Title: Curse This Sexist World!

Sum.: While Francis already knew, Arthur was the one most impacted by the news. Alfred F. Jonesis female.

Sum.2: AU In an exclusive, international all-boys college, Avery is in disguise of a male. Since this school has the best chance of helping her become a pilot for the U.S. Air Force, why not spend four years as a guy? Of course, she didn't even think that maybe, just maybe, one of her room mates would be smitten with her, she would find her long-lost twin brother, her ex-boyfriend would be there—oh, and that she'd fall in love?

A/N: Blah. R&R and enjoy! (P.S. Some of the things she freaks out over are things I freak out over. *nods*)

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Chapter 2: The Reason I Need My Fridays to Myself

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My excitement when I found out my brother had Fridays free was indescribable.

I mean, this was the time he'd get to see me in all of my girly glory—

Oh hell. That sounded bad.

Let me explain. I used to not have any days free. I used to have Trig on Fridays and Tuesdays, but I got sick of being a guy 24/7. So I asked Francis and Arthur about their schedules. And they both had Fridays full from eight in the morning to five in the afternoon. (Arthur always met up with his family because they made it a tradition or whatever, Francis always planned his dates on that day, and they both had two one-hour long courses to sit through.) So what did I do? I moved my Trig to Wednesdays and spent Fridays as a girl. Locked up in my dorm room. (Hahaha Rapunzel-sounding, right?)

A few times there were close calls, where one or the other would return to grab something. I was lucky that Francis never paid attention to me, and Arthur always called beforehand for politeness sake.

So that was why I was in a pair of jean shorts, a tank top, and my hair out of the boy-ish looking wig, wheat-blonde locks pulled into a tight high ponytail, the bottom of it reaching my collarbone.

I sat in the desk chair, my back leaning against one armrest and my legs hanging over the other.

I was currently picking my teeth with a sharpened pencil and texting Gilbert, who was in class.

There was a knock on the door, and I jumped.

"Yo, who is it?" I called in my guy voice.

"Alfred, it's Matthew."

I rolled my eyes. "Door's unlocked." I yelled in my normal, soprano (and feminine) voice.

He stepped inside and shut it behind him, glancing around before staring at me in shock.

"Your hair is longer, eh," he stated.

I rolled my eyes and set the pencil down. "No dip, Sherlock. I stuff it up in a wig so I look less girly." I paused. "Of course, my wicked guy-voice skillz probably would work, too, but my face is female enough so people would definitely comment on it." I focused back on my phone.

He rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to talk, but, without looking up, I interrupted him. "Hey, did you pick up my mail like I asked?"

He nodded and tossed me a pile of envelopes. Most of them (read: ten of them) were from my mom, although one was from my step-dad and two were from friend's from my high school.

All of them had been sent to my house off school grounds. When I first started coming here, I bribed the postal service man that was assigned my neighborhood's route, giving him ten bucks each month to deliver all of my mail from that house to the school mail box. Of course, he had to do it all on his own time, and he also had to re-label the send address, but he makes a hundred and twenty bucks a year off of me, so he's fine with it.

I opened the one from my friend Alessandro first, quickly reading through his ranting about how his girlfriend, Katherine, hadn't accepted his fifth proposal. I rolled my eyes then read the letter from Katherine, wanting to know what her side of the story was.

I snickered. Apparently Alessandro had proposed again because Katherine was going to visit family in Delaware for a week and he was scared she was going to ditch him.

Oh how adorable our favorite little Mexican friend could be.

I tossed the two aside then trashed the letter from my mother's husband.

Matthew gave me a curious look. "That's very rude, you know."

I rolled my eyes. "It's from my mom's husband."

"Oh. I say you should burn it, eh." We both laughed. Last night, via text message, I had discovered me and him shared a mutual dislike for our parent's remarriages.

"Ha! Is that what you do with your step-mom's letters?"

"And or send them throw a shredder a few times." We high-fived, then I began emptying the contents of the envelopes from my mother. She promised she'd only write once a month, but every time she found something she thought I'd like, she'd send it to me.

Now, let me inform you, there are only three things in the world that can make me act like a total chick: rabbits, mice, and babies.

Somehow, my mother combined all three in those ten envelopes. In her letter, she informed me of a mouse she had found in her washing machine. While I was immediately freaked out that such a thing could happen, I was happy that the mouse had been discovered before it drowned. She also told me about how she had found five baby rabbits in her vegetable garden and was keeping them as pets. She sent, like, twenty photos in one of the other envelopes, and I "awww"ed as I saw them. She had named them Strawberry, Tomato, Chives, Lettuce, and Melon, since those were the said plants the rabbits had been eating before her husband caught them.

I showed the photos to Mattie and he smiled. "Good naming sense."

I dug around, finding perfume samples, pictures of drop-dead gorgeous lipstick models, and—

I squealed in absolute delight as I saw the post-card sized advertisement.

I swear Mattie jumped about five feet in the air. "What the hell, eh?"

I showed him the paper.

He blinked. "What's so special about that?"

"I swear I'm about to cry, Mattie!" I was extremely hurt. "Can't you understand that when a girl sees something absolutely adorable, she has to vocally show it?"

"It's just an advertisement for—" he peered at the words, "'hand-sculpted, palm-sized baby dolls.'"

I pouted. "That's putting it lightly." I stared closer at the "Heavenly Handfuls"™ picture. On the front, there were what appeared to be three babies held in someone's hands. On the left was a baby in a yellow hat, outfit, and baby booties. In the middle was a newborn with its eyes closed, a fluffy looking blue coat (complete with hood) and matching booties on, and a pink button sewn onto the bottom corner. And on the right was a pudgy baby, a white bonnet on its head and a rose-decorated pink dress on, as well as white baby booties.

AND ALL OF THEM LOOK ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!

I wanted to cry. "Mattie, promise me you'll buy me one when my birthday comes up!"

He took the card out of my hand. "How about I buy you all four?"

"THERE'S FOUR?" He nodded and pointed to the list on the back.

I squealed and threw my arms around him. "You're so nice, Mattie! I love you so much!"

"You've only known me for half a day, eh."

"And you are buying me four baby dolls that are absolutely adorable," I retaliated.

He shrugged. "It's only about a hundred and twenty bucks for all of them."

I immediately pulled away, staring at him in shock. "Only? It would take me six months just to earn that!"

He blinked at me. "Really? I'd just have to ask my dad for it and he'd give it to me right away."

I pouted. "Why did you get the rich parent?"

"Because I'm the boy and he's the dad."

"And it is reasons like that which push me to dress as a boy."

He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, when's your birthday?"

I snickered. "Nice question, Mattie."

He blinked then chuckled. "Touché. For future reference, I celebrate mine on Canada day."

I stared at him blankly. "When's that?"

He facepalmed. "July first."

I "oh"ed. "I just celebrate mine the day it is."

He rolled his eyes. "That is because you are American, and thus July fourth seems more celebratory."

I shrugged then went back to looking through the stuff, carefully setting the "Heavenly Handfuls"™ card to the side.

"You know, if your maternal side is so in love with those dolls, I could buy them for you for Christmas."

I had completely forgotten that the holiday was just around the corner. I threw my arms around him again, pulling him into a tight hug. "Thank you, Mattie! You're the best brother I could ever ask for!" I squealed, pulling away in time to see the blush spread across his face.

"And you're the loudest sister I could ever have the patience for, eh," he said with a slight smile.

Right at that moment, my phone started ringing. I quickly answered it.

"Heeeellloooo, Alfred Fuck-Yeah Jones speaking, what heroic task can I perform for you today?"

"Alfred? I'm going to be in the room in a minute, so you better be working, you git."

I blinked. "Where are you at right now?"

"I'm waiting for the elevator. Why?"

My eyes widened. That was definitely not enough time to change out of my clothes—like I could do that with Mattie here, anyway.

"Okay, well knock before you come in. Mattie's here and I'm about to hop into the shower."

Oh well. A shower couldn't do me any harm.

I could hear the anger in his voice. "You're getting into the shower, and Matthew is there? What the bloody hell have you been doing?"

Well, he probably wouldn't react very well if I said "brotherly bonding."

"He was just helping me with my Physics assignment, and then I got a call from…um…"

Mattie blinked, an idea sprouting in his head. "Felixia," he mouthed.

"From Felixia—" my eyes widened. Noooooo!

"And?" Arthur asked, just as I heard the elevator door shut behind him.

I sighed. "I told her I'd go on a date with her tonight, so I need to not smell."

Arthur was royally pissed at that statement. "I thought you said you don't have time for dates with your Physics class!"

I sighed. "Well, Mattie is here to help me and all, so…"

I could practically hear him grounding his teeth. "Okay. Whatever. I don't care."

"Arthur, I—" he hung up before I could finish.

I sighed. "Alright, open my textbook for me. I'm going to start the shower, I guess…"

Matthew nodded, then hesitated. "I don't have to do your Physics assignment, do I?"

I smiled sweetly at him. "It would make our plan more authentic."

He groaned.

Just as I locked the bathroom door behind me, I heard the front door slam shut, and Arthur talking loudly to Matthew.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, then looked at the mirror. Another reason I never went on dates was because, in the midst of passionate kissing (which I didn't want to happen but couldn't deny a girl because guys don't do that), my wig might very well come off.

I glanced at the counter, where a pair of salon scissors (Francis', since he insists that his hair has to be perfectly trimmed) lay.

This would be excruciatingly, emotionally painful.

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I stepped out of the shower, smelling like Axe soap, and peeked my head out the door.

"Is Arthur gone?"

Matthew looked up from the desk and nodded, then gave me a curious look. "Why is your wig—" He gaped at me as everything snapped into place. "You cut your hair?"

I nodded and tugged at a chin-length strand. While my wig had been slightly shorter, my hair was a good universal length. I still felt like a girl with this haircut, but could still pass off as a boy.

"I think it looks better this way," I mumbled, tucking the front most strands behind my ear.

He blinked. "Well, I mean, it looks good, I'm just kind of shocked." He then sat up straighter as he realized something. "You need to call Felixia."

I groaned and facepalmed. "So that was what my mind was blocking me from remembering. Damnit." I then noticed that I still had a towel around my chest. I blushed.

"Um, Mattie, I know it's kind of impolite, but could you maybe step out into the hall so I can…"

His eyes widened and a matching blush spread across his cheeks. "Yeah, yeah. Just, um, yell when you're ready…" he quickly fled from the room, obviously as embarrassed as I was.

I sighed and locked the door, just in case Francis tried to get in (although that would only stop him until he remembered he had a key). I let the towel fall onto the floor and I shivered in the cold. I quickly dashed over to my dresser and dug around for some good-looking but baggy clothes.

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As soon as I finished binding my chest flat enough, I tugged on a loose black collared button-up.

While I was only in boxers and a shirt but tugging on pants, I heard the sounds of a key turning into a lock.

Damnit, I cursed. I did not have time for Francis' perving.

I tried to tug my pants on as fast as I can but ended up falling flat on my stomach, my chin landing hard on the carpeted floor.

Francis slid into the room, despite Mattie's protests, and locked the door behind him.

I growled at him, baring my teeth like a dog.

He chuckled and held his hands up. "I come in peace."

I snorted then rolled onto my stomach and tugged my pants on, my chin hurting like crazy from the fall. "I don't need you groping me while I'm half-dressed, you perverted old man!" I mumbled as I stood up and zipped my pants. I was now in wicked awesome faded black jeans and my silky black shirt. I loosely tied my blood-red tie around my neck and fixed it so it was lazily under my collar. I turned to my roommate as I tugged on red and black checkered Vans. "Why are you here, then, if you aren't here to shamelessly molest me?"

He chuckled. "Mon Mathieu told me you cut your hair. Although I hadn't ever realized you even had hair long enough to cut," He eyed my hair, which was quite obviously longer than the wig.

I rolled my eyes and pointed about two inches below my collar bone. "My real hair used to be down to here."

He pouted. "And I hadn't ever seen the real thing…"

I rolled my eyes. "I have pictures from high school you can look at. My hair was just as long then as it was last week." He nodded, his eyes studying my outfit.

"Bien," he commented just as he let Matthew in.

I turned to Mattie. "What does that mean?" Mattie knew French, right?

"It means 'good' or 'nice'."

I flapped my hand at Francis. "Oh, flattery won't get you anything, pervert."

He chuckled. "If I wanted something I would simply take it, non?" I rolled my eyes and then doused my self in more Axe.

"But what are we to tell mon cheri when he asks about why your hair is longer?"

I had already thought of that while in the shower. "Easy. We tell him that you had one of your dates cancel on you today and that you decided to test a French beauty secret on me and somehow it made my hair look longer."

Matthew snorted. "That would simply be straightening your hair, Avery."

I blinked and messed with my hair. "My normal hair was straighter than the wig?"

Mattie nodded.

"Hm."

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Heeehee~ I almost made her say "Easy! We tell him Yao tested an ancient Chinese secret on me and it made my hair grow longer!" That is an excuse my friend had used when I questioned her lengthier hair. (I later found out it was hair extensions LOL)

Review! R&R! Next chapter is the date, and then Avery uses her womanly charm to seduce one of her college friends into taking her on a date! (Heehee, I bet none of you will be able to guess who it is! ;D)

P.S. Alessandro is Mexico, and Katherine is Delaware. The two don't actually have any alliance or anything, but I always pair the two together when I write them. Katherine is usually depicted as older than America, since Delaware was the first state. If I ever find a proper place to put it, I'd also use Topper (a large island in the middle of the Atlantic, dot-on the equator, that is completely English claimed. However, I usually portray Topper as Arthur's older brother. *shrugs* Who knows?) Oh! And, just for shit and giggles, even Avery and Mattie's step-parents have basis of real things, except they are actual people who existed and not geographical locations! When the time comes, you'll see~ ;)