A/N: What did you all think of 'Big Time Christmas'? My two favorite parts were when the boys went to the store to do last minute Christmas shopping, and Logan ended up getting bought by some lady. I also liked the part where Big Time Rush sang their duet with Snoop Dogg. The animation thingy was downright hilarious.

Disclaimer: See any of the previous chapter's disclaimers.

Til I Forget About You

Unwelcome Visitor

My breath hitched in my throat. Camille. What was she doing here? How could she even show her face here after what she did? I didn't want to see her. The fact that she came to see me changed absolutely nothing. It didn't change what she did. It didn't change what she said.

"This is all your fault! You were supposed to watch Logan! You were supposed to keep an eye on him! How is him getting in a car crash you keeping an eye on him?" Kendall shouted.

"I agree with Kendall. It was bad enough that you took him away from us, but then this happened under your watch. You really shouldn't be here right now," James said.

"I have just as much right to be here as any of you do!" Camille exclaimed.

I couldn't hold my tongue anymore. Kendall, James, and Carlos didn't know what had transpired that led me to get behind the wheel in the first place. It was time that they knew though.

"Actually, no you don't, Camille. Only people who care about me should be allowed to see me. Based on the last argument we had, you made it pretty clear that you don't care about me!" I remarked.

Kendall, James, and Carlos all rounded on Camille. They narrowed their eyes at Camille. Kendall even glared daggers at her. This just supported the claim that Camille wasn't welcome here.

"Logan, that wasn't me. We both said things to each other in the heat of the moment that we didn't really mean," Camille replied.

"What about the part where you said that you hope I die alone? Did you mean that?" I retorted.

Carlos gasped. I saw both Kendall and James clench both their teeth and their fists.

"Of course I didn't mean that!" Camille exclaimed.

"Right. It's easy to say that to a person confined to a hospital bed. I know better though. I don't believe you," I responded.

"Logan, I—"

"You told me to go back to L.A. You are the reason I got behind the wheel. You are the reason I was on my way to the airport when I got in a car crash. You are the reason I'm in a hospital now."

It felt so good to get that off my chest. However, there was a nagging little voice in my head that reminded me that she wasn't entirely to blame. It was much easier to blame someone else than accept blame yourself. Camille may have been the reason I was behind the wheel that night, but I was the reason I was in the hospital right now. I was the one who drove out into oncoming traffic.

"Camille, maybe you should just go," Carlos said.

"No! I'm not going anywhere!" Camille replied angrily.

"Unbelievable! He got in a car crash, Camille! A car crash! He almost died! He was in a coma for three months! Do you understand that? Come to find out, it's all because of you! Stay away from Logan!" James yelled.

Camille had tears in her eyes. However, as good of an actress as she was, I really couldn't tell if those tears were genuine or not. Wow! That's a horrible thing for me to even think, but it was the truth.

"You think I don't know that, James? I do! Every morning I wake up, I have to live with that. I know I messed up, okay? If I could go back and do it all over differently, I would in a heartbeat! I would never have come to New York City. I would never have asked Logan to come with me. I now realize how horrible of a girlfriend I've been to Logan ignoring him the way I have been. My career was more important to me than he was. Not anymore! I now know what really matters to me—Logan matters to me, and nothing else," Camille said.

"Those words were sweet, Camille, but…they were just words. I don't believe any of them," I commented.

"And I don't blame you. If I were you, I wouldn't believe me either."

"Is this a bad time?" an unfamiliar voice asked.

I saw who the new addition to my hospital room was. It was a petite woman probably in her thirties. She had short jet black hair.

"I'm Detective Morgan. I heard you woke up, Logan. I'm here to collect your statement about the automobile crash you were in a few months back," she stated.

"No offense, Detective, but I don't know if Logan is up for it right now," Carlos responded.

"It's okay, Carlos. I might as well get this over with now," I said.

All of a sudden, I was very nervous. It was one thing lying to Kendall, James, Carlos, and even Camille. It would be completely different lying to a detective. She had been trained to know the difference between when someone was lying and when someone was telling the truth. There would be no fooling her.

"Okay, Logan. What is the last thing you remember before the car crash?" Detective Morgan inquired.

"I remember coming up to the intersection of 5th and Main. I noticed the light turn red, so I tried to put on my brakes, but they wouldn't work. The next thing I knew, I saw the headlights of the semi, and then that was all I remember," I recalled.

"Interesting. So you did try to stop then? The reason I ask is because we found no tire treads at the crash scene, which means that you didn't slam on the brakes."

"I know, but I tried!"

"There's no reason to get so defensive, Logan."

I tried to mentally will myself to calm down. I was breathing rapidly. My heart pounded in my chest. There was no doubt in my mind that this wasn't going how I would have liked it to go, but maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought. Maybe I was being way too pessimistic.

"Why were you driving in the first place? Where were you going? Did something troubling happen that caused you to get behind the wheel?" she questioned.

I sighed deeply and out of frustration.

"I changed my mind. I don't feel like giving you my statement right now," I said.

"If you ask me—" she started to say before I cut her off.

"I didn't ask you!"

"If you ask me—this was no accident. All the evidence points to this being an attempted suicide."

"Evidence? What evidence?"

"The fact that there were no tire treads. The fact that we have several eyewitness testimonies which say that you never even tried to slow down. The fact that you are getting so defensive. The fact that you now don't even want to finish giving me your statement."

I was starting to panic. I knew that the truth would come out eventually, but I never thought it would come out so soon. I already felt so ashamed that I tried to take my own life. I didn't want the others to know too. I don't think I could handle the disappointment in me they would undoubtedly feel.

"I told you! My brakes weren't working!" I cried out.

"I'll have your brakes checked out, but there's really no need. I already know how that will turn out—nothing will be wrong with them. I want to help you, kid. Suicide is often just a cry for help," Detective Morgan commented.

"Don't do that! Don't treat me like I'm some statistic!"

The second stage of grief was anger.

"Wait a second. Logan, you tried to kill yourself? Is that true?" Carlos asked.

Hearing Carlos' meager voice broke my heart. He trusted me. He trusted me way too much. He trusted that I would never try to take my own life, but I had.

"Of course it's true, Carlos. You heard the detective; Logan tried to kill himself," James said.

"I'm not suicidal!" I yelled, my frustration boiling over.

"What do you call driving out into oncoming traffic then?" Kendall asked.

"It was an isolated incident! Suicidal implies recurring attempts of suicide. This was the only time I've tried to commit suicide, therefore, I am not suicidal!" I retorted angrily.

"Logan, we're only trying to help you here," Detective Morgan commented.

I was at my wits end with these people. My blood was boiling. My pulse was racing. I was so angry that my entire body was trembling.

"You're trying to help me? You're trying to help me! I have two things to say about that: first of all, I don't remember asking for your help! Secondly, you don't even know me!" I shouted.

"I may not know you personally, but I've come across many people like you over the years," Detective Morgan responded.

I scoffed.

"You are so pretentious! Just because you've been doing this for years, you think you're so smart! You think you know everything! News flash: you don't! You don't know everything! You don't know me! I'm not like those other people!" I screamed.

"Logan…" Camille said glumly.

I rounded on Camille. My eyes darkened as I glared at her. I noticed her mouth was slightly agape as she took in the way I was looking at her.

"Don't even start Camille! In fact, what are you even doing here? I forgave you when I found out that you and James had kissed. But I'm not forgiving you for this! You are the reason I'm like this! You are the reason I tried to commit suicide! As far as I'm concerned, I could care less if I never see you again!" I snapped at Camille.

She started sobbing uncontrollably before she ran out of the room with her head hung low. I didn't feel the tiniest bit of remorse for anything that I had said to her. Someone needed to put her in her place, and I was perfectly fine if I was that someone.

"While I'm at it, get out! All of you! I don't feel up for visitors anymore!" I hollered.

Kendall, James, and Detective Morgan heeded my wish without speaking another word. However, Carlos stuck around.

"I can stick around though. Right, Logie?" Carlos asked hopefully.

"Go away, Carlos," I said softly.

"But Logan…"

"Go away!"

I could hear Carlos sobbing as he left in a hurry. I had brought him to tears, but I didn't really care. Now I was all alone, but I didn't really care. I only wanted people around me who actually gave a damn about me, and they all made it painfully clear they didn't give a damn about me, so who needs them? I sure don't.

To Be Continued…

A/N: I actually like writing dark, suicidal Logan. Yeah…I might be a horrible person.