My legs and lungs were on fire, yet I ran on. I pushed and pushed wondering if I'd pass out. Dust clung to my calves and sweat dripped down my back. I swallowed back the tears that blurred my vision and just kept running. Usually, I would probably sit in the barn and cry into Ace, but I just couldn't do that now...knowing that soon I would lose that privilege. I would lose my home, maybe even Ace.

Desperately I gasped for air and pushed myself harder and faster. Leaping over large rocks and brush; my legs ate up the ground. I don't know how long I had been running but the sun had started to set by the time I tripped over a rock I didn't see. Since I head been running head-long, I tumbled as I hit the ground. The ground dropped from beneath me and I got tossed down a hill landing at the bottom of it on my back.

Gasping for breath, I stayed there, not moving if you didn't count the trembling and convulsions my body was going through. The tears I had held back before had finally broken free. I rolled to my side and drew my knees up to my chest; I curled into a small ball and cried. Sobs and trembles wracked through my body. I was angry, sad, and helpless, never in my life had I felt so lost.

What was I going to do?

I cried out in distress, screaming at nothing but feeling a release as I did, asking the same question over and over again.

Why? Whywhywhywhy?

I'd give up all that I had to keep the ranch and everyone on it. I'd give my clothes, my guitar...I'd give everything I had that was useless compared to River Bend.

I would give my life.

My screams and pleas died as I lost my voice. Silently the tears kept coming, trailing down my face and dripping into the dirt.

The sun had set, the stars came out along with a full moon, and I hadn't moved an inch.

God, please help. Let this all be a horrible dream, let me wake in my bed to the smell of Gram's cooking. To get dressed tiredly for school and go downstairs to find dad with his coffee and morning paper. To see Gram smile at me with a plate of food in hand. To dad rustling my hair as he gets up to go out to work. Let me keep my life.

But as the cool night air sent shivers up my spine, I knew that wasn't going to happen.

x-x-x-x

"Sam!"

"Samantha!"

Whether or not the yells were real, I wouldn't know. I was in a state of shock...comatose. Beams of light searched the ground around me before settling on my balled up figure.

"Sam...," someone sighed, a mix of relief and worry in their voice. The sound of a horse snort and someone dismounting came from the top of the hill but I didn't bother to look up. I couldn't, I was stiff, cold, and weak. Rocks and dirt tumbled down the hill as someone skidded to the bottom.

"Brat?" Jake kneeled down in front of me and brushed the hair away from my face, which was still buried into my knees. He sighed and grabbed my arms, unwrapping them from around my knees. Carefully, he draped them over his shoulder and lifted me from the ground.

I moaned and tightened my arms around his neck, burying my face into his chest.

"It's ok...c'mon," he squeezed me tight and didn't say anything as fresh tears soaked his shirt.

Silently, he climbed back up the hill shifted me a little so he could gather up the reins to Witch's bridle. Some how he managed to lift both of us into the saddle and I held on tighter as we moved into a walk. I clung to Jake as if he were my life source, right now, he was.

x-x-x-x

Slowly the sound of voices increased, they sounded insistent and worried. Some commanding and shouting, it was all a loud white noise to me.

"I found her!" Jake called and a new wave of chattering broke out. Witch and Jake both tensed as the sound of footsteps surrounded them and I buried my face deeper into Jake's chest.

"She's ok, back up," Jake tone sounded strained and again I felt us moving as he dismounted. "I got her," he said as I felt another pair of hands on me. "Let's just get her inside."

The night had gotten cold and I shivered, every bone in my body aching as I did. His boots clomped on the porch and the screen door slammed behind him. The stairs creaked under our weight and the water on the shower had been turned on.

"I'll get her in." I recognized Gram's voice and felt Jake try to set me down. I fisted his shirt in my hands and refused to let go. He sighed and stood back up.

"Hold this," he handed something to Gram and his weight shifted as he shucked his boots. I felt my own shoes being peeled off along with my socks. I tensed as hot water soaked my skin and aching muscles. The shower door clicked shut and Jake sat down on the tiled shower floor. He sighed and as did I, the warm water felt good on my body and I felt my muscles relax.

My death grip on Jake loosened a little and I relaxed into his body that was now warm from the hot water. As thoughts and feelings slowly started coming back, I peeled my face away from his chest and looked up.

His black hair was tied back and dripping wet, a few pieces that had escaped the leather string hung in his face, droplets from them dripping in my face. Those deep brown eyes stared down at me, filled with worry and drops of water flecked his long eyelashes. Guiltily, I realized he was completely soaked through because of me and self consciously, I realized so was I. I also realized we were sitting on the floor in the shower...together. But those thoughts clung to the back of my mind, a small nagging worry. Right now, a bigger worry flowed through my thoughts.

I had acted foolishly and been completely immature about this situation. If I couldn't handle learning about the fate of our home like an adult how was I going to change it? How could I find a way to help it if I was only a child? That was how I had acted and made everyone else worry when they already had enough to worry about. Especially Gram and dad.

I closed my eyes and took a shuddering breath, ashamed of myself. I untangled myself from Jake and sat in the corner, facing the wall. Again, I tucked my knees up to my chest, some how feeling a little more at ease when sitting like this, as if it would guard me from the world. Too bad that was also completely childish.

"I'm sorry," it came out hoarse, my throat dry and scratchy from all the crying, screaming and running.

I heard Jake's soppy clothes squish as he shifted his position. He grabbed my arm and yanked me back to his lap.

"You'll freeze over there, Brat," he said pulling me back under the water. It had been a little cold over there, but with all the steam I'd doubt I'd actually freeze. But still, I shivered as the hot water ran down me again. I leaned against Jake's chest appreciating his comforting presents.

He didn't tell me it was ok, he wouldn't tell me lies even if it were just some form of comfort. He wouldn't say it's all going to be alright, that we would figure something out, because he wouldn't say something unless it was certain. It scared me, but also made me appreciate him more. I didn't want to hear lies, I just wanted someone there for me and he was.

"I'm an idiot," my throat hurt and I was finally feeling the true beating I had given my body.

Jake let out a sigh. "The first step is admittance," he tried teasing weakly, making a small attempt at a smile that never reached his eyes and came out more as a grimace.

Still I snorted, coughed, and then groaned.

"Hey...," his voice was soft and he drew back to look at my face. "You ok? Did you hurt anything?" He didn't ask if I was ok emotionally, he knew it was probably a waste of breath since he could clearly see I wasn't ok.

I shook my head. "I don't think I hurt anything...majorly. But everything does hurt to an extent," I sounded like a raspy old man with a terrible smokers cough.

Jake grunted as he lifted me from his lap and lay me on the shower floor. He hovered over me and inspected each arm, squeezing and checking mobility. He scooted down to my legs and I let out a whimper as he bent and inspected them.

"Sorry," he muttered and pushed the stray pieces of hair away from his face. "Nothing broken though." He hovered over me again and pressed down on my collar bone. I bit my lip, already knowing it wasn't broken, just hurt like crazy. He glanced up again apologetically and moved down to my stomach.

"Uh...," he paused and I rolled my eyes. Sure, it may be a little awkward lying in a shower poking and prodding at my body, but it was for medical reasons, and it was Jake. I pulled my shirt up till my stomach and ribs were exposed, stopping at the base of my bra. Even though I had been the one rolling my eyes, I still blushed as his fingers touched my stomach, slowly putting pressure.

Jake's jaw was clenched and he glanced up at my grimace before quickly finishing his inspection. He pulled down my shirt and rested his hands on his knees.

"Well, you are definitely going to be sore. Your ribs are probably bruised and you strained your muscles but that's about it," he shrugged and looked back at my face frowning. "Besides some cuts and bruises."

I don't know how he had gotten one but he climbed over me and leaned over my face with a wash cloth in hand. Gently, he rubbed some dirt--and I realized even some blood--from my face. I flinched as he cleaned a cut above my eyebrow.

"Sorry." He was really saying that a lot. I closed my eyes and sighed, feeling better as more dirt washed away from me.

"Ow," I hissed weakly as again he dabbed at the cut on my forehead.

"Quit whining, Brat," his voice was tender making the words less harsh, his fingers pressed on the cut and when I opened my eyes I found his face inches from mine, inspecting the cut. "Geez, this one could almost use stitches." He said drawing back. Water dripped into my eyes and I closed them again.

The water was less hot now and we had probably used all the warm water up. Jake hoisted me up and shut the water off. Dripping wet he carried me out of the shower and set me down on the counter. He ducked down grabbing towels out of the cabinets and wrapped one around my shoulders and threw another over my head.

"Wait here, I'm going to get Gram," he said and I peeled the towel off of my head, reaching for him blindly at the same time. I found his arm and he paused, looking back at me.

I blushed, stupidly. "Um, thanks," I whispered hoarsely, wondering if he could even understand what I said.

Jake shrugged, paused, then sighed defeated and wrapped his arms around me. After a moment of shock I hugged him back and too soon he was pulling away.

"Don't worry about it," he said giving me an honest smile before walking out of the bathroom with soaking wet clothes.

I sighed and hugged the towel closer waiting for Gram like Jake had told me to. Gram padded into the bathroom, a change of clothes in her hands. Her eyes were red and again I felt guilt wash over me.

"Gram...I-" she cut me off holding up a hand.

"Shhh, just get change honey," she said pulling the towels off of me. She helped me peel the wet clothes off of me and they landed on the floor with a splat. I put on the dry clothes Gram had brought me and already felt immensely better. Gram braided my wet hair and it felt good to get it out of my face.

She frowned and poked at my cut above my eye. I winced and she sighed.

"Oh dear, let's take you down and see about getting that stitched up."

I hopped off the counter and groaned in pain. My legs felt like they were going to splinter under me and my muscles spazzed a little before tensing. I was surprised I even made it to the stairs and I sat on my butt deciding to slide down them instead of trying to walk. My teeth clacked together and my back screamed its protest...maybe that wasn't my best idea.

"Sam!" Gram sounded exasperated as she rounded the corner and looked down the stairs at me. Jake and dad ran into the family room from the kitchen, they looked from Gram to me. I still sat on the ground and tried to smile but grimace instead. I realized Jake had put on some of dad's clothes and his hair was tied back neatly again.

"Are you ok?" Dad asked squatting in front of me. "Did you fall?" He looked up the stairs and down again.

"I'm fine...I just slid down them," I said in my rasping voice.

"Well that was stupid," Jake said cracking a small smile and I my lip twitched. Then I looked at dad seriously.

"Dad...I'm sorry," I whispered to him while looking down at my feet. His hand lifted my chin up and he rested it on my cheek. He stared at me his eyes boring into mine.

"No, I'm sorry Sam. I should have told you we were in trouble. You shouldn't of had to find out like that." He hugged me and I slumped into his grasp finally accepting the truth.

We had lost River Bend.

x-x-x-x

I winced as Mr. Ely did another stitch. I was sitting in the back of his truck, his first aid kit opened beside me.

"Sorry about this Sam," he said as he carefully did another stitch. I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes tight.

"It's 'kay," I said, my voice now almost completely lost, everything coming out as hoarse whispers.

"What you do...tumble down a mountain?" He asked, teasingly. Probably trying to make me feel better...or draw my attention away to the constant poking a pulling on my head.

I cracked a small smile and winced, regretting it. "Close."

Mr. Ely shook his head and gave a final tug before securing the stitches. He wrapped gauze around it and I felt like I had just come out of WWII...not a tumble down a hill. He patted my shoulder and stepped back.

"All set," he said giving the bandage one last final inspection before he started putting his things away.

I smiled weakly and felt my body creak as I jumped off the truck. "Thank you." I said hoping he could hear me.

He smiled and nodded before turning back to his supplies. I stretched and groaned; I felt like I was fifty.

"Take it easy Brat," Jake walked up and peered into my face.

I rolled my eyes. "Never."

He shook his head. "You managed to damage everything but your personality...good job," he snorted and I considered if punching him would hurt me or him more. Probably me.

"Can it Ely," I said not sounding the least bit threatening with my raspy old man voice.

He sobered and stared at me seriously. "You want to talk about it?" He asked and I shook my head.

"No...I'm ok," I said earning a disbelieving look from Jake.

His eyebrow raised and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder leading me away from all the commotion and lifted me into the cab of his truck. He gave me a warning glare.

"Don't move." He said darting towards the house only to return a few seconds later. He climbed into the driver seat and started the truck, it groaned to life.

"Where are we going?" I asked feeling like I was yelling so I could be heard over the engine.

Jake shrugged and put the truck into gear, smiling at me mischievously. "I don't know."

Yet, he still drove out of the ranch yard, destination unknown.