TEAM DAI-GURREN ROUND 1 - WHEN YOU FIGHT, I FIGHT

Hotel Dusk. Perhaps not the best place that Zexion could've afforded with his sponsor funds, but it would suffice for now. Oddly enough, since his appearance before Lordgenome, Viral hadn't seen the blue-haired child at all. But getting back on track, the team was currently located in an abandoned lot close to their temporary HQ, where the team mechanic was performing a check-up on the Lagann.

"Hmm…bad news, boys," Leeron told the group, as his laptop finished running diagnostics on the team's strongest weapon. "Looks like those Nobodies that Viral's in cahoots with messed up big time during the transport. We could hope that it temporarily fixes itself in the middle of combat, like what happened during our first encounter with Thymilph, but it's not worth the risk this early in the competition. Sorry, Simon, but you're going to have to sit this first match out."

"Oh, that's okay," Simon said. "Honestly, I still don't feel okay with the idea of fighting humans like us. I mean, I've heard that some of our opponents have things like robots and mutants that could probably injure Lagann if I'm not careful, but I'm not sure I could hurt somebody like me even if my life depended on it. Besides, I'm sure that big bro will be able to-"

"No."

Everyone in the room quickly turned their heads to the source of the voice. Considering how Simon's last sentence was beginning, it was little surprise that Kamina was talking now. "Simon, your soul and mine have a bond stronger than the heavens. Despite the consequences of your actions, if you feel that you are not fit to fight, then I shall lay down my sword as well."

"But, bro, don't you remember last night, when we…uh…" Simon started to say, but quickly shut up when he realized that Viral was also in the room. No matter what kind of alliance they had formed with him, talking about how they planned to steal his boss' Gunman was a horrible idea.

"Well, we'd still be fighting the same battle, right? When you fight, I fight. When you stay, I stay. We bring out the best of each other, and I wouldn't have it any other way," Kamina replied.

"Oh, how touching," Viral uttered, his tone clearly a mocking one. "Now, if you're done uttering drivel I could find in a self-help book, I'd like to nominate myself for a fighting position. It pains me to say this, but if you pesky naked apes still believe that you're here just so my superiors can get a few chuckles, the only way I can convince you otherwise is to risk my own health for the cause."

Yoko, who'd adapted oddly well to this whole mess, merely shrugged. "Okay, that's good. So, Leeron, I guess that makes you-"

"Sorry, hon, but I'd rather work on repairs ASAP rather than wait until after the round, in case your opponents come to us looking for an unauthorized rematch," Leeron told her.

"What? But that only leaves us with-"

~.~

Some time later, Viral received a memo from one of Zexion's minions, telling them where and when the first round of the tournament would be at. The fighting members organized themselves in the paintball field where the battle would take place, while Simon and Kamina opted to watch from the sidelines. Their opponents had arrived ahead of them, but despite their longer prep time, they probably weren't expecting what the Dai-Gurren brigade had brought…

"Ya gotta be fuckin' kidding me," Travis Touchdown, the star of the "No More Heroes" video games, muttered as he saw his designated opponent. On the ground floor of the paintball field, Jeane was doing a few last-minute stretches, while Henry smoothed out a crease in his beige longcoat.

"All right, sportsfans, time for the next fight of Round 1!" announced Deadpool, the host of the tournament, from his position in the commentator's box. "Fighting for Hell, it's the most screwed-up family since the Osbornes: Travis, Henry, and Jeane! And their opponents are a hot chick with a gun, a bishonen with teeth you could use as a can opener, and…the Team Pet? Damn, that's more embarrassing than the drummer named 'Pickles'! Ah, well; it's their funeral. Let's get ready to rumble!"

"Boo boota boo!" cried Boota the pigmole, Simon's pet ever since the day he & Kamina first saw the surface of their world, as he stared up at Travis. The spiky-haired otaku, ready to achieve a quick victory for their team, charged forward and attempted to squish the rodent under his foot. Screw the rules about not murdering your opponent; if his foes decided to pit him against something that a light breeze could knock into a coma, he may as well go all-out on the pest.

On the lower level of the paintball field, the other two Dai-Gurren participants were locked in fierce duels with the opponent that shared their gender. That is to say, Viral and Henry had locked their katanas, neither one allowing the other an opening, while Jeane was using her agility to dodge every shot that Yoko took.

"Let's talk. I found that learning a bit more about your prey makes their pleading all the more satisfying once you've attained dominance over them," the blonde femme fatale uttered as she leapt over a missile that contained sleeping gas (since killing the opponent in this tournament was a no-go), gaining a bit of ground on her opponent while doing so. "You're pretty good with that glorified pistol of yours. Where did you learn your skills? Tutored by Doctor Peace, perhaps? Or perhaps you spent some time in the military with Holly Summers. Me? I've trained with masters before, but most of my talent was self-taught."

"I learned everything I needed to survive in Littner Village, my home. Learning things on your own is good, but if you're fighting against a force that could hurt everyone you care about, there are advantages to working together to reach a common goal," Yoko replied, before she threw a flash grenade at her opponent. She managed to get lucky and stun the assassin, and although it was enough for Yoko to dash back and get more distance between them, Jeane wasn't the sort that would let something like this slow her down for long.

Back on the upper levels of the battle zone, it would be an understatement if I said that Travis was having difficulty in his efforts to eliminate his much smaller, much quicker opponent

"Ta ta boota!" squeaked Boota as he ran between Travis' legs, dodging yet another blow that could have instantly ended his existence.

"STAY STILL, YOU LITTLE RAT!" Travis shouted like a man possessed, swinging his weapon furiously. "AND STOP CRYING LIKE A GODDAMN POKEMON!"

In the otaku's fury, he let his instincts take over and launched his entire body towards the pigmole. Boota wasn't prepared to avoid a blow as big as an entire human body, so he decided that all he could do was protect his little black glasses with his tiny paws. Travis' torso made a direct hit against his opponent, and the assassin was quite pleased…until the platform started to buckle. It turns out that, after you hit something over fifty times with a beam katana by accident due to your target moving out of the way repeatedly, it's prone to collapsing after one major blow.

"Welp, so much for winnin' due to Travis stayin' up there," Henry commented after hearing a loud thud near his position, though he kept his eyes on the beastman before him. "Guess it's just a matter of which of the lassies can stand up the longest. Because I can assure you, lad, that I'm not gonna go down if this is the best you've got to offer."

"Oh, I'm just getting started, you inferior naked ape. I may not know what you're fighting for, but I'm fighting for the protection of my world, and for the glory of my fellow beastmen. And even if I fail in saving my homeland, our strength shall never be forgotten, least of all by imbeciles such as you!" Viral stated. He then , and launched two quick strikes at his opponent's back.

"Really, now? Well, I'm kinda doin' the same," Henry said, moving his sword arm behind himself. He parried both blows without looking behind him and with only a bit of effort, and Viral had to admit, it was a bit impressive. "…But what I tell people doesn't sound nearly as arrogant as what you said. You could give my half-brother a run for his money in the ego department, you know."

And now for something not entirely different, Travis was starting to stand up, no longer stunned by the collapse of the layer he was on. "I can't believe I was almost pwnd by a lousy rat-thing," he thought to himself. "You know what? I'm tired of this shit. It's time to end this!"

Viral noticed the now-standing Travis out of the corner of his eye. What's more, it looked like the assassin was charging up some kind of attack. He briefly looked away from Henry in order to judge Yoko's position. After all, he had the skill to handle two fierce warriors at once, but the naked ape and her long-distance attacks might not fare as well. Judging that she probably wouldn't survive a direct attack, Viral kicked Henry in the shins, stunning the Irishman, and started dashing away from him…

And that's when Travis was ready to unleash his power. "CRANBERRY CHOCOLATE SUNDAE!"

There was a flash of red light that engulfed the entire battlefield, emanating from Travis Touchdown. When it cleared, it appeared as though both of his opponents were still conscious. However, after a few seconds, Viral collapsed. The audience waited to see if Yoko would do the same, but stopped when they realized that Viral had positioned himself between Travis and the girl. In other words, he used himself as a shield so his partner had a chance to win the fight. However, Yoko was worried that she wouldn't be able to pull this off…

"And Team Dai-Gurren's the winner! Someone give Travis a chill pill, and get him outta there!" announced Deadpool, which was certainly surprising to Yoko and Travis.

"…What? WHAT! You can't just kick me out while I'm in my prime, dude! Tell 'em, Henry!" Travis exclaimed, looking towards his half-brother to back him up. However, Travis quickly noticed that the chestnut-haired man was lying unconscious on the ground. Turning to his other teammate's last known location, he saw that Jeane was out for the count, too.

"Heh…you really ought to control your temper better, you idiot," Yoko taunted, using her rifle to support himself. "We might've been caught off-guard by that stint of yours, but so were your allies. Next time, you might want to warn them before you blow up their surroundings."

"Welp, Travis, the hot chick pretty much summed it up for me," Deadpool announced. "Thanks for playing, and be sure to pick up a copy of the home version on your way outta here…what's that, yellow text boxes? There's still nine more rounds until a winner's decided? And we don't have a home version? Well, why not? We could make a fortune off of merchandising!"

Deciding to ignore Deadpool's seemingly endless narrative, Travis sheathed his katana and went to make sure that Henry and Jeane weren't too damaged. Similarly, Yoko went to check on Viral, who was starting to regain consciousness when she arrived.

"So…do you think your loud-mouthed friends are finally going to understand the severity of the situation?" uttered the beastman. He then coughed, for that was one heck of a sentence, and he was still rather weary.

"A little more than earlier, I think," replied Yoko, as she extended her hand. "Now get up. Even though you were my willing meat shield, that doesn't mean I'm giving you a piggyback ride back to the hotel."

"As if I'd need a nake…a 'human' to carry me like a tired infant," Viral said, using Yoko's arm to help lift him up. As he got back to his feet, he noticed that the pigmole had found its way onto Yoko's shoulder without any of them noticing. It was a crafty little thing, capable of doing things of great importance despite its inferiority in the grand scheme of things…kinda like the naked apes, if you thought about it.

~.~

Up in the stands, Kamina and Simon were discussing the results of the match. "Well, I guess that might have more chops than I assumed," uttered the older of the two.

"Yeah…but if Viral is being honest this means that our world really is in danger if we fail, isn't it? It was bad enough when we were fighting the beastmen; Yoko barely survived that one guy's attack even with protection, and I'm not certain if we can get through this," Simon replied, his fear evident.

"Accidentally taken out by their own ally…man, what a cop-out! That 'Travis' guy is even more pathetic than Gordon! This is an embarrassment; how dare they represent the Netherworld!"

Kamina and Simon, not recognizing the new voice, turned around and saw a strange boy sitting behind them. He was wearing a red scarf, wasn't wearing a shirt at all, and had hair as blue as theirs…though his had two antenna-looking things rising from the top. When they began examining his face to see if he had any distinguishing marks on it, the bros realized that the stranger was now angrily glaring at them. "What do you two peons think you're looking at? Are Overlords not allowed to express their opinions around here? 'Cause if not, back off already!"

"Yessir, right away sir!" Simon said to Laharl, before jumping out of his seat and dashing to the exit. Kamina watched his little bro run in fear, and let out a sigh. He was prepared to start a monologue about how he hoped that Simon would man up already, because his big bro wouldn't always be there to support him…but realized that Laharl was still glaring at him, and decided to hightail it out as well.

FIRST ROUND - END

A/N: And this marks the second of my two First Round entries, this one uploaded in the nick of time! I read my opponent (Clement Rage)'s entry beforehand, and I tried to make things interesting using diversity; in his entry, Kamina and Simon fight instead of Boota and Viral, and Simon's angst over letting people down is the main focus over Viral's attempts at gaining the trust of those he kidnapped. I suppose this gives you casual readers the motivation to check out both of our entries, doesn't it?