Disclaimer: Not mine. CBS - Thank you

Spoilers: None

Rating: CSI 3/T

Other character: Lori Campbell

Summary: The past, present and future all come together as the biggest secret of Catherine Willows life is revealed to the world, to herself and to the only one she always thought would never find out.

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Chapter two: "A change is gonna come"

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Somewhere in Las Vegas

April 10, 2007

Listen I am alone at crossroad

I'm not at home in my own home

And I try to try to say what's on my mind

You should have known

Now I'm done believing you

You don't know what I feeling

I'm more than what you made of me

I followed the voice you gave to me

But now I gotta find my own

I don't know where I belong

But I'll be moving on

If you don't... If you won't ...listen

- Beyoncé Listen

Lori stepped back as she took in the person slowly approaching. The woman was probably in her early forties. She was wearing black pants, black leather boots and a black winter wool trench coat. Her strawberry blonde hair was slightly curled and came down just below her shoulders. And had it not been for the very strong light from the one working street lamp no one would have noticed nothing but her beautiful and fine-featured face. But as she turned a little Lori noticed that the women before her had been trying to hide a big gash on her right cheek-bone with make up.

"Yes" Lori answered with hesitation wondering how the complete stranger in front of her knew her name. Had it not been because the mere presence of a woman at her show had sparked an interest she would have been long gone by now.

"I'm with the Las Vegas crime lab, we need your help" Catherine Willows held out her badge as she eyed the young woman in front of her. She could not be more than 18 or 19 at the most. Her hair was long and curly and cascaded down her back in thick golden curls. Her face was almost doll like with big blue eyes and her fair skin was lightly suntanned. Close up Catherine could see the big fake eye lashed soaked in mascara and the heavy layer of make up. There was no doubt she was a beautiful young woman but the make up made it hard to really see.

Lori shifted uncomfortably in her high heels and drew her thin jacket closer. The wind was unusually cold that night.

"I'm really sorry, but if you don't mind I really have to go. My bus is leaving in five."

Catherine Willows took one look at the young woman and knew she was lying. But instead of calling her on it she decided to take another chance. She needed the young woman's help. Lori cursed at herself inwards. She had made a promise to herself. No more lying. But bad habits were hard to break.

"Let me buy you a cup of coffee first? I really need your help!" she said seeing Lori obviously responding to the now more personal request. Lori actually felt comfortable around the red-haired criminalist.

"Lori, we need to get this guy. Let me buy you a cup of coffee and then I'll take you home after we've talked, okay?" Catherine Willows liked this young woman and wanted to work with her, more than any of the other young women they had contemplated using for this unusual task.

Lori didn't know what to say. But eventually she shrugged on her shoulders and followed Catherine Willows to her car. It had been like forever since she had gone out for coffee, or even gone out at all for that sake. All she ever did was work, sleep and stay locked up inside her small room. As Lori opened the front door in the passenger side a small hair clip with a metallic blue butterfly fell to the ground.

She leaned down to pick it up. As she settled in the seat, she handed Catherine the hair clip.

"Oh, thank you so much. This is my daughter's favorite hair clip. I cannot believe it was here; we've been looking for it all over the place at home. I was sure she lost it" Catherine said, adding to herself that she now felt sorry for the huge fight that had followed.

"It's beautiful" Lori said watching how the wings caught the light as Catherine placed the pin in the front window.

Catherine caught the melancholic look on the young girl's face and felt a slight déjà vu. Years ago this life had been hers. She knew why she liked Lori more than the other possible decoys. And she knew she had to snap out of it. Grissom would call her on it instantly if he found out. She sighed lightly. They had been on so limited-speaking terms lately she wondered if he even cared any more. The pit in her stomach when she thought of him was becoming so big she didn't know what to do anymore. She missed him. But right now she was working.

"Yes it is, Lindsey loves it" she told Lori.

"How old is your daughter?" Lori asked wondering why the older woman had looked like the whole world was coming to an end just before. She decided not to meddle in. That had already cost her way too much in the past.

"Lindsey is thirteen" Catherine said suddenly remembering she had to stay professional.

"Ms. Willows, why did you want to talk me?" Lori asked. Suddenly feeling a little less at ease. She didn't know where they were going exactly.

"Call me Catherine"

"Ok, Catherine, what did you want to discuss with me?

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The crime lab

March 10, 2007

Catherine and Grissom followed Nick to the break room for a briefing on their newest case. A case that required the full attention of all involved. Grissom observed Catherine from across the table as Warrick laid out the details he had been looking into.

Catherine looked up to catch Grissom watching her. She smiled slightly before her attention went back to Warrick. But she felt Grissom's eyes still on her, even when he answered Sara and Nick.

"No you two have to work the case Brass called in an hour ago. I'll be taking Warrick and Cath with me. Greg and Sophia are doing some paperwork and can be called in if necessary." He held a short pause, and the others saw how he kept staring at Catherine who was determined not to look at him. She kept staring at the file before her.

"Catherine..." she responded to his soft request. Looking up she saw that the others had left the room and he was taking a seat beside her.

"I'm fine Gil" she tried to cut off any other requests about her personal situation trying to make him believe things were just fine. But when he reached over and slowly took her hand she flinched and withdrew her hand in an instant. Her eyes snapped up to his. And for a second she could have sworn she saw love but with her sharp withdrawal his caring look also disappeared.

"Catherine this case will require full attention, are you up for it or should I take Greg with me?" he said in a cool and collected professional tone. She could feel her inside freeze at the impersonal request.

"No I'm game" she told him with a small smile. They both rose and she picked up the folder in front of her. It read: The use of decoys in undercover work/ CSI Supervisor level.

"Let me just grab my coat and I'll be ready to go" she said over her shoulder as she began walking to the wardrobe. She had to focus on work now. The letter in her purse was burning in her mind but she had to wait. And with that she shut her personal life and feelings down and put on her professional armor as she had so many times before.

She had read the memo inside the file before. A serial killer going after young classically trained female dancers. Ten young women from all over the country had come to Las Vegas with their dreams and dancing shoes but had all ended up in the ally behind the same hotel. The media was all over this case. Ecklie had been singled out as a bad director since they had still not caught the killer and Warrick had been on this case since the beginning, since he knew one of the killed dancer's sister. So now they were off to find a decoy. Something Catherine already thought was a really bad idea.

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Nevada Ballet Theater

1651 Inner Circle, Las Vegas

March 10, 2007

Catherine and Grissom walked into the ending of a class. The big room was a typical dance hall. Parquet floor, though worn, mirrors on the walls and a ballet barre on each sides of the room. Pictures of ballet dancers decorated the end wall and speakers in each corner gave musical support to the dancers on the floor. A group of around ten young women were spread out on the floor stretching after a lesson of technical improvements on jumps and turns. They were dressed in black tights, tight tank tops or loose shirts hanging from their shoulders revealing a black, white or flesh colored tight satin top. Some of them wore legwarmers and most of them had tape around toes, ankles or the instep of the foot.

As Grissom approached the teacher, a woman in her early thirties with thick deep chocolate brown hair in a tight ponytail and piercing blue eyes, the younger women got up and began getting ready to leave. A couple of them gave Grissom a curious look but most of them just kept to themselves.

Catherine decided to let Grissom speak to the teacher by himself, she followed the women out into the hall. She walked around for a while outside the dance hall. She turned a corner and walked down a couple of small hallways. She just kept walking turning a corner when she came to one. At the end of the last hall of them there was a door with a small window. As she approached she heard music seeping out into the hallway.

Your arms are warm but they make me feel

As if they're made of cold, cold steel

A simple kiss like a turnin' key

A little click and the lock's on me

Can't move my arms, can't lift my hands

I won't admit to where I am

But I know baby, I'm in chains

I'm in chains

It was like the lyrics of the song drew Catherine to the window in the door. And what she saw when she looked in made her step back for a second. A young woman in her late teens or early twenties was dancing to the song.

I pretend I can always leave

Free to go whenever I please

But then the sound of my desperate calls

Echo off these dungeon walls

I've crossed the line from mad to sane

A thousand times and back again

I love you baby, I'm in chains

I'm in chains

I'm in chains

I'm in chains

The young woman was wearing high-healed tan colored professional dancing shoes, she wore a soft cotton black dress. It was loose on the top and had long butterfly-like sleeves with small creases, the lower part was tight from her midriff and down to just below her bottom. Her legs were bare and her movements seducing as she swayed to the music. She was a trained dancer, no doubt, but this routine belonged anywhere than on the stage of the ballet theater.

Should have known passing through the gate

That once inside I could not escape

I never thought this could happen to me

Never thought this is where I'd be

But baby, baby, baby, look at me

Baby, baby, look at me, I'm in chains

I'm in chains

Catherine couldn't believe her own eyes. Because it wasn't just the sexy dancing and high heels that fascinated her. It was the young woman's appearance. She had strawberry blond hair in soft curls that came down to just below her shoulder blades, blue eyes and fair skin. And just as the young dancer was about to turn to catch Catherine watching her, Catherine felt a hand on her shoulder.

She turned and struck out as if she had been burned. Grissom took a step back and took a long hard look at her. She looked flustered. Something in the room behind her had surely had an effect on her. He tried to step around her to glance into the room. But Catherine was quicker and pulled him with her down the hall. He got her message loud and clear. And decided once again to let her get her way. They stopped at the end of the hall and talking about the reaction to the decoy idea. Catherine glanced back over her shoulder and caught the young woman staring at her. She had just finished her routine workout and was getting ready to go home. As she opened the door she saw a man and a woman standing at the end of the hallway. He had his hand on her arm, slowly stroking it. She didn't seem to notice. When they turned to walk she turned her head and saw the young woman. They locked eyes and the recognition was instant.

I never thought this is where I'd be

Never thought this could happen to me

- Tina Arena Chains

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Las Vegas Sunrise Hospital and Medical Center

May 10, 2007

He woke to a dim lit room. He couldn't feel a thing and all he could hear was the faint beeping. It came from somewhere beside him. He turned his head and heard himself wince softly. His eyes were slowly adjusting and he could now make out a machine on his right and he could now feel the pinching in his right hand from an IV-drop. He tried to remember, what had happened but all he could remember was Catherine walking towards him. Suddenly everything came screaming back to him. Catherine, was she all right? He tried to sit up but couldn't. He then heard something, someone walking by whilst talking outside his room. He turned his head towards the sound and saw her.

Catherine was sitting in a chair besides his hospital bed. Her head was resting to the side on the back of the chair, her hair in a mess and her shirt had blood stains on it. She was asleep her chest slowly rising and falling with every breath. Her hands resting in her lab. Her head turned slightly in her sleep and caught a bit more light. He could see the dried tears on her cheeks and felt miserable knowing that he had put them there. He had promised her nothing bad would ever happen again, that they had finally made it through. All he wanted to do was to hold her in his arms and let her know that he was fine and that everything would be all right.

She stirred as she woke and opened her eyes to his. Blue met blue and she felt herself tear up.

"Hey you" she whispered.

"Cath I'm sorry" he said reaching out for her. She nearly leaped from the chair and onto his bed. She clutched his hand and laid her head on his chest. 0

"You scared me" was all she could say before the tears prevented her from saying anything more.

"What happened" he asked stroking her hand.

"He came her looking for her. You somehow stepped out in front of the two bullets that were meant for her. He was shot and killed by a guard from the hospital. I don't know what to...I just want you to know... Thank you" she said tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Catherine I love you" was all he could say before tears also prevented him from speaking.

She drew the chair closer to the bed and sat down learning over and laying her head on his chest again. His hand stroked her hair until they both fell asleep.

He awoke when a young female doctor entered the room. She reminded him of his mother when she was young. They locked eyes and he gestured to her to keep quiet. Catherine was still sleeping.

"Mr. Grissom I'm Dr. Goodwin, I need to check your wounds. The first bullet went straight through your shoulder. But the second penetrated close to your spine. We were lucky, we removed it and you will just as good as new." she said.

She reached for his right arm but needed him to move in order to see remove the bandage.

"Mr. Grissom your wife needs to move, and I don't think she should be sleeping in that position anyway. She hasn't slept in two days and she surely needs her rest now and..."

"She's not my wife" he said in a small voice scared that Catherine would wake up. He knew now that he would ask for her hand in marriage as soon as she would allow him, but he didn't want to do it in front of the doctor.

"Oh Mr. Grissom I'm sorry, I just though that... well, the obstetrician must have gotten it wrong"

"The what?" Grissom couldn't believe his own ears.

"The... Oh my God, I just made a big mistake didn't I" Dr. Goodwin said.

Grissom looked down at the still sleeping Catherine, she still slept and felt warm happiness flow through him.

"Is any of our friends out there?" he hinted towards the door.

"Yes, do you need me to get them?"

"Can you see if Nick is there?" he asked

She finished checking her wounds and left. Only seconds later Nick softly knocked on the door. Grissom motioned for him to be quiet as he approached.

"Hey Gris, how are you feeling?"

"I'm gonna live, but we need to get Catherine out of here and into a real bed. She needs real sleep, and I cannot carry her. You need to help me. Can you carry her to the room opposite from here? There should be a bed ready for her."

Nick nodded and walked over to Catherine. He slowly put his arm under her legs and around her back and began lifting her but she began to stir and talk in he sleep.

"No, Grissom, please don't leave me. I don't know how to do this alone again, please don't... Grissom...no ...no" she began to whimper softly and wouldn't let go of Grissom's hand.
Nick looked at Grissom with pain in his eyes. Grissom felt his heart break at her words. He signaled to Nick to put her back down and she instantly relaxed.

Dr. Goodwin had been observing the three persons and felt her heart go out to the sleeping woman. She nodded reassuring at Grissom and stepped out of the room only to return with a smaller hospital bed. It was set up next to Grissom's and Catherine was lifted onto it. She only woke slightly when Nick lifted her.

"Nicky?" she said in a confused tone.

"It's ok Catherine, he is fine, and you need to sleep now." Nick said as he placed her in the bed. As the others cleared the room she sat up a little and look over at Grissom.

"Catherine sleep now, I'll be fine" he told her reassuringly.

She smiled at him and was about to lay down when she decided against it and climbed down and padded over to his side.

"Gil I have to tell you something" she told him and reached for his left hand. He nodded at her signaling she should go on. She took his hand and placed it on her abdomen.

"Gil, I'm pregnant" as soon as the words had left her mouth she was sure they were going to be all right. She was finally doing something right.

Well I just heard the news today

It seems my life is going to change

I closed my eyes, begin to pray

Then tears of joy stream down my face

With arms wide open

Under the sunlight

Welcome to this place

I'll show you everything

With arms wide open

With arms wide open

Well I don't know if I'm ready

To be the man I have to be

I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side

We stand in awe, we've created life
- Creed With arms wide open

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END OF CHAPTER TWO