To explain the letter - Eli thought it was a mistake that they met because he knew he was going to hurt
her like Julia. So yeah.
Just to warn the few people who read and reviewed...that kinda hurt my pride that not a lot of people reviewed...
but I'm not a frequent updater so I dunno when my next updates will be - could be tomorrow, could be a week from now. Just sayin'
And I actually ended up crying when I was writing this :( but I'm a sap so that just might be why.
"No, Erika, Shakespeare was not illiterate. He made up most of the words we use today." I rolled my eyes; I wasn't one to get annoyed easily, I had a lot of patience and tolerance, but Erika was so…hopelessly stupid at times.
"But-"
"No but's, now as I was saying, Shakespeare was a brilliant writer. He wrote a lot of famous works like Hamlet, or the star-crossed lovers Romeo and Juliet. And as I was telling Erika, a lot of the words we use today were actually made up by him." I lectured, pacing the classroom and glancing at the students, noticing one was hiding something under his des – texting I guessed. "Nathaniel. Hand it over."
"It's Nate, Ms. Edwards," Nathaniel Maroux commented, "And I wasn't even using it."
"Well if you aren't using it, then you don't need it until the end of class." I smirked; Nathaniel rolled his hazel eyes and with a sigh of annoyance, handed over his cell phone.
"Thank you," I said and took the device before walking towards my desk and placing it in the top drawer. "I hope the rest of you put them away, English might not be your favorite subject, but I don't think you'd like to repeat my class. So I'd pay attention if I were you."
The class started muttering, clearly annoyed, although the class suck -p raised her hand. Sydney Francette – Junior Class President, GPA of 4.7, straight A student, a part in practically every club there is. She was short and had a pixie style haircut, the contrast from her pale blonde hair and deeply tanned skin was just fitting for her personality.
"Yes, Sydney?" I asked, envying her spark of curiosity – how I wished I was that young and naïve.
"What plays are we going to reading?" She asked; her notebook open, pen ready.
"Well that's up to you, actually. You will have to pick from all of Shakespeare's play yourselves. You'll have all semester to read, write your essay, and make an interpretation of the play – it can be a scene, maybe two. I talked with the Visual Communications department and they'll let you borrow a camera to use for the interpretation."
The class made a simultaneous groan, which I was sort of surprised at how in sync they were sometimes. I started writing some of Shakespeare's more popular plays – like Hamlet, Romeo & Juliet, or MacBeth. I also listed Julius Caesar, Othello, and Anthony & Cleopatra.
"Pick your play, I have copies of each play, and you will borrow them. By the end of the semester they are to be returned – if you don't each book costs thirty dollars. And I don't think you'll want that." I said and turned back around.
"Uh, Ms. Edwards, I haven't heard of any of these plays except Romeo & Juliet." Said Erika and twirled a strand of bleached hair in her manicured finger.
"Then read Romeo and Juliet, Erika." I stated, resisting the urge to roll my eyes.
"Oh, that's a good idea." She chirped, "But I don't know if I can do the interpretation. I have Spirit Squad, and Homecoming, too. I don't think I'll have time."
"The interpretation is worth half your grade, if you don't do it, you grade will lose fifty points. Which means you'll fail the whole assignment, which is worth twenty-five percent of your class grade. So find time, or you may not pass this class." I said as I sat at my desk as students came up to get their books.
I heard Erika mumble some incoherent profanities and I rolled my eyes this time. Girls like her; though a teacher should never be prejudice, always expect things to be handed to them. But in my class, they have to work for it.
The bell rang and I stood abruptly, "For those of you who haven't decided on a play, you'll have tomorrow to research it. We'll go to the computer lab and you can choose one."
I sighed as the left the class, lunchtime had arrived, which meant I had to meet K.C. at the Dot. Another sigh and I pushed myself from my seat to get my coat and purse. I walked out of the room, locking it in the process, and then turned to walk down the school's hallway towards the entrance.
"Uh, Ms. Edwards, you didn't give me my phone back." Nathaniel commented as we walked down the hall side by side.
"Oh, uh, right. Hold on." I turned abruptly, annoyed I had to go back just to give the kid back his phone.
After retrieving it, I relocked the room and held out the phone. "If I see it again in my classroom, you'll be getting an afterschool with me, you hear?"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He stated and went to grab it, but I pulled my hand back and held it over my shoulder.
"Not whatever, with that attitude, you'll get detention with Principal Sheppard." I snapped and gave him the slim device.
I huffed and made my way down Degrassi's hallways again, walking faster because I was already late. I pulled out my own cell phone as I went to my car and figured I'd call Adam before I left. I went through my contacts and found him, a warm smile appearing on my face as I looked at the picture I put with the contact. We had been celebrating his birthday the year before, and Adam got smashed in the face with the cake. Those were happier times; ones I wish didn't have to end.
Pressing send, I put the phone to my ear and opened the door to my car. It rang until it reached his voicemail answered – which was weird because Adam always answered his phone.
I hung up and put down the phone in the cup holder, then rummaged in my purse for the keys, found them and put them in the ignition and starting it. I backed up and started out of the parking lot, the radio was on low and I changed it to my favorite station, playing a familiar song from when I was younger.
As I sang to it completely off key, my cell phone rang, and I grabbed it. I peeked and saw it was Adam, so I turned the music down and answered.
"Hey, Adam, what did you need last night?" I asked with one hand on the wheel.
"Clare…I don't know…I can't even…It's…its Bullfrog. Clare…he passed away." Adam stuttered, and as he made out the last words I jerked my car to a stop, earning angry honks from the people behind me.
"He…he died?" I questioned hoarsely, I felt my eyes begin to water, and my throat close up.
"A heart attack; I was damn sure he'd last forever, but he didn't. Clare…you have to come to CeCe's. She wants to see you." Adam sounded choked up, and I felt myself ready to crack.
"I…I'll be right there." I said and hung up, but dialed the school's number.
"Degrassi Community School –Press one for main office, press two for guidance, press three plus extension for any specific room." Said an automated voice and I pressed one.
"Main office, Mrs. Noble speaking." Said the sweet secretary, her first name was Rosie, and she was just about the nicest woman there. Over fifty years as a secretary, she was a great grandmother, she had five of them – some of whom stay with her during vacation. We've become good friends, even though there is a huge age gap between us.
"Hey, Rosie, it's Clare." I said, my voice coming out hoarsely.
"Oh, Clare, sweetie, what's the matter?" Her concern evident in her tone,
"It's…a family member has passed. I need you to get a sub for my next three classes." I choked on a sob and Rosie shushed me.
"No problem, Clare. I'll tell Shep and I'm sure you can get a few days off." She said sweetly; a smile formed on my lips and I thanked her before saying good-bye.
After that, I called K.C. to cancel, he questioned why I sounded like I was crying but I dismissed it and told him I'd call him later tonight. I sighed shakily and turned my phone off, putting it in the cup holder before staring blankly at the road before me.
Today had been gorgeous, but, suddenly, the sky turned grey and I felt the air shift through the open window in my car. It grew thick, and there was a sudden flash of lightning in the distance, followed by a clap of thunder. As if the sky had been torn, the lightning and thunder being the tear, it started to pour once I stopped in front of the Goldsworthy Residence.
I sat there, thinking, as the pitter-patter of rain nulled out the world around me. With a deep sigh, I gripped the steering wheel tightly and screamed as another clap of thunder rolled by. After the divorce, after my father ran away, Bullfrog became the new father figure, especially when I would stay the night with Eli. And hearing that he had died, that tore me more than any rift in the sky.
Once the heavy flow of tears ceased, I took a deep breath and opened the door to my car. The rain felt cool against my flushed cheeks, each drop pouring on my face washed away the sticky, salty trail of tears. I reveled in it, savoring the peace, for a moment there was no death or problems or sorrow or reality. It was just me, and the rain, and peace.
Maybe if I looked around me, if I hadn't been so involved with my momentary freedom, I would've noticed the dark figure standing across the road, in the pouring rain. Just standing, just watching, just waiting.
But when I finally came back to reality, and I peered around me, there was nothing but empty streets with growing puddles.
"CeCe?" I called while opening the door; I had knocked, and even rang the doorbell, but no one answered.
"Clare?" I heard a feeble voice.
"Where are you?" I asked and closed the door behind me.
"Kitchen." The voice was nothing like the usually perky CeCe; it was dull and almost lifeless.
I took off my soaked coat and heels, shaking my hair to get it to stop dripping. I walked from the front hall to the living room, adjoined to it was the dining area, and between where the table was, and the couch, was a doorway to the kitchen.
For some reason, I was nervous; I hadn't actually talked to either Bullfrog or CeCe since I got the letter from Eli. And I knew that once I saw her, she'd just confirm that he was gone, and that we'd end up talking about Eli. I don't know if I'm even ready for Eli.
But I sucked up my fears and walked to the swinging door, pressing my rain drenched hand against the faded painted door. Now or never.
I pushed, it swung open, and there she was. Sitting on the breakfast table, a glass of scotch placed in front of her. Her once blonde hair was turning fairer, the color fading away like everything else in her life.
"He's gone, sweetie. Damn bastard died! First my baby boy, now him. What did I do? To deserve this? To lose everyone I loved so quickly? We were going to grow old together, watch as our son started a life of his own, and watch our grandchild grow. But they're both gone. And now…Now I'm alone. What did I ever do to deserve this?" CeCe spat venomously, and I cringed at the harsh tone.
She took her glass and shot back, gulping the beverage fast. When she finished, CeCe slammed the glass on the table, the smacking sound echoing through the house.
"CeCe…I don't know what to say." I lied, I knew what I wanted to say, to do. I wanted to weep with her; I wanted to relapse into my depressed state.
But I couldn't – I wouldn't. As much as I loved Eli, I couldn't go back to that state of sorrow. So I took a deep breath, I'd grieve for Bullfrog, but I would stay strong. For CeCe.
"You…Clare…you're all I have left…" CeCe cried and I rushed forward and hugged her tightly from behind as she sobbed.
"I'm here for you, I won't leave, I promise." I felt my heart ache, this was just too much.
"Don't leave me. Please, don't leave." She sobbed uncontrollably and I couldn't help but cry with her – I really was all she had left. Only child, parents deceased, son dead, husband…dead.
I felt my control slip away with each heavy sob ripping from the poor woman's throat, a familiar pain wrapped its grimy fingers around me and I broke down with her, grieving in the loss of another Goldsworthy.