Sorry for the delay in this chapter- there's been a lot going on lately. But here it is, just a little later than I originally planned. Thanks for not giving up on this story, and for your awesome reviews. Right now, there are almost 530 reviews, and that's overwhelming. I can never say thank you enough!

Anyway, on with the chapter.

Thanks Wendy, for pre-reading!

…...

BPOV

Renée knew something was up with me later that night when I returned home from the party. The moment I walked in the door, she was all over me.

"Are you okay? How was it?" She asked, touching my cheek with her cool fingers. "Do you want to talk about it?" I didn't reply, pushing past her and heading up the stairs. However, she didn't seem to take the hint and was right on my heels, continuing to question me endlessly when all I wanted was silence and peace. "Bella, you're freaking me out." Renée followed me into my bedroom and closed the door, sitting down on the end of my bed as I stood at my desk and gathered up all of my college applications, essays, and scholarship information.

Although she kept questioning me, I remained silent, finding a box in my closet and unceremoniously dumping all of my stupid college papers into it.

"Bella, what in God's name are you doing?" Renée snapped, and I finally turned around to face her, my arms crossed tightly over my chest, tears already running down my face.

"What am I doing?" I finally managed, my chest starting to rise and fall rapidly as I began to cry. "I miss her. I miss him. I don't know what to do!" I wailed, and Renée quickly stood up and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly. "I can't do this," I whispered, and I suddenly felt like I was right back at page one again.

Here I was, running away again. Here I was, going back on my own decision. Here I was, continuing to be a hypocrite.

Is this really what I am? What I've become? This didn't used to be me…once upon a time I was smart and independent and knew what I wanted. I don't know what happened to that part of me, but it seems to be gone for good. I'm certainly not a child anymore but I haven't done anything to prove that I'm an adult. All of this- going back to high school and graduating and living in Seattle has been wonderful, but it's not even close to what my heart truly wants.

My head is telling me to forget about Edward- to accept my choice to leave him and Avery and move on with my life and become an adult. But my heart is desperately telling me that I love both of them too much to ever truly let them go. My emotions and thoughts are all over the place, and I have no idea what to do.

I've been trying to block out and forget all the negative parts of my life, like leaving Edward and Avery and everything that happened to Jane and I that night at the party, but those horrible moments keep flooding to the front of my mind, replaying over and over again until I feel like I'm going crazy.

"Mom," I whispered, sniffling. "Mom, I miss them."

Renée stiffened, and then started stroking my hair gently. "It'll be okay," she soothed, rocking back and forth slightly. "You'll go to college and get a degree and then a job and have the fresh start you came here looking for. I know you miss them, but this was your choice, baby."

"Why do I always choose the wrong thing?" I asked, my tears starting to fall even harder. "Why am I such a bad person?

"You're not a bad person, Bella," Renée assured me quickly, squeezing me even tighter. "You're a teenager. And even though you haven't made the best decisions…you're naïve, and you were too impulsive. I'm so sorry sweetie, but you've either got to live with it or make it right. Life is full of decisions and choices…you may try and run away from things that intimidate or scare you, but you can't run forever."

I continued to cry for several more minutes, letting go of my anger and sadness and fear and frustration until I was just me again, stripped to the bone and ready to make things right.

…

"Your dad doesn't think it's a good idea." Renée's words sounded sharp, but I knew they were really anything but. She was helping me.

"Did you tell him?" I asked, turning around to face her.

"Yes, of course I did," Renée said, walking past me and into the kitchen. "He said that you need to consider Edward, and he's right." She dropped her purse on the table, and then put her hands on her hips. "Bella, you've got no right to get back into both of their lives until Edward says you can. You left Avery with him, and he's been taking care of her. I know you probably don't want to admit it, but he has the right to make these decisions."

Renée had gone to Charlie for me, trying to work out some kind of arrangement. I had thought maybe I could live with him and get a job and still be able to see Avery and maybe even Edward. But it looked like that wouldn't be happening anytime soon. But truthfully, I didn't really blame Charlie for not agreeing with my idea.

He had done everything he could for me, and I had still left him without any kind of goodbye.

"You're going to be late for work," Renée muttered, breaking the awkward silence. "Do you want a ride to the bookstore?"

"No, I can walk," I said quietly, sliding on my flip flops and reaching for my purse. "Hey, Mom?" I asked tentatively, and raised her eyebrows at me. "Do you think…do you think Edward would hear me out if I went to talk to him?" I wondered aloud, and Renée pursed her lips.

"I don't know," she said quietly, and then left the room, turning off the lights behind her.

Work, as always, was dull. I loved the comfortable and cozy environment of the independently owned bookstore, but working behind the counter didn't thrill me the way actually reading novels did. Most of the books in stock were new copies, but there was also a used book section, which was my favorite. When the steady stream of customers would always lull in the early afternoon, I assumed myself by sifting through the shelves in search of some sort of treasure.

I had gotten my hands on a first edition once, and had also found some beloved and forgotten books that had once been my favorites.

I was there, looking through the selves in the used book section, when a quiet ringing noise told me that someone had just entered the store. I reluctantly put down the tattered copy of Wuthering Heights I had been examining and made my way to the front of the book store, brushing dust off of my smock as I did so.

Much to my surprise, Esme Cullen was standing near the door, looking just as warm and sweet and vintage as she always did. Her red lips curled up in a polite smile when she saw me approach, and she reached into her purse for something simultaneously.

"Bella, I don't mean to bother you, but Edward asked me to deliver this." She held out a white envelope, and I could see my name clearly written in Edward's handwriting.

I felt as if all the air was rushing out of my body, and I realized that this could be my chance to make things right.

…

I hope you all have had a wonderful start to fall, and have a great Halloween on Sunday! I don't know when I'll be updating next, but I'm going to try and make it very soon. Like I said last chapter, there isn't a whole lot left to this story, and I don't want to drag it out too far.

I'm planning on updating "We Have the Summer" and then "Eye of the Beholder" next, so if you're reading either of those two, keep your eyes peeled for an update during the week. And of course I'll be updating my go-to story, "Picture Perfect" soon as well.

Please review- I love to hear from all of you!

Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie