Epilogue: Terras Irradient
"FREEZE!"
Terra's brain returned from the fog that she realized she had slipped into, much to her surprise, and even as she became aware of the world again she heard multiple hard clicking noises behind her. She knew the sound: arming guns.
Apparently the police had finally regrouped, and had made their way to where Terra still sat. She hadn't even heard them break down the door. Man, she really had been out of it. Then again, that wasn't much of a surprise. She'd plumed the utter depths of her being for the strength to survive and (she was still amazed at this fact) triumph against empowered enemies without a trace of her former powers, and in doing so used up everything she had. How she was still conscious, Terra didn't know.
"PUT YOUR HANDS UP NOW!" Came the same nasty yell.
And of course, now that the proper authorities had finally arrived, having been absolutely nowhere to be found during her entire ordeal, they thought she shared in the blame for the crimes the Meta-Men had committed.
But Terra didn't even have the strength left to be even mildly outraged. She was far too tired.
So she did what she had been told to, as she slowly raised her hands.
"GET ON YOUR KNEES! HANDS ON YOUR HEAD!"
Terra wondered if she could muster the energy to get up, but she did, as she slipped onto her knees and put her hands on the back of her head.
Heavily armed SWAT members rushed past her, some sweeping their guns back at her while others trained their weapons on the still unconscious and barely moving Puff. Terra looked at them dully with the one good eye she had left, the other one swelled shut, and then rough hands were grabbing her and pulling her up.
At least they were relatively gentle as they patted her down for weapons and put her in handcuffs. Terra didn't say a word during the time, in protest or in explanation. She was worn to the bone, even in that regard.
And so she let them take her away, sure that whatever might happen, it would be better then what she had somehow survived at the hands of four Bang Babies.
"Geez, looks like we missed one hell of a party." One of the SWAT members commented as he scanned around the ruined room with his gun.
"Can't be a party. Not enough kegs." Another team member replied blackly.
"Stop remarking on the alcohol situation and secure her before she wakes up. And where's that power-blocking collar, we need it on her and active or we may as well let her walk out of here!" The apparent leader barked.
"Yes sir. Yeesh." SWAT Team member 2 said as she looked at Puff's unconscious form and own battered features. "Who the hell did this?"
"Blondie?"
"Blondie? How could that thin little waif do ANYTHING? It looks more like she was on the receiving end!"
"Stranger things have happened." Another SWAT member commented as the team began to restrain Puff. "My cousin Bill once claimed he saw the face of Jimmy Hoffa in a tortilla once. Of course, Bill was always a little strange…"
Indeed, the Topeka police had returned, reinforced by various other agencies that had arrived as quickly as possible once word in the grapevine spread of the problem: metahuman attack with no metahuman counter-agents. That had included the FBI and some special metahuman containment units that had managed to get there by unknown means. Strangely, any actual metahuman response had yet to arrive, not even the Justice League. It would later be revealed that they'd been out in a mass response to another South Indian earthquake and typhoon. Talk about poor timing.
Unfortunately, even though the groups that had responded had managed a meager unity to try and deal with the attack of the Meta-Men, different law enforcement groups were notorious for their inability to get along. That was bad enough, but finding that the attacking Bang Babies were suddenly down and out, and in one case completely vanished, it had quickly plunged all the units into chaos.
And hence outside the building where the invention symposium was a massive snarl of vehicles: police cars, fire trucks, ambulances, FBI vans, high tech containment vans, news vans, and god knew what else. That and the bureaucratic chaos has caused the evacuation to be rescinded too soon and hence cars driven by civilians had swiftly returned and gotten involved in the tangle, turning traffic into an absolute nightmare for 20 blocks around the area. The area swarmed with dozens upon dozens of people, most of whom had no idea what they were doing and were busy trying to find out.
Terra, tucked away in a squad car near the edge of the many automobiles, barely noticed, staring dully as the seat in front of her as she was watched by a lone officer. She had actually achieved a very rare state: she was so worn out her brain couldn't even process the command to sleep.
So she sat, as the pandemonium whirled and finally began to work itself out around her.
As the man in the nice gray suit and raincoat walked over to the car. The officer, reading a magazine, jumped up in surprise, trying to look busy as the man removed his FBI shield and showed it to him.
"Agent Hopkins. I'm here to have your prisoner released."
"But sir…we don't know…"
"She was not among the group that attacked your station, the bank footage has no sign of her, and the very scattershot eyewitness reports claim she actually seemed to be opposed to the criminals would be very strong evidence that she was not involved in the illegal aspects of the events here today, and we don't even need that. That's the teenage metahuman from the Teen Titans team located in Florida, the geokenetic Terra. Unlike you, I actually recognize her because I don't waste brain cells watching American Idol."
"Hey!" The officer protested. "Elitist."
"Shut up and let her out. You should be ashamed." Agent Hopkins said. The officer grumbled, but he unlocked the door, helped Terra out, and undid her handcuffs.
"My apologues miss. There's a lot of confusion at the moment." Agent Hopkins said…and then sucked air through his teeth. Terra's face was a bloody, swollen mess, and her whole body was a mass of injuries. She looked at with the one eye she didn't have that was swollen shut, only flickers of understanding coming through the gaze. "Come on, the metahuman containment unit has advanced medical tech. You look like you deserve all of it."
Terra continued her silent treatment, as Agent Hopkins led her away.
It didn't last, as the medical tech did indeed prove to be immensely effective.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Terra said, as she drank ice slivers out of a cup. "I actually feel like me again. Wait, no. I still feel like hamburger." Terra winced, as robot med units finished wrapping her body in bandages.
"If even half of what you told us is true, you're lucky you're NOT hamburger." Agent Hopkins said. "At least we got some of that swelling down so you don't look like hamburger."
Terra didn't reply: she was too busy eating more ice slivers, enjoying the coolness between her teeth.
"Now miss, I can't really see any incongruities in your statement…except…well, WHY?" Agent Hopkins said. "What possibly seized you to face four criminal metahumans on your own, with no actual powers and minimal aid from your vehicle?"
"…It was…just something I had to do." Terra said, as much to herself as Agent Hopkins. "It was…my choice."
"…and you chose to do it alone?"
"….no." Terra said.
"Welcome to the Titans, Tara." Robin said as he handed her a communicator. "I know you'll do us proud."
"Not alone." Terra said. "Not alone."
Hopkins stared, then decided he wasn't going to get anything clear out of that statement and pulled out a cigarette.
"I need you to repeat a few parts of your statement to a few people, see if we can do SOMETHING about this mess." Hopkins said as he put it between his teeth and lit it. "Are you up to moving?"
"I'm a lot tougher then I thought." Terra said, as she took one last mouthful of ice slivers and got off her medical bed. Indeed, the doctor had been utterly flabbergasted that after Terra's initial state and her recounting of the blows she'd taken that she wasn't a broken sack of leaking fluid. Indeed, she didn't even have any broken bones, AGAIN: just a variety of small cracks and minor fractures that the advanced medical tech had fixed with nanomachines. When it came to an answer to that, Terra had none.
Maybe even without my powers my body's more like rock then one would think…Terra was thinking as she walked with Agent Hopkins.
Only to be startled by blaring horns as a massive tow truck somehow drove through the outer-knotted mass of vehicles before it finally ran out of room, as a myriad of noise sprang up from it. Terra stared at it, blinking.
"Oh NOW what?" Agent Hopkins said, as he deviated from his route and headed over to the tow truck, which was lugging a massive eighteen-wheeler attached to a tanker. A familiar 18-wheeler, Terra recognized. It was the one Carmen had bounced off of and rolled off into the horizon. Hotstreak had been picked up and Onyx was still being unglued from the wall from what Terra could gather, but Carmen-Dillo had still not been located, which just showed the oddity of life: you'd think a giant man-armadillo would stand out.
Hopkins was now yelling at the driver of the tow truck, who was yelling back about schedules and approvals and other nonsense that clearly indicated that once again no one knew what the hell was going on, which explained why the tow truck driver though he could just drive through the mass. Terra sighed and coughed, feeling her body ache from the shaking feeling.
Hopkins stormed off to the side, and Terra began following again.
"Hold on a moment miss, I need to see if we can't make this mess any bigger." Hopkins said with heavy sarcasm and headed off to a large cluster of men, where surely more yelling, denial, ass-covering, and the usual ex officio nonsense would occur for who knew how long. Terra sighed as she stood there, wishing she had more ice chips. And a Dr. Pepper. She could really go for a…
You really couldn't blame Terra for not seeing it. There was so much craziness going around her that even Batman might have been caught off guard.
But as fate had it, she never saw the mass of SWAT officers off to her side, along with two members of the metahuman containment squad whose name Terra kept forgetting, moving out of the science building. She never saw the struggle as something clearly went wrong somewhere.
But she DID hear it when the yell for assistance abruptly turned into a series of yells and cries, and Terra whirled around.
As Puff blew away the officers trying to restrain her, yanking the faultily attached power restraint collar from her neck even as the men and women hit the ground around her. Puff looked like an utter mess, but even her injuries couldn't hide the utter and terribly familar fury in her face as she screamed and fired off two blasts of concussive gas, blowing away the nearest officers.
"SHE'S ESCAPING!"
"GET THE HOSE!"
"COLLAR SHORTED-!"
"SOMEONE…!"
As Puff's eyes locked onto Terra.
"YOU." Puff snarled.
Terra's eyes widened, and then, as the fear exploded through her, the fear she thought she'd exhausted and overcome, but no, fear was eternal, the deepest feeling man could have, it would never be dead and gone and it sure wasn't here, Terra reacted in a knee-jerk fashion and threw her hand up to summon some adamantine protection.
And remembered, for the last time, her powers were still gone.
And then Puff was flying at her.
"I'LL KILL YOU YOU…!" Puff bellowed, as she began inhaling: no more screwing around, no more torture, she was going to acid-mist Terra right out of existence.
And Terra knew that even surrounded by police and other authorities that she was completely on her own. No one would get a gun out, or fire a taser, or nightstick Puff on the head, at least not in time to do anything for Terra. And Puff was going straight for the kill.
After all this…
Time, in that final moment, seemed to slow to a crawl, as Puff began completing her inhale…
So after all this, I still die.
NO! You're NOT going to just roll over and die NOW! FIGHT!
How? What should I do? Punch her?
YES!
It won't matter. She'll just turn intangible. Hell, the way that acid comes out, to fire it she probably already turns in…tan…gi…
…oh god I AM crazy.
And so in her last moment on Earth, Terra decided she'd meet death on her terms….and dove at Puff.
…it didn't feel like smoke. It felt more like Terra had leapt through a waterfall of boiling hot butterscotch, the intense, noxious gas mixture searing her face and body, Terra barely managing to bite down a scream.
But she made it, as Terra's final burst of deductive reasoning bore fruit: she'd gone right THROUGH Puff.
And life granted her one unexpected bonus: having someone ram through her form as she prepared to fire one of her gaseous attacks acted, to Puff, like the equivalent of a punch in the stomach.
As she gasped out her acid mist, spraying it before her like air being forced from a human's lungs, even as the sensation stunned Puff and rooted her to the spot, as Terra hit the ground and rolled over, needing to know which way to dive…
And then she saw it, even as Puff's corrosive attack sizzled through the tank. She'd never actually noted WHAT the tanker had been hauling. But the words on it were clear.
TOPEKA DEPARTMENT OF WASTE TREATMENT.
"Oh." Terra said. "Shit."
And then she got the hell out of dodge, ironically BY dodging by rolling away like she was trying to set a speed record.
As Puff looked up in horror…
And the tank blew.
Terra was only aware of a horrified scream and one of the worst smells of her life, and by the time she got up it was over.
Puff lay on the ground, once again soaked, this time in among the most horrid stuff one could concept of. Blissfully, she seemed to have passed out. Or maybe she was just in overwhelming shock.
"…well." Terra said, as she looked at the scene, her hand over her mouth. "Could be worse. Could have ruined your car too."
Puff did not reply, as she lay on the ground in the fate of her own making.
As a muscular black man with thinning hair abruptly walked up and looked at the disgusting tableau.
And as expected to those who would recognize him, Ron Simmons only said one word.
"…DAMN."
And then he left, probably heading back into the field to the left he'd come out of.
"I swear you should get a portion of all their paychecks. Considering you did all the work." Agent Hopkins said a while later.
The mess had finally been relatively cleaned up, more of less. Puff and two of her crew members were now secure and on their way to processing, the tow truck and its ruined cargo had been hauled off, the liquefied feces and who knew what else that had taken Puff out once and for all had been mostly cleaned, and Terra had finally explained her story enough for people to be satisfied.
"Yeah, like that'll happen." Terra groused. "Now, what else do you want me to do? Piss in a cup? Recite my ABC's backwards? Show you my ninja info cards?"
"What?"
"My ninja info cards."
"What the heck are those?"
"My ninja info cards."
"…this is an in joke no one with a life will get, isn't it?"
"My ninja info…ugh." Terra said. "Why can't certain writers restrain themselves…"
"No, nothing else. I think that will do it." Agent Hopkins said.
"Great. Now all I have to do is find a bus schedule, figure out a bus to wherever I left my car, replace the tires, listen to his whining…"
"Oh, ye of little faith." KITT said, as he rolled up next to Terra.
Without a scratch on him.
Terra dropped her Dr. Pepper.
"I know, I just look that damn good." KITT commented.
"Good? Well yeah but…Kitt! You were melted on one side, your front was smashed to hell, who knows what damage there was I didn't see…what…how…?"
"What can I say? AAA kicks ass."
"…I'll take it." Terra said, and hopped into her car.
But, once again, just as she was about to start the engine…
"HEY HEY, WHOA!" Came a voice, and then one of the police officers ran up to her car. To her annoyance, Terra recognized him as one of the mockers from earlier.
Fortunately, Agent Hopkins and the people he'd had her talk to were still around.
"What?" Terra said.
"You can't just drive away! You were brought in on a warrant!" The officer said, and before Hopkins could interject the officer 'helpfully' shoved a file in his hands.
"Oh yeah, that…" Terra groaned, as Hopkins began looking over the file.
"Hey! Hey!" Came another sudden voice, and another police officer ran over. "I just got word. Our out of state guests, uh…they can't make it."
"What?" Said Officer 1, as Hopkins and his fellows watched, Hopkins' eyes flicking back and forth from the file.
"They finally got through…apparently they hit something. Or something hit them. Whatever, they won't be arriving any time soon."
"…well…still, we should still hold her, right? I mean…!"
"Oh dear, it appears in all the problems the young metahuman girl brought up on charges slipped away before we realized we had to hold her. Oops." Hopkins said, as he closed the file.
"But…"
"A bench warrant should probably be sworn, but then again, the charges seemed rather nonsensical to begin with. Would probably be best for everyone if they were all dropped and forgotten." Hopkins said. "More trouble then its worth."
"Er…"
Hopkins ripped the file in half.
"…sure…fine…less paperwork…" The officer said, and walked off.
"You have a good day now, miss." Hopkins said quietly.
"Oh, too much crap for it to be considered a GOOD day…but it's definitely getting better." Terra said, and started her car. "Now, do I actually need to tell you where I'm going?"
"It wouldn't be much of a vacation if you did." Hopkins replied.
"Aye aye, Mission Commander Swanbeck." Terra said, and drove off, KITT weaving its way through the still rather tangled mass of vehicles, past the news vans and its mass of reporters, and then through an amazing shortcut through the traffic mess around the area and onto a road out of Topeka.
"We should stop and get some gas Kitt, before we end up getting stranded in Pleasant Valley or something…" Terra said.
"Oh don't worry about gas Lady Terra."
"What, did AAA fill you up as well?"
"Well no…you see…some would think one cannot siphon gas from cars without opposing thumbs…but they would be wrong…and one would think one would feel guilty over this siphoning until one knows said gas came from the news vans. Then one will just accept it."
"You don't see me complaining." Terra said.
"Lady Terra, I must ask, even if it has been asked before. Why did you do this?"
Terra was silent.
"…I 'unno." Terra said. "File it under hero stuff."
"I'll never understand you humans."
"Join the club." Terra said and reached for the radio knob. "Now, time for some inspiring exit music!"
Whirr-klick.
"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you…"
"…okay, let's try another station."
KLIK.
"I FOUGHT THE LAW, AND THE LAW WON!"
"No."
KLIK.
"Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in the town!"
"Meh, close enough…"
"Should you really accept that Lady Terra, considering who would be most likely to try and stage a jailbreak?"
"Argh, fine! One last try!"
KLIK.
"Hello, and this is the Rush Limbaugh show!"
"ACCCCCCK! Kill it! Kill it with fire!" Terra said, and snapped the dial to the off position. "Radio sucks. Want to play 20 Questions?"
"I actually have just one, Lady Terra."
"What?"
"Did they ever manage to locate that Carmen-Dillo person?"
Somewhere in the sticks. One old cop car, newly wrecked. A very dazed Bang Baby. And a bunch of rednecks.
"…well, we ain't found no pork rinds, but ya ever had barbequed armadillo?" Hillbilly Cop 1 said.
"AH! SCARY!" Carmen-dillo, having finally come to a stop by crashing into the cop cars, shrieked as he realized he was out of the frying pan and into the fire.
"Ack! It talks!" Another hillbilly cop said. "We don't take kindly to that in Yankiessuxlol313 County!"
"…huh?" Carmen-Dillo said. "Do you actually realize the South is NOTHING LIKE THIS?"
"…SHOOT 'IM UP, SHOOT 'IM UP, POW POW!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Carmen screamed as he fled, as the remaining cars gave chase, guns firing and voices whooping, into the distant setting sun.
As Terra, in full straw hat and overalls regalia, chewing on a grass stalk, leaned into the picture and winked.
"Ya'll come back now, y'hear!"
THE END
(Closing credits: Terra driving alone on a road with the wind blowing her hair, the sun setting behind her. Credits scroll up, as 'There and Back Again' by Daughtry, 'Gunboat' by Vixtrola, and 'Feel Good Inc' by the Gorillaz all play over the credits. Afraid you'll have to use your imagination here.
Story's done. Thanks for reading. See you around.)