Chapter 3

A few hours had past, and Aaron is in Bar West, drinking his sorrows away.

But he is not alone, a man called Liam is keeping him company, keeping him entertained.

But to be honest, his mind is elsewhere, his heart is not in it. His heart is miles away, in Dale View, lying with Jackson. He told Jackson he loved him months ago, but he had not said it to him again in weeks, not knowing what reaction he would get now by saying those 3 little words. Those 3 little words at the time seemed to make all difference, Jackson smile lasted for hours, it wasn't forced or contrived and it finally brought life to his eyes again, making Aaron wish he would have done it sooner.

But it soon wore off, it soon fell back into the frown that is now permanently etched on his face. Now all his face does is wear Aaron down, every single move Aaron makes seems to annoy Jackson, he couldn't do anything right, he couldn't win, not anymore!

And the heartbreaking thing is, Aaron can see in his mind, how perfect everything could be, but Jackson won't even give them a try.

And now Aaron is listening to Liam prattle on, nodding in all the right places, saying yes and no occasionally, pretending to give a shit. Why couldn't he be in a situation he wanted to be in, why couldn't he do what he wanted to do?

Then Aaron realised, why couldn't he? What was there to lose now? Jackson was already too far gone.

Aaron's eyes rested upon Liam's lips, lingering his stare a little too long to avoid being caught, taking in the texture, thickness, and the redness of them.

He wanted to kiss them, he wanted so desperately and so badly, to lose himself, to lose who he was, and he feels this is the only way.

He watched his moving lips, not listening to his words, he couldn't care less about what he is saying, he'd blocked him out completely, he just wished Liam was doing something more useful with his lips.

Liam stopped talking, he knew Aaron wasn't listening now, he had other things on his mind, and he wanted to help ease some of the tension that was evident in his posture.

"You like what you see?" Liam smirked.

"Yeah, yeah I do" Aaron spoke, pure instinct taking over, he was tired of thinking, he just wanted to feel, to feel something other than sadness.

"What would you like to do to me?" Liam asked casually.

"Shut you up" he whispered huskily.

Liam laughed loudly, liking the forwardness of the man before him.

"Do you have all night free?" Liam asked eagerly.

Aaron thought about his choice of words before he spoke, thinking about all what Jackson had said tonight, before answering him.

"I'm free, I'm free to do what I want, whenever I want" He said quietly.

"Good, I don't live far, do you want to come back to mine?" Liam asked smiling, but he already knew the answer.

Aaron bit his lip subconsciously, closing his eyes in the process, it had been so long, and he wanted more than anything to free himself from the months of being tied and bound beyond his control.

...

He felt a sense of hate, crashing over him, as their lips crashed together. But that's ok, it's alright, he doesn't care!

Liam closed the door behind them, guiding him blindly to his room, never for one moment did their mouths break contact. Aaron accepted willingly, Liam's forceful tongue down his throat. Enjoying the taste of him, enjoying this new, and exciting world he wants to get lost in so much. Liam ripped and clawed at Aaron's shirt, the buttons tumbling to the floor, his nails skimming against Aaron's stomach as he tears the material from his body, but Aaron didn't mind, he was enjoying every second of this!

Teeth clashing, lips bitten, hands possessing everything that the other owned, this is the life Aaron thought, this is the life for me.

This was not making love, hell, this wasn't even sex...this was a frenzied attack, a desirable mixture of sharp pain and intense pleasure, of which both willingly want. This is what Aaron needs, it's all he needs right now!

They made it to the bedroom, their clothes in a heap in various places around Liam's flat, Aaron began sucking the pulse on his neck, needing to feel the beating rhythm in his mouth, between his teeth.

Before Aaron knew what hit him, he was thrown down roughly onto the bed, willingly letting Liam take control. Liam turned him abruptly onto his front, leaving Aaron face down in his sheets.

He didn't use anything, fuck, he didn't even prepare him, he just struck straight through the resistance. Aaron wasn't bothered though, he took it, just like he took all of Jackson's crap for the past 6 months without moaning. Pain is weakness leaving the body Aaron thought to himself, telling himself that over and over, pain is weakness leaving the body, pain is weakness leaving the body, and it was true, because Jackson has left him!

Aaron impacted blow and blow, fierce thrusts deep inside of him, all the while his mind in overdrive...

"Just a few more moments, just a few more moments, then it will come, the feeling will come, I won't feel sad anymore.

But god this pain feels so good. It makes a change from killing me from the inside out! His rawness is incredible. Go on Liam, that's it, hurt me, hurt me, FUCKING DESTROY ME! It's all I've known, all my life, it feels safe to hurt, I'm good at it, an expert at this.

But there it is, I can feel it coming, contaminating me, oh my god, there it is!

I haven't felt this in months, God I've missed this, more than anything else in the entire world. My face pushed against these sheets, cutting off my air supply, but it's adding to the euphoria!

What would Jackson do, what would he say if he saw me now, watching another man take me, would he hate me? Could he hate me anymore than he already does? I wish Jackson was here right now, watching me doing this. Then he could see, he could see me for who I really am, I could show him the man I was all along, showing him what I'm worth...I'm worth nothing!

I am damaged at best, like I bet he has already figured out, I'm no better than the worst.

Oh god, I'm coming, I'm coming for the first time in months! It feels so good, yes, yes, it's what I want, It's all I want.

"Open your mouth" Liam ordered huskily.

Aaron happily obliged. His load, leaving a sour taste, in his mouth. But that's alright, because he can take it, he can take everything you throw at him, he's Aaron Livesy, punishment is all he has known!

He's not perfect, and he is not even trying to be...

"Aaron...Aaron, Aaron?"

...

"Aaron...Aaron, Aaron?" Liam asked, he annoyance rising.

Aaron opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings.

"Aaron?"

"What?"

"So, what do you think?" Liam asked eagerly.

"About what?" Aaron asked confused.

Liam hesitated, his confidence wailing "I don't usually do this, not with someone I don't even know but, I don't live far, do you want to come back to mine?"