[a notice]

ATTENTION GALLAGHER ACADEMY SENIORS:

This year as your ongoing Cultures and Assimilation project, you will be writing letters to your fellow peers at the Blackthorne Institute. By doing so, you will work on your writing skills, manners, and forge great friendships with our brother school! Rest assured, ladies, your grade for this project will be based on completion only. These letters will not be read by anyone but you, your pen pal, and whomever you choose to share said letter with. Letters will be sent once a week, so please have your envelopes signed, sealed, and ready for the post.

For your first letter, I recommend you talk about yourself, your interests (likes and dislikes), most important people in your life (pick 3), your own accomplishments, and what you hope to gain from this valuable experience.

And remember, ladies, enjoy this! I promise it will be the highlight of your year.

With affection,

Mme. Dabney

Hey Blackthorne Boy,

Hello there! I'm Ivy, so nice to meet you! Hope life's treating you amazingly, especially with all the amazing weather we've been getting. I'm so happy to be writing a letter to our Blackthorne spy brethren-

Shit, doesn't that make you nauseous?

Relax. I'm only taking you for a ride, my teacher- good ol Madame Dabney- was watching over my shoulder like a hawk to make sure I'm not harassing the poor Backthorne boy who got partnered with me. Apparently I have a habit with rude and inappropriate language, for shame. I mean, fuck that shit. Gotta keep up with appearances, right?

In case you're wondering, life's treating me like it caught me in bed with it's wife. Though I really doubt you're wondering.

They've got us locked up in the Cultures and Assimilation classroom, making us sit isolated from one another so we can write our letters in peace (read: utter boredom). In fact, Madame Dabney even separated me from my friends to make me sit in the very front row. I can just smell the future lawsuit in the air. It wasn't even my fault. Jules asked me to borrow a pencil and we ended up a tiny, minor fist fight. No big deal.

My hand's starting cramp up since I spent the better part of last night writing a Covert Operations essay I should've done over the summer, so I'll make this easier on myself and go through Dabney's mandatory first letter points in bullet form:

-Name: Ivy, I kinda said that before. Hope you're paying attention. I occasionally go by Gustavo St. Ames, but that's only when I'm feeling frisky.

-Age: 89, but I don't look a day over fifty.

-Three Most Important Things in My Life: Julianne Baxter Maris, Sophia Penelope Williams, and my good buddy Jack Daniels.

-Likes: Anything I want. Who are you, my mother?

-Dislikes: People who list what they dislike, when that list of dislikes consists of things that any sane person would dislike.

-Something I'm Proud Of: Well, I've managed to keep up the facade that I'm actually writing a meaningful, serious letter to my pen pal for the past forty minutes. Jules quit after three and Sophie looks like she's gonna fall asleep. I win.

-Something I Hope the Blackthorne/Gallagher Letter Exchange Will Accomplish: I sincerely hope that this exchanging of the letters will result in strengthening our schools' ties and create alliances and friendships that will last a lifetime.

Or, you know, you can just go ahead and shove this letter up your ass.

In case I haven't been totally obvious, spy boys suck. Blackthorne ones? Not even worth it.

Look alive,
Ivy

Dear Blackthorne Boy,

Wanna know something funny? I can predict the kinds of letters you and your fellow Blackthorne Boys will receive through this letter exchange.

1.) The Repressed, I've-Just-Realized-I-Go-To-An-All-Girl's-School-And-I-Want-BOYS letter: This can be identified by overly girly, loopy handwriting on fancy stationary paper, with perhaps a spritz of perfume added in for good measure. Key elements of this letter are mentions of their current relationship status (single, no doubt), hobbies, and other inane facts about themselves to make it painfully obvious that they haven't socialized with a male their age in a while.

2.) The Cool, I-Realize-That-Males-Are-Basically-The-Same-As-Females-But-A-Little-Different: You'll know it's these kind of letters from the try hard use of slang and curse words, but still. They are totally aware of your boyness (manhood? Sounds dirty.) They want to impress you. They want you to think you're one of them. And just when you let your guard down, they'll ensnare you like a hungry alligator would a gazelle.

So, don't be fooled, Blackthorne Boy.

3.) The I-Could-Not-Give-A-Flying-Flip-About-This letter: As I look around the room to my classmates and their writing, I can guarantee you at least one Blackthorne boy will get this type.

Tell me how that goes. Tell me if I'm right, I usually am.

Madame Dabney wants us to write about ourselves. I've been alive for seventeen years and I've only got one piece of paper. I'm going to have to summarize.

I'm Sophie. My parents thought it'd be clever to name me after the Greek word for wisdom. It's sort of redundant to call myself smart, because aren't we all in some way? IQ numbers don't mean anything. I'm MENSA certified, but ask me to bake a cake and I'm screwed.

My best friends in the world are Jules and Ivy. We were destined to become best friends. Our mothers were, after all. But that's not the only reason why. If people were seasons, Jules would be summer (hotheaded), Ivy would be spring (unexpected), and me? I would be that weird time of the year where it's not quite spring, but winter is over. Or when summer is cooling down and autumn is just beginning. Either way, it's undefined. Don't think too much about that, I like it that way. You need those undefined changes in weather to make a full year.

What season are you?

Peace,

Sophie

Blackthorne Boy,

If I wanted to waste my time, I'd go to a normal school.

Cheers,

Jules

an: see, i told you we'd update soon! and with letters! the crowd goes wild! short chapter, but i promise they'll lengthen in time. this is just a taste of their personalities. the boys are up next.

thanks to everyone who reviewed our last version of this story and this new one. we got a lot of hits, but not a lot of feedback. let's change that, yeah? tell us what you thought! :)

with affection (:p)

asha! and em on the side.