I've missed this. But our mini-vacation was great and Blakely got spoiled rotten, so I really have no complaints. Except for the fact that I'm going through withdrawal right now and I started typing almost as soon as I got back into the apartment. Jensen is unpacking our stuff and Blakely is napping…so I've got some time to update.

This chapter deals with some sensitive subjects, only in the part that is BPOV. Beware!

My fabulous pre-reader is still gone…but she's been an immense help so I won't hold it against her or anything ;)

…

EPOV

My mother's question echoed in my ears, and I remained silent.

"Edward, where's her mother?" Esme repeated, looking from Avery's face to mine.

I rubbed the back of my neck absentmindedly, sighing. "Bella isn't…around." I said slowly. "She was, up until about two months ago. And then one day she just…left." I explained. "She's somewhere in Seattle, with her mother. I think she's going back to finish school or something, and she said that 'she couldn't do this anymore.' Bella is no longer in either of our lives." I said in a hollow voice. "She's gone."

"Are you…are you serious?" Esme asked incredulously, her eyebrows shooting up. "She left her child, just like that? And you?"

"Yes." I muttered. "And I don't know what to do…when Avery grows up, she's going to need her mother." I confessed.

Esme awkwardly rubbed my arm, looking a little hesitant. "Edward…what happened to you?" She asked suddenly, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. "Did you…leave because of something that your father and I did? I'm sorry, I know you probably don't want to talk about this, but please…I need to understand this. Please."

I hesitated, and my breathing became shallow as I remembered parts of the life I had so desperately escaped after realizing that it would destroy me. I remember wondering why I had left my parents house, I remember meeting James and taking the first drink, the first line of cocaine. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, the memories painful and fresh in my mind.

"It wasn't because of you." I managed to say. "It was because I was stupid and wanted a thrill. And it didn't take long for me to get in too deep…and when I did, that was pretty much it. It took a lot for me to get away from that life, and I'm sorry for not coming back right away. I thought that you would want nothing to do with me. So I started a new life, and then when Bella got pregnant, things kind of started crashing down again. Somehow I managed to stay above ground, though. I guess I'm stronger than I thought, and when I realized that, I decided that it was time for me to make amends, especially with you and dad."

Esme was quiet for a long moment, a few tears running down her cheeks as she continued to stare at me. Then she blinked and looked down at Avery, and then back up at me. "We missed you. Even though you took a lot of wrong turns, I'm proud of who you are now. You're raising your daughter by yourself and you're sober and…you're back." She whispered, and I managed another smile, although my eyes were filling up with tears.

She leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder, and I welcomed the comfort and familiarity that the gesture brought.

The quiet moment was soon interrupted when I heard the front door open. Esme straightened up slightly, and then stood with Avery in her arms. "That's probably your father." She murmured, smoothing down her hair. "He can't wait to meet Avery." She added as we walked towards the foyer. When we walked into the room, my father was hanging his coat up in the closet, and when he turned around to face us I knew that this was actually going to work out. This was a good idea.

"Edward." He said, a smile on his face. "Welcome home." And then he gave me a hug. I couldn't remember the last time that I had hugged my father, but it didn't feel awkward at all. I felt like I was prodigal son returning, even though I was probably far from that.

"Thank you." I said, and my voice sounded strange, even to myself.

"Carlisle, look." Esme interrupted, nodding down at Avery. She had her head tucked in the crook of my mother's neck, lightly sucking on her thumb as she stared intently at her grandfather. Carlisle smiled, taking a step forward and examining Avery.

"She's going to be a heartbreaker one day." He finally said, smiling at me. "Just look at those big green eyes."

A heartbreaker…just like her mother. That made me want to cringe, but I managed to fake a smile. "Yeah, she will be."

…

BPOV

"Jane, are you sure about this?" I asked hesitantly, looking at myself in the mirror. She had shoved me into a skintight mini dress and a pair of stilettos, and I felt unbelievably uncomfortable. "We don't even have to go out tonight, we could just stay home."

Jane looked at me through the mirror, her expression showing her disgust. "Ugh, no. I want to go to this party. We don't have to stay long." She promised, and then continued to cake her face with makeup. "Now, put your makeup on so we can leave soon." Jane ordered. "You can use any of the stuff I've got." She added, gesturing to her makeup bag.

"Thanks." I muttered, walking over to the mirror. Instead of slathering the makeup on my face like Jane was doing, I applied a light layer of foundation, and then my usual eye makeup and lipstick. "There, I'm done." I said, looking intently at my reflection.

I thought I would look different. After I got pregnant, and especially after Avery was born, I looked so much older. When I left, I expected to look and feel younger, because I was back in the environment I was used to. But I looked the same, except sadder. And I didn't know why.

"Alright, let's go." Jane said, blowing a kiss at her reflection in the mirror.

The party was already in full swing when we walked through the door, and I looked around nervously. I hadn't been to a party since the night I got pregnant, and it felt strange. There were people drinking and smoking and kissing all over the place, and it made me uncomfortable. But I just followed Jane. She headed straight towards the keg, grabbing a drink for herself and for me.

I took mine hesitantly, only taking a little sip while Jane chugged hers down. "I'm going to go say hi to some people." Jane said, talking loudly over the music. Before I could protest, she turned away and was gone. I looked around, even more nervous, but I found absolutely no comfort in my surroundings.

So I walked towards the back of the house, hoping to find somewhere to hide out until Jane was finally ready to leave. I didn't even know why I was here…the whole reason I had left was to grow up, and here I was at a party, not acting mature at all.

I walked around the house aimlessly for a little while, not talking to anyone and trying to avoid eye contact. I didn't see Jane anywhere, and I was starting to worry. After about an hour of this, I walked towards the back of the house again, but instead of finding the solitude I wanted, I ran into a stranger. He loomed over me, reeking of week and alcohol, and I immediately took a step back.

But he smiled at me, taking a step closer to me. "Are you looking for someone?" He asked, slurring his words silently.

I nodded wordlessly, and took another step back, looking over my shoulder. "Just my friend." I said weakly. "Jane."

"I know where Jane is. She's back there, with some of my friends." The guy said, smiling at me and pointing to a door over his shoulder. "Come on." He grabbed my arm before I could protest, pulling me towards the door. I tried to pull away, but it was useless. The guy pushed the door open and walked inside, practically dragging me into the room as well before he shut the door.

My breathing was becoming shallow as I fought back a panic attack, wondering what I should do. I thought the guy had just been lying about Jane, but she was in the room. Once my eyes adjusted to the dark, I saw that there were four men in the room, and Jane was lying on the bed. Tears stung my eyes as I realized what was happening; what they were doing. I tried to turn around, but the guy holding my arm just held on tighter.

Before I could even figure out was happening, I was a part of it, lying next to Jane, surrounded by strangers, and completely and totally helpless.

…

I couldn't stop crying through the whole thing. I knew what was happening, I knew what they were doing to me. I cried out for help repeatedly, but no one came. Jane was practically motionless beside me, and for a long time I thought she was dead. It seemed to go on forever, like it was never ending. Eventually it was over, and I felt dirty and used and broken.

...

I didn't have it in me to make that last part graphic at all…yes, Bella and Jane were raped. No, neither of them are dead. This isn't a matter to take lightly, so please don't. Rape is a serious crime, and can destroy lives.

Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie