Significant Others

Everyone had left. Emotions had run high this evening and they all needed time to recuperate from the shock of Michael's sudden presence.

Worried, Isabel stared at Max. The black smudges underneath his eyes and his 6 o'clock shadow emphasised just how worn and old he had become. She never needed to ask what he'd been doing and how he had been living the past 5 years, his face painted a detailed enough picture. She felt like was the axel of a see-saw; when Max was happy and well, Michael had been confused, angry and lost. Now it appeared that Michael had been happy and content when away and instead Max was the one now angry and lost. She was tired of being pulled in between them, trying to make both sides balance in the air.

"Stop it Iz." Max said it quietly, breaking the silence and startling her. He reached over and picked up the photo of Isabel's wedding, looking intently at the image of him and Liz standing side by side.

"Stop what Max? I'm only looking at you. A sister is allowed to look at her brother, especially as its obvious you haven't seen yourself lately."

Max ignored her pointed tone, "Iz, I'm fine." He sat down with a long and drawn out sigh. This was a very familiar conversation.

"No you're not!" Isabel exploded and stalked towards him, her brown eyes blazing with fear and concern. "Stop pretending this is normal! Michael is home now, so what are you going to do with your life? You don't have a reason to disappear anymore. I know it must be hard -"

"Iz - " Max warned

She continued, not listening, "-but you can't mourn Liz forever!"

"Isabel goddamnit- "

"No Max! And don't give me the 'I'm a king of an alien planet' speech again. You need to settle down. You need to build a life that doesn't consist of motel rooms. How about college? You could give it a try, you're only 23." Isabel sat down next to him. "I know it was hard to lose Liz, but you have to stop blaming yourself."

Max glared at her, "If I hadn't thrown away my responsibilities and gone chasing after Michael, Liz wouldn't have got hurt."

Isabel took his free hand in hers and gave it a small squeeze. Max glanced at her earnest face, her eyes brimming with unshed tears…"I am so sorry that we couldn't save her, I am so sorry for all of it. I need you Max; your family needs you. I need you to try and heal. She's dead Max, she has been for 5 years. She wouldn't have wanted you to live like this. She wouldn't have wanted to see you throw away any potential of a happy life."

"Oh Iz, don't blame yourself, she wouldn't want that either."

Isabel's pocket started to vibrate. "Oh that might be Michael!" She pulled out her sleek black phone. "Hello? Oh good, where are you? She's where?! No I'm glad you rang. Yes I'll be there as soon as I can. Are you on your way back? Oh…I see…okay, yeah that's fine, just remember you promised! Yes I will see you soon. Love you."

Isabel hung up face Max, biting her lip with worry. "Maria's drunk again, in Michael's old apartment. It appears there was some sort of misunderstanding over a phone call and they had an argument. He's heading back to Santa Fe, but not permanently, just to sort some things out there."

"Guess you're heading over to Michael's then? Is it alright if I crash here? I think I've drunk a bit too much to drive back to the motel."

"Of course, since Michael won't be here tonight, you may as well use the guest room. Could you tell Alex where I've gone? He's probably upstairs working in the study."

Max watched as she grabbed her keys and hurried quickly out of the door. Thank god Michael had phoned when he did, Max thought. He couldn't handle Round 456 of trying to discuss his feelings about Liz.

He walked upstairs, gave a short answer to Alex about Isabel's whereabouts and threw himself onto the spare bed. He was so tired…he was always tired…his eyes drifted closed and within seconds sleep overtook him.

******

Flashback

Max watched Liz, who was watching the couple take their first dance. She looked as beautiful as ever. Her eyes were shining and a wistful smile ghosted across her lips as she observed Isabel and Alex move together in a graceful harmony.

She hadn't spoken to him at all today.

Those arguments over the phone. Through the stress and the worry they both had turned bitter and said things they didn't mean…things they couldn't take back.

Max walked over to her and noticed immediately how her shoulders stiffened as he got closer, her eyes shuttered and closed off. Yeah they would never be able to take it back. But maybe just for one night, they could pretend.

"Liz? Do you want to dance?" Max put out his hand and gave her a lopsided smile. She stared at him, and he could see her beginning to thaw. Her brown eyes darted around the room as she saw other couples heading to the dance floor.

"One dance."

And Liz took his hand.

Her head rested against his shoulder and he held her close, breathing in that familiar scent of her hair and the feel of her body pressed close to his. As they swayed back and forth across the dance floor, he sang the lyrics softly in her ear.

"Someday, when I'm awfully low… When the world is cold…"

"Max…." Liz started to protest but he held her tightly .

"Shhh, just for tonight, please….I will feel a glow just thinking of you…" She smelled of vanilla and coconut. He held up her chin and stared into her eyes, which were now wet and shining with such restrained sorrow that it hurt his heart to see it. "And the way you look tonight."

He finished and kissed her lightly on the lips. For the barest moment, she responded and he felt like every trouble in the world could have disappeared. But then, she pulled away.

"Max don't." Her eyes wouldn't meet his but stared at his shirt instead. "Look, you told me to move on and I am. Sean asked me out on a date and I'm thinking of saying yes." Her voice shook with pain and frustration. "You can't do this to me every time you're in town, not any more. I can't bear it. Please, let me go…just let me go."

She ran away from him, off the dance floor and out of the building. He would have chased after her but he was afraid, he was afraid that he would look into her eyes and see the true damage he had caused. He had saved her life many years ago and he was too scared to see that he had also ruined it.

It was his fault. If he hadn't been a coward, if he had just stopped her from getting into that car…she would still be here.

*******

Max opened his eyes, buried his face into the pillow and cried. Every night the same dream, every night he was with her, holding her and every night he failed her.