This world is another world's hell. It's cunning and tricky and kniving, and the worst time of your life can be the best time of somebody else's.

Leonidas Thorne learned this when he was eight years old. He just popped up in the Cartman household, and the first thing that entered his mind was that he had never seen such happiness in his entire eight years of life, had never felt such happiness, had never heard of such happiness.

And instead of the emotion spreading to him, he felt alone.

The happy aura was spread all around the room. Laughter and smiles were there, too. Laughter and smiles - two words Leo hardly ever said in his head.

There was also another realization that Leo had come to the very moment he had entered that house. He missed his mommy and he missed his daddy and he missed his Grandpa and he missed all of his friends back in Hell. And he knew he wasn't gonna see them again for a real long time. You don't know what you've got until it's gone - all of a sudden, that quote was beginning to make all of the sense in the world to young Leo.

He stood there for about ten seconds, staring blankly and observing the happy family. There was Cartman, and now Leo had just begun to see how immensely huge he was in comparison to the man who he assumed was Cartman's husband, Kyle. Kyle had his arms locked around Cartman's waist. His hair was nearly identical to Leo's except for the color - it was vibrant red, and, was cut short. Cartman had to lean down to kiss Kyle, and on Cartman's shoulders was a little girl who looked about seven years old and had her tiny hands in Cartman's hair, and she resembled Kyle very much.

But where was the other kid?

Leo sorted through his memory. His mother did say Cartman had two kids, didn't he?

And then the question was answered for him.

A boy whom was the stunning image of Cartman walked in to the room. He was smiling, and he was smiling. But it had become apparent to Leo - he didn't know why - that he wasn't smiling in the same way that the rest of his family was. It was more of a casual smile that Eric Cartman had wore at the boy's age, the smile that annoyed Kyle Brofloski to no end. He wasn't the same as the others. It wasn't like in any way his life had changed.

'Ma,' he adressed Kyle, 'where is all the food?'

Kyle laughed. 'Now that's my Jacob.'

Jacob. So that was his name.

It was then that Jacob was the first person to notice Leo. And the demon noticed this before Jacob even said anything to him.

'Hey, you!' Jacob yelled, and with that the rest of the family turned to see the young eight year old whose body was partially shrouded by the couch. 'Who are you and what are you doing in our house?'

'My name is Leonidas, but everybody calls me Leo.' The boy walked in to the Cartman family's full prescence and formally made his introduction. 'Cartman...um, he agreed to let me stay here while my parents worked things out.'

'What?' Kyle simply asks.

Cartman begins to explain to himself. 'This is Pip and Damien's son. They had some complications down in Hell, so Leo has to stay up here on earth. I agreed to let him stay here with us.'

Kyle got on to his tip toes and whispered in Cartman's ear, 'And you arranged this without informing me?'

Cartman whispered back, 'Listen, Jew, where you there to make arrangements with me? And besides...it just happened. I don't know why I said it.'

Kyle sighed in digust. 'Dandruff just happens, Cartman. The Grandson of the Devil staying with us as a houseguest doesn't just happen.'

'Listen, Kyle,' Cartman whispers back, 'this is the way it's gonna be for a while. No use trying to change things now.'

'We'll discuss this later on.'

Little did Cartman and Kyle know, their awkward conversation was heard not only by Marie, but also by Leo. Leo didn't say anything, but Marie opened up her mouth and started babbling.

'Why can't he stay, Mommy? He doesn't seem to be a mean boy.'

Kyle glared at Cartman in a look that says, You didn't even let Marie down from your shoulders, you asshole. Leo stares at the Cartmans blankly before stating his opinion.

'Mrs. Cartman -'

'Oh, please call me Kyle.' The Jew remembered back to his first time being called Mrs. Cartman. It was a really weird name for him, let alone the fact that Kyle Cartman didn't sound very good.

'Kyle...' said Leo, 'I don't have to stay here if you don't want me to. It was just a retarded suggestion Cartman made because he was real happy about seeing you guys and his brain couldn't function right.' He looks at Cartman suggestingly, and Cartman nods 'Thank you'. 'But I'll explain to you why I'm here. This isn't just like 'a few months stay because Mommy and Daddy are going to the motel'. The End of Time is coming soon, and for some reason, God wants me to battle. I'm here just to stay with you guys until I'm old enough to be on my own.'

The red head has this odd look on his face. Not angry exactly, but rather, puzzled. Who wouldn't be, though?

'You can stay,' he says, nodding slowly.

Nobody knew what to say after this. Finally, Marie broke the silence.

'Good,' she chirrups. 'You can sleep in the guest room.'

...

So this was a normal family. And this was surprisingly a good movie.

The credits zoomed after the ending of The Emperor's New Groove, and Marie was already begging to put on another movie.

'No, Marie,' said Kyle, 'we've done enough celebrating for one night. It's time to go to bed.'

In spite of Cartman constantly telling his son not to throw popcorn at the floor and Marie showing Leo all of the pictures she drew as a small child, asking him how pretty they were (surprisingly, they weren't all that bad for the handiwork of a four year old), Leo was able to focus on the movie. It was a movie made for kids his age, just like all those stories Pip had read him before they went to bed were for kids his age, but this one he actually enjoyed.

Marie yielded to her mother's orders easily and went to bed, but Jacob whined a little before going to bed. Both children nicely told their parents 'Good night' - though Jacob's voice was a little grumpy. Sitting on the floor Indian style, Leo looked up at Kyle and asked, 'Do I have to go to bed?'

'Yes,' said Kyle. 'The guest room is right next to Jacob's room.'

'May I go get a drink of water?'

'Sure thing,' said Kyle. 'In the fridge.'

'Good night, Kyle.'

'Good night...Leo,' Kyle replied, and the last Leo heard of Kyle for that night was his footsteps walking away.

Cartman had fucked off to God knows where a minute before the movie ended, so Leo didn't have to see much of his bulbous frame as he made his way to the refridegerator. He opened up the fridge and the light lit up the place. He grabbed the container countaining the water and poured it in to a tall, clear glass. The fridge slammed behind him and he left the container on the counter; he was sure he was going to want more anyway.

He sat down at the kitchen table and slugged down the liquid in the cup as if it was nothing at all. Then he replenished the glass again. And again. And as he finished quenching his thirst and the glass slammed against the table for the last time, he saw out of the corner of his eye something leaned against the wall.

He looked a little closer. Written in purple glitter on a black, flat stone was In Memory of the Cartman Family: Kyle, Marie and Jacob Brofloski. Just remember that even in death, Daddy loves you. It glinted even in the dark so that the eight year old could read the neat, round handwriting. And sitting next to that was a tiny little teddy bear with a red bowtie.

Then the fat ass came in.

Automatically, he saw the little boy at the table.

'Who said you could still be up?'

'Kyle did,' replied Leo. 'I wanted a drink of water.'

'I'm pretty sure he said a drink of water, not a whole bunch of 'em. Now put that away and get in to bed.'

Leo smiled at this and obeyed Cartman. Cartman fetched something out of the cabinet as Leo put the water back. He gazed at Cartman after he was done. The ex-Nazi popped something in his mouth. A pill, Leo figured.

'Hey Cartman?'

'Yeah?'

Leo asks his question. 'I was just wondering...that stone with the teddy bear...what is -?'

'It's a memorial,' said Cartman, looking at Leo for a minute in a way Leo had never be looked at before. 'From the invasion.'

'Oh.'

Cartman stayed there for another second, and Leo was just beginning to notice the man was shirtless. He wondered if he and Kyle would be doing some decent fucking in the bedroom when he was zonked out on sleeping pills, and as soon as he thought it he felt a little creepy. But his prediction was probably true...

'Um...well, kid, if you need anything than just let me know, okay?'

'Okay,' says Leo, and he wonders if Cartman is deliberately being so nice to him really because his dad scares the shit out of him. Probably. 'Uh...Good night.'

'Good night, kid.'

...

Three-thirty in the morning.

Insomnia was the fucking worst.

Stressed out and bare-assed, the demon pulled the covers off, flicking on the light and digging in to his luggage and retrieving a pair of boxers, which he slipped on. He held his head in his hands for a minute, exhaling, his head in extreme pain. He didn't know what to do. Without knowing his exact wants, he dug even farther in to his luggage and got his notebook and a pen, and he had begun to write.

Grandpa,

Dad is probably going to give this to you. He said to just burn this and it'll end up with him. I just wanted to say that I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself. I have plenty of time, I know that, but I just have this feeling I'm gonna let you down by the time it's time to fight...I'm sorry already.

I love you,

Leo

He rips that piece of paper out of his notebook and starts another one.

Mom and Dad,

I miss you guys already. Cartman and Kyle are real nice, but being with them...is just weird. Do you have any idea when I'll be back, aside from a long time?

I love you guys,

Leo

He hears footsteps swiftly down the hallway, and he can practically think of shadows dancing and quivering on the walls. Leo pulls on his jeans which were casually fucked on the floor and makes his way outside. He goes in to the kitchen and sees a tall figure kneeling on the counter, the cabinet open.

'Jacob?'

He doesn't say anything back to Leo, just grabs the bottle full of pills and hops down.

'What?' he asks.

'Um...why aren't you asleep?'

'Can't,' says Jacob. 'Why aren't you?'

'Insomnia.'

'Eh...that's why we have these.' He held up the case of Tylenol PM. 'You want some?'

'Yeah, that'd be nice.'

Jacob went and poured two glasses of water as Leo waited patiently. Soon the pills were down their throats and Leo asked, 'I have insomnia because I want to go home. Aren't you happy you're home for the first time in a long time?'

Jacob waits a second before saying, 'No, not at all.'

'What? Really?'

'Yeah, really.' He puts the glass in the sink, and just when Leo thinks he's not gonna say anything, he says, 'It's just gonna go back to the same as always. Even after all we've been through, normalcy will return. Happiness never lasts for long.'

Leo didn't say anything, but he studied the face of the boy who looked so much like Cartman. He was so handsome, so attractive, so tall. But the dark circles under his eyes...

'...Good night, Leo.'

'Good night...'

And that first night, Leo looked up at the ceiling, thinking about Jacob and that look on his face, that look...and that sound to his voice...

...Until he fell asleep.

And Leo had many sleepless nights afterward.

Next time there's a surprise...