A/N: First of all, I want to apologize for taking so long to update. As of late, I've been second guessing myself. I've been writing, but I keep thinking to myself, "I can't upload this!" So, I scrap the whole draft, and try to start over fresh.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but I own a whole lot of it, so yeah…

Til I Forget About You

Paparazzi

I had finished packing. I wasn't sure how I felt about the fact that I could fit my entire life in one duffel bag. Really, I didn't even know what to take to the treatment center. I mean I doubted I would need much. I still couldn't quite wrap my head around the idea of me going to a treatment center in the first place.

"Hey Logan, are you ready? I just want you to know that I am so proud of you for doing this, Logie," Carlos said, his voice shaky.

"I've been doing some thinking. I can't go through with this. So, do you still feel proud of me?" I replied.

Carlos' mouth was agape. I could see the hurt in his eyes. After all, it was Carlos that ultimately convinced me to go to the psychiatric institute. There were five stages of grief, but they weren't always sequential. Someone could go back to a previous stage of grief. Take me for example. Right now, I was back in denial, the first stage.

"I really don't need to go to that treatment center, Carlitos. There's nothing wrong with me," I said.

I was unaware that Kendall had even joined us until he spoke.

"Don't cave, Carlos. Logan may not want to do this, but he needs to do this. Don't forget; he tried to kill himself," Kendall said.

The third stage of grief was bargaining.

"Yeah, but I didn't. I won't do it again. I promise. So, there's really no need for me to go to the psychiatric institute then," I stated.

"I want to believe you. Really, I do, but I don't. So as much as you might hate me for making you go to the treatment center, I'd hate myself even more if we pretended like everything was okay, like you were okay, only to have you try to kill yourself again," James, said upon entering the bedroom.

I couldn't believe this. They were doing it again; they were ganging up on me. How come nobody was on my side? Why couldn't anyone see that my attempt on my life was a one-time thing? I wasn't going to try to commit suicide again! What possible reason would I have for doing such a thing?

My duffel bag fell from my shoulders to the floor. I looked from Kendall to James to Carlos. I was completely beside myself. Had it really come to this? There were tears that were starting to form in my eyes. I wasn't sure if they were due to anger or sadness.

"For the last time, I'm not going to kill myself! How many times do I have to say that to you guys before you believe me? What? All of a sudden, you three think I'm a liar? Well, thanks for the vote of confidence!" I remarked sarcastically.

See what I mean about regressing? Now, I was back to the second stage of grief, anger.

"Stop putting words in our mouths. We're not calling you a liar, Logie," Kendall responded. He placed a hand on my shoulder, but I quickly shook it off.

"Do you honestly think that I'll attempt to commit suicide again?" I retorted.

"Yes."

"Then, you are calling me a liar!"

I started to leave the room in a fit of rage, but James stood in between me and the doorway. He walked up to me, and threw his arms around me in an embrace. I struggled to break free, but that only made him hold onto me even tighter.

"James, let me go!" I shouted.

I slammed my fists on his back repeatedly, but he wouldn't let me go. Tears streamed down my face as I frantically tried to get him off of me. I felt my shoulder start to get moist from James' own tears.

"No, Logan. I care about you too much to continue to watch you do this to yourself. You need help," James said.

"No, James. I need you to let go of me! I'm not doing anything to myself! I'm fine! I don't need help!" I exclaimed.

The blows to James' back got weaker and weaker with every strike. It got to a point where I stopped hitting James altogether. I just shook with sobs as he held me in an embrace, gently shushing me.

I don't know who I was trying to fool. Methinks I was trying to convince myself that I was fine. Kendall, James, and Carlos saw that I clearly wasn't fine. I guess I was just the last one to know. It figures though. I've been an emotional wreck. I've been emotionally unstable; one second I would be screaming my lungs out at my best friends, and the next second, I would be bawling my eyes out. The worst part was that as much as I wanted to stop, I couldn't. I just…couldn't.

"Can I have a turn?" Carlos asked in a meager voice.

James reluctantly let go of me, but soon after, Carlos was the one who was holding me. Neither one of us had dry eyes. Both of our bodies were shaking with sobs so much, that it was a wonder the two of us were still standing.

"I'm…scared, Carlos. I don't want to be away from you guys. I need you guys. I don't want to talk to strangers about my messed up life and the horrible decisions I've made. What business of theirs is it?" I whined.

"You're not alone in this, Logie. We'll come visit you everyday. I promise," Carlos said, his voice breaking.

"You can't. None of you can. At least not for three days. There's a 72 hour no visitors rule."

"Well then, four days from now, you better believe we'll be there."

Despite the tears streaming down his face, he managed to give me a small smile. It wasn't a grand gesture or anything, but it was enough to give me hope. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe I could do this after all. The sooner I did this, the sooner I could get back to my friends.

I went to pick my duffel bag off the floor, but Kendall beat me to it. He positioned the strap over his shoulder. The two of us locked eyes with one another. His gaze softened. Out of the three of them, it was Kendall that was the most vocal about my need to go to the treatment center. In so many words, he called me a liar. However, a part of me thought that it was just because Kendall cared a lot about me. The two of us have always been really close.

"Are you and I…cool?" he asked.

"No," I admitted. "If you think I need help, then that's fine. I can accept that. What I cannot accept, what I will not accept is that despite me assuring you that I won't try to kill myself again, you don't believe me."

"James doesn't believe you either! Why are you taking this all out on me?"

"Because I'm going away for awhile. Who knows how long I'll be at the treatment center? You've been nothing but icy towards me."

"Oh, and you haven't been 'icy' to me?"

Carlos held me back as James held Kendall back. I didn't know what Kendall's problem with me was. After the way he's been treating me, after the things he's said to me lately, I think I'm entitled to treat Kendall however I want to.

"Come on guys. Please don't fight," Carlos urged.

At this moment, a mob of paparazzi entered the bedroom. Cameras were flashing like crazy. Reporters were asking myriad questions. They were talking over one another. There was no question who the paparazzi were targeting: me.

"What do you have to say about rumors that you are going to rehab?" one reporter asked me.

"Is it true that you tried to kill yourself?" another reporter inquired.

"What is your status as it relates to Big Time Rush?" a third reporter asked.

James and Carlos did their best to cover the camera lenses with their hands, but the paparazzi were swarming, and James and Carlos could only do so much. All the while, they were telling the paparazzi to shoo.

"You don't have to answer them, Logan," Kendall said to me. He then rounded on the paparazzi. "Leave him alone!"

I was barely aware of the fact that Kendall had grabbed hold of my wrist, and was pulling me behind him as he tried to get me away from the paparazzi. Carlos and James were close behind, continuing to try to run interference as well. I hung my head low. This was so humiliating. The situation was already bad enough. The last thing I needed was the media to have a field day with this.

As we made our way through The Palm Woods, the paparazzi were making quite a scene. All the other residents got their attention piqued by all the commotion, and watched the events unfold.

I wasn't truly safe from the paparazzi until we had made it into the limo. Luckily, it had tinted windows, so while we could see out, they couldn't see in. This didn't make sense. I wasn't even a famous celebrity. I was a part of Big Time Rush before they really started to become a household name. Why would the media even be remotely interested in my personal life? Or were they just that desperate for something to gossip about?

"Logan, look at me," Kendall said.

I had my face buried in my hands. I just couldn't catch a break, could I? It was a series of unfortunate events; one after another after another. I couldn't recall a time where I had cried any more than I had recently. It just wasn't fair. None of this was fair. Why was this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?

"Hey," Kendall said, gently grabbing one of my forearms. "Don't worry, Logan. According to Jo's agent, the standard life span for celebrity gossip is only five weeks. Then, they'll move on to some other hapless victim."

"But I'm not even a celebrity! Why can't they just leave me alone?" I asked.

"Because they're piranhas who have nothing better to do with their lives than stick their noses in other people's lives," Carlos answered, annoyed.

"Don't worry about them. Just worry about yourself. Just worry about getting better," James said.

It was then, there in that limo, that I realized that I wasn't alone. I realized that I had the three best friends in the world. The way they tried to protect me from the paparazzi was admirable. Their faith in me was touching. They just wanted me to get better. It was nice to know that someone cared. It was nice to know that they cared.

I wanted to get better too. I wasn't quite sure what was wrong with me. Something was wrong with me though. I haven't been myself for quite some time now. Sure, ideally it would be preferable to not start my road to recovery in some psychiatric institute, but where wasn't really important; all that mattered was that I got better. I would get better. I had to. I didn't want to let Kendall, James, and Carlos down. I didn't want to let myself down.

To Be Continued…

A/N: To whet your appetite, and perhaps influence your vote on my poll, I will give you a bit more information about my six potential upcoming stories. The humor one is inspired by the iCarly episode 'iStart a Fan War.' Yeah…'nuff said. The Katie/Logan one explores the idea that Katie really does have a crush on one of her big brother's best friends…only it isn't James. I realized that I never even described in any extent the Logan-centric angst/hurt/comfort one. It involves mistaken identity, and Logan torture. You read that right: torture. The Carlos/Logan one involves a rock climbing accident. The Logan/Camille one involves a bank heist. Lastly, the angst one with all four guys involves a carjacking. If you have any sort of respect for me, then you won't hijack my ideas. I mean even if you do, which I sincerely hope you don't, what you write won't necessarily be what I write, but still…