Kris Furillo-Davis
It's been like this for awhile now, waking up and feeling sick. I don't know exactly when it started, but I feel terrible all the time. My head has been living in the toilet. I look inside, staring at its swirling contents. I feel more vile coming up, but when I open my mouth, nothing. Instead of getting up, I lay myself down on the cool tiled floors, curling myself into a ball. I shut my eyes, forcing myself to sleep, but I can't. I sit up abruptly, crossing my legs beneath me. I look to my left and see Junior peacefully sleeping on his side. He's snoring lightly. I grab the edge of the marbled sink and heave myself up. He doesn't stir. I look at myself through the mirror. I look horrible. I open the medicine cabinet slowly, praying Junior won't hear me. When I've opened it all the way, I grab what I need and shut its door. I look at Junior one more time before closing the door behind me.
I wait. And wait. And wait. How can this be taking so long? The stupid box said 1 to 2 minutes. I think back and I realize I've only been married for a little over a year. One good year. One great year. Things have been going well. Junior runs the Davis Farm happily with his dad, Ken. I just started getting back into being a jockey. Matt and Dani are planning a wedding. Jean and Pablo are having fun. I take a deep breath and shake my thoughts away. I take the pregnancy test without looking. I'm not sure what to expect, but I have all the symptoms, why bother? But I must be sure. What if I just have a really bad cold? What if I'm getting the flu? No. This is different.
Junior and I have had a pregnancy scare before, but it came out negative. Since then, I always have a spare test just in case. I gather up the courage since this time, I'm finding out alone. I open my hand and there it is, clear as crystal.