This chapter is dedicated to my best friend, Castella. Happy Birthday, my darling! I hope you have a spectacular day. I know this chapter is short, but there are many devious things to come… And, she's a member of this site. I'll leave you to guess who. *devious smile* Now , on with the show…
T H E R E A R E N O S T A R S I N T H E S K Y
4. the best kind of poison keeps you alive as you slowly die
The train station is old, but not as beaten down as some of the other buildings here in District 12. Because of the trains coming through for the Tour and the Games every year, the station has retained some of its longevity. There's a large clock in the center of the station, outside on the tower that stands in the middle. I glance upward at it; the train will be here any minute.
There are still clouds overhead, swirling grey; they look like they're heading south. The storm will be following us.
Katniss is behind me, saying teary goodbyes to her mother and Prim. She said goodbye to Gale at her house; even though he's supposed to be her cousin, most find him too handsome, and 'rugged' to just be her 'cousin'. It wouldn't be convincing to the Capitol if she was more affectionate toward Gale than me.
Katniss walks over and stands next to me, looping her hand through mine. She's smiling, playing the cameras for Panem. More than once I've wondered if those smiles were real; which ones were fake.
More than once I've wondered if she really loves me.
But I can see it in her eyes; a worried expression, panic littering the silvery surface. She's thinking of Gale. Of Prim, her mother, if they'll be safe.
That night a few days ago was one of those times when Katniss got close to me, like sometimes a part of her actually wants to be with me.
The other part, the one that hunts in the woods and won the Hunger Games last year, is the one that shows up the most.
The train that's going to take us around the country is sleek and shiny, built for speed. We have to cover a lot of ground each day to make it to each district. Our stylists and prep teams go inside first, then Katniss, and finally, me.
I watch as District 12 becomes a small dot on the horizon.
*V*
I sit in a booth next to a window, the distant mountains streaming by. Katniss is sitting on the opposite side of the room, looking at a book of sketches Cinna gave her to look at. She's wearing a simple shirt and sweatpants, her hair falling in a velvet curtain around her shoulders, her silvery grey eyes focused on the pages spread before her.
No matter how I felt about her, she didn't feel the same way. She had other choices, other things she could do. But not me. I was stuck from the first moment I saw her.
I loved Katniss Everdeen.
But she didn't love me.
But that was okay. Because at least I got to be close to her, spend time with her. It didn't matter that she didn't love me.
Because I still loved her.
Love. The best kind of poison; the only thing that kept you alive as it slowly killed you.
I turned to the window and watched as the storm dropped rain, the water zooming past us and leaving streaks on the window.