In This Together: Chapter Six

A/N: Whoa, so I have not updated this since forever! I am trying to finish off all of my old fan fictions that I can so that I can start all new ones. I might let some of them go. Because I just am not following the train of thought that I was when I started writing them. Actually, if anyone has read any of my other fanfictions and there is one you actually want me to finish because you want an ending, I'll finish it for you, but if there are some with little interest anymore, I'll probably leave them.

Okay, here we go.

--&

"Horatio?"

"Eric, how are you holding up?"

"We're okay over here. I was just calling to tell you I won't be coming with you to Brazil."

"I know."

"You know?" Eric asked, slightly confused.

"I'm in Brazil already Eric."

"You weren't planning on letting me come with you?"

"Eric, you can Calleigh have something special. You have what Marisol and I had, and you're not loosing that. I won't let you." That was Horatio being Horatio.

"H, I appreciate it. I really do. And will you do something for me?"

"Don't worry Eric. I'll get him."

"Okay, well I'll see you when you get back." Eric sighed as he hung up the phone. It's not that he didn't have faith in Horatio's need, want or ability to carry out the task, he just couldn't let go of the fact that he'd let Marisol down.

"What is it Eric?"

"Oh, nothing. I just called Horatio to see how he was doing. He's already in Brazil."

"He wasn't waiting for you?"

"He knew I'd stay."

"Oh." She sighed. She didn't want him to leave, but she didn't want to force him to stay if he was going to regret it later.

"I want to stay." He clarified upon seeing the look of uncertainty dance across her features.

"Are you sure?" It was weird for him to see the regularly self confident, stubborn Calleigh doubting herself, doubting his honesty.

"I'm sure."

"Okay." Silence engulfed them as they made their way to the living room, a newfound awkwardness causing their thoughts to stumble, preventing them from finding the solace they so desperately craved in each other.

"How do you make it go away?" He whispered suddenly.

"You let it out."

"I don't want to forget."

"Then don't let it out to forget. Let it out to remember."

"What if I don't know how? What if I can't remember?"

"You will. It might take time. But you will." And in that moment, he realized, eyes out of tears, mind dry of thoughts, clear of memories that summer would pass. Autumn would come, then winter, and again spring. And she wouldn't be there.

"She won't be there."

"Eric," Calleigh began, but it was no use.

"She won't be there. Someday I'll get married. I'll have kids. And they'll never know her."

"Eric," This was the wrong time for her heart to lurch at the thought of Eric as a father.

"She won't be there. If I meet someone tomorrow… they could come into my life never knowing that I had a sister. Never knowing how amazing she was. I don't want that."

"Eric,"

"But they could come into my life not knowing that I let her down. I promised her Calleigh. I promised."

"Eric you did everything you could."

"I shouldn't have taken her to such an open location,"

"Eric, punishing yourself for no reason won't make it any better. You did everything you could. Everything. You didn't know there was a sniper. You didn't know they would know where you were. You didn't know Eric. So don't pretend you could have."

"I just feel like there should have been something more."

"Believe me Eric, I understand. I wish that I didn't, but I do . I spent the first year after Conner's death trying to figure out what I should have done differently. Had I been a better wife… if I had been prettier, less stubborn, argumentative…"

"But those are the things that make you you. Those are the reasons he fell in love with you."

"You don't know that Eric. You can't tell what he was thinking, and it's too late to change those things now. We can't tell what we could have done better, and we can't tell what's going to happen. Had he known he was going to die, would he have left? No. But he didn't know. Just like you didn't know what was going to happen when you were meeting your sister in a public area. It should have been safe Eric."

"It should have been safe but it wasn't."

"And what do we fight every day? You're making a difference."

"I know."

"And you know what else Eric? She died happy. She was married; she and Horatio were going to have children. She was really happy Eric, and you were a part of that. You were making her happy."

"She was happy." Eric admitted, and with the admittance came remembrance. Not complete remembrance, but came memories.

"And you can't forget Alaina and Sara. Because they'll be struggling to remember too. Maybe not as desperately as you, obviously you and Marisol were closer… but you grew up together. After Conner… the only person I could talk to for the longest time about anything was his sister."

"Do you still talk to her?" Had it not been such a time of despair and tragedy for him, he would take more time to absorb the multitude to which this must have affected her. To be concerned as to why she didn't tell him until now. But this was mutual tragedy. She was broken, still, after all of this time and he had just broken. Together they were determined to become whole again, or as whole as one can be after such a fall.

"Not as often as I'd like. There was a period of time when we stopped talking completely because it was easier to forget. It was wrong, and deep inside I knew it only made it worse, but on the surface it made it so much easier to pretend everything was okay. So I stopped calling, stop e-mailing… for two years, as far as I was concerned, I wasn't a widow."

"But you are."

"But I am."

"Does it ever get easier?"

"It's been less than twenty four hours since the funeral. It gets worse. Once everything fully sinks in. And whether that happens today, or tomorrow, or next week… I'll be here."

"Who was there for you?" The empty look in her eyes communicated more than her whispered answer, which he didn't quite hear. And seeing that emptiness, the same emptiness he saw when he visited his sister at the hospital… it never got easier. Not for her.

"I'll be here."

--&

A/N: I was going to continue the chapter, but then I decided not to. So if you're still interested in reading this one, review me, or well yeah. But I like this one a lot actually, so I'll keep writing it anyways.