DISCLAIMER: i own nothing. jk rowling owns everything. any language used in this fic is not meant to offend anyone so please don't hate me.

THE LONELY HEARTS CLUB:

Sirius had made up his mind. He was to confront Remus in the nicest yet most inescapable way. They would know the truth; a secret girl could not be the answer to that desperate lulluby Remus had murmured so beautifully the night before.

Confrontation, however, was proving difficult as Sirius had seen not hide nor hair of the boy since he'd left him up on that stoop to take his shower. His shower of a whole eighteen hours ago. Added to this unfortunate dilemma, Sirius was unsure if James should accompany him or not. Undoubtedly, James had more tact – Sirius was a caveman when it came to emotion - yet Sirius strongly felt, oh so humbly, that he was the right person to talk to Remus. And he'd realised after their last attack, three was a crowd, an intimidating crowd.

"James, mate, you seen Moony?" Sirius entered the Great Hall late, with the majority of Hogwarts already tucked into their lunch.

"I was just asking 'Tail here if he knew where you were? Thought you'd get in immediately being that you just had a free."

"Been looking for our Disillusioned friend, haven't I? Missed him this morning, and unless I've developed selective blindness, he wasn't in Charms this morning," Sirius hovered by the table, reluctant to sit and eat when he had such an important task ahead of him.

"I'm going to get a crick in my neck if you don't sit down, Padfoot," James waited for Sirius to sit, hesitantly, before replying. "I didn't see him in class, either, but I could have sworn I caught a glimpse of him climbing in from the stoop after breakfast. He looked freezing, as if he'd been out there all night."

"That's daft, Prongs. As if sensible Moony would dare to stay out after curfew, let alone all night in freezing winds. Did you hear it howling last night?" Peter piped in, clearly having had his fill of bacon sandwiches and free now to enter the conversation.

"Choice words, 'Tail. Really nice." Peter shrugged. "You're probably right, though, as if Moony would chance it on a rooftop for a night. What reason would he have to do that, eh? Prongs, can I have word, when you're done, about that Divination essay we were given last week?"

Prongs raised an eyebrow covertly, and stood. Sirius followed suit. "I'm good. Common Room?"

Sirius nodded, and the two left Peter alone at the table, his hand immediately reaching for the plate of steaming sausages.

"We never get essays for Divination, Padfoot, what's up? You still worried about Moony?"

The two walked up the vast staircases, heading for their destination at a snail's pace.

"We do get set essays, Prongs, we just never hand them in."

"It's a wonder she hasn't called us up on it yet. Maybe she's still in shock after that palm reading session in third year, what with my devastatingly short lifeline and your destiny as an Azkaban regular. What utter balmy, when she couldn't even figure out the wolf in Moony's teacup, the old bat."

"She could hardly announce it to the class, you idiot. Didn't Moony say all the professors know anyway? Had to agree to living in the same castle as a dangerous beast, didn't they?"

"Something like that. I'm worried, too. This can't all be over a girl, even if she is a Slytherin," James' nose turned up at that last statement. "He's not been right since that night he snuck in. The 'break up'."

"I don't think he's been sleeping, either." Sirius didn't let on that he knew this because he'd not heard Remus awaken from a nightmare in weeks.

"You know, I'm beginning to think there never was a girl. Or, not a girlfriend. Yet, he definitely smelled like he'd had a good night. A fling?"

"That ends in tears? Can't have been that good, could she?" Sirius paused outside the Portrait of the Fat Lady. "He's had girls before, though, yeah? It wasn't his first time or anything?"

"Toad's Legs. Perhaps it wasn't all he thought it would be. Moony is a bit of a romantic, deep down beneath that calm outer shell. Our poor boy was just disappointed," James sounded uncertain, and there was a desperate pleading in his hazel eyes, as if he needed Sirius to reassure him. Problem was, Sirius felt the least sure he ever had.

"It's so much more than that, James, I can feel it. This is something big. Something out of our depth. We need to talk to him." James visibly deflated at Sirius' words.

"I just wish I had the words to make him smile. A real smile, not those imposters he tries to fool us with. I want the old Remus back. I want our Moony back," Sirius almost smiled at his friend's compassion. If there was one thing James Potter was not short of, it was passion, in any sense.

"I think, maybe, that he'd find it easier to talk if it were with just one of us, intitially at least." Sirius' suggestion was tentative. He eyed James, who'd subconsciously managed to sit on Remus' bed, then stumbled rather uncharacteristically over the next sentence, "Do you mind if I talk to him alone?"

James looked taken aback. Sirius braced himself. "What are you getting all nervous on me for, we need to be strong for Rem. Frankly, I don't care which one of does it, as long as we get the truth out of him. As long as he lets us in." Sirius threw himself on his unmade bed, and released his breath.

"I get the strangest feeling that we're supposed to be somewhere right now," Sirius declared with nonchalance.

"Transfiguration, it would appear. And we're already late for it. McGoogles is going to murder us slowly and most painfully," James mock sighed.

"Seeing as I'm never one to miss an opportunity to skip classes, and Remus has declared himself a missing person, I say we take the opportunity to undeclare him without the hassle of all those other students clogging up the hallways. Agreed? After all, McGoogles can't murder us if we aren't there to be murdered."

"Agreed."

"Breathe, Remus, come on mate, just breathe! In, out, in, out. Follow me, Moony. In and out. Moony, in. In, Remus, in! Remus, dammit, breathe!"

James and Sirius had found Remus by the Black Lake, in an area hidden by trees that only the Marauders seemed to be aware of. He'd been lying on his side, knees curled, face pressed into the grass, and twitching violently. He weakly fisted the grass, and his entire body had screamed frustration and fear. They'd both dropped to him immediately, concern overriding all normal thoughts. He hadn't noticed them initially, lost in his own terrifying battle.

The twitching, James realised belatedly, was Remus fighting his body to breathe. He was wheezing and coughing in bursts between lapses of complete stillness and silence, as if he kept losing the will to fight and then regaining it. Sirius had laid a gentle hand on Remus' heaving back, and he'd stilled again. A small grunt escaped him, and then Sirius met golden eyes so filled with terror he'd almost fallen back from the shock. And like that, Sirius had stopped thinking and just acted.

"Breathe, Remus, come on mate, just breathe! In, out, in, out. Follow me, Moony. In and out. Moony, in. In, Remus, in! Remus, dammit, breathe!" Remus just kept his eyes fixed on Sirius', trying to do as he was being asked. His hands and neck felt so weak, he was sinking further into the cool grass, sinking further into the pit of horror. His entire world had fallen apart, and he was only half battling with his body to keep living. What did it matter anyway?

Sirius grabbed Remus' waist and pulled him flush against his chest, the pounding of his own heart feeling all the more significant in light of it all.

"Breathe with me, Remus. Follow my chest, in, out. Please, Remus, please. Don't give up. Relax your body against me. Feel the weight leave your chest." Sirius had his voice as low and gentle as he could manage; Remus needed calm.

"Should I get a professor?" James was hesitant to involve more people than necessary in Remus' stress. If they could handle it themselves, then they would and should.

"I'm not sure. Help me get his tie off!" Remus had obviously attempted to loosen his tie in his struggle, as the knot hung by his fourth button down. James' nimble fingers made quick work of it, and then he attempted the highest button for seconds before chalking that up to useless and finally ripping the shirt open. Remus' hands flew to his chest, pressing over his aching heart.

Remus could hear Sirius whispering to him in a low voice. Although Remus was unable to understand the words, the tone was soothing and he tried to give his mind over to the comforting rumble.

His eyes had closed tight again, hands clenched over Sirius' thighs, new panic at having been found this way rising.

Breathe, just breathe.

James had removed his belt and unbuttoned Remus' school trousers at the waist. Remus knew it was only to help him relax, to remove any tight restrictions, and that thought supressed the painful memories of foreign hands in that region. Nevertheless, he'd whimpered softly and his body had flinched in response.

James had moved back, not wanting to crowd Remus, and could only watch as Sirius hummed a sweet tune, cheek pressed to Remus', and Remus' struggle continued.

Sirus' chest was rising and falling beneath him, rising and falling, air going in and out at a steady rhythm. In and out, in and out.

Breathe, just breathe.

And then Remus was breathing shallow but regular breaths. Up, down, in and out. He was still breathing out more air than he was taking in, but he was improving second by second. His eyes relaxed as he listened to the lulling tone in his ear, and his hands eased up as his mind concentrated on Sirius' calloused fingers stroking his ears ever so gently.

What felt like hours later found Remus breathing normally, still draped against Sirius' chest, the pattern of their breathing matched perfectly. For the first time in a month, Remus was able to switch off his mind completely, the sound of his father's favourite lullaby sending him to the deepest sleep he'd ever fell into.