Chapter 6
I was only with my parents for a week and a half that summer. As fate would have it they had been asked to attend a dentists retreat in Spain for most of July and part of August. They were going to make it a sort of second honeymoon. They asked if I minded but I quickly told them that it was fine, the Weasley's had asked me to come stay with them anyway. My mother gave me a knowing smile, but they made their plans, and I wrote to Ron and told him how soon I was going to be coming to his house. He wrote back and was very happy. I arrived at the Weasley's on a Saturday and everyone came out to hug me. Ginny, Ron, and I took my things up to Ginny's room and I began to get unpacked, Ron sat on the edge of Ginny's bed talking with me some, but mostly watching and grinning. Finally Ginny told him to get out, that he could see me when I was done unpacking. He glared at her but then got up and walked out of the room, telling me to come upstairs when I was done. As soon as he left Ginny rolled her eyes and smiled at me.
"Honestly I have no clue why you two aren't dating yet… he's so disgustingly smitten with you." She said.
I giggled and told her that we just hadn't gotten around to it yet. She turned to me and gave me a withering look, I smiled and she came over to me, she pulled me down to sit on the bed next to her and then she put a hand on my shoulder as she spoke.
"Hermione… you gave me some really good advice last summer about Harry. Now I'm with Dean and Harry is my friend and I'm really happy, so I'm going to return the favor. Ron is completely daft, I have no clue what you see in him, but the fact of the matter is, if you want him, you're going to have to do something about it. Cuz he won't, he's too stubborn and thick headed." said Ginny with a grin.
I sat there and pondered her words for a moment, and then I told her I'd have to think about that. I had a feeling she was right, but I wasn't one hundred percent sure how to act on it. After I had unpacked I went up to Ron's room, I asked Ginny if she wanted to come along but she just smirked and told me she was pretty sure Ron didn't want her coming along. I blushed slightly and headed up the stairs. When I got to Ron's room I knocked and he said to come in. He was sprawled out on his bed reading a Quidditch magazine, when he saw me he sat up to make room for me. I felt slightly shy so when I walked in I only shut the door half way. I sat down on the bed facing him and he smiled at me, and said hello. He asked me how my time with my parents was and then we began talking about Harry. Ron said he was coming in two days. He told me Dumbledore was bringing him after they went on some sort of mission. I asked him if he knew what it was about and Ron said no, he said that Dumbledore hadn't told them anything. I told him I figured it was probably about the prophesy. I expressed that I was very concerned about Harry, not only because of the prophesy but also because of Sirius's death. We hadn't heard much from him since the end of the term. Ron said he was worried too, but he thought we probably shouldn't get ourselves too worked up until we saw how he was first hand. I agreed with him and then he asked me what I wanted to do for the rest of the day. I told him I had just gotten a new book, and he rolled his eyes and said of course. I ran and got my book and by the time I got back to his room he was already engrossed in his Quidditch magazine again. I took a seat next to him and opened my book, we sat there in silence reading for quite awhile. Then I casually reached up and began to play with his hair as I read, he smiled and shifted his weight so he was closer to me. After a few very enjoyable moments Ginny came bouncing into the room, I quickly pulled my hand away from Ron's hair and we both jumped apart like we had been shocked. She grinned at us and told us it was time for lunch.
The next morning I went down to breakfast in my pajamas, I had woken up and was about to get dressed when Ginny told me that I had been around long enough that my ratty pajama pants and t-shirt were acceptable breakfast attire. As we went down the stairs we heard unfamiliar voices. When we walked into the kitchen we were met with a surprise. Bill, the oldest Weasley brother, was standing there with none other than Fleur Delacour. Ron was sitting at the table staring at her with his eyes slightly unfocused, he looked like he was about to start drooling at any second. I was instantly annoyed at him, and I also wished I had put on something a little nicer before coming down to breakfast. Mrs. Weasley informed us that Bill had just announced that he and Fleur had gotten engaged, and Fleur was going to be staying for a few days to get to know the family. I sat down next to Ron at the table but he didn't even acknowledge my presence, by the time breakfast was over I wasn't speaking to him. I spent most of the rest of the day with Ginny, and we commiserated with each other about how annoying Fleur was. I knew that Ron really couldn't help himself in some respects, Fleur was part veela and Ron was particularly prone to their powers, but at the same time I thought having feelings for me would somehow make him less susceptible. That night before I went to bed there was a knock on the door, Ron poked his head in and asked if he could talk to me. I went out into the hall with him, and asked him what he wanted.
"Look…" he said sheepishly as he stared at his feet, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the Fleur thing, I'm not meaning to do it, she just catches me off guard, it's really hard to resist."
"Well try Ron…" I said testily, and then I turned and went back into Ginny's room leaving him looking sulky.
When we woke up the next day and went to breakfast Mrs. Weasley informed us that Harry had arrived early that morning and was asleep in Fred and George's old room. Ron made a point of sitting next to me at breakfast and trying his best to ignore Fleur. I appreciated the effort, but I was still annoyed at him. Around ten o'clock we decided to go up and see if Harry was awake. We found that he was and went in to see him. We sat down and talked with him about what he had done with Dumbledore. He said Dumbledore had asked for his help when bringing in a new teacher and that he was going to be taking private lessons with him. We were just about to ask him what the lessons might be when Ginny trumped into the room grumpily, and from the look on her face I knew who was close behind. Fleur came flying into the room, and of course the boys melted into piles of mush. Harry wasn't quite as bad as Ron, but I was thoroughly annoyed at both of them. Just then Mrs. Weasley brought Harry his breakfast and when she left she told Ginny she had to come help make lunch. Ginny slumped off grumbling that Mrs. Weasley just didn't want to be alone with "phlegm" as she was now calling Fleur. Harry laughed appreciatively as she left. We went back to talking with Harry and after a bit he told us about the prophesy. Apparently the prophesy had been told directly to Dumbledore, so after it got smashed, Dumbledore let Harry use the Pensive to see the prophesy. It had said neither Harry nor Voldemort could live while the other survived, so Harry would have to kill Voldemort. I was horrified, I couldn't believe my friend could have such a dark fate. Yet I knew that no matter what happened we would stand by Harry, and he honestly didn't seem as worried about it as Ron and I did. Then I accidentally lightened the mood. I was playing with a telescope that had been lying in one of the boxes in the room, and it punched me in the eye! The boys valiantly tried to not laugh at the black eye that it gave me, and they suggested we go down to the kitchen to see if Mrs. Weasley could fix it. We were about to head down when Harry mentioned that Dumbledore told him our O. were arriving that day. Suddenly my black eye was the least of my worries. I ran down the stairs with them right behind and stood in the kitchen panicking. Ron kept telling me to calm down but I couldn't, I was so sure that I had failed everything. Mrs. Weasley looked at my eye and told me she couldn't get rid of the bruise, I had to wait for Fred and George to look at it. This didn't improve my mood any. Just then three owls arrived with our grades, and I was positively beside myself, Ron irritatedly told me to get a grip. I opened my letter and was instantly relieved and disappointed. I had gotten all O's except for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Ron came over and grabbed my grades to look at them, he congratulated me and then gave me an exasperated smile as he teased me about being disappointed with an E in Defense Against the Dark Arts.
The rest of the summer was very enjoyable, we spent most of our days playing four person Quidditch in the orchard, I was horrible at Quidditch but they paired me with Harry who was spectacular so usually was pretty even. Ginny had become quite a staple in our days, she spent almost the whole summer with us. I loved having her around it felt like she completed our little group. Ron was, of course, treating me with much less affection now that Harry was around, but at the same time having Ginny seemed to make things less awkward, we didn't feel like Harry was the third wheel anymore. The last week of break we all went to Diagon Alley for our school supplies. Hagrid came with us as our guard, because as wonderful as the summer had been, things were readily becoming more dangerous. There were disappearances and mysterious accidents happening more and more frequently. I was worried about my parents, but Ron kept assuring me that as long as they weren't associating with me they would be no bigger target than any other random Muggles. This calmed my fear but not by much. We had a run in with Draco Malfoy when we went into the shop for new robes, and then Harry saw him again when we were in Fred and Georges new joke shop that they had just opened. Harry quickly told us to get under the cloak and follow him. Draco was sneaking around alone and Harry had a feeling he was up to no good. We followed him and sure enough he went to Knockturn Alley, one of the most unpleasant sections of Diagon Alley. He went into Borgin and Burkes, a shop known for selling Dark artifacts. We used Extendable Ears to hear that he was asking the shop owner to keep something on hold for him because he had the other half of a pair and he needed to fix it, then he left. Harry was desperate to find out what he had bought so I slipped out from under the shop and went in to inquire about prices, I though maybe if I looked around enough the man would tell me something wasn't for sale because it was put on hold. When this didn't work and I could tell he was getting suspicious I made up a lame story about Draco being my friend and trying to buy him a birthday present so I needed to know what he had already bought. The man yelled at me to get out and I ran for it. When I got back to Harry and Ron, Ron made a comment about me being obvious and I snapped at him that if he thought he could so better he should have gone himself. This got us bickering all the way back to the joke shop where we slipped in quietly so we could tell Mrs. Weasley we'd been there all along.
The last few days of break Harry was very lost in his own thoughts. Ron and I also thought that Malfoy's behavior was fishy, but it didn't seem to out of character for him. Suddenly the day we were going back to school Harry got it in his head that Malfoy had replaced his father as a Death Eater. Neither Ron nor I thought this was very likely, but there was no convincing Harry. He seemed to just get more annoyed with us so we dropped the topic. The next day when we got to King's Cross there was a band of Auror's dressed in Muggle suits waiting to escort us through the barrier. The level of formality was a little off putting. Harry asked us if we wanted to find a compartment, and I apologetically reminded him that Ron and I had to go to the prefect's cabin and then patrol the corridors. He looked slightly down heartened but then turned to follow Ginny towards a train car. I smirked, I knew Ginny had a boyfriend, but she and Harry had been getting along famously that summer, I couldn't help but wonder. Ron and I got on the train and made our way to the prefect's cabin. The Head Boy and Girl gave us the assignment of what train car we were to patrol, there was a compartment on that car that was reserved for us and we were supposed to stay there in case there was any trouble and patrol the corridors every half hour for twenty minutes. Ron and I found our compartment and dropped our stuff off. I sat down and began reading a book, Ron watched out the window for awhile, and then rummaged through his bag for his Chess set. He asked me if I wanted to play because it was no fun by yourself. I said alright and we played a few matches before taking our first patrol down the hall. It was strange to be so obviously alone with Ron in public, even though we were on prefect duty for the school, it felt like we were on display for everyone to see. We went back to our compartment and spent the rest of the afternoon doing random things while intermittently going on patrol. It was getting dark by the time we got into the products Ron had purchased from his brothers joke shop. We were playing with a bunch of joke boxes which are sort of like jack-in-the-boxes, but the most hilarious things pop out of them. I was laughing so hard I doubled over, when I finally got myself calmed down I looked back up and Ron who was till grinning. My hair was in my face because I had been laughing so hard, but before I could reach to move it, Ron took his hand and gently tucked it behind my ear. He let his fingers brush along my jaw line as he took his hand away, which made butterflies erupt in my stomach. I said thanks, and he smiled and said no problem. We held each others gaze, but then the cool voice came on and told us to put our robes on because we were nearing Hogwarts. We both smiled and got up to do so, then we left the compartment to supervise everyone getting off the train. We looked around for Harry as we got off the train but he was no where to be found. We jumped in a carriage with Neville and Luna and asked them if they'd seen Harry. Neville said he'd seen him at the party Slughorn had thrown on the train but then he had said he had to do something and ditched them. On the way into the castle I caught up with Ginny and asked her she gave me the same response, she saw him at the party, but then he disappeared. I was beginning to panic as we sat down for the feast. He didn't show up for the Sorting, or Dumbledore's opening speech. Then just as the food was about to appear he quickly sat down next to Ron and I, he was covered in blood and I quickly asked him what happened. He told me we'd talk about it later, so I dropped it. I had to help the first years get to the dorm after dinner so I went with them. Ron was supposed to help me but he stayed to hear Harry's story, I was slightly annoyed with him about it so when I was done showing the first years where to go, I went straight to bed without saying goodnight to either of them. Harry told me what had happened the next day, he had snuck into Draco's compartment to eavesdrop and Draco had caught him, he had frozen him and broken his nose and then left him on the train. Tonks had found him. Harry was very interested that Draco had been telling the compartment he had been given a special mission, but both Ron and I thought that had more to d with him wanting to show off for his new girlfriend Pansy Parkinson than anything really significant. Once again this just seemed to annoy Harry, but he dropped the subject. We had breakfast and then were cleared for all our classes. I rushed off to Ancient Runes and by the time I met the boys for Defense Against the Dark Arts and hour later I was already feeling stressed. The class was being taught by Snape that year, a fact that Harry and Ron absolutely hated, but I had resigned myself to. Snape gave us a lecture on the Dark Arts and then had us practice nonverbal spells. I got it down in ten minutes and was very proud of myself, until Snape pointedly ignored my success, by the time we left the classroom Harry had earned himself a detention for spouting his mouth off at Snape, and both boys were grumbling about him furiously. Just then Harry got a note from Dumbledore telling him their first lesson would be on Saturday. We spent the rest of our break discussing what exciting things Dumbledore might teach him. I left them for Arithmancy. We had lunch and then worked on the essay Snape assigned us. That afternoon we had Potions. When we got there Slughorn, the new Potions master, had made three potions. He asked if we knew what they were and I knew every one. The first was Veritaserum, the second was Polyjuice Potion, and the third was Amortentia. The third one fascinated me, it was the most powerful love potion in the world. Slughorn looked at me with a very impressed face and then asked me it's properties. I told him it was identified by it's pearly sheen, and spiraling smoke circles. I told him it was supposed to smell different for each person. I told him to me it smelled like fresh cut grass, new parchment—and then I stopped short. I felt myself blush, and I looked down at my book. The reason I hadn't finished the thought was because the other two things I smelled in the potion were treacle tarts, and a woodsy smell of pine needles. The first was Ron's favorite dessert, the second was what I smelled whenever I was close to him, I assumed it was the smell of his soap. Slughorn saved me a moment later when he asked me what my name was, I told him and he asked me if I was related to some Granger at the Ministry. I told him I was a Muggle born, and he smiled. He turned to Harry and asked him if I was the girl he was speaking of when he told him one of his best friends was a Muggle born and the smartest girl in his year. Harry said yes, and I looked at him in admiration. I gasped a thank you to him, and from my other side Ron grumpily said that he would have said the same thing if someone had asked because I was the best in the year. I smiled and shushed him so I could hear Slughorn's lecture, but I put my hand on his knee under the table and squeezed it, he looked slightly mollified. Just then Ernie Macmillan pointed to a smaller cauldron I hadn't noticed on Slughorn's desk. He asked what was in that, and Slughorn said it was Felix Felicis. I couldn't contain my gasp, and he looked back at me with an amused but impressed smile. He asked if I knew what it was and I told him it was liquid luck. He happily said that I was right again! He then told us one small bottle of Felix Felicis was the prize for the lesson. I worked as hard as possible, but it was a very complicated potion. The other thing that was annoying me was that the used copy Harry had gotten from the store cupboard had been revised by it's previous owner, and he was getting better results than me. In the end he won the Felix and I was slightly sore at him for it, but he and Ron said that there was nothing wrong with what he did, and I was just mad because I didn't win. Which was partly true.
The next few weeks went by very quickly. We had more homework than I could ever remember having, and our lessons were getting harder and harder. On top of it all, Hagrid was refusing to speak with us because we dropped Care of Magical Creatures. One morning we decided after Quidditch try outs, that we would go talk to Hagrid. I went with the boys down to the field to cheer on Ron. Harry had been made Captain that year so he would be making all the decisions. I was nervous for Ron because I knew Harry would have to be completely unbiased, and I was worried Ron would choke under the pressure. I sat in the stands and watched, it ended up being a bit of a mess. It seemed like half the House tried out, because now that everyone knew Voldemort was back Harry had become an instant celebrity. After a few Hufflepuff's showed up Harry yelled at everyone that only Gryffindor's could come to the Gryffindor tryouts. The Keeper was picked last. The first few people were horrible but then a boy named Cormac McLaggen tried out and he was very good, when he had saved four out of five goals I made a split decision and Confunded him quietly so he missed the fourth one. Now all Ron had to do was save five goals and he would be Keeper. I felt slightly guilty but as Ron walked onto the pitch, I knew it was worth it. As Ron was mounting his broom I heard someone from behind me shouted good luck to him. I turned to see it was Lavender Brown, I glared at her and she met my eyes and gave me annoyed look before turning back to Ron. She had been turning up wherever Ron was for the past few weeks and laughing at everything he said. She had never paid Ron any attention before that year, and I had to admit her sudden interest was making me rather protective. I thought it might be time that I was a bit more forward about things with Ron, or I had a sneaking suspicion that Lavender might be. Ron saved all five shots, and I ran out on the Quidditch pitch as soon as he was done telling him how wonderful he'd been and he grinned from ear to ear at me. The three of us walked towards Hagrid's together, and as Ron said that he had no clue what had gotten into McLaggen on his last shot I felt the color rising in my face. Harry shot me a glance but I looked away quickly. We went and visited Hagrid and he was very angry with us, but we soon found out that what was really bothering him, was that his pet Acromantula, was dying. We tried to be sympathetic, even though we though the large spider was hideous. By the time we left him, he seemed to be feeling better. When we went up to the castle for dinner we were starving, Slughorn stopped Harry and I and invited us to a party that night. Harry couldn't go because of detention, and I really didn't want to go alone, but I couldn't see anyway out of it. Slughorn had acted as if Ron did not exist the whole time he spoke to us, and he had not been invited to the party. This put him in a bad mood for the rest of the evening, and when Harry finally snapped at him that we had not WANTED to be invited, and it wasn't our fault, he trumped off to bed early grumbling the whole way, and I was forced to spend my evening listening to Slughorn prattle on about all his famous friends.
In the middle of October there was a trip to Hogsmeade, and Ron, Harry and I went together. It ended up being a rather unpleasant affair. First of all we ran into Mundungus Fletcher, on of the more seedy members of the Order of the Phoenix and it looked as though he had been stealing Sirius's things and selling them. This of course set Harry off and I was terrified that he would kill him before Mundungus got away. When we finally got Harry calmed down again we suggested we just go back to the school, because it was a miserably cold day. As we were walking up the road we saw Katie Bell and a friend of hers in front of us. They seemed to be having an argument over a package, suddenly Katie rose in the air magically. She began to scream and as we ran to her she fell into Ron and Harry's arms, they put her on the ground where she continued to writhe and scream. Harry told us to wait and he would get help. He came back a few moments later with Hagrid. Hagrid picked up Katie and I tried to comfort her hysteric friend as we walked back up to the castle. We found that the package had a cursed necklace in it that we had seen in Borgin and Burkes over the summer. McGonagall questioned us, and we told her what had happened. Then to my horror, Harry told her he thought it was Draco Malfoy who had done it! I thought his obsession was getting a bit out of hand. He told her about what we had heard at Borgin and Burkes over the summer, but when I tried to point out that whatever he bought was big enough that he couldn't carry it down the street he snapped at me. I was about to snap back but McGonagall cut me off. She told him she couldn't punish anyone without proof, and further more she knew it wasn't Malfoy because he had been in detention with her. I knew this wouldn't quell Harry's rising obsession but there wasn't much I could do. As I suspected as soon as we left Harry started coming up with who could have been helping Malfoy. Ron and I exchanged exasperated looks, but there was just no stopping him. Harry's lessons with Dumbledore continued, he told us all about them and they seemed fascinating, Dumbledore was taking Harry into various people's memories to show him the story of Voldemort's life, and some of the things Harry was seeing sounded fascinating. It was mid-October as he was telling us about his latest lesson in Herbology class. Harry changed the subject to Slughorn's latest party and I told him it had actually been quite fun, that Slughorn had introduced us to Gwenog Jones, the captain of the Hollyhead Harpies. This, of course, put Ron in a bad mood, because Slughorn was still treating him like he didn't exist. As we began our work I mentioned to Harry that Slughorn had planned a Christmas party, and Harry wouldn't be able to get out of it because Slughorn had checked his schedule to make sure he did it on a day Harry was free. Ron snippily asked if it was just party for Slughorn's favorites and when I said yes, he snapped that I should hook up with McLaggen, so we could be crowned King and Queen Slug. I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe. I knew once I said what I was about to say that there was no going back. I felt the color rising in my face as I answered him I told him we were allowed to bring guests and I was going to ask him, but if he thought it was that stupid then I wouldn't even bother. He looked up from what he was doing at me with an expression like someone had just hit him over the head with a Bludger.
"You were going to ask me?" he said quietly.
I told him that yes I was, but if he'd rather I just hooked up with McLaggen… I trailed off angrily but I held his gaze. He was looking at me in a way he never had before, all the defenses were down, all the pretenses were out of the way, this was just me and Ron and exactly how we felt about each other. He softly said that he didn't want me to hook up with McLaggen, we held each others gaze for another moment, and then suddenly a loud crash brought us back to reality. Harry had accidentally broken the bowl we were supposed to be putting pods in. I instantly felt guilty for having forgotten Harry's presence, and we went back to the lesson as if nothing had happened. The next few days Ron and I seemed to almost regress in the way we treated each other. I think it might have been because Harry was now fully aware of how Ron and I felt about each other, and I could tell that he was watching to see how it would affect the dynamic of the three of us. Therefore Ron and I were somehow more formal with each other than usual. I didn't see the boys much in the evenings because they had Quidditch practice. Something Ron was starting to dread, because he kept feeling like he was failing miserably. I kept trying to cheer him up but it never really worked. Therefore I wasn't surprised when he came into the Common Room looking sulky one night after Quidditch practice. What did surprise me is that he grumpily blew me off and stalked up to the dormitory. His mood didn't not improve the next day, it worsened, he seemed to be being intentionally unfriendly towards me, and I had no clue what I had done. By the end of the week I was down right furious with him. On Saturday morning, before the first Quidditch match he was miserable, I went to cheer him up at breakfast, and as I was attempting to talk to him, I saw Harry tip something into Ron's juice and then hand it to him. I knew it was the liquid luck, and I was appalled at Harry, Slughorn had specifically told us it was illegal to use it at sporting events. I told Ron not to drink it and yelled at Harry, but Ron ignored me and snapped at me, and Harry ignored me as well. Just as I had suspected the game went perfectly, Ron saved every goal, and the Slytherin team was even missing two of it's players. After the game I went to the locker room and reprimanded Harry, I told him he shouldn't have done that. Ron thought it was hilarious, but then Harry told us that he didn't do it, that he just pretended to in order to give Ron extra confidence. Ron rounded and me and viciously snapped at me that he couldn't believe I'd say he needed luck to be a good Keeper, and then he stormed off. I was so hurt that I didn't know what to do anymore. Harry said he was going up to the party in the Common Room, I was barely holding back tears as I told him to go without me because I was sick of Ron. He left me but he looked very uncomfortable. I walked slowly back up to the castle on my own, I was feeling so angry and hurt I wasn't sure what to do. Then suddenly I had a burst of resolve, I was going to go find Ron and demand to know what his problem was, we'd fight it out and then we'd either be together or we wouldn't but it would be over either way. I marched up to the Gryffindor Common Room and through the portrait hole. I will never forget what I saw in that moment. Ron was there, he was standing in the middle of the room wrapped around Lavender Brown in the middle of such a fierce snog that it was hard to tell who was who. I felt like someone had stabbed a hot blade through my stomach, I turned and ran out of the room as quickly as I could. I found the nearest empty classroom and ran in, I felt like everything inside me would explode I wanted to scream, yell, throw the desk across the room. How could he do this to me? How could he? I settled for shooting a stream of yellow birds out of my wand with such force that they pelted off the windows and then began flying around the room. I slumped onto the teacher's desk and sat there numbly. A moment later Harry came in, he tried to talk to me but he didn't know what to say. Just then Ron decided to walk through the door with Lavender. I hated him so much in that moment that I wanted to kill him. I settled for walking out of the room and sicking my birds on him to peck him to death. As I walked out I completely ignored Lavender and as soon as I turned the corner, and was out of sight I began to run. I wasn't even sure were I was going I was just running and crying. Suddenly there were arms around me and I stopped. I heard Ginny's voice in my ear and I collapsed into her arms, hugging her and bawling. She gently led me back to the Gryffindor Tower, she took me to her dormitory and sat down on her bed with me. She held me for what felt like hours and just let me cry. I kept saying 'why' over and over again, to which her only response was, "I don't know… he's a horrible lousy git." Ginny let me stay the night with her that night, because I couldn't go back to the dormitory and face Lavender. It was almost two in the morning before I finally cried myself to sleep.
The next few weeks seemed to fly by and drag on at the same time. I had so much work to do that I tended to keep myself occupied, and tried to ignore the aching hole that had formed in my chest. I was never in the Common Room anymore, I haunted the library, sometimes I would even fall asleep there and Madam Pince would have to kick me out. My only solace was that Harry would come and visit me almost every evening, I was very glad to still have him, but he couldn't fill the hole. Not to mention the fact that between the Half Blood Prince's Potions book, and his obsession with Draco Malfoy, he was becoming rather irksome, but I wasn't going to complain, he was the only best friend I had left. I only had a few days left before Slughorn's party, and I decided what would really make me feel best was to invite the boy that would annoy Ron the most. I didn't know why but I decided that it was going to be all or nothing, and Ron had decided it was nothing, and I was going to make him feel it. After my Arithmancy class I walked up to Cormac McLaggen and asked him if he'd like to go to the party with me he brightly said yes, and I told him to meet me at eight. I felt slightly bad for using him, but also rather glad that Ron would hate it. In Charms class things simply got worse, Ron managed to give himself a handle bar mustache which I laughed at vindictively, and he retaliated by doing a malicious imitation of me raising my hand to answer a question. I felt the hole in my heart burn as though someone had ripped it open again, and my eyes filled with tears. As soon as the bell rang I ran out of the room without stopping to pick up my things, I would not give Ron the satisfaction of seeing me cry. I made it to the girls bathroom before I broke down. I was almost on the verge of hyperventilating when I felt someone touch my shoulder; it turned out to be Luna. She patted me encouragingly on the shoulder and asked me if I was going to be ok before she left. I pulled myself together and then headed down to lunch. Harry was with Ron, so I sat a little ways away by myself. A few moments later Lavender and Parvati showed up and I put my plan into action. I walked down and began to talk with Parvati about the party. She asked me who I was going with and I told her McLaggen. She asked if we were dating and I said yes, this was of course I lie, but I thought the more I bugged Ron the better. Sure enough suddenly he was not as interested in eating Lavender's face, and much more interested in our conversation. She commented how I did like Quidditch players, going from Krum to McLaggen. I informed her I only dated good Quidditch players, and then I walked away feeling more satisfied then I had in over three weeks. If I wasn't going to have love, then by god I was going to have war.
The party ended up being the biggest mistake ever. Cormac was not much of a gentleman, and I put up with his prattling on about himself until he somehow managed to get me under the mistletoe and I had to wrestle my way away from him. I ran off into the crowd under the pretense of having to use the bathroom. I found Harry and Luna, who he had brought on a friend date, and talked with them for a bit before I saw Cormac coming and I ran off again. I decided to just leave, I went back to my room and tried to read but I couldn't get through more than two pages without crying. Nothing I seemed to do would fill the hole in my heart. I went home for Christmas the next day, my parents were very happy that I was staying for the whole break. My Mum asked me why I wasn't going to the Weasley's and I told her simply that I hadn't been invited, thankfully she didn't press the matter, but I could tell from the way she looked at me that she might have some idea of what was going on. By the time I got back from Christmas my heartbreak had been replaced by something new, bitterness. While it was not much better, it was something I could cope with I helped me feel more like myself. I saw Ron and Harry as I walked towards the portrait hole, I asked Harry how Christmas was and Ron was the one who immediately tried to answer me, it made me feel very satisfied to completely ignore him. He seemed rather put out and when we walked into the Common Room he almost made as if he was going to come sit with us just like always, but then Lavender attacked him and he went off with her. Harry and I took a booth by the window, and he began to tell me about an incident that had happened right after Slughorn's party. Apparently Harry had overheard Snape offering to help Malfoy with his plan. I pointed out that Snape was probably just trying to make Malfoy trust him, and Harry said that's what Mr. Weasley and Lupin had said as well, but he pointed out that it did prove that Malfoy was up to something, and I couldn't disagree with him on that. I began to find a new routine that was not particularly enjoyable, but it was all together livable, and that was all I needed at that moment. I was completely ignoring the existence of Ron Weasley, as far as I was concerned he was once again that annoying red headed boy. Harry was now my closest friend and a few weeks later he confided some very interesting news to me, he said Dumbledore had given him an assignment, To retrieve a memory from Horace Slughorn about Horcruxes. I looked through every book I could think of, but I couldn't find a single word on them, which I though was curious. A few weeks later was the first Apparation lesson. Once a wizard is seventeen they can use magic, and also learn to Apparate. No one was successful in the first lesson, but the instructor told us that was usual. As I was leaving I heard Ron telling Harry he thought he'd felt some tingling in his feet and I snipped that his trainers were probably just too small and then walked away. I felt a bit of vindictive pleasure as a saw the slightly hurt look on his face.
I woke up on March first feeling strangely empty. It was Ron's seventeenth birthday. We had on many occasions talked together about the things he wanted to do on his seventeenth birthday. Now he would be doing them with Lavender. I quickly pushed away the pain that was creeping back into my chest, and began working on my Arithmancy homework. I didn't really feel like eating. Around ten o'clock Ginny came flying into the dormitory the moment I saw her face I knew something was wrong. She gasped that Ron had been hurt, she didn't know how badly and he was in the hospital wing. I jumped up and we both took off running. When we got to the hospital wing Harry was outside. I asked him what had happened, and he said Ron had been poisoned. Luckily they were in Slughorn's office at the time so Harry had stuffed a bezoar in his throat which cured the poison, but he wasn't sure if he had gotten to him in time. We waited outside the hospital wing all day for them to let us in to see him. Harry and Ginny had a long discussion about how in the world Ron was poisoned. I was silent, there were questions running on a reel in my head over and over again. Why was I here? Why did I care? Why couldn't I let him go? Why wasn't Lavender here? Who did he truly want to be sitting next to him when he woke up? Finally around dusk, Madam Pomfrey told us we could come in, she also told us that he was going to be fine. I felt relief wash through my body, but the familiar hole was also back, just because he was fine didn't mean anything was fixed between us. We went to Ron's bedside and soon his twin brothers joined us, the conversation went back to how in the world Ron got poisoned, but my focus was on the boy sleeping in front of me. My emotions were scalding my insides like boiling water, I didn't want to be so drawn to him, I didn't want to feel so protective of him, I didn't want to love him. At this last thought my brain suddenly froze, I felt everything inside me go numb with shock at my own thought. I loved him… suddenly everything inside me was screaming. This was so unfair!! Here I was trying to convince myself to get past him, and I realize I love him, I was so furious with myself I didn't know what to do. Then suddenly Ron began muttering in his sleep he muttered something that sounded like, 'er-my-nee' and my heart skipped a beat. That was my name, he was calling out for me. I was so bitterly frustrated I couldn't even think, this whole situation was just too unfair. I finally distracted myself, by forcing myself to join the conversation. George had just proposed that someone was trying to bump off the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and I stated that I didn't think that was true but I did see a correlation. Both attacks had been meant to be fatal and weren't, and both had not reached the person they were intended for. I pointed out that this made the attacker even more dangerous because they didn't care how many people they hurt along the way. Just then Mr. and Mrs. Weasley showed up, and Madam Pomfrey informed us that Ron now had too many guests. Harry, Hagrid and I left Ron with his family and Harry and I went back to Gryffindor Tower. I went up to bed that night thinking a lot, I finally resigned myself to the fact that I couldn't cut Ron out of my life, but I was going to force myself love him in the way I loved Harry, as a brother and a friend.
Ron had to stay in the hospital wing for over a week, but I went to visit him often. He seemed genuinely happy to see me, and I hadn't realized just how much I had missed him. I worked very hard to keep things casual and friendly between us, but for the most part it seemed to be going pretty well. About a week later Ginny wandered into the library where I was working, and plopped down with me. She gave me a knowing smile.
"So you've been visiting Ron a lot lately." She said.
"Yes that's because we're trying to be friends again…" I said briskly.
Ginny gave me a very serious look and then leaned towards me.
"Hermione I'm going to ask you a few questions. Do you promise to answer them honestly?" she said.
"Yes of course I do." I replied.
"What's Ron's middle name, and why does he like it so much?" said Ginny.
"Bilius… and he likes it because he's named after your great Uncle Bilius who was the family nutter, and his favorite uncle." I said quietly.
"Why are the Chudely Cannons his favorite Quidditch team?" said Ginny.
"Because they're the underdogs but they never give up, and he feels like he's the same way." I answered again, looking down at my book. I felt my heart aching, and I wondered why Ginny was doing this to me.
"Last one…" said Ginny, "What color are Ron's eyes?"
"Grey-blue" I whispered, and a tear leaked out the corner of my eye, I felt Ginny put a gentle hand on my shoulder.
"I heard Lavender reciting a get well poem she wrote for Ron today. And the third line is, 'you're sparkling green eyes melt my heart', Hermione… she's all wrong for him, and he knows it." She said softly. "Harry told me yesterday that he's been pretending to sleep whenever she shows up, and he wants to break up with her he just doesn't know how."
I felt something inside my heart stirring but I ignored it, there was no way I was going back there again. I quickly changed the subject.
"When were you and Harry talking about this?" I said giving her a quizzical look.
"He's been feeling really annoyed with Lavender and McLaggen and he's been overly stressed and he needed to vent." said Ginny with a smile.
"To you?" I said raising my eyebrows, "is Dean ok with that?"
"Dunno…" said Ginny dismissively, "But Dean and I have been on rocky ground for awhile now, I'm not sure how much longer it's going to last…"
The next few weeks passed without many incidents. There was a Quidditch match in which Harry ended up in the hospital with a cracked skull, and Ginny and Dean ended up in a huge fight because Dean made fun of Harry. The fight seemed to make Harry all too cheerful, which confirmed my suspicions about what might be going on under the surface there. Despite what Ginny had said, Ron did not break up with Lavender, so Ron and I began to slowly ease back into our friendship, it was still somewhat awkward, and slightly painful on my part, but I knew that would lessen with time. A few weeks later I found out that Harry had been using Kreacher and Dobby the house elves to spy on Draco. We found out Draco was disappearing into the room of requirement, and Harry was determined to find out what he was doing. I pointed out he wasn't going to be able to get in if he didn't know where Draco was, because that's the way the room worked, but he didn't listen. I was getting very aggravated with him, he was spending all his time obsessing over Malfoy and he hadn't done anything towards getting the memory from Slughorn. He had tried once and then given up. By the time Spring was ending Ron's situation with Lavender was getting ridiculous, he would hide behind me every time a girl would walk by until I could assure him it wasn't her. Then one day we got a letter from Hagrid asking us to come down to his cabin for the funeral of his giant spider that night. I was completely exasperated, how could Hagrid want us to come down for that?? To risk going onto the grounds… I simply told the boys there was no way we could do it. I asked Harry if he was going to try to approach Slughorn again, and he said yes, he added maybe he'd be lucky that time. Suddenly Ron had a stroke of pure genius; he said Harry should use his luck potion! Somehow I knew he was right, and that it would work. Harry told us if he wasn't successful in talking to Slughorn that afternoon he would use the Potion. Ron and I went to the village to take our Apparation test, I was very nervous, but in the end I passed. I was so excited that I threw my arms around Ron and hugged him without thinking. He hugged me back enthusiastically but I pulled away very quickly. Then he took his test, I thought he had passed but then the examiner said he had left half an eyebrow behind. I felt very bad for him as he came back looking thoroughly disappointed, I patted his arm as we walked back towards the school and told him it was ok. As I made to move my hand back he gently brushed it with his and I quickly pulled it away and put it in my pocket. I saw a look of frustration cross his face, but I was not giving in. He was with Lavender, and even if he wasn't I didn't know if my heart would be able to give him a second chance. That night Harry had not been successful in getting Slughorn's memory so the three of us snuck up to the boy's dormitory and Harry took the potion. A look of complete peace came over his face and he stated he was going to Hagrid's. Ron and I looked at him in alarm and told him he had to go see Slughorn, but he told us that somehow he knew he needed to go see Hagrid. We looked at him in like he was crazy, but he just smiled and said to trust him, that the Felix knew what it was doing. He threw on his Invisibility Cloak, and ran down the stairs and Ron and I followed. The second we got to the foot of the stairs Lavender saw us and shrieked at Ron asking him what he was doing up there with me. I instantly realized that with Harry under the Cloak it looked like Ron and I had been in his room alone together.
"Don't leave me!!" Ron desperately whispered, as I made a move for the portrait hole.
"This is your battle Ron, I'll be in library when it's over." I said quickly and I made a dash for the door as Lavender advanced on him. On my way out I saw Ginny and Dean having a blazing row of their own just inside the portrait hole and I smirked, maybe Harry's liquid luck worked even better than I'd dreamed it could. I went to the library and began to read Hogwarts a History for the millionth time, but I was barely even seeing the words. About forty five minutes later Ron came in and slumped down next to me. He looked rather dazed.
"She just kept yelling and yelling…" he said.
"Did she break up with you?" I asked and he nodded. I swallowed hard before I continued.
"Are you upset?" I said, he looked into my eyes, and slowly shook his head.
I nodded in understanding, and then I got up and told him I was going to bed. He said my name, almost tentatively like it was a question. I turned back to him and simply said, 'not yet Ron'. Then I turned and left. The next day in Charms class Harry explained all about Horcruxes, apparently they were pieces of a persons soul that they split apart by murdering someone else, and then sealed in objects. It helped make the person immortal but at a terrible price. Apparently Voldemort had made six of them, and Dumbledore wanted Harry's help finding and destroying them. Ron and I were speechless. I told Harry that Ginny and Dean had broken up, and I could see the familiar hopefulness in his eyes. I smirked slightly. Over the next few weeks it became painfully obvious to me what was brewing between Harry and Ginny. They would walk into the Common Room together after every Quidditch Practice, and whenever we were doing homework it would take Harry twice as long because he'd spend half his time staring at her. Then one night something terrible happened, Harry came into the Common Room looking positively morose. Ron had informed Ginny and I that he had run up to him in the hall covered in blood and asked to borrow his Potions book and then run off again. Harry informed us that what had happened was that he had used a spell he'd learned from the Prince's Potion book on Malfoy and it had slashed him open and almost killed him. I was completely horrified, but he went on to say that Malfoy was fine, though Harry had been banned from playing in the last Quidditch game of the season. I tried to tell him it served him right for using that book, but Ginny snapped at me, I was offended so I snapped back and we stopped talking. The match actually turned out just fine, Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup even without Harry and then there was a huge party. Harry showed up a few minutes late because of his detention, and when he got there Ginny walked right up to him and planted a huge kiss on him. I was thrilled and actual let out a little squeal of happiness. Ron seemed in shock, but he gave Harry a nod of approval and Harry grinned as he and Ginny walked back out of the portrait hole hand in hand. Ron and I took up seats on the couch to enjoy the party, I began reading a book after awhile because I wasn't much of the party type. Ron began to casually rub his thumb along the edge of my hand and I pulled it away from him. He looked at me with a sad almost pleading look but I simply shook my head and went back to reading. A moment later he said he was going to bed, I looked up at him and he did not look angry at me, he looked sad and frustrated. He said goodnight, and I could still see the pleading in his eyes. I felt myself soften as I said goodnight back to him. The rest of the term seemed to fly by, we didn't see much of Harry anymore because what little free time he did have was taken by Ginny. Towards the middle of June we were all sitting in the Common Room when Harry got a letter saying he had a meeting with Dumbledore. He set off quickly to meet him. He came back shortly looking very worried. I asked him what was wrong but he rushed past me into to the boy's dormitories. When he came back down he explained everything very quickly. He said he was going with Dumbledore on a mission to get one of the Horcruxes. He also told us that he knew Draco was going to make his move that night, because Professor Trelawney had heard him celebrating in the Room of Requirement and with Dumbledore gone, it would be the perfect moment. He told us we had to try and stop him. Then he gave us the last of his liquid luck, he told us to split it between us and Ginny and then he asked us to say goodbye to her for him, and then he was gone. I sat there in shock and fear, I didn't know if Harry would even come back from such a mission, and he left us with a very dangerous task. We had no clue what might be coming. I looked at Ron with wide eyes, and told him we had to find Ginny. He was looking at me with a hard expression and to my surprise, he said no. I gave him a questioning look, but he grabbed me by the arm and drug me across the Common Room and up the stairs to his dormitory where he shut the door. I asked him what in the world he was doing, and he looked at me very determinedly and told me that we needed to talk.
"Ron… I can't do this right now…" I told him, the emotions were already building inside me.
"Hermione… it has to be now… what if something happens tonight? I have to know…" he said.
"Know what…" I said slowly, I was afraid to hear the answer.
"Hermione…" he began, "Words can never explain how stupid I have been this year. If I live to be one hundred years old I doubt if I'll do anything in else in my life I regret as much as I regret this year. I was an idiot because I was afraid. I was afraid of how you make me feel…" he came close to me as he said this.
"Ron please don't…" I whispered, my heart was aching and I knew my resolve wouldn't hold much longer.
"Hermione… you are the only girl who had ever understood me, you're the only person who has ever made me feel like I was something special just as me. When I wasn't speaking to you I felt like part of me was missing…" he said softly.
Without warning Ron fell on his knees, I looked at him in shock I had not been expecting him to literally beg.
"You are the only girl for me. I know that now. I want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my whole life. If you can't take me back I'll understand that, it's what I deserve. But I want you to know, that if it's not you, it's not going to be anyone. I swear I'll be a single bloke my whole life, and I'll accept that fate. Because there's no one for me but you."
I held my breath, as I looked into those beautiful grey-blue eyes I could see that he meant every word, and I felt my heart melting. Waves of emotion that I'd been holding at bay washed through me and tears filled my eyes.
"Get up here so I can hug you, you twit!" I said, and he stood up immediately and gathered me into his arms.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him fiercely I entwined my fingers in his hair and buried my face in his shoulder. I had missed him, the smell and feel of him. He nestled his head on my neck and whispered 'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.' into my ear over and over again. He ran his hand through my hair gently, and I cried on his shoulder. Eventually I stopped crying and pulled back to look at him. I kept my arms around his neck and he kept his firmly around my waist. I felt like I was finally where I belonged.
"So is that a yes…you'll have me?" he said with a slight smile.
"Yes…" I whispered, and he gently wiped a tear from my cheek. Just then Ginny burst into the room.
"Oh… sorry I thought you were up here with Harry." She said with a smirk.
She made to leave but we stopped her quickly. We explained to her where Harry had gone and I made sure to tell her that he had asked us to say goodbye to her. She looked scared, but also determined. She pulled out her Dumbledore's Army coin which she had kept and tapped her wand on it. This would call all other Dumbledore's Army members to us. We went to wait in the main hall because we thought that would be the easiest place for everyone to find us. As we walked down the stairs I slipped my hand into Ron's and he entwined his fingers with mine. Ginny gave us a slightly quizzical look, but she kept walking. We waited for a half hour and the only people who showed up were Neville and Luna. I really wanted more back up, but Ron pointed out that we couldn't wait too long. I finally agreed and we set our plan into motion. Ron, Ginny, and Neville would be going to guard the Room of Requirement, and Luna and I would be going to guard Snape's office, just for good measure. I desperately did not want to be separated from Ron, but he pointed out that Harry would want one of us at each place, and I knew he was right. He gave me a fierce hug before going up the stairs with Ginny, and Neville. Luna and I made our way down to the dungeons and we waited. We sat outside Snape's office for almost two hours before anything happened. Then suddenly we began to hear loud bangs and scuffles from the floors above us, I looked at Luna in fear, and I moment later Professor Flitwick came flying down the stairs, and ran into Snape's office we heard him tell Snape that he needed to come right away, and then suddenly there was a crash. Snape came running out the door and told us that Flitwick had collapsed, and we should help him to the hospital wing. We hurried to help him, and then we ran back for the stairs. By the time we got to the Entrance Hall the Death Eaters were on the run, they were headed for Hagrid. I screamed in horror as they attacked Hagrid who had come out of his house, and then they set his house on fire. I was about to run after them, when arms enveloped me. I heard Ron's voice in my ear, he told me to calm down, that Hagrid's giant blood would protect him. I looked again and saw he was right, the spells were bouncing off of him. A few moments later someone was helping Hagrid put out his house, and the Death Eaters were gone. I turned back to Ron and put my hands on each side of his face, he was all right. Yet there was something in his eyes that told me something was wrong. I asked him and he said we needed to go to the hospital wing, his brother Bill had been attacked by the werewolf Greyback. We walked slowly up the stairs, and sat down in the hospital wing. Bill didn't look like himself anymore his face was slashed to bits. No one said anything for a few moments, and then Harry and Ginny came in hand in hand. I ran to Harry and threw my arms around him, I was so happy that he was safe. Then he told us something that changed my life forever, he said Dumbledore was dead, and that Snape had killed him. I felt everything inside me go numb, this was the end of everything that I held as normal and I knew it. I gasped that it was my fault, I had let Snape just run past me… but Lupin quickly told me that it was not my fault. He pointed out that if I hadn't let him go, then I would probably be dead myself. The conversation carried on but I barely heard it… the fear that had been growing in me was now in the front of my mind. It was as if Dumbledore had been our security blanket, without him, the evil was real, and it was inescapable. McGonagall took Harry from the room to question him, because he was the only witness of Dumbledore's death. We sat there for a few more minutes and then Mrs. Weasley told us we should go to bed. We all agreed and we headed towards the door of the hospital wing, as we were walking out Ron once again took my hand, and I saw Mrs. Weasley do a double take. Maybe I was just imagining it, but I thought I saw a hint of a smile play on her lips. When we got back to Gryffindor Common Room it was deserted, Ginny bid us goodnight, and headed up stairs. Ron and I stood there together for what seemed like hours, not saying a word. He took my other hand in his as well and put his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes and just relished his presence, with all the fear and horror and sadness that was coursing through my body, it was mind boggling to me how much I needed him. He slipped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. I laid my head on his chest and he just held me. Finally he whispered that I should try to get some sleep. I told him I didn't think I could, but he just squeezed me tighter and then told me to try. I looked up at him and he leaned down, for a second my heart skipped a beat, but then he softly kissed my forehead. The feeling of his lips on my skin was far too perfect. I reluctantly pulled away from him, and went up to bed. I fell asleep that night with a jumbled mix of every emotion possible flowing through me.
The days flew by, all the classes had been cancelled, as we as exams. Harry, Ginny, Ron, and I spent all our free time together. It was a horribly bittersweet feeling to know this should have been a happy time, the four of us finally two couples, but it wasn't, we felt like we were barely hanging on. The morning after Dumbledore's death Harry had shown me what he and Dumbledore had retrieved. It ended up being a fake Horcrux with a note in it from someone named RAB, who had taken the real one, but try as I might, I couldn't find anything on someone named RAB in the library that fit the description. The last day of school was Dumbledore's funeral. I remember it like it was yesterday, as they lay his body on the stone slab and it was magically enclosed in marble, it finally sunk in all the way that he was gone. The tears came in a steady flow and I felt sobs welling up inside me. Ron wrapped his arms around me and pulled me onto his shoulder where I cried. I felt something wet on the top of my head and realized that Ron was crying too, and I held him tighter. I heard Ginny and Harry talking next to us, but I didn't register what they were saying. After a few minutes I got composure and looked up at Ron, I brushed the tears off his face and looked at him meaningfully. He told me we'd better go find Harry. I looked around and realized both Harry and Ginny were gone. Ginny had moved over with Fred and George who seemed to be comforting her, and Harry was walking by himself down by the lake. Ron and I quickly walked down the hill towards him. He looked so empty, almost as though I didn't recognize him. He informed us that he wasn't coming back to Hogwarts the next year, he had to go find the rest of the Horcruxes, because that's what Dumbledore had asked him to do, and then he had to kill Voldemort, and end it all. Ron immediately told him that we were coming with him. Harry said no but I jumped in. I told him that we had our chances to walk away and we hadn't which meant no matter what happened we were sticking with him. I couldn't believe what I had just committed to, I was leaving school, to go on a dangerous mission that I might not come back from alive, but at the same time I knew in my heart that I had no other choice. I would always be wherever Ron and Harry were because that was my fate.