So things are starting to come together a little bit, like I promised. But we're still not quite there yet. We had a little hold-up with the last chapter, not sure why, but chapter 20 wasn't showing up. So I took it down and reposted it- hopefully it's up and running now.

Not sure if I said this or not, but my husband and I are leaving Friday night to go on a little getaway so we can celebrate our one year anniversary a couple weeks early (the actual date is August 15) and I'll be gone from the twenty third until the first of August.

…

EPOV

It had been good to reconnect with my parents again, but it was even better to be home. I rocked Avery gently in my arms as I feed her, glancing at the clock and sighing. I had to go to work in ten minutes, and Alice would be here soon.

Over the past few months, Alice has been around a lot, along with her boyfriend Jasper. Whenever I have to work and Charlie is unavailable, they're always more than happy to help out. At first I had been a little wary of Alice, but then I had quickly warmed up to her. Alice was charismatic and easy to talk to and I could see why she had tried to befriend Bella right away. Alice wanted to help people, she wanted to understand what people were going through. And she had an uncanny knack for figuring that kind of stuff out. Plus, she adored Avery. She spoiled her in every sense of the word, which was good. Since Bella left, I've had less and less time to get everything done, meaning I don't get to spend time with Avery.

And she was already growing up so fast. In the three months that Bella has been gone, Avery has started responding to her own name, has started trying to talk, and has fallen in love with her own expression. Even though this life used to be the last thing I had ever wanted, now I couldn't imagine missing out on these precious moments. It's heartbreaking when Avery cries when I leave, even though she waves beforehand. I can't stop thinking about how there's a good chance Avery will never really know Bella.

Because I missed her. I had her, and then I lost her for both Avery and me. At first the raging hate had consumed me and made me numb, but that was mostly gone now. I had wanted to hurt her by trying to get her rights taken away, but I had never been able to go through with it. I was secretly hoping that Bella would come back, even though I don't know if I would ever be able to forgive her.

It was unfair, and not just for me. For Avery and Charlie, too.

…..

BPOV

"You don't have to send him one, if you don't want to." Renée said gently, looking over my shoulder. It had been two weeks since my hospital stay, and my mother was still walking around on eggshells. Yes, what had happened was awful and hurtful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I didn't want to talk about it ever again. It was a part of my life that I wanted to forget, just like I wanted to forget about leaving my baby…but I couldn't.

I had thought that the pain would eventually lessen, but I couldn't have been more wrong. It gets stronger each and every day, and I know that one day, it's just going to burst and I'm going to be in pieces all over again. This is supposed to be better for them and for me- but I can't help feeling that it's not. At least not for me. After a few months, there's a good chance Avery won't even remember me. It's already been three long months…she's probably already started changing and growing up so much.

I blinked back tears, and then glanced up at my mom. "I know." I said softly, looking down at the stack of graduation announcements and invitations in front of me. "I doubt he'll come…but I just want him to know that I got off my ass and actually finished high school."

Renée nodded distractedly, stroking my hair softly. "It's your call, baby." She murmured. "You know, I thought we should talk a little bit about what happened. You know that it's not good to keep all your emotions and feelings bottled up inside, and I just want to-"

"Mom, please. I really don't have anything to say about it, so just let it go." I pleaded. "I want to forget about it and move on…I'm not going to let myself remember what…what they did. It's going to be bad enough when I have to go in for my follow-up tomorrow."

"Okay." My mom relented, and then kissed the top of my head. "Invite him if you want, honey. He's always going to be a part of your life."

I nodded silently and listened to my mom leave the room, her bare feet padding quietly across the carpeted floor of my bedroom. Taking a deep breath, I painstakingly wrote the familiar address down on the envelope and jammed and announcement and invitation inside, licking the flap and quickly sealing it shut. Then I dropped it in a pile with the rest of the addressed envelopes, and decided to not think about it again until I had to.

That seemed to be my new approach on life- just shutting things away and trying to block them out. It made things easier now, but I knew that wouldn't last for long. I had done this- uprooted my life, not to mention Edward and Avery's, and it was supposed to make things better. I was quickly learning what a bad decision I had made, but I also knew I couldn't just walk back into their lives, because that wouldn't be right or fair to anyone.

…

"Noticed any swelling? Pain?" Dr. Cullen asked, gently prodding at the back of my head.

"No." I said softly, holding still. "It hasn't been bothering me at all." I said.

Dr. Cullen nodded, and then pulled off his gloves and picked up my chart. "If you're not experiencing any pain, then, I say you're good to go." He advised, and then glanced up at me from his clipboard. "Graduating soon?" He asked conversationally, and I nodded.

"Yes, in three weeks." I said. Then for some reason, I decided to address my morbid curiosity. "Do you have any children, Dr. Cullen?"

"In fact, I do. A son. He's several years older than you, and we just now got our relationship back on track." He said, offering me a smile. "He has an adorable eleven month old daughter, I'm sure that has something to do with his change of heart."

I forced myself to smile, although my heart was really aching. Avery's eleven month birthday would be in eleven days, and I wouldn't be there. Just like I hadn't been there for the past three months.

…

Please review, it means a whole bunch to me!

Going to try and update 'Eye of the Beholder' tomorrow, and I'm still working on the last chapter of 'Divine Mercy'. Sadly, I might not be able to get that done until I get home in August. As always, we'll just have to sit around and wait and see.

Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie