Baby, you're lost, Baby you're lost

Baby you're lost cause

I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of figthing

Fighting for a lost cause

~Beck

Chapter 13---

Mackenzie's POV

I was staring out the window of the Owlery. The Hogwarts grounds were covered in snow and many of the younger students were playing and making snow angels. The older students actually have work to do, so most likely they were inside, studying.

I sighed, I wasn't sure how long I'd been up here, but I knew it had been awhile since I had left Ben and gone to post a letter to my brother. Christmas was drawing nearer, and I still had no idea what I was going to do over break. Also, it had been a long time since I had talked to my family and I needed to be informed on family news. Rose and Al and of course the rest of their family had invited me up for Christmas break, so I also sent a letter to Dad asking his permission, among other things.

Then, I heard footsteps behind me and I quickly turned.

"Jeez, Kenzie, did you know you've been up here for an hour and a half?" Al asks me as he enters. The first thought I think is: wow. He's in muggle clothes because it's a Saturday and he's wearing jeans and a green t-shirt that matches his piercing green eyes. I make a quick mental note of all this before I answer him.

"Ah, well see I came here because I had to send letters to my family asking if it would be possible for me to go to your place this break and then….well you know how good I am at procrastinating." I smile at him as I say this.

Al chuckles, "Very true, it's your fault I can never concentrate on my homework! You're always trying to do anything to get out of doing work!"

I stick my tongue out at him like the mature person I am. "Well, it helps that you are so easy to distract." I wink at him. I try not to focus too much on the double meaning of what I just said, but Al seems to have no problem ignoring this.

He rolls his eyes, "Fine, fine, let's get you downstairs and attempt homework." He starts to walk away.

"Nooo, don't leave me!" I scream. Then I run and pounce on his back. Somehow, he manages to maneuver his body so that he's giving me a piggyback ride.

"You're lucky I have fast reflexes" Al says while laughing.

"I'm also lucky I trust you" I say while giggling "not many people can catch me. Now run my noble horse! Run!"

We ran (well, Al ran, I was on his back) through the halls dodging suits of armor and innocent bystanders, laughing the entire way back to the Gryffindor Tower.

The Fat Lady stares at us mundanely, "Password?"

The funny thing is she doesn't even really act like anything is out of the ordinary, which sets me off laughing. Then, Al starts laughing too. The Fat Lady sighs exasperatedly.

"S-s-sorry," I try to say while laughing. Then, I hear a giggle behind us; Rose and Scor are looking at us incredulously trying to decide whether or not to laugh.

"Lemon Drop," Rose says clearly, and the portrait swings open.

We all troop into the Common Room, and then Al dumps me on a couch. I close my eyes, but he quickly interrupts my plans for sleeping.

"C'mon Kenzie, homework time!" he says while trying to pull me up off the couch.

I groan, "Al, you're the one who put me down on this couch!" He laughs at me.

"And now, I'm going to take you off the couch!" he grabs me so one hand is under my knees and the other is around my shoulders, carrying me bridal style.

I smile up at him, "Where to now, Cap'n?" I ask. He looks around and then realizes he hasn't totally thought this plan through.

Or, at least, I thought he hadn't. He smiles mischievously, then he throws me back on the couch and pounces on me, tickling me. Damn, he knows how ticklish I am. I start laughing so hard I can't breathe "Hahaha ok…truce!! Hahahaha" I exclaim.

Mercifully, he stops and we lock eyes. I realize that even though we're in the common room still, it's completely empty. I'm breathing hard trying to catch my breath, and we just stare at each other. Then, Scor and Rose come downstairs (from different staircases, respectively).

"Time for homework, Z, or we all know you'll never get it done!" Rose orders me in her sing song voice.

Al gets up, and Scor hands him his books. I sigh and sit down to do my homework. "But I get a treat if I finish it, right Mommy?" I ask Rose in my baby voice. We all giggle and then get started on our homework.

The next morning was a quiet affair. At breakfast, my friends and I sat there, obviously still trying to wake up while the rest of the hall titters. I hear the sound of wings and look up, the owls are coming in with the mail.

The good thing about being a witch is that the post comes every day of the week, so it doesn't matter that it's a Sunday. I quickly recognize my owl, Thaddeus, flying towards me. I realize what a quick reply this would be from my family.

Thaddeus reaches me, and she gives me a quick peck on the finger. I give her a little piece of crust from my toast. "Thanks, Thaddie, you cute little bird," I coo "you must have been flying all night to get this to me."

Al snorts at me, he doesn't believe in talking to animals, but I ignore him and open my letter.

Kenz,

I hope this reaches you quickly, I asked Thaddie to be sure you got this ASAP. No girls in my life, sorry, I know how much you wanted to intimidate some unlucky girl. Nate is doing pretty well, all things considering. Good to know your friends have invited you to spend break with them, you probably won't want to spend it at home. Dad says to send you his love. And now, there is some big news. Dad and Mom are getting a divorce.

They're doing what now?!?! I almost choke on my food.

It probably will come as a shock to you, but things haven't been too good around here lately. You know they fight, but, well, they fight a lot more often now. I think it's a good thing, you know that Dad deserves to be freed from The Bitch. Just thought you might want to know this, it might be best to stay away from home this Christmas. The Bitch is not too happy about the recent development.

Love,

Xander

I stare at the letter, not totally comprehending. Divorce? I mean, I knew my mom could be kind of…well, bitchy, but I always thought she would get over it. I also realize that this is the first time I have ever heard Xander call mom The Bitch. I always called her that when she was being really mean to me, but Xander was too sweet and never adopted the nickname. Things must be really bad at home. And it was all my fault.

I look up to realize that Rose, Al and Scor are all looking at me. I quickly tuck my letter in the crook of my arm. "I'm not hungry anymore." I say quietly and then I leave the table.

Walk. Breathe. Don't cry. I repeat this mantra the entire way to the door of the Great Hall. I almost made it, too. "Z!" someone exclaims they were on the other side of the door that I opened.

I look at the boy, trying to remember him. Oh! "Hey Ben," I said quietly. "Look I'm not feeling too well, so-"

"Are you ok? Do you need me to walk you back to your dormitory?" Ben asks quickly

Now, normally I'm sure any other girl would be grateful to her boyfriend taking such great concern over her well being. But, seeing as I'm not any other girl, I brush him aside, "Um, no thanks Ben I'll be okay." I quickly mutter to him, running away.

I'm sure I left a very confused boy behind. I ran all the way to the seventh corridor. I quickly got the letter out again and reread it. As I was reading, memories came back to me. My mom braiding my hair for my sixth birthday party, us dancing around room while the boys were watching star wars (a muggle movie), me crying to her when my brother had pushed me down a flight of stairs and I had skinned my knees. Divorce. Divorce was permanent. We would never be the same family again. We would never go on family vacations, I would have two addresses.

I felt tears pricking in my eyes. I decided that I could make an exception, even though it wasn't my Doom Day, I felt I had a right to cry.

"Kenzie?" I hear Al ask quietly. I turn and see him standing a few meters behind me. I realize that he has been behind me the whole time. I just stare at him.

He rushes towards me and hugs me. "What does the letter say?" I hand it to him, wordlessly, and wait. I watch as his green eyes scan the parchment, reading the quick letter that ended my family as I knew it.

My head is pressed to his chest and I feel the vibrations of his voice as he says to me, "Of course you can come with us over Christmas. You know that."

I wrap my arms around his waist and bury my head in his chest. "I know. You're family is amazing" my voice cracks while saying this.

He brings his arm around me and hugs me tight. We stay there for an immeasurable amount of time. Just hugging each other, and for now I don't need to cry.

But, of course, everything must come to an end. "Thanks," I whisper, letting my arms fall to my sides.

Al looks at me concerned, I remember Ben looking at me like this and getting irritated with him. For some reason, it doesn't matter when Al is concerned for me.

"I'm going to tell my mum that you're coming for break." Al says to me "She and my dad will be thrilled, they love you."

I look away from him. His arm reaches out and his hand cups my face, making me look back towards him "Hey," he says.

I look at him "I know that it will be okay." I say to him, "I know that in the end, with time, everything will be fine. And I know that my mom was terrible towards me and I'm sure that you know I complain about her all the time. But, she's my mom. And my dad is, well, my dad. If you had seen them in the early days you would know they were meant for each other. Them being apart officially, by law, it's weird." I'm looking straight into Al's eyes, trying to get him to understand.

"I mean," I sigh. "I don't know what I mean. It's too strange to comprehend."

Al studies me. "I have no idea what you're going through right now." He says. Well, duh. I'm sure my face says the same thing as my thoughts.

"But," he continues "I do know that chocolate and friends help everything." He offers his hand to me and I take it as we run together through the corridors of Hogwarts, towards the kitchen.

We reach the portrait, tickled the pear, greeted the elves, and got the chocolate all in record time. As we were running back to the Gryffindor Tower, still holding hands, we ran into someone. "Oh!" I exclaimed. "Sorry!" Then I help the person from the ground, before realizing that it was my boyfriend. Whoops. I quickly drop Al's hand.

"Hey Ben" I say.

He kind of glares at me, "How are you feeling?" he asks harshly.

Subconsciously, I glance at Al, his face is hard and he's glaring at Ben and frowning.

I sigh "I could be better,"

Ben rolls his eyes at me. What is up with him? "Yeah, you seem to be feeling much better now that Albus Potter is with you." He says disdainfully.

Now, it's my turn to glare. "What are you trying to say, Ben?" I ask defensively.

Now, no one probably knew this, but this fight had been coming for a long time. On the surface, Ben and I were pretty much like any other couple; we went out on dates in Hogsmead, held hands, and kissed occasionally, but he was always asking about Al, was Al still dating Sasha? Is Al my best friend? Do I tell Al everything? Etc. It was like he had an obsession with Al, for some reason, and it got on my nerves.

"I'm sure you know what I'm trying to say, Mackenzie!" Ben quickly yells at me. Luckily, no one else is around to hear the fight.

"Don't yell at her!" Al yells at Ben.

"She's my girlfriend and I'll yell at her if I want to!" Ben yells back.

Ok, now I'm angry. "Excuse me?! You think you have the right to yell at me?!"

Ben glares at me. "You know what, we're over!" he yells "I can't believe I was concerned for your health and wondering if I should bring you something to cheer you up while you were off having a fun adventure with your best friend! Albus Potter isn't bloody perfect!"

I whip out my wand and yell "Pretrificous Totalus!" Ben becomes still, and then falls to the floor. I stomp over to him, "I am not your property! You have no right to yell at me! For your information I wasn't feeling well because I got a note from my brother saying that my parents are getting a divorce! Not that I have any reason to explain myself to you! Al was just being a good friend and I was starting to feel better until I ran into you! You had no right to assume things were other than friendly! But fine! If you want our relationship to be over; it is! We're DONE! You stupid little jealous-"

But before I can finish my rant, Al pulls be to him by my waist. "C'mon Z, let's go before someone hears us and finds him." And we leave quickly. But not before one last glare at my petrified ex-boyfriend.

A/N: ok, wow :0 a lot of things happened in this chapter! please review and the next chapter will be up soon!!! I kinda felt that the song in the beginning is similar to something that Z's Dad might think about her mom, so i just put it in there. Hope you liked it!! :) Haha, i also thought my title was clever because of Divorce and Z yells to Ben that they are Done

P.S.: just a litle hint: people are not always who they seem....

~wwccd