Chapter 8

His first night in the home had proved difficult, like he expected. Although he never expected the place to be quite so noisy!

Residents crying in the middle of the night, screaming random names out who were meaningless to him. People creeping in and out of his room, checking he was alright, what did they think would happen, he couldn't exactly end this never ending nightmare himself could he? No, death is too good for him apparently, no one would dare do what he wants would they?

So he spent the night wide awake, trying his best not to hear the commotion surrounding him. Thinking about this side of life he has found himself on, that he never knew. He would never believe such tragedies could happen if you would have told him, he never for one moment would have believed they were true...until now.

Hearing all the people hurting around him, he resisted calling out his name, he controlled the temptation to shout out to go home, to go back to him.

He felt something die inside of him when he realised, he probably would never say his name again.

He told himself it wasn't aloud now since he told staff never to let him in to see him, Aaron would never get past the door.

Thinking about him was ok though, because memories of their time together was going to get him through the rest of his days...they just had to!

The perfection of his face always calms down his racing heart, slowing down all other thoughts.

Morning came slowly and they got him ready to start the new day, or the first day of the rest of his existence.

Washing him, drying the water, changing his bag, dressing him. They can touch him for as long as they want, there's no feeling left, he can't feel his dignity being ripped away, that went right out of the window the day when, at 22, his mum gave him a bed bath, the day his boyfriend checked his body for bed sores.

He must be missing, he must be missing the point!

Because he can't see it, he can't see the point of him, the point of himself. Sat here motionless waiting for someone to bring him his breakfast. One night gone, only another 100,000 more in this place, until it's all over...

"Here ya go Jackson" The carer spoke quickly placing his breakfast on the table in front of him, then walking away.

Jackson couldn't quite believe it, he was stunned. In case anyone hadn't noticed, his arms and legs are dead, how the fuck was he expected to feed himself?

"Erm excuse me, gonna need a little help" Jackson said, gesturing to his arms with his head.

"Oh yeah, back in a minute" the carer said before fleeting off to attend to god knows what.

Jackson couldn't believe it, by the time the carer will come back his cereal will probably be soggy and his cup of tea will be cold! His mum would never pull a stunt like this, no, she would put everything on hold, stop the world just to give him his breakfast. Anything to make his life just that little bit easier.

But Jackson was beginning to understand, in a place like this...he was just a number, a face in the crowd, he was not the centre of anyone's world in here. So he casts his eyes back down, looking at the floor.

And he will wait, he will wait patiently until they can find the time to feed him...

"They said they were just making my morning coffee and bringing me some crumpets...that was about half an hour ago" A woman laughed gently beside him.

He didn't even know anyone was beside him, he hadn't looked up since he was placed here, out of the way. But he glanced up upon hearing her voice, she was in a wheelchair to, arms robotically placed at her sides like his. Dark hair just passing her shoulders, not a wrinkle in sight, but he could tell she was in her 40's, the lack of thickness in her skin giving her away, and the dark circles beneath her eyes, like she never ever sleeps.

As Jackson continued to take every detail of her face in, she broke the now prolonged silence.

"I'm Emily...what's your name?"

...

Aaron pulled his phone out of his pocket, answering the incoming call.

"Hi Hazel, yeah I've found him, it wasn't that hard, Joe spilt his guts by the time I was finished with him...

No I didn't hurt him, I just said I would break his legs if he didn't tell me where Jackson was. Yeah it's where we thought he would be, so I take it it's a good sign he never went further afield?

Ok, well I'm going to head straight there, yeah ok I'll wait there, hurry up though, bye".

Aaron pulled up in the car park of the building Jackson was calling home now. Turning up the radio nice and loud, trying to distract himself from wanting to just barge into the place and take Jackson back to where he belongs.

His foot began to tap the pedals lightly, before turning fiercer, his hands gripping the steering wheel with all their might. His heart racing like mad in time to the thumping music vibrating in the car.

Until he could take no more, he couldn't wait for Hazel to arrive, he just had to see him now, he just had to! He had nothing memorised to say to him, no words or comforting incentives to get him to come home. He was hoping he could wing it and let his heart rule his head, praying to god that he had it in him to ignite Jackson's once bright spark for life...and trying not to think of how lousy he truly is with words, he couldn't afford to be, not right now, not when his heart is feeling so heavy, aching to be with the man on the other side of those walls.

He walked to the entrance and through the doors to the reception, attracting the attention of the receptionist sitting behind a desk.

"Can I help you sir?" The woman asked politely.

'Oh not today' Aaron thought, seeing clearly the pretty young woman flirting with him, twirling a strand of her hair between her fingers, making the common mistake of assuming he is straight.

"My name is Aaron Livesy, I'm here to see Jackson, Jackson Walsh".

"Just one moment sir" she said before getting up and walking through the door behind her desk.

Aaron waited a few moments impatiently, rubbing his hands over head comfortingly, wanting desperately just to see his face already!

The woman walked back behind her desk...but she was not alone.

2 stocky men were in now in tow.

"I'm sorry sir, Mr Walsh doesn't want you to come here, he has given us strict instructions for you to be refused entry to the building to see him, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

Aaron was stunned, if he was not leaning against a wall he could swear his knee's would give way.

This was a side to Jackson he never knew, but since the accident he had been experiencing more and more from him. But the things Jackson has been saying for months, were always pretty much never true, Aaron knew that, he knew he was just trying to give him a chance to run.

But the games he has been playing, Jackson never wins, because Aaron always came back...always.

And today would be no different.

Aaron turned his back on her, on the 2 security guards, and took large strides into the nursing home. He was going to see him, and he had no intention of letting him go.

"JACKSON!"