Happy April Fool's Day! I'll update my usual stories tomorrow...I just HAD to write a FMA prank fic though!
**If I owned FMA, Ed would be shirtless much more….MUUUUUUUUUUCHHHH more** ;]
Just saying, this is NOT yaoi!
Colonel Roy Mustang's screech could be heard all throughout the hallway.
"FUUUUUUUUUULLLMETALLLLLL!"
Edward Elric could be seen running down the hallway.
He had a guilty, yet smug expression on his face. Anyone who saw him saw him, but did not know him would think he had done something awful! Something he was proud of too…something…like a dirty prank?
The only thing was, the people who had seen him knew Ed, and knew what day it was. They were not surprised. Curious would be a better word. Whether they were curious on what Ed had done to poor Roy, or what Roy would do to poor Ed, was unknown.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, today was April 1st; National Prank Day.
Every year, for as long as Edward had been a state alchemist, this day caused havoc in the office of Roy Mustang; Ed's superior officer. Every year, Roy would fall for every damn trick. And every year, Edward would get away with it.
Not this year!
Roy looked around his office, which was painted pink! Maybe just MAYBE Roy wouldn't have minded a light pink, or something not noticeable…but THIS…THIS was a bright "ISN'T THIS A SEXY GIRLY SHADE?" pink. Not only that, but all of his files were out of order, and a cheeky looking doodle of Roy was inked onto the top of his desk.
Each time an officer came into his office to ask what was the matter, Roy felt his dignity grow smaller, and smaller, and smaller and- NO! Every year, Ed's pranks got worse and worse…and it has only been three years! Who knows what they will be like in two, or three more years! Roy needed to get even. Roy needed to get even NOW.
He stood up from his chair, and marched over to the only person who could help…
"I must admit, Ed's pranks sometimes can go too far, but do you seriously think it is right to actually sink down to his level? After all, no offence, but he's only…thirt-no fourteen, and you're…older! At least Fullmetal can barely manage to get away with it…" Riza shifted positions and looked at Roy with a very cryptic look in her eyes.
…Okay, maybe Riza wasn't that helpful… but maybe Roy could make her…
"Riza, if you help me, I will give you a raise for one month!" Roy blurt out. Riza looked very skeptical, but her eyes began to glow.
"Shit, I really should THINK before saying crap like that" Roy moaned to himself.
"What is it that you want me to do, sir?"
"Damn, I never thought she would fall for the 'I'll give you a raise' thing…I guess I was wrong…"
Mustang shifted from one foot to the other and shrugged. He never thought he would even get this far…so now there was another problem:
HOW THE HELL WAS HE GOING TO GET BACK AT FULLMETAL?
"You don't have an idea, do you, sir?"
"Not a clue, I want to show him not to mess with me, but not enough to get court marshaled…"
"I see…" Suddenly a very rare seen smirk appeared on Hawkeye's face.
She sat down next to Roy and told him her plan.
Riza walked down the hallway and passed Edward. She stopped and tried to act as calm and normal as possible.
"Edward, Colonel Mustang would like to see you. He said it's important…"
Ed nodded and thanked Hawkeye, he reluctantly made his way down the hall. He looked like a child who was caught sneaking a cookie from the cookie jar.
As he opened the door, Ed saw Roy sitting at his desk with a serious look on his face.
Suddenly, Roy's eyes changed expression, and he began to look Edward up and down.
Most people who know Roy well would call this his 'womanizing face.'
Roy, still looking…flirty, cleared his throat and gestured to his walls, and then picked up the drawing.
"Care to explain?" His voice sounded stern, but also had a bit of amusement to it.
Ed looked down at his platform boots and opened his mouth to speak. Roy leaned closer to the boy and sniffed him deeply.
"Cool water…" Roy murmured, looking up at the boy through his lashes.
"Holy shit! The look on his face is PRICELESS! C'mon Roy, hold a straight face…hold a straight face!"
"E….excuse me?" Ed demanded, turning pink in the cheeks.
"Cool water…" Roy mused. "With a hint of seaweed…"
Edward took a step back from the man, clearly oblivious to the man's plan, and clearly freaked out.
"Y…yeah? What's it to you, bastard?" Ed smoothed his face from any confusion, and glared at Roy. Ed took another step back, and sat on Roy's couch.
"It smells…nice…" Roy stated matter-of-factly. He stood up from his desk and plopped next to the boy. He sniffed deeply again, only this time into Ed's golden hair.
"You…" Roy blushed as he began to fiddle with Ed's braid. He looked like he was having a hard time saying whatever he was saying. "…You have very interesting hair…it's so pretty and soft, but also tough, and bold..I like that, Ed."
Ed flipped his hair out of Roy's grasp, and scooted farther away from Roy.
"Ooh..playing hard to get I see.."
"WHAT THE HELL? DID RIZA DRUG YOUR WATER OR SOMETHING?"
"I only had a few drinks…come here Ed…"
Roy grabbed the collar of Ed's shirt and pulled him close. His mouth was dangerously close to Ed's and Ed turned BRIGHT red. He could smell the alcohol on Roy's breath.
He pushed Roy off of him and stood up. Then he thought better and smacked him.
"WHAT THE HELL YOU PEDO! SAVE THIS STUFF FOR HAWKEYE! NOT ME!"
With that Ed RAN out of Roy's office with a traumatized look on his face. The few officers who asked what was wrong only got a 'look' and a "that damn colonel." For an answer.
Riza, who was hovering outside the office, made her way into the room to see Roy on the ground with a bright red swollen cheek.
"He just HAD to use his automail…" Roy moaned.
"Haha, nice touch on pretending to be drunk…how did you get away with that?"
"Oh you know…just swished some stuff around my mouth, and hoped for the best…"
"I see…" Riza pulled out her gun and show near the colonel.
"WHAT THE HELL?"
"THAT MENT YOU HAD ACOHOL WITH YOU!"
"….."
Riza huffed, but then smoothed her expression and began to leave.
"Don't forget my raise, Sir…"
"Yes m'am…"
DONE! HAHA! Sorry if it sucks! Also this is NOT yaoi!
Please review! Byee!
~Kat Nap