Posted 1 Mar 2011

A/N: I'm setting this a little more precisely in the shows' timelines. It is shortly after Castle's "Knockdown" and right before "Chuck vs. the Bank of Evil." In other words, Castle is really frustrated, Morgan is between homes, and Sarah isn't bridezilla yet.

"We've got something more important to talk about anyway." Morgan asserted as he pulled a chair across from them. Beckett smiled as she realized watching this Morgan bug Castle might be fun.

"We need to talk about this problem between the two of you. You know this unresolved, unspoken, yearning thing." Morgan flipped open the pad to a new page and crossed his legs. "Bob said to give us your full cooperation. So, talk to Dr. Morgan."

Beckett's smile dropped. "Wait! What!?"

"We're… We're… not together," Beckett stuttered.

Morgan rolled his eyes, "Of course you're not. We all know that. And we all know that is your problem… one we are going to solve tonight."

Casey crossed the room grumbling something about lady feelings. Collecting the shotgun and disassembled handgun from the NYPD officers, he found a neutral corner and set about cleaning and reassembling the weapons.

"Don't mind him. He's not really in touch with his feminine side. Cleaning weapons helps him find his Zen. So where were we? Oh yeah, you two. So for purposes of this intervention, I am Dr. Morgan and you are?"

Beckett looked mortified as Castle started nervously fidgeting. When Morgan realized he was not getting a response, he looked over his shoulder at Chuck and Sarah. They were both smiling in a devious manner as they leaned against each other across the room. Chuck offered an answer, "Sorry, buddy. I forgot you missed the introductions. She is Detective Katherine Beckett, the NYPD homicide detective with the highest closure rate in the city. And he is Richard Edgar Castle, formerly known as Richard Alexander Rodgers, writer of over twenty best-selling novels. You know… the ones with the cover art you like." Both Beckett and Castle were surprised with Chuck's knowledge. Why would Chuck know her closure rate or his real name?

"Right. Right. Alex got into those a few weeks ago and really liked them. She even read me the scene on page 105. Good stuff." Morgan gave Castle the double thumbs up. Pointing his pen at Beckett, "So that makes you Nikki Heat. May I just say the cover art does not do you justice?"

"I am not Nikki Heat!"

"I get it. You based Nikki on her, but made Nikki a little sluttier. That will make this a little harder. 'Nikki Heat'. Good stripper name by the way."

Becket huffed as Castle smiled.

Lanie, who had finally dropped her two-eyed dagger look at the Colonel, joined the conversation. "As much as all of us at the 12th think these two need an intervention, we don't need someone like you to come in and make things worse." Beckett whipped her head at her friend, dropping her mouth in shock. Ignoring the support out of this conversation, she couldn't believe what Lanie had said about everyone at the 12th.

"I understand. You need to know my qualifications. I present exhibit A, Charah." Morgan dramatically motioned to Chuck and Sarah. Chuck rolled his lips, obviously holding back a comment, while Sarah raised her hand a fraction too late, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Mock all you want. However, once I knew the real score with you two, how long did it take you to finally get together? Almost three years of unresolved feelings was reduced to mere days! And your situation was infinitely more complicated than theirs could possibly be.

"Also, I would point out exhibit B, myself. I am in a happy, committed relationship, which one could observe is probably the most dangerous one on the planet." This earned curious looks from Castle and Lanie. Beckett was still glaring at her friend. Morgan continued, "I am dating his daughter." Morgan pointed to the gun-cleaning Colonel in the corner.

"Wow. Ok, you've got me convinced. How can I help? I'm Lanie Parrish, by the way." Lanie asked.

Castle directed his own comment to Casey, "Your daughter is dating him. As a fellow father, I feel your pain." Casey only shrugged in response and continued his cleaning using the portable kit he must have been carrying with him.

"Well, my dear Dr. Lanie, I suspect our patients are going to be a little resistant. So maybe you can help me with the background when they refuse to cooperate."

"You've got my support."

"Lanie! Might I remind you, I have a boyfriend."

Morgan waved off this information. "That doesn't matter. Sarah did, too. As you can see, she is much happier now. It's about being with the right person. 'The heart wants what the heart wants.'"

Beckett's eyes widened at the Woody Allen quote, remembering when Castle had said the same thing to her, before the Hamptons disaster. Castle, however, straightened in his chair, suddenly more interested in what this little man had to say.

"First question: how long have you two been denying your feelings for each other?"

Castle's renewed interested faltered as he started to squirm. Beckett, on the other hand, looked pissed. When he realized an answer was not forthcoming, Morgan turned to ask, "Dr. Lanie?"

"Almost three years now."

"Really? What a coincidence. That is about the same time as it was for Chuck and Sarah, before things became real. These things can only carry on so long. Since you are not a couple right now, how would you classify your relationship?"

Best to act like nothing was going on, Beckett thought. Because nothing was. Right? "He follows me around and sometimes helps on cases."

"I thought we decided I was your partner."

"I remember you saying that, Castle. You're just like a loyal and trustworthy cocker spaniel that follows me around."

"I feel I've been useful in many of your cases."

"Of course, you've been helpful. I've told you that many times, but that—"

Morgan calmly interrupted, sensing the rising tension in the Detective's voice, "So you are saying he has been an asset to you when you try to solve your murders."

Beckett turned in surprise at Morgan. Wrapped up in her banter with Castle, she had almost forgotten he was there. That happened a lot when she was verbally sparring with Castle. "Of course."

"And I assume on some of these missions, I mean cases, you have saved each others' lives."

"It has been known to happen," Beckett admitted. Castle smiled proudly.

"I see. I see. Good. Most cases of unresolved sexual tension stem from communication problems. I assume that is not a problem for a writer. You're an open book. You've even written a fantasy of your first liaison and shared it with the world. So I assume the problem is with the detective." Beckett shrunk back in embarrassment as Morgan continued, "Don't worry about it. You can't be as bad as Sarah. Almost four years now, and we still don't know the last name on her birth certificate. Hmm. I know this book that can really help with the personal communication exercises—"

"No!" Chuck and Sarah both cried from across the room.

"You guys are right. That'd be getting ahead of ourselves. That book is better for couples that are already committed. I haven't even started on those questions with Alex, yet, because we are good, and I don't want to rush things. Well, except for a couple I used when she was sleeping."

"That might have been the one good thing about that book," Sarah said. "I was surprised that actually worked." Sarah linked her arm through Chuck's and squeezed.

Tapping his pen on his pad, Morgan sighed. "I guess the communication problem is up to you two. One of you will have to force the issue. Try to pick a time when a mission or murder or whatever will not interrupt. You know how that always works."

The doorbell rang.

"Great! The sizzling shrimp is here. That's a welcome interruption!"

"Morgan!" Chuck admonished. "We were supposed to be lying low."

Casey grunted in amusement. "Like you didn't order sizzling shrimp on our first stakeout. Don't worry. I'll get it." Casey cocked and holstered his gun.

Sarah extracted herself from Chuck. "I better go back him up." The two spies left the room.

Chuck continued his scolding. "I thought I told you. The Bamboo Dragon was a front for Triad."

"But didn't you take those guys out? We've continued ordering from there after the Night of Morgan disaster."

"Right, but only because I personally checked out the new staff in LA when you got me into the kitchen. We know nothing about their New York restaurant. I'm sure the food is fine, but that doesn't mean we want to invite them to our makeshift safe house."

"Sorry, Chuck. You know how I get at the thought of really big shrimp."

Chuck only shrugged in response because Morgan had a point. He was really hungry, too.

After a minute, Casey and Sarah returned with the food. They began distributing it as Morgan had ordered enough for everyone. No one wasted time before digging in.

"Wow! This is really good," Castle exclaimed.

"The whole bill was less than a hundred and twenty, including delivery and taxes. Don't worry, the CIA has the tab." Casey grunted at Morgan's comment.

"In this city?"

"What's the matter, Castle? Didn't know that not all good food is at five star, high priced restaurants?" Beckett teased.

"I just want to know if my loft is in their delivery radius."

"So where were we?" Morgan asked with a mouth full of noodles. Recovering his voice, "Oh yes. Exes. An important roadblock in any budding relationship. Look at me. I almost lost my girl because one of Sarah's bridesmaids came to town. Speaking of which… Sarah, are you absolutely sure it is wise to have Carina for a bridesmaid? She might be a no show if she is stuck on a mission."

"Knowing Carina, she'll parachute in to make it there on time. Or maybe she'll do that just to refocus the attention on her. But I want her there anyway. I'll see what I can do about finding her a suitable 'diversion.' Unfortunately, Casey is out because of the creepiness factor. Also, we don't want him handcuffed in his boxers someplace when the ceremony is about to start."

Casey missed the teasing jab the handcuffs because he we still trying to process why there would be a creepiness factor. Did she mean Morgan and Carina? He shook his head, dismissing that disturbing thought.

"Anything you could do, Sarah. Thanks. So. We know the beautiful detective here has a boyfriend, so we'll come back to her. What about you, Castle? Richard? Can I call you Rick?"

"I am currently unattached."

"That helps. Any evil exes lurking around?"

"I've been divorced twice."

"Ok. Are they evil?"

Beckett covered a smile as Castle shifted uncomfortably. He might not like the direction of this conversation so far, but maybe if he continued to play along he could get Beckett to open up. "I don't know about evil. My first ex, Meredith, gave me my beautiful, intelligent, and considerate daughter who is the center of my world. That said, Meredith can be a little crazy sometimes."

Lanie snorted. "You call her a deep fried Twinkie."

"Ah," Morgan nodded. "Tasty, but definitely evil. And your second ex-wife?"

"Gina. We recently tried to reconcile, but it just reminded me why we didn't work the first time. She's my publisher so I still have to work with her."

"She gets both alimony and publisher royalties. Sounds evil to me. Also sounds a little like Bryce."

"We never reconciled, Morgan." Sarah interrupted

Chuck replied, "Not for his lack of trying. His self-servicing advice did break us up after our first date."

"I know. And if I'd have known at the time, I would have killed him a second time. Or would that have been the third?"

Morgan cleared his throat. "For our New York friends who don't know the back story… Sarah has two evil exes and Chuck has three. It has proven to be a solid foundation for their relationship."

"Love is the foundation of our relationship. And I don't have three evil exes. There's only Jill."

"There's also meat smuggling Lou and stalker Hannah. You know Hannah is sort of your version of a deep fried Twinkie. Sweet like licorice, but evil. So, you see, Rick. Evil exes don't have to prevent future happiness. You even had an ex come back for seconds like Jill did with Chuck, Bryce did with Sarah, and my other ex, Anna, did with me. Sarah and I were smart and avoided temptation, but just like Chuck, your weakness does not have to be your downfall."

Castle was really wishing for his notepad. This unveiling soap opera was almost too much to follow.

"So, let me guess, Rick. Judging by the lovely brown hair of your partner, your exes are blondes… or redheads."

"One blonde and one redhead. How did you know?"

"It's like the mirror universe, but without the goatees. Evil exes have the opposite hair color from the one you truly want. My girl also has brown hair, while my exes have black and red hair. Chuck's evil exes are brunettes. Since your girl is a brunette—"

"I am not his girl. I have a boyfriend."

"You're not his girl yet. I thought you realized that's what this session is about. Please try to keep up. But I guess it is about time we get to your boyfriend. Maybe we should start with your exes first."

Beckett crossed her hands, tight-lipped. Morgan turned to the medical examiner. "Let me guess. She likes her coworkers."

Lanie smiled "Oh yeah. First there was FBI guy. Didn't stay in town because of work. He came back later, kind of like this Bryce character. Then he left again after he was shot. I don't think he's evil, though."

"Eh. Not all exes are evil. Technically, Bryce was not evil. They gave him a star at Langley after he died for good, the eighth or ninth time. However, he treated his best friend and his girlfriend like crap, so in my book that is evil. Maybe the FBI guy might be more like Cole. I'm told he wasn't evil-"

"I was never with Cole," Sarah interjected.

"—and I'm told he was shot a lot. Who's the next serious guy for the Detective? We should probably skip the distractions."

"Next was Demming, another cop," Lanie said.

"Someone else she works with. She likes dating the people she works with. That's great, because she obviously works with her partner."

"But her current guy is a doctor."

Castle couldn't refrain himself, "We like to call me Doctor Motorcycle Boy."

Beckett gritted through her teeth, "His name is Josh."

Morgan tapped his chin for a few seconds. "I see. MD. Motorcycles. A real All-American hero type. Gotta be careful about those. If they seem too good to be true, they are probably lying."

"Well, my Josh is the real deal. He helps treat those in need in Africa through Doctors Without Borders."

Morgan's eyes widened and Chuck immediate pulled out his tablet computer from the bag Sarah handed him.

"Last name?" Chuck asked.

"No. I am not letting you run a background check on my boyfriend."

"First, we're the CIA. We don't need much for probably cause. Casey's NSA, and they need even less. However, in this case we actually have it." Chuck's fingers worked quickly on the keyboard. "Don't worry about it. I've got him here. Not too many Joshes in DWB from New York. Look at that. His first trip was to the same region as Devon and Ellie. He was there the next week. It looks like he actually was called over to fill the gap they left."

"Any signs of him knowing Justin?" Sarah asked with concern.

"No. There was a one week gap, so no chance of contact. It's all just a strange coincidence."

"And nothing else?"

"No flashes. He looks clean"

Beckett was not happy, "Do you mind explaining?"

"Sorry, Detective. My sister and brother-in-law went to Africa last year for Doctors Without Borders. While there, my brother-in-law was deliberately infected with something that showed the symptoms of Malaria so they would be returned to the US. Then my sister was unknowingly contacted by a CIA double agent working against our government. Doctors Without Borders does good work, but considering they have a history of being used by enemy agents, we had to check out this Josh. We are holding two devices that terrorists would die to get their hands on, and your boyfriend is affiliated with a group that has been used by terrorists. We had to be safe. And no, Mr. Castle, you cannot use any of this in one of your stories."

Castle looked crushed.

Crisis non-existent, Morgan resumed his task. "So Josh appears to be a real hero, so far. Any chance you've arrested his first wife five years ago and he's trying to get revenge?"

Beckett looked at Morgan, confused. "No. He's never been married."

"Interesting how you are comparing him to your twice-divorced partner." Before she could protest. "Sister?"

"No."

"Mother or favorite aunt?"

"No."

Chuck spared the woman the verbal sparring. "Morgan, they don't need some dramatic showdown on a bridge in Paris to get together. Sarah and I made our choice long before then."

"Ah. Whiskey, ice cream, and guitar hero—"

"Before that," Sarah sweetly said. "Chuck just had to tell me what he wanted, and I was already his."

"Yeah, but these two aren't as verbal as you and Sarah are, Chuck." Beckett snorted, as Morgan continued, "Fine. As verbal as Chuck who says everything. For these two, he's literary, and she's a fan of what he writes. But if she didn't understand page 105, she's pretty thick, and they need more help. What got you over the hump, Chuck?"

"Ellie told me off. She's why I broke up with Hannah, too. She practically raised me, so when she told me to follow my heart, I had no choice but to go after Sarah. You picked a good maid of honor, honey." Chuck gave Sarah a peck on the lips.

"That could work. Rick. I need to talk to your mother. Maybe I can get you to listen to her. Is she still around?"

Beckett thought this might be entertaining, so she answered for Castle, "He lives with her."

"She lives with me."

"Nothing to be embarrassed about. I just moved out of Charah house in anticipation of the wedding, so I'm between homes and am living with my mother. Chuck, could you get me Richard Castle's home phone number?"

"It's unlisted," Castle said.

"We're the CIA," Chuck countered.

Lanie offered a suggestion, "Castle was raised in boarding schools, not by his mother. The mature voice he listens to is his daughter's."

Beckett shot Lanie a frightened look of concern while mouthing, 'traitor'. If Alexis gave her dad a push, he just might do something. That would be disastrous. Wouldn't it? She was still with Josh. Things were better with him now that he wasn't going to Haiti. He chose her over his work. Well, he was still working a lot, but he chose to do that close to her. She couldn't leave him now.

Yes, she had been closer to Castle lately than ever before. She completely trusted him and felt like she could talk to him about anything. Last week they almost died several times, but they survived all of it—together. He was by her side every step of the way. Supporting her. Comforting her. Saving her. Then there was the kiss. They still hadn't talked about that undercover kiss from a few weeks back. The diversion kiss that was way too much kiss and barely enough cover. If she wasn't in trouble before, she definitely was after that kiss. If Castle told her what he really felt, what she hoped he really felt, she wouldn't be able to deny her own feelings any more. Wait. What she hoped he felt? This whole "therapy session" had spun out of control.

"You are NOT talking to my daughter."

Beckett exhaled the breath she had been holding. Castle saved her again. This time from himself.

"Fine. We'll table that for now." Morgan thought for a few seconds. "I know!" He almost bounced from his chair. "Tell me about the first time you two kissed."

Lanie groaned in frustration. "Sorry, they haven't done that, yet. A good old fashioned kiss is just what they need to wake them up." She turned to give a disapproving look at the pair, but was surprised at what she saw. The detective and the writer were both quietly looking at their feet. "You have got to me kidding me! Girl! How long have to been holding out on me?"

A/N: Wow. I can't get these people to shut up. One chapter left.

*SPOILER FOR COUNTDOWN* (It's kind of too late.) I was hoping that by waiting I could make Beckett single in this story. Oh well. We have the kiss instead.