A/N: I loved "Big Time Crush." I just can't figure out who was more of the star: Carlos or Logan? I loved Carlos and his speed dating and double dating. "I've got two dates. That's why it's called a double date!" "That's not why!" "Can I pick now?" "Stay out of this!" "This has nothing to do with you!" Then Logan masquerading as his grandma was hilarious too. For those of you keeping track at home, Logan has cross dressed the most of the four of them. He's cross dressed in 'Big Time Break,' and 'Big Time Crush' now. Carlos cross dressed in 'Big Time Pranks.' Kendall cross dressed in 'Big Time Sneakers.' James, unless I'm mistaken is the only one who hasn't. I loved the dynamic between Mrs. Knight and Logan. In fact, Mrs. Knight's only scene in the episode was her scene with Logan. She even called him 'honey.' Aww! It was so hilarious how Logan was hiding/cowering behind the couch/bench in the park. I loved how when Carlos tried to give Logan the flowers after decking him, Logan was all, "Really?" I think Logan and Camille make a much cuter couple than Steve and Camille. Even though they kept getting their signals crossed, I ended up only feeling bad for Logan, because he looked so sad sitting at the table by himself; plus since that happened later in the episode, it was fresher on my mind.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Big Time Rush. Then again, I wish for a bunch of things. What can I say? I'm a dreamer…

Til I Forget About You

Moving On

I had been at the Sycamore Treatment Center for two months now; it had been a little over seven weeks since I tried to jump off the roof of the building. When I did that, I was at my lowest; I had hit rock bottom. Now though, things were different; things were better. I had been taking my meds, and going to my daily therapy sessions with Dr. White.

I wasn't the same person I was before I left for New York, but now I was the closest I have been to that Logan in a long time. I had been making tremendous progress ever since my last suicide attempt. As a matter of fact, today was my last day at the Sycamore Treatment Center. I was going home today.

I heard a soft knock on the door. I looked up from my suitcase to see Dr. White standing in the doorway. She gave me a warm smile, and I returned her gesture.

"Are you all packed?" she asked.

"I think so," I replied.

I suddenly started to become very emotional. My vision was compromised by the tears leaking from my eyes. Words couldn't even begin to describe how grateful I was for her. She played a pivotal role in my road to recovery. The bond we shared with one another was practically maternal.

"I'm so proud of you, Logan," Dr. White said.

"Thanks! I couldn't have done this without you," I replied.

I noticed that I wasn't the only one getting emotional. Tears fell unchecked from her eyes. She didn't even bother to wipe her eyes or try to stop the tears from falling. She had told me that I reminded her so much of her son. I couldn't help but think that my leaving was in a way like her losing her son all over again.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I hope to never see you here again," she commented.

"No offense taken," I responded.

I walked over to her, and the two of us shared a hug. Honestly, I was scared. I had practically become dependent on Dr. White. What was to become of me when I was no longer at the Sycamore Treatment Center? What if I wasn't ready for the outside world quite yet? She had been with me every step of the way since I came here. What was I going to do now? Would I even be okay without her?

"Logie!" a familiar voice said, clearly excited.

I had barely let go of Dr. White when my helmet-wearing best friend nearly bowled me over when he ensnared me in an enthusiastic bear hug. It was a bit of a paradox; there was a huge smile on my face, yet I was crying. They were tears of joy, but also because Carlos was a bit too enthusiastic with his embrace.

"Carlos, I can't breathe!" I remarked.

"Oops! Sorry!" Carlos replied, quickly letting go of me.

Carlos' cheeks flushed red and he stared down at his shoelaces. I was so happy to see Carlos. Don't get me wrong; Kendall, James, and Carlos had visited me every day here at the Sycamore Treatment Center. It's just that this visit was clearly unlike any of the others. Today was the day I got to go back to the Palm Woods.

"Hey, buddy!" James greeted.

He came into my room, and tousled my hair. I rolled my eyes and groaned. I put a lot of work into spiking my hair just right. I let out an exasperated groan before trying to fix my hair.

"Are you ready to come home?" Kendall asked, clapping me in the back.

"You have no idea," I said, before realizing Dr. White was still in the room. "No offense, Dr. White."

"And that is my cue to leave. Take care, Logan," Dr. White said.

"Bye Dr. White," I responded.

As thrilled as I was to see my best friends, I found myself eyeing the doorway. I guess I kind of expected more visitors. I mean where was Katie? Where was Mrs. Knight? Where was…Camille?

Believe it or not, I actually hadn't seen Camille since our almost kiss the day I tried to jump. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop myself from wondering if maybe I had done something wrong. Had I upset her? Why hasn't she been by since? It seemed as though we were always in a constant state of limbo with one another.

"Ooh! Logie, wait until you see…" Carlos started to say, before James and Kendall elbowed him in the ribs. Carlos massaged his newly sore ribs. "Ow!"

Kendall made a shushing gesture while James made a throat slitting gesture. I eyed both of them curiously. I wondered what that was all about.

James walked up to me and draped an arm over my shoulder.

"Let's go home, buddy," he said.

XXXXX

The door to Apartment 2J swung open. I thought it was a bit fishy how Kendall, James, and Carlos all insisted that I enter first. My suspicion grew when I saw how dark it was in the apartment. Why weren't there any lights on? Was the power out? Was there even anyone else home? I flipped on the light switch.

"Surprise!" myriad voices chorused.

I was so startled that it nearly knocked my socks off. I swore that my feet literally left the floor. When I saw not only how many people, but who was gathered in the apartment, I was seriously touched. Camille, Jo, Tyler, Guitar Dude, Jett, Katie, Mrs. Knight, Gustavo, Kelly, Griffin, Mr. X, and even the Jennifers were there. Oh, and get this; Mr. Bitters was there too.

"Wow! I don't know what to say!" I exclaimed.

Apartment 2J was adorned with decorations. A huge 'Welcome Back Logan' banner hung on the wall in the living room. There were balloons and streamers of all colors everywhere. I kind of felt like an idiot; that was probably why only Kendall, James, and Carlos came to pick me up earlier.

I saw Kelly and Gustavo make their way over to me. Kelly gave me a hug.

"Logan, Gustavo has something he wants to ask you," Kelly said.

"I do?" Gustavo asked.

Kelly smacked him in the back of his head.

"How do you feel about joining the band once again?" Gustavo questioned.

I wished someone would pinch me because I was pretty sure I was dreaming. The Gustavo Rocque wanted me back? Most of the time, I wasn't even sure he liked me; I wasn't even sure he liked any of us really. I didn't realize I was that important to the group. I mean they managed to get all the way to number two on the weekly Top 40 countdown without me.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really," Kelly responded.

"Heck yeah!" I answered.

"Good, because we'll have to re-shoot two music videos and re-record three songs. Not to mention how you have four new choreography routines to learn, and five songs have been added to our set list. Plus, we have a concert in three days," Gustavo said.

My eyes bugged out, and my jaw hit the floor. Carlos waved his hand back in forth in front of my face, but I didn't so much as blink.

XXXXX

My welcome back party was still in full swing. Everyone had personally welcomed me back to the Palm Woods. Everyone else was doing their own thing; Carlos was trying unsuccessfully to get the Jennifers' attention, Kendall was off with Jo, but the biggest shocker of all was who James was with: Camille.

I sat and watched from afar as he had an arm wrapped around her shoulder. The two of them were sitting next to each other on the orange sofa. James bent down and kissed the top of her head. Camille tried to hide the fact that she was blushing by hiding behind a screen of hair.

I was at a loss for words. When did this happen? Was this why Camille hadn't been by to visit me? How long had the two of them been an item? How could James not tell me? Did anyone else know? If so, why didn't they tell me? Why did it even bother me so much in the first place? I mean Camille and I weren't together anymore. Sure, the last time I saw her prior to today, we almost kissed, but still, that's something, right?

I felt my eyes start to get moist. I couldn't watch this anymore. I got up, and slipped away to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me before going and sitting on the shower floor. I pulled the shower curtain shut even though there wasn't even anyone else in the bathroom with me at the moment.

This couldn't be happening. There was no way this could be real. James told me that Camille wasn't his type. Of course, they kissed twice after that, but James said they got caught up in the acting. Like an idiot, I believed him. I somehow convinced myself that there was nothing going on between Camille and James. Now this.

What about Camille? I thought she loved me? How can she just fall out of love with me? Is it even possible to fall out of love with somebody? What about our almost kiss? I guess I always thought that Camille would kind of be like my safety net; if I couldn't find romance elsewhere, I would always have Camille to fall back on. So much for that idea.

A part of me wondered what would have happened if I hadn't been at a psychiatric institute for the past two months. Would Camille and I be together then? Or would she still have ended up with James?

I didn't want to be a baby, but I couldn't stop the tears from falling. My heart ached. What if Camille was who I was supposed to end up with? Now that she's taken, does that mean I'll die alone? What if I never find anyone else? What if Camille was the love of my life? It was hard for me to be happy for James and Camille. I think in order to do that, I needed to get over the crippling betrayal I felt.

I heard the bathroom door creak open, and I heard someone, and I wasn't even sure how many, enter.

"There you are! We've been looking everywhere for you," Kendall said, opening the shower curtain.

"Are you okay?" Carlos asked.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, before giving them a shaky smile. I just got back from a psychiatric institute. The last thing they needed to think was that I had left too soon.

"How long?" I asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"How long?" Kendall asked, confused.

I was quickly growing irritated with the both of them. How could they just stand there and pretend that they had no idea what I was talking about? They had to know what was troubling me.

"How long have James and Camille been together?" I asked.

"Oh, that," Carlos said glumly.

"I think it's been about six weeks now," Kendall said.

Six weeks? Since it had been a little over seven weeks since my last suicide attempt, that meant that James and Camille only waited a week before they started going out. I felt like James and Camille had ripped my heart clean out of my chest, stomped on it, and then stuffed what was left of it back in my chest.

"Wait a second. You guys knew about this the whole time, and you never once thought about mentioning it to me?" I asked, raising my voice.

"We didn't want to upset you!" Carlos replied.

"Oh, well that mission failed miserably! How could this not upset me? More importantly, how could you keep this from me?" I screamed at them.

"Logan, I…" Kendall started to say.

"Save it Kendall! I don't want to hear any of your excuses! As a matter of fact, get out! Both of you! I just want to be alone!" I yelled.

Carlos was reluctant to leave me in my current state, but Kendall gestured with his head towards the door, and Carlos dragged his feet behind him. Kendall had already left the bathroom, but Carlos stopped in the doorway. He turned around to face me.

"For what it's worth, Logan. I really am sorry…for everything," Carlos said, before leaving the bathroom and quietly closing the door behind him.

To Be Continued…

A/N: Thank you to everyone who voted in Round 2 of the poll on my profile page. I received the same amount of votes as I had received in Round 1. Without further ado, here are the results: "Sink or Swim" sank, and "Hold On" couldn't hold on. Okay, that was lame. Anyways, that's right; they tied at the bottom of the poll, and thus we have our first double elimination. Round 3 of the poll is now underway, and will be held through February 14th, so go to the poll on my profile page and vote for your favorite.