Chapter 5.
Raven was unaccustomed to driving Robin's motorcycle. She had therefore ridden very slowly back to the tower. After Annie's passing Starfire had suggested they take Robin home, as he hadn't said a word and appeared to be in shock. Starfire had flown him back while Raven had tackled getting the bike back in one piece.
In retrospect, she could have attempted levitating the thing or even teleporting it, but as raw as her emotion were right now she doubted she'd be able to have that much control over her powers.
Raven walked into the living room where she found Starfire looking over at Robin worriedly. "How is he?"
"He hasn't moved from the window since we returned. All he does is stare out at the ocean." Starfire said quietly. "I don't know what to do."
Raven nodded and walked over to Robin to see what kind of mess his head was probably in. Through the link between the two of them she could tell his emotions were a turbulent torrent threatening to destroy his heart and mind. On the surface however he was his usual stoic self.
Raven walked up and placed her hand on his shoulder to make him turn to look at her. "You might fool everyone else, and even Starfire, but I know what you're feeling."
Robin's face contorted as he began to loose the last shred of control he had over his features. Annoyance gave way to anger and finally he broke like a dam holding back a tidal wave too strong to be kept at bay. Robin dropped to his knees, wrapping his arms around Raven's waist and burying his face into her stomach.
Raven held onto him and rocked him as uncontrollable sobs spilled from him as he wept bitterly. Raven pulled him away only long enough to tear his mask from his face so his tears could flow freely.
Robin howled. It was a more terrible sound than nearly any that had been heard in the tower. Robin screamed in a primal howl that was all he had to express the rawest form of his impotent fury and grief. Raven wanted to hold her ears to hold out the terrible sound of his tragic pain, but instead she embraced it and held him close as he sobbed and gave vent to his pain into her waiting arms.
"Batman was right; sometimes there are no happy endings." Robin wailed.
Raven held him and pulled his face up to look at her. "There can be Robin, if you're strong enough to look for it. Annie chose her own path, and was happy with her decision. We have to respect what she felt she had to do."
Robin's sobbing started to subside as he struggled to regain control of his normally stoic demeanor, but Raven could still feel his pain and pulled him close tightly. "Don't… Don't stop grieving for her. You won't be helping yourself and she deserves your mourning. She deserves to know how much you care." Raven said urgently.
This seemed to release whatever more reservations Robin had and he collapsed once again letting the pain letting the pain drip free from his heart with every tear. Raven lost track of how long she stood there comforting her love in her arms as she watched the sun set. Her muscles ached, but in the end she managed to hold Robin until the tears subsided and he passed out from exhaustion in her arms.
"We should put him to bed." Raven heard Starfire whisper into her ear from behind, trying not to disturb Robin's time of grief.
Raven nodded and the two girls gently lifted the boy to his feet. He was so exhausted from his exertions and his spent emotions he barely had the energy to move his legs, let alone walk.
Starfire looped one arm across her shoulders and Raven took the other arm and the two of them began to carry him through the halls to his room. Raven walked along staring at the boy she was helping to carry, and wondering how he was going to be in the morning.
When Starfire stopped, it didn't register to Raven where she was until they set Robin down on the bed. "Starfire, this is my room!" Raven said whispering urgently.
"I know. I'll be right back." Starfire whispered as she zipped from the room silently. Raven didn't know how silent they really needed to be seeing as Robin was asleep on her bed and fairly unconscious.
Starfire returned a moment later with Robin's pajamas. "He'll need these to sleep in."
"You can't be serious about him sleeping in here. It's not exactly the most soothing room in the tower." Raven said incredulously.
"It is not the room that he needs to soothe him." Starfire said sadly as she put her hand on Raven's shoulder. "He needs you right now."
Raven stood there stunned as Starfire handed her the pajamas before lifting Robin up so they could change him for bed. The two of them stripped him to his boxers and put his pajamas on him before settling him under the thick blankets of Raven's bed.
Raven turned to Starfire aghast as her own shock at what Starfire was suggesting started to wear off. "What do I do?"
"Just what you've already been doing." Starfire said sadly. "Hold him, comfort him, and remind him that we're here for him."
"Star, I don't know if I can do this alone. What happened in the living room was the heat of the moment. This is… horizontal." Raven said stupidly. "Why don't you stay with us, like that time in Freeze's lair."
Starfire just shook her head and turned to leave. "I can't. I can't stand to see him this way. I can't handle my own emotions enough to help him with his own. He needs you right now Raven. I'll talk to you in the morning."
With that, Starfire was gone and Raven was left alone with a sleeping boy who was emotionally vulnerable in her bed. Raven was sure she wouldn't be returning either. Whatever happened tonight in this room Starfire had left between her Robin and these four walls.
Raven looked at Robin sleeping. He was so handsome when he let his face relax and stopped trying to be so serious all the time. Raven wondered if that was one of the parts that Starfire found attractive.
Raven gathered her own pajamas and went into her bathroom to change. This was totally different from keeping Robin from freezing to death. This was her making a conscious decision to sleep with the boy she loved because he needed someone to hold. Raven looked at herself in the mirror. She looked worried, but she had to be confident she was ready for this. Tonight was all about helping Robin, and no matter what he might ask of her if he woke up, she was going to do everything in her power to help him.
Raven turned out the light and stepped lightly over to the bed where Robin was sleeping. She could already tell he was going to have nightmares through the night. She gingerly picked up the covers and slid into the bed next to him. It was the first time in her life that she'd ever come into a warm bed.
As she settled in, she realized she only had the one pillow and he was currently sleeping on it. Raven instead laid her head down on his chest and tried to get comfortable. It was going to be a long night after all.
She didn't know how long she lay there before the rapid beat of Robin's heart announced his awakening long before her emotional bond let her know that he was having a nightmare.
"NO!" Robin shouted, sitting up in bed. Raven had barely had enough time to move in order to keep from being catapulted from her own bed.
"It's okay Robin, it was just a dream." Raven said putting a calming hand on his shoulders.
Robin trembled under her touch and shuddered. "No, it wasn't a dream. It was a memory." Then Robin began taking stock of his surroundings. "Where am I?"
"You're in my room." Raven said shyly thanking the darkness for hiding her blush. "Starfire and I thought that you didn't need to be alone."
"I shouldn't…" Robin said trying to get up. Raven however still had his shoulders.
"Yes, you should." Raven disagreed. "I know you're in pain. I'm here to share it with you and to help you. Please don't push me away Robin. I… I love you too."
The two of them sat there for a long time, staring at each other in the dark. Finally when Robin moved toward Raven she fought of the butterflies in her stomach. She had promised herself that whatever Robin wanted from her tonight to comfort himself, she was going to give it freely.
Robin gently hugged her close and then gently pushed her back onto the bed. She felt the warmth of her pillow beneath her head as she lay there with him looking down on her. As Robin moved his hand to touch her she closed her eyes, ready to receive whatever attentions he desired.
All that he did was brush her cheek gently with his fingers. Raven opened her eyes expecting Robin to perhaps explore further, but his sad face told her the contrary. Instead, he merely moved down a little and as Raven watched him he dipped his head to kiss her good night and then placed his head against her breast as if he were listening to her heartbeat, and wrapped his arms around her torso.
"I'm afraid I might wake you up again tonight." Robin said in his melancholy.
"I know. It's okay."
"Good night Rae."
"Good night Rob."
"And Raven…"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
"I know. I love you too."