Disclaimer: Big Time Rush is the property of Nickelodeon etc., etc.

Til I Forget About You

Fighting

"Could I talk to Logan alone?" Camille asked.

Carlos let go of me, and took up a protective stance in front of me.

"No, you can't. Whatever you have to say to Logan, Camille, you can say in front of the rest of us. Isn't that right, Logan?" Carlos replied, turning back to look at me for affirmation.

"Actually, I probably should talk to Camille alone," I responded.

I saw the pure, unadulterated shock on Carlos' face. That clearly wasn't the answer he had been expecting. I also noticed a flash of hurt flicker on his face. He tried to hide it before I saw it, but it was to no avail. I frowned deeply. Why couldn't I stop hurting Carlos?

"We'll be right outside if you need us, Logan. Come on, Carlos," James said.

He walked over to Carlos, and wrapped an arm around his back, and as soon as he did, Carlos' face contorted in pain. James immediately pulled his arm back, and gave Carlos a concerned look.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" James asked.

"It's nothing!" Carlos exclaimed. "I just uh…slept on my back wrong last night. I've had this killer cramp in my back ever since I woke up this morning."

Carlos looked past James to wink at me. I wished I could feel as relieved as Carlos wanted me to. It's just when he was making up an excuse, his delivery of said excuse left something to be desired. Plus, Carlos kind of had a penchant for blurting out the truth; even when the truth was incriminating.

"Oh, okay," James replied, much to my relief.

Don't get me wrong though. I was still worried. If James was even the slightest bit suspicious, then he would corner Carlos and demand the truth. If that were to happen, I had no doubt in my mind that Carlos would cave and tell James what really went down between me and him. From there, things didn't look good for me because James and Carlos had always been really close.

XXXXX

Camille and I were the only ones left in the room now. Seconds ticked by in complete silence. For wanting to talk to me, she sure was being remarkably quiet. It was so quiet in fact, that the only sound that could be heard was the ticking of the wall clock's second hand.

"You said you wanted to talk to me," I said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah," she answered. She walked up to me, but I could tell that she wasn't sure how close was too close. She settled for standing five feet away from me. "Do you think you could give me a second chance?"

That was what she wanted to say to me? Was she serious? Silly me. Here I was thinking it would be something along the lines of an apology. Or maybe she would ask me how I was doing or something. I should have known better.

"That was your second chance, Camille!" I retorted.

Her first second chance came after I had forgiven her for kissing James. Forgiven being the operative word. I definitely hadn't forgotten about that. As much as I wanted to, I don't think I could ever forget about that. See, there was a nagging little voice in the back of my head that was certain there was more to that kiss than either of them were letting on.

"Well, could I have a third chance then?" she asked.

I turned away from her. I didn't want to see her reaction when I said what I was about to say to her.

"Why are we kidding ourselves? We already tried to make it work; twice. Maybe we should just come to terms with the fact that we just weren't meant to be together," I said.

A few rebellious tears streamed down my cheeks after I said that. I really cared about Camille, which was why it pained me to say what I just said to her. A part of me wondered that if it couldn't work with Camille, then would I ever find anyone else?

"Don't say that!" Camille exclaimed.

I spun around on my heels to face her. That's when I saw that she too was crying. She had her hand suspended in mid-air as she reached out to me. She just wasn't sure if I wanted her to try to comfort me or not. Frankly, I wasn't sure myself.

"Why not? We tried living together, and even that didn't work!" I replied.

"Don't shut me out, Logan. You know I love you," she responded.

"Oh really? Well then, if how you've treated me is you loving me, then I am just dying to see what you hating me is like!"

"How I've treated you? See? There you go again! Everyone else is always in the wrong! Don't even get me started on the fact that you couldn't even say, 'I love you' back to me! I mean usually when a girl says, 'I love you' to a guy, he replies with, 'I love you too' but not you!"

"Maybe because I don't! Did you ever think about that?"

She closed the distance between us, pulled back her hand, and slapped me hard across the cheek. My head was rocked to the side. Normally, her slapping me was a display of affection in some weird, twisted way, but this one was different; this one was meant to hurt.

"What are you even doing here? I thought you wanted me to die alone?" I remarked.

"Logan," she said, her voice softening considerably. "I didn't mean that."

"Then why did you say it?"

"It was one of those heat of the moment things."

I shook my head. People always tried to justify things they said in the heat of the moment by saying that they didn't mean it. I completely disagree. They meant it alright. They just didn't mean to say it out loud. Things said in the heat of the moment come from your subconscious, so you definitely mean it.

"I'm sorry, Camille, but I just can't do this anymore. Us I mean," I said, lowering my voice as well.

She grabbed me by the shoulders. Tears were streaming down her face as she looked at me. What was left of my resolve went out the window at the sight of Camille crying like that. Now, I was crying just as much, if not more, than she was.

"You don't mean that," she replied.

"Unfortunately, I do. I've opened my heart to you twice now only for you to go and break it. There's nothing for you to break anymore. There's nothing left of my heart, period," I said.

Camille held my face in between her hands as her lips crashed into mine. I was startled by her gesture, but at the same time, I've also come to expect it. She was the one doing all the kissing. I knew what she was trying to do, and I wasn't about to give in.

"Camille, stop!" I exclaimed, freeing myself from her.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't feel a spark anymore when I kiss you," she said.

The truth of the matter was that I did still feel a spark when she kissed me. The only problem was that it was no longer enough. Self-preservation was human nature. I was only trying to protect myself here. I just never imagined I would ever have to protect myself from Camille.

"You can't just throw yourself at me like that all the time!" I said, irritated.

"You can't even say it," she commented.

"It doesn't even matter, Camille! You are the reason I tried to kill myself! You are the reason I was on my way to the airport the night of the crash! You are the reason I wasn't in the right frame of mind to even be behind the wheel that night! You are the reason I was even in New York in the first place!"

"You're a coward, Logan Mitchell! At the first sign of trouble, you bolt! After James and I kissed, you broke up with me. After you and I fought in New York, you went and tried to kill yourself. You weren't entirely in New York just because of me. You wouldn't have been in New York if you didn't want to be in New York! I wasn't the one who sped out into oncoming traffic! That was you! It's so easy for you to point fingers, but it's not so easy for you to take responsibility for your own actions!"

The two of us were now back to shouting at one another. My pulse had rapidly accelerated. My heart felt like it was in my throat. My palms were all sweaty. I was shaking from head to toe. I hated confrontations.

"I'm sorry for being such a horrible person! I'm sorry for being such a horrible friend! I'm sorry for being such a horrible boyfriend! I'm sorry for being such a horrible patient! I'm such a waste of life! Maybe the life that was instilled in me should have went to some terminally ill person or someone who died some tragic death! I should have never been born!" I screamed back.

My knees could no longer support my unsteady weight, and they simply gave out on me. I sank to my knees, buried my face in my hands, and cried like I had never cried before. I just wanted it to all stop. I wanted Camille to stop yelling at me. I wanted to stop crying like a big baby. I wanted to just stop living.

"Logan, you're not a horrible person," Camille said gently to me.

"Go away, Camille! You've said your piece!" I hollered back.

"I can't just leave you like this."

"I said go away! Don't bother coming back either! You won't be on the visitation list!"

I heard the shuffling of footsteps and the sound of Camille's sobs. They gradually got fainter and fainter until I could no longer hear them. However, I heard a different pair of footsteps approaching. This person was bigger and heavier than Camille.

I removed my face from my hands, and struggled to wipe the seemingly infinite tears from my eyes so I could actually see. I felt a sharp pain just below my eye. My head was jarred to the side, and I was soon sprawled out on the floor.

"If you ever hurt Carlos again, you will get ten times worse!" James shouted at me.

I heard another pair of footsteps approaching; a different pair of footsteps. These were much lighter.

"James, I told you it was an accident!" Carlos cried out.

I couldn't see what was going on for a few different reasons; One, I was lying face down on the floor. Two, my vision was still obstructed by a haze of tears. Three, I could already feel my right eye start to swell up, and even if I hadn't been crying, I probably wouldn't have been able to see out of my right eye at all.

James, or at least I think it was James, left the room. Just based off the way he was walking, I could tell that he was really upset with me. I shouldn't have expected anything less; James and Carlos had always been extremely close.

"I'm so sorry about that, Logan. Are you okay?" Carlos asked.

"I'll be fine. Go after James," I replied.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

I heard Carlos scurry away after James. I lay there on the floor. My face hurt from where James had punched me. My eyes stung with tears. I was having difficulty breathing. My heart ached after everything that had just transpired. A part of me wanted to just continue laying on the floor. What was the point even picking myself up?

However, that is precisely what I did. My balance was off kilter as I rose to my feet shakily. I stumbled my way over to the wall, grabbing it for support. I furiously tried to wipe the tears from my eyes so I could see better. I left my room. I was really late for my therapy session, but that wasn't where I was going now anyways.

It wasn't long before I found what I was looking for. I couldn't trust my eyes to see, so I had to rely on another one of my senses; the sense of touch. A long time ago, I had learned Braille just in case I should ever need it. I was always uber-prepared like that. Anyways, after feeling the sign, I knew I had found the right door. The Braille on the sign read, 'Roof Access.'

To Be Continued…

A/N: Okay, so right now I feel like the worst Logan/Camille fan in the fandom. On another note, the Carlos/Logan story idea "Hold On" is currently in last place on the poll on my profile page. Just a reminder that you have until January 31st to vote if you haven't already. Hypothetically, if this were February 1st, then "Hold On" would have been the first story idea eliminated. Remember the story idea you want me to turn into an actual story doesn't need to win the poll in Round 1; it just needs to not finish in last.