Chapter Two: The Past Haunts.
The next day couldn't have come fast enough for Rachel but sadly, even though she was physically present in her classes, she could not for the life of her concentrate on what was going on around her. She sat in her classes in her usual seat, dead center of the class room, but her mind wasn't there. Not that her teachers noticed really, they were mostly glad that she wasn't the first to raise her hand when they asked the whole class a question. No, Rachel sat there, her head resting against the palm of her hand and she stared out the window, watching it as it rained outside. She blamed her lack of attention on the fact that she didn't receive her full twelve hours of sleep that she normally got during the night. As a girl her age, it was important for her to get the amount of sleep that was required to handle the everyday stress that she went through.
And once again, Rachel ignored the little detail of the fact of what kept her from her usual sleep routine was her thoughts of Jesse and the brief phone conversation they had.
"What's wrong with you, girl?"
Mercedes question brought Rachel out of her daze and she was forced to look back at the other self-proclaimed diva of McKinley. What could Rachel say? Informing 'Cedes about what happened would be a mistake. Mercedes had never been a fan of the romance between Jesse and Rachel, she and kurt were the first to accuse Jesse of only using Rachel to insure Vocal Adrenaline's victory. Granted, Mercedes had been right but Rachel knew that the other girl would not be particularly happy to learn of what Rachel did the night before.
"Nothing," Rachel finally responded. "Just tired. I made the mistake of staying up and working on a dance routine for my ballet class."
Mercedes nodded, she seemed to have believed Rachel's small lie, "Just remember to bring those movies to glee practice today. I'm going to go grab some lunch, see you later?"
Rachel gave a small nod and smile and she watched as Mercedes made her way into the cafeteria. Rachel moved to the opposite direction. She hadn't had the school's lunch since Figgins got rid of the Vegetarian option on the menu, so she was going to enjoy her vegetable stir fry with brown rice in the comfort of the choir room. She glanced into Mr. Schuester's office and gave a small sigh of relief when she didn't find the glee instructor sitting at his chair and she quickly sat down on one of the chairs that weren't stacked up. She knew better than to eat her lunch at the piano, so she had to wait a little while before she started to work on her song.
She looked down at her container and the plastic fork that resided in her hand and she let out a sad breath. How did she reach this point? Why did she let herself get to this point?
"Rachel."
She didn't look up, not at first. Her whole body stiffened at the sound of the familiar voice and she didn't know what to do. No, she didn't want to believe what she heard. It was simply her mind playing tricks on her.
"Rachel," Jesse repeated and Rachel listened as he casually walked further into the room as if nothing had happened. As if nothing was wrong between them. As if no time had passed since they were last in this choir room together.
Her gaze snapped upward and she glared at him. But slowly, her eyes washed over him and she examined what she saw. He wored a simple v-neck tee that was dark gray, a color that she always thought was nice on him, and a pair of black denim jeans. His arms were crossed over his chest and therer was a small, confident smirk set on his expression and she felt a lump form in her throat.
"What are you doing here? How did you get through campus?" Rachel quickly questioned, remembering vaquely that puck had threatened that he was going to punch Jesse's face off when he saw him again and she knew Noah had come to school today.
Jesse cleared his throat, his cool disposition hadn't diminished. "Which question do you want me to answer? Because one of them I'm pretty sure you know the answer of and I don't have to explain how one walks from the guest parking lot to here."
His sarcasm forced Rachel to glare at him more and she closed her container. Now, she was no longer hungry, sick from his presence and behavior. "Why are you here, Jesse?" She spat out as she carefully stood up. "Last time I checked you were in UCLA, miles away."
"My spring break starts a lot sooner than yours does," Jesse said simply. "So I took the time I was given to visit my old friends and family. I happened to be at a family dinner when you called yesterday."
Rachel's mind went back to the one time she had met his uncle, who Jesse had stayed with during his stint at McKinley, and instantly was reminded of the formality his family took during their dinners. "That may be, it still doesn't explain why you're here, at my school, in the middle of the choir room."
Rachel watched as Jesse quirked up an eyebrow at her. He rubbed his chin as if he were actually debating on how to answer her question. Her lips pursed and she shook her head out of frustration. But mainly at herself. She shouldn't have called him and she shouldn't have been thinking about him. His memory should have been long gone from her thoughts and because of her lapse of judgment, he thought it was alright to be standing here in front of her.
He cleared his throat, "I had not expected to hear from you at all, Rachel. I knew that after what I did, you would never reach out to me or try any sort of contact, so you can imagine my surprise when I received your call yesterday." His green eyes met her brown ones and yet again Rachel felt herself grow more confused. His gaze was conflicted, like the incident in the parking lot. "I wanted to contact you, so many times, to tell you how I feel: Regret, guilt and resentment. Or to tell you how much pressure I was under when I returned back to Vocal Adrenaline. But I could never get the courage to follow through and pick up the phone since a part of me knew you would never willingly answer my calls."
Rachel let out a small, sarcastic laugh and she looked away.
"But more importantly," Jesse continued, ignoring her actions, "I couldn't find the right words to form a proper apology."
Rachel looked up at him abruptly and her eyes narrowed slightly, "An apology?"
He took a step forward, "Yes, an apology."
She carefully placed down her food on the seat next to her and stood up. "And have you found the right words for this apology?"
Jesse gave a soft chuckle and took a step forward, "I am sorry, Rachel, for what I did. For humiliating you in front of all of Vocal Adrenaline in your school's parking lot. For betraying the little trust you had in me at the time and I'm sorry for destroying what we had." Rachel watched as he walked towards her, her eyes closing for a moment as he cautiously reached up and brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. "I missed you. My days are rather dull without your need for drama."
After only a slight hesitation, Rachel took a step back and decided that Jesse didn't have the right to stand that close to her, not anymore. But, his apology got him more points than she would have originally thought. Many nights Rachel laid awake knowing that she could never forgive him even if he presented her with an heartfelt apology, but now he gave one and Rachel's determination was wavering. Mainly because, Jesse wasn't the type to ask for forgiveness for something he had done.
"I don't expect you to forgive me," Jesse added as he uncrossed his arms and gave a small sigh. "But, I would like to be given a chance, to prove that I'm worth forgiving."
"You think you're worth forgiving?" Rachel whispered in disbelief.
"I know I am," He replied. "And I'm going to do whatever I can to prove it to you. Just give me the opportunity to do so, I promise I won't let you down."
Rachel could have pointed out how many times he had broken his promises, or how his previous actions proved that he wasn't one to be trusted but as she slowly looked up at him in his eyes, seeing that he was practically pleading her to do this one thing for him, she felt her resolve disappear. With a deep breath, she slowly nodded and in return was given a wide smile. The infamous Jesse showface. She rolled her eyes in response and returned back to her seat to finish her meal.
To her surprise, Jesse sat down next to her and leaned back casually. It brought back memories of them in New Directions together and it brought a small smile to her lips.
"So, what has been happening in the life of Rachel Berry?"