"Orange Tang, Lemon Tang… finally" she found the password through the gargoyle.
"Professor, my friend has a problem. She's an animagus and she's stuck in this form. Help?" McGonagle looked at her sternly.
"Ahh. Well, since she is a snake, Harry can talk to her."
"OK."
The aforementioned professor came into the room a few minutes later. "You mewled Professor?"
"This snake is an animagus, speak to it." Harry rolled his eyes. He would never live down the fact he was a parseltmouth.
"Here goes nothing Who are you?"
"Jewls."
"Ah, stubborn are you. I mean, what is your human name"
""Not gonna tell ya, but I'll tell ya this. I an American first year, who should have gone to a magical highschool, not Hogwarts, and that is in a country where we have a president, not a corrupt organization run by nutters." It was obvious that whoever this person was didn't think highly of the Ministry.
"Wow. You certainly are strange. Why were you in your animagus form?"
"Last night, I met a snake. He showed me placed where only animals can go. This night, I brought my friend Desss with me. Now I'm stuck as a snake."
"Don't worry, I won't turn you into the ministry. Could you describe the snake to me?"
"He was completely black, even his eyes. Hiss name was Nighssstar."
"Professor, I think Snape has been showing her around the school at night."
"That was Professor Snape! The man who treats me like the next generation of Potters? No offense Professor Potter, but the fact that Snape hated you got around, even in the US." Celestia was shocked. The black snake that had shown her many things, had adopted her (sort of) in this home away from home, was Snape? She hissed, thrashing her tail back and forth, knocking over a few spindly instruments as she did.
"Yes, Jewls. Finite Incantitum!" The spell had no effect, even though it was usually used to force an animagus back to it's human shape. There was a flash, but nothing else.
"I'm sorry Jewls, it's seams you've been cursed. I didn't know Snape could do wandless magic. We're going to have to talk to him."
"YOU IDIOT HOW DARE YOU CURSE A DEFENSELESS GIRL SO SHE'S STUCK AS AN ANIMAGUS!"
Snape shrugged, not even looking up from grading papers. "Listen, I've found an unregistered animagus, aren't you happy?"
Celestia started spitting furiously, baring long sharp fangs, the snake in her obviously showing "I trusted you, I trusted you, Snape, I hate you, greasy idiot, I hate you, I hate you, I trusted you, Sssnape." Harry translated each phrase once.
"Oh whatever I don't care."
"It's not as if you aren't unregistered, Blackstar." Harry translated this again. "You broke my trust. Remember, I am a student. I go to Hogwarts. I have parents in the US, my mother the Principle of The Salem Witch Institute, my father is Presssident of Magic. I could get you fired."
"Snape, I'll have to fire you if you don't lift the curse. UNDERSTAND!"
"Yes, I understand. Humanis Animagus" Celestia turned back into a human, gave Snape a death glare, and went back up to the Griffindor tower, and went to sleep.
Contrary to popular belief, Severus Snape was not emotionless. The curse he'd placed on the girl had supposed to last for just about the amount of time it took to get to the Griffindor tower. Not only did it keep her in her snake form, it hid him from view, so he could get into the Griffindor common room. He had been told to spy in the common room, and what better way to spy then to hide in the shadows.
He'd instead forced her to stay a snake for many hours. He'd grown fond of the snake in just one night, and felt like a father to her. And then he realized who she was, when she was transformed back into a human. Now he wished that he hadn't been so cruel to her in Defence Against the Dark Arts.
So, the great Severus Snape, ex-Death Eater and ex-Potions Master, betrayer of Voldemort, slept, troubled still, years later, of screams of the victims on death eaters, except now, the victim was Celestia Harvestmoon.