- Chapter 6: Immortal Concerns -

Sheba's sneezing had let up, but she still felt cold all over. She pulled her blanket tightly about herself and wished for Felix's warmth. On her first night with Saturos and Menardi, Felix had let her sleep with her head on his chest, and even through his vest she could feel how warm he was. His warmth helped her quickly fall asleep on a night she would have thought she'd get no sleep at all.

Remembering that he'd made her some of that tea before he left for the lighthouse, Sheba decided to brave letting the blanket down for a minute to get some. It wouldn't be the same as Felix's reassuring presence, but it might warm her up.

As she grabbed her cup and began pouring tea in, her thoughts segued from Felix to her real father. He wasn't with her... so in a sense, she didn't have a real father at all. Faran had tried, but it wasn't the same - it couldn't be the same. Everyone, even the gods, only gets one father and one mother.

Even so, with Felix she had found many of the things she'd ordinarily have gotten from her father. Protection, comfort, discipline, and most important of all, guidance. Before she met Felix, she hadn't thought she even needed guidance. She thought that since she was a goddess, all she needed to do was exist. Since Felix had opened her eyes... well, she didn't want to go back to just existing ever again. Felix had helped her grow up.

The fact that she saw him almost as a father was what made it so hard for her to accept him liking that horrible woman. She wanted with all her heart for Felix to find the right woman, and Karst definitely wasn't it. Felix was upright, honest, and kind. Karst was dissolute, deceitful, and cruel. He was a wonderful hero; she was a terrible villain. He deserved better than her. Much better.

Sheba sat back down with her tea, awkwardly arranging the blanket around her with one hand. If only there was some way I could make Felix see how rotten she is... No. What I really want is to get him to notice someone nice, someone worthy of him. It's just not right for him to be with someone who doesn't have a good heart like his.

But there wasn't much hope in that. They hadn't run into any good candidates on their journeys. Sure, even Mia would be better than Karst, but Felix certainly wasn't going to see it that way. And if Felix was staying in Prox, that didn't add any good options. Sheba had nothing against Proxians, but physically they were rather ugly.

Hmm. Then again, if Felix has fallen for Karst, maybe Proxian is his type. Sure! After all, he spent his teenage years here, didn't he? Makes sense that he'd start to see dark and scaly girls as cuties. And it sure won't be any problem getting one of them interested in him. Maybe Felix is just another guy in Vale, but in Prox he's a hero. Half the women here admire him, and the other half think he's a total hunk.

Sheba had a statistical sampling to support that analysis, in fact, having mind-read everyone they passed by after successfully lighting Mars Lighthouse.

She sipped her tea. Of course, her plans all depended on what was happening in Mars Lighthouse right at that moment. And she honestly didn't know which outcome to hope for. If Karst was dead after all, that would solve everything, except that Felix would be consumed with grief. If she was alive and she spurned him, he would be consumed by heartache. And if she returned his feelings... well, then she might just have to get used to Felix being with her. She was convinced by what Felix had said about how he planned to confess his love to Karst that his feelings for her were genuine. Even if she couldn't respect Karst herself, she could respect what Felix felt for her.

She even admired him a bit more for that. For all the harm Karst had done him, he loved the woman and was willing to defend her even if everyone he cared about raised their voices against her.

A frown crossed her face. I wonder what he's doing. I thought he'd have been back by now... Either he can't find Karst, or the two of them are having a real long heart-to-heart. Maybe they're even making out. At that thought, Sheba scrunched up her face in disgust.

There was a knock at the door. Sheba hesitated to answer; pretty much everyone in Prox was still a stranger to her. "...Come on in."

Puelle stepped inside, and she felt a bit of relief. She knew Puelle better than most of the people in Prox, and liked him.

"Hello, Sheba," the big Proxian greeted her, stepping forward until he stood roughly five feet away from her. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Almost as good as new!" she said brightly.

"...But you're still shivering." His voice sounded concerned, and what she was mind-reading from him said the same.

"Yeah, well..." Geez, can't he see I'm trying to not whine about it? But I guess I should be thankful that he cares... I know that's what Felix would tell me. "What did you come here for? I didn't expect anyone to come check in on me."

"Well, concern for your health was part of it, but..." He shook his head. "I'm afraid I may have some bad news for you, Sheba. In fact, I'll need to break this to you gently, so let me start with a question I have for you."

"Okay..." She resisted the urge to mind-read him again. Not because she believed that she wouldn't be able to take the bad news straight out, but because it would be too difficult to pretend that she didn't already know what he was going to say.

"I see that Felix isn't here. Do you know where he is?"

"Yeah. He left to, um, pay his respects to Karst and Agatio this morning. He hasn't come back yet."

"Hmm." Puelle pondered a moment. The temptation to mind-read him was almost unbearable. "Do you think he may have decided to bid a last farewell to his friends while he was out?"

Sheba shook her head. "I really don't think so. Felix isn't sentimental like that."

"I see." He clasped his hands together. "Well, that doesn't help solve our mystery, so perhaps I should just tell you what we know. A few hours ago, one of the villagers was out chopping wood in the woods to the south. As he started heading back, he saw Felix running past him, in the direction of where your friends' ship was docked. He called out to him, but Felix didn't even glance in his direction. He became a bit worried... Felix looked very agitated, he said. So, he followed after him. Felix was running too fast for him to keep up, so when it was clear that he was headed for the Lemurian ship, he slowed to a walk. After a while, he reached the ship, and..."

"And what?"

Puelle sighed heavily. "It might be best if I just show you."

"Tell me!" she cried. "Did something happen to Felix!"

"We don't know. All the villager saw there was... the ship's wreckage." Sheba felt her heart stop. "He called the names of Felix and the others, but there was no answer, so he hurried back to Prox to call for a search party. The elder is leading them to the site now."

"The elder? Why not you?"

"I thought that I should be the one to tell you the news. You don't know many people in Prox yet, and..."

Sheba mind-read him as he was speaking and saw, I should have gone with the search party, but Mars help me, I'm afraid. Afraid to find the corpse of the hero of our village. Afraid that I will fail to uncover what happened there. It is not fair that something so important cannot be solved by strength.

"He's not dead," Sheba said firmly. "Felix is immortal."

"Immortal?"

"That reminds me," she said, stroking her chin. "Is Karst a god, like her sister?"

"...We're all mortals here in Prox, miss." I don't have the energy to make sense of this child's musings, she mind-read from him.

She took that in. Obviously if he didn't realize Saturos and Menardi were gods, his knowledge of Karst couldn't be relied on. She wondered if the Proxian gods were as clueless to their status as Felix and the others were. Or maybe they just liked to keep a low profile in their hometown. ...The important thing, of course, was if Karst would be able to fully share Felix's immortal life. She couldn't bring that question up to Felix himself, having promised not to talk to him about godhood anymore.

But that wasn't important right now. What mattered was figuring out what had happened to Felix. If all was well, he ought to have been back by this point, which meant the Proxian's story was believable. The only question was, what would make him run back to the Lemurian ship?

"Okay." She stood up, still holding the blanket around her. "I'm going there."

Puelle hesitated. "Are you sure you're well enough?"

"I have to see," she insisted.

Sheba was willing to go alone, but Puelle insisted on a pair of bodyguards. It was far too dangerous for travel by oneself, especially in her condition. She supposed he was right in principle, though as a goddess she had survived far worse than anything the Proxian wastes could throw at her. Her only real worry was that her bodyguards would be hurt; sick as she was, she couldn't be sure she could protect them.

They did look capable of taking care of themselves, at least. They were one man and one woman, something Sheba was beginning to suspect was a tradition among Proxians. The man was short but burly and focused, with skin that was a light sapphire in color. The woman moved with a sort of deadly grace, each step soft and sure. Her hair was cut startlingly short, barely passing her earlobes. They weren't nearly as imposing as Saturos and Menardi, but Sheba wouldn't feel sure of her being able to defeat either one of them in a one-on-one fight.

The two of them said little, and Sheba opted not to mind-read them. She'd rather not know what they thought of her; though the majority of Proxians rated all of Felix's group as heroes, some had eyes only for Felix himself and regarded his companions as outsiders who had simply tagged along. It was possible that some of them might even despise her, and nothing was worse than mind-reading someone's hate for you.

In due course, the ship's wreckage came within sight. Sheba felt a hard lump growing in her throat. This was no normal shipwreck. Rather than just a hole punched in the side and some wing damage, it looked as though the ship had been ripped apart. Tears and holes scarred the entire vessel. The body of the ship was technically still in one piece, but barely.

"Gods..." the woman accompanying her breathed. "What happened here?"

"We've lost the savior of Prox," the man said, his voice choked.

"He's alive," Sheba said. "None of you have any clue what this shipwreck means. Felix is alive." But she had to stop to wipe away the tears flowing from her eyes. Felix's words kept ringing in her head.

"Sheba... no, I'm not."

She laughed nervously. "Stop trying to trick me, Felix! It's not funny at all. If you weren't immortal, jumping off Venus Lighthouse would have been... suicide! And all just to keep an eye on me! You can't -"

"You would have drowned if I hadn't, Sheba."

How could someone do something like that - throw himself away to almost certain death, just for a faint chance at saving one other person? Ever since Felix had told her he was mortal, she'd wanted him to explain that. Sheba understood valor and heroism, but any way she looked at it, if Felix was mortal, what he'd done didn't make sense. She wondered if this was one of the most important lessons he had to teach her. Now she would never learn it.

...No! Felix was wrong! He is immortal... it's the only way he could have survived the fall from the lighthouse. But a terrible thought struck her. Unless... Unless I used my power to protect him, without realizing it...

She shook her head fiercely. I can't give up! Even if Felix IS mortal, I can't just give up on him. Giving up is the last thing he'd want me to do when someone's life is at stake. I can't let him down, not after all he's done for me.

"If he's alive," the Proxian man said, "...why hasn't he come back to Prox? Why would he abandon you?"

"I don't know," Sheba admitted. "But if he's in trouble, I'm going to... to... ah-CHOO!" She wiped her nose. "I'm going to find him."