Overprotective
Chapter VII
There were now many more people on the deck. I kept frantically looking in every direction as I made my way to the other side of the ship. I needed to locate Adam and Clarissa. Perhaps they'd left already? I hoped they did. But men weren't allowed in boats. So I'd most likely find Adam somewhere around here. Then I'd try to find some way to get him off the ship.
I tried to find any thought to keep my mind off Spencer, but I couldn't. I couldn't help but think about how he'd be stuck down there and drown… It pained my heart. He was my friend, and I loved him like a friend. It took a lot to not run back down and find him.
"Meredith Lowe!" I turned to see Adam running towards me. And behind him was Clarissa, grasping his hand.
"Adam, Clarissa. Why didn't either of you leave yet?" I asked worriedly.
"I can't get her to leave me. The ship is sinking, Mer." Adam said.
"I've known ever since I spoke to Harold. We need to get both of you off the ship."
Clarissa looked horrified. "I won't leave without Adam, but they won't let him onto a boat."
"We'll find some way, Clarissa. Don't worry. You're in a condition. You need to get off safely." I tried to persuade her, but she just wasn't listening.
"No. I refuse to go anywhere without Adam." she grasped his hand tighter.
"Where's Spencer?" Adam asked.
I looked down. "He's down on E deck…"
"What?!" his eyes widened, "Why?!"
"Well, you see, we got very lost, and they're keeping the steerage passengers behind a gate down there. We got stuck and they only let me through. He couldn't come with me."
"So you left him?!" Adam cried.
"I didn't know what else to do! I didn't want to, but he begged me to go. He said he'd find a way out of it. But if he didn't, he wanted me to tell you he loves you and the rest of your family."
Adam shut his eyes, and then covered his face with both hands.
Clarissa placed her hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright, darling?"
"Yea… I'm fine." he said after a few moments.
"What are we going to do?" Clarissa asked.
"I have absolutely no idea." I replied. It was the truth. I had no idea where to go from here.
"I want to go find my brother." Adam stated, staring not at me, but through me, as in deep thought.
"No, you can't. You'll get stuck down there too and die." Clarissa reasoned, grabbing his arm.
"Come on." I gestured at them both to follow me. I went to a sailor and asked, "Where are the other boats?"
He was picking up a rope from the deck, "They've all gone, I'm afraid. There's perhaps one left all the way forward."
"Thank you." I grabbed Adam's arm and ran down the deck with my friends in tow.
The deck had a steeper tilt to it, and we hurried down towards the bow of the ship, and stopped as we saw water washing over the deck. We were able to see a boat that was in the water being swamped by frantic people and flooded by sea water.
"I don't think we'll be able to get into a boat at this point." Clarissa stated. Her eyes were wide as she stared at the rising water.
Adam grabbed both of our hands. "We need to find some way off this ship. Now." he dragged us back the way we came.
We stopped by the railing, and I looked over the side of the ship. It didn't look good. The green ocean was surging up over the wood, engulfing the ship.
"I think we're going to have to jump, Adam." I yelled to him, trying to be heard over the voices of more panicking passengers.
He nodded. "We're all going to have to jump as far out from the ship as possible. Then try to swim to a nearby lifeboat. It looks like our only choice at this moment."
Clarissa looked worried, so he grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly.
"The water is going to be freezing once you hit it. It's going to hurt, and it's going to be unbearable. Just please when you surface, try to find each other again and we'll swim to a boat. If you don't see anyone, swim to a boat anyway. You both understand me?"
Clarissa and I nodded. I swallowed nervously and looked down the side of the ship again. Adam climbed over the railing and carefully helped Clarissa over. Holding hands, they both jumped down and hit the water below with a splash. I waited for them to surface. I waited a long time… Perhaps they'd swam underneath the water and surfaced elsewhere? I had no idea. But now it was my turn.
I climbed over the cold white railing slowly and gripped the metal tight once I was on the other side facing out towards the black night. It was now or never. I took another glance to the water crawling up the deck and the people running up past me to the stern. I faced forward, closed my eyes, took a deep breath and jumped with all my might out towards the cold abyss. I felt like I fell for an eternity, but as soon as my body hit the water I couldn't think about anything else besides the stabbing cold. It was burning right through every inch of my body. I surfaced, gasping for air as soon as I came up.
I looked around, trying to find anybody I knew in the water, but all I could see was strangers splashing on every side of me. "Adam! Clarissa!" I screamed, looking for any sign of them. "Spencer! James!" I also yelled, desperately wishing to find one of them. "Harold!" I had to admit, I'd even take my brother's company at the moment. I didn't care. I just didn't want to be alone in this freezing hellhole.
A person jumped and landed about two feet away from me, splashing me with more freezing water. I decided to swim for a boat. I hadn't swam much. Only a bit as a child. I also had no lifebelt. I should have grabbed one before I left my room. Oh how stupid I was.
I paddled my way through the cold water to the edge of the crowd forming in the ocean. I could see a boat lingering around the area. I swam frantically to them.
"Oh, dear, here's another one." a woman stated, and I felt hands being reached out to me, and I was lifted up out of the water and found myself in the sanctity of the lifeboat.
A blanket was wrapped around my shoulders, but that didn't help much since my clothing was soaked entirely and clinging to my skin, keeping me frozen.
The boat picked up two more men after me, and then they rowed off, trying to get away before the ship finally foundered. I watched in horror as the lights on the ship flickered and burned out completely. The hull groaned under the stress, and suddenly boards snapped and steel tore. It was such a sickening sound, and despite it being so dark out, I could swear the entire ship had broken in half. I cringed at the sound, looking away from the silhouette of the once mighty Titanic.
I had the feeling of a knife being shoved into my heart as I remembered I had left Spencer down in steerage, and I'd lost Emma on E deck, and I had absolutely no idea where anybody else was.
The ocean claimed the Titanic, sucking the leviathan beneath the waves.
Hanging my head down, I suppressed a sob with no tears. I held my hand to my mouth, but I wished to scream or cry or do something. I had absolutely no way to deal with the feelings.
"Oh my God…" a woman said after a few moments. "It actually sank…"
"I left my husband on there!" another woman cried.
"Oh, shush now." a sailor ordered, "All your crying is getting on my nerves."
I heard a sniffle a few seats behind me, "I left my husband and two sons on board." a familiar voice muttered.
I turned to see Trina Welch wrapped in a large fur coat. "Oh, Miss Lowe!" she noticed my presence I the boat, "You were with my sons. Have you seen them? Where are they?"
"I don't know, ma'am." I replied, not wishing to tell her what I knew.
"But you must know something! Where are my boys?!"
"I know nothing, Mrs. Welch. I am sorry. I have not seen Spencer or Adam in a while. I'm sure they're fine though. Please do try to calm down and keep positive."
She settled down and stayed quiet in her seat.
That's when I noticed the wailing rising from the wreck site. Hundreds of people were behind in the water, dying, and crying out for help.
"We should go back." an older woman said from behind me.
"No, we can't!" Trina Welch yelled hysterically, "They'll swamp the boat!"
"The lady is right," the sailor in charge stated, "Those people will pull us right down and we'll only end up where they are now. It isn't worth it."
"But that might be my husband out there!' the older woman yelled out. "Can you actually sit here and ignore those screams?" she turned to Mrs. Welch, "Any one of those screams could belong to one of your sons," and then she turned to speak to everyone else, "They could be belong to any one of your husbands or friends. Are you really just going to stay here as they die?"
"Yes! Now shut your mouth!" the sailor snapped as he rubbed his hands together to keep warm.
A few minutes later, a few of the boats nearby floated closer to ours. "Oi! Boats 10, 4, 12, and collapsible D, drift closer together!" a familiar voice called, "We're going to tie up these boats to one another." I looked to a boat rowing towards the little cluster and I saw Harold shouting commands to his sailors.
We found some rope stored under the seats in our lifeboat, as did the other boats, and we used it to tie them all tightly together.
Harold shone a flashlight towards the grouping. "Right, listen to me, men. We have to go back. I want to transfer all the women from this boat into that boat, as quick as you can. Make some space over there. Move forward and aft." he kept shouting out directions.
Women were being moved from his boat one by one and distributed between the others.
One woman was moving quickly and he feared she may fall or trip while switching boats. "Not too quickly madam." he said and pulled on her scarf. The scarf came off and the woman turned around quickly to face him. Then it was obvious that this was not a woman. This was a man pretending to be one. "How dare you! Get in there!" Harold yelled and pushed the man into the boat beside mine.
Once his lifeboat was empty except for himself his few crewmen, he commanded with a strong voice of leadership, "I need some men to come with me to search for survivors. Who's up for it?" he looked around, searching the faces. "You, you, you, and you." he pointed to a few random sailors, "You'll be coming with me."
As those men were switching into his boat, I decided to stand up. "Harold!" I called, and he turned quickly towards me.
"Meredith? Oh, thank God, you're alright!" he attempted to smile, but failed.
"Harold, I'll go with you."
"No, you will do no such thing. It's not safe for you."
"I'm twenty-one years old, Harry. I can decide for myself what's safe and what's not. I want- no, need to go back." I hoped I'd be able to save any of my friends who might be left behind.
"Merry, sit down. You're staying in that boat, and that's final." He barked at me.
I sat down and crossed my arms. How dare he tell me what to do.
Soon he and the other men rowed off, and it was silent in the cluster of boats he left behind.
How could I have left Spencer behind? He was most likely dead now because I didn't fight him hard enough to attempt to come with me. And the worst part about it was, his mother was sitting a few seats away wondering where her sons are, and I know. I just wouldn't dare tell her. I never saw Adam or Clarissa surface after they jumped. For all I knew, they could be dead. I was hoping they made it to a boat. I should think positive for now. Worrying will get me nowhere.
I looked over at Mrs. Welch. Her face was extremely pale, and she looked expressionless. But I could somehow sense the worry in her. I shared the same worry.
The moans from the wreck site continued for at least another half hour until they died out entirely. I heard a few calls in the night, which I assumed to have been my brother's voice looking for survivors.
The four boats tied together drifted for what seemed like hours. People in my boat were quiet, trying to grasp the situation.
"This man that was pulled from the water," a young woman beside me said softly, "he seems to have died…"
I looked over to see a pale, lifeless body on the girl's shoulder, and she had a shawl wrapped around his shoulders, which didn't seem to have helped him.
Two men shifted their seats and came over to lift up the man. "We'll throw him overboard to make more room. His body will be picked up with the others."
I turned my head away. I couldn't bear the sight of the dead man.
The air was bitterly cold. My nose lost all feeling in it, as had basically every part of my body. My clothing was still soaked, and I was shaking uncontrollably.
"Miss, are you alright?" a sailor asked me.
"Y-yes." I stuttered.
"Here, take my coat." he took off his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders over the blanket. I was too freezing to decline.
"Thank you."
We drifted longer in the darkness, silently waiting.
"Look! Over there!" one lady stood up in the boat, "A light! It's a boat!"
"No, it's not. Sit down." a sailor commented irritably while hunched over and shivering.
"She's right! It's a ship!" somebody else in the boat beside us exclaimed. I looked towards the light and could make out a faint shape of an ocean liner in the lightening distance. I was too numb to become too excited over it, but the idea of rescue not being far off warmed me slightly. Although I still felt like falling asleep, I knew I couldn't. Being in damp clothing in this weather could cause me to freeze and succumb to hypothermia.
As the sun gradually rose and spread it's light over the sea, the other lifeboats came into view.
"Is that a group of men on a funnel?" somebody pointed, and we all looked to see about thirty men all floating on some sort of object.
"Do you need help?!" the sailor in our boat asked.
"Yes!" came the reply, "Come take us off of this!"
We cut the four boats loose, and ours along with one other went to help them.
We pulled up beside them to find the men were all standing atop an overturned lifeboat. A few carefully climbed into our boat, but most went to the other.
I turned my head to looked down, but then I looked back. Did I just see… No, it couldn't have been… I thought I'd just seen Spencer, but I must be mistaken. I didn't see him now.
Our lifeboat then started towards the ship ahead. I could make out the name Carpathia on the side. We approached slowly, and after waiting for a long time, it was our boat's turn to be rescued. Our lifeboat pulled along side of the ship.
"What lifeboat is this?" a man on the deck yelled.
"Number four, sir!" answered a sailor.
One by one the occupants climbed the ladder. The weak and the injured, and a few children were lifted up in a sack. When my turn came, I grasped the rope ladder with both hands and slowly began to climb. It felt unreal, but so relieving to be so close to food and warmth. As soon as I reached the top, two men helped me over the railing and steadied me on the deck. It felt like ages since I'd stood on a solid deck. The coat and blankets were removed from my shoulders and a warm dry one replaced them, and a warm mug of tea was placed in my hands. I went to go sit down on a bench on deck, and I sipped the tea slowly, letting the warmth fill me up.
"Miss Lowe, have you seen my sons anywhere?" Mrs. Welch rushed to me.
"No, I have not. I've only just gotten aboard, Ma'am, as have you." I answered.
She sat on the bench beside me and looked straight ahead. "The last time I saw my son Adam, I was horrible to him… I spoke the truth, but now I worry I should have just bit my tongue. I'll have to apologize to him when he comes aboard, and to that girl. Although I still will not accept her into my family."
"Ma'am, pardon me, but shouldn't you care more about the fact that she makes your son the happiest he's ever been? Shouldn't that be all that matters?"
"People dream of that, but in our society, Miss Lowe, it is an impossibility."
I took another sip of my tea. I thought it best not to argue with her right now. I didn't have the strength to. She sat with me awhile, keeping me company. More survivors boarded. I saw many familiar faces, as different as they appeared. Everybody looked disheveled and tired, but it wasn't as if I'd expected them to all arrive looking as thought they were going to meet the Queen.
I finished my tea and put the mug down beside me. I had no idea what to do next. No idea where to go, or how to act. I looked up at the last few survivors climbing the ladder, and then I saw a familiar face. But it couldn't be…
"Spencer!" Mrs. Welch yelled and ran over to the man I had just been looking at. He looked up at the sound of his name and his mother embraced him.
He was alive. I hadn't been mistaken when I thought I'd seen him. I approached him and Mrs. Welch.
"Spencer, dear, I'm so glad you're alive." Mrs. Welch finally let him go, "Have you seen your brother anywhere?"
"No, mother, I haven't. I'm sure he's around here somewhere." he answered.
"Alright, I'm going to see if I can track down anybody who may know Adam's whereabouts." she hurried off.
"Hello, Spence." I greeted softly.
He smiled slightly at me, and I returned the grin.
I threw my arms around him, which surprised him and myself.
He laughed and wrapped his arms around my back. "Well you seem happy to see me for once."
I pulled away, "I thought you had died."
He raised up his arms and then dropped them back down to his side, then turned around completely, coming back to face me. "I'm pretty certain I'm still alive.
"And I couldn't be anymore grateful. How did you get out of the mob on E deck? The gates were locked."
"They finally let us all go up and I rushed to the boat deck just in time to see people fiddling around with one of those collapsible boats. It was upside down on the deck, and I tried to help them with it, until a wave rolled over the deck and washed all of us and the boat into the ocean. I climbed onto the overturned boat and there we all stood all night until two other boats came to take us off. I'm freezing."
I took the blanket off my shoulders and handed it to him. "I can go get myself another one. Take this."
Normally I'm sure he would have made me keep it, but he was just to cold now that he couldn't help but accept my gesture.
"So did you get that child onto a lifeboat?"
"Yes, I did. I gave her to James and he put her in a boat. Then I went off to find your brother."
"Did you find him?"
"Yes, and Clarissa. We all jumped off the side of the ship together, in order to swim to the lifeboats. I haven't seen them since." I wasn't going to tell him that I hadn't witnessed either of them surface. I didn't want to cause him to be alarmed.
"I'm sure we'll find him around here somewhere. Probably in the dining room stuffing his face." he laughed, as did I.
He led me inside where we found a stewardess distributing blankets. I took one. "The water was freezing last night." I commented to him.
"I know." he grabbed the blanket from my hands and wrapped it around me. "You should probably get out of those clothes somehow. They must be soaked and freezing."
"They are." My dress was still damp and sticking to my skin.
"Meredith!" I turned to see Aunt Gwen approach me. Her hair was falling out of it's bun from underneath her hat.
"Hello, Aunt Gwen." I greeted, and she placed her hands on my shoulders and examined my face.
"You're alright, aren't you? Not hurt at all? Dear me, my brother George would kill me if I allowed any harm to befall his daughter."
"I'm fine. Believe me. How about yourself? You make it off alright?"
"Yes, I got into an early boat. Oh, but how dreadful that all was. Such a large ship, filled with so many fine things. Gone."
"Aunt Gwen, there's a lot more than just fine things gone. Did you even take notice of how many people were still aboard in the end? There's got to be hundreds of casualties."
She was silent.
"What's going to happen now? Do you think they'll be taking us to New York?" Spencer asked.
"Hopefully. I have a gala to attend next weekend, and I have to go shopping for a new outfit before."
I just stared at her. She didn't seem to get it.
"Oh, and Meredith, I already spoke to a first class woman I've met before. Mrs. Hoplin. She is going to move into her daughter's room and give us hers. And, Mr. Welch, I saw your mother and already told her that I was able to secure a stateroom for you all as well. It's room A-65.
"Thank you, ma'am."
Aunt Gwen went to go sit down in a chair, and Spencer and I followed. "Did Iris survive?" I asked, inquiring about the fate of her maid.
"Oh, yes. She is resting now. I gave her time off until we make it to land."
A man came over to us, "Excuse me, may I take your names? Full names please."
"Gwendolyn Mildred Quinley." Aunt Gwen responded.
Then me, "Meredith Wynne Lowe."
"Spencer Lucas Welch."
"Thank you kindly." The man wrote down our names and left.
"I'm going to go find Trina, to go see if she'd like to join me for some tea. I'm dreadfully cold." Aunt Gwen said, and walked off.
Spencer offered me his arm, and I took it as we proceeded to promenade down out of the large dining room which was now being set up with bedding, and we walked down a few hallways in silence.
"Anything you wish to talk about?" he asked.
I shook my head. "Not really. I don't even know what to say. What happened last night almost doesn't feel real…"
He nodded, and we continued our silent walk. I felt comfort just from the fact that I wasn't alone.
I wondered where Adam was, and Clarissa, James, and Emma. I hadn't seen any of them yet. I wasn't too worried about James, because I was certain he'd made it onto a boat. He'd find me eventually. It was the other three who I had no idea about the fate of, and this thought was gnawing at me inside. Although after the sinking, I was too shocked to really think straight.
We ran into my aunt again. "Hello again, Mrs. Quinley." Spencer greeted politely.
"Hello. You- Your mother needs to see you. She's in room A-65 right now." she instructed, and Spencer looked to me.
"I'll see you later, Mer." he then walked off in search of his mother.
Aunt Gwen and I began to walk.
"So what was that all about?" I asked.
"Nothing, Meredith. I'll explain it later."
If it was truly nothing, then what was there to explain? I could see the worry etched into her face. "Aunt Gwen, please tell me."
She paused, and remained silent, staring at my pleading face for at least a full minute before sighing. "Mrs. Welch has lost a son." Aunt Gwen explained.
"What? That can't be… Spencer- Oh God." I covered my mouth. "Adam." I rushed out of the room and down the hall to find the room where Spencer and his mother told me they'd be.
I knocked on the door frantically until Spencer opened it. His eyes were shining with fresh tears, and his mother was in the corner sobbing uncontrollably.
"So… It's true…" I said softly, and Spencer nodded.
I collapsed into his arms. "This can't be happening. It can't be."
"Well it is happening…" he then got very quiet.
The only sound in the room was that of Trina Welch's sobs.
"What is Clarissa going to do now? She'll be heartbroken." I cried into his shoulder.
"Meredith…" he began, "Clarissa didn't make it either…" he sniffled and furiously wiped a tear with the back of his hand.
"No… She can't be dead, Spence!" I cried, and then whispered, "She was pregnant, for God's sake."
He covered his face with his hands and I could hear another sob. His mother started to cry harder in her chair in the corner.
I slumped into another chair in the room, and felt a tear fall from my eye and roll down my cheek. Adam and Clarissa were gone, and I was possibly the last person to see them alive. I should have done something to help them… Even though I couldn't find a reason to blame myself, I still did. I too began to sob along with Spencer and his mother. I couldn't imagine how this whole nightmare could get any worse.
I'm sorry this took a while. I was sick, and there was some stuff going on, but I finally got this up. Chapter 8 will be up soon. Yea... So Adam and Clarissa are gone, and no word yet on Emma or James. What will happen? You'll have to keep reading to find out. Thank you for reading. Please review. Love, Kell.