WOW. This is a LONG chapter! (that's what she said)...sorry, couldn't help myself. I watch wayyy to much The Office xD
RabidZukoFangirl:
:D :( :D -emotions through the chapter. Lol! This chapter will make you laugh! *evil laugh* (hopefully)
Jessie Wyatt James:
I know, I know! Hopefully things will work out, guess you'll have to wait and see ;) oh, but this is a SAKE so you don't have to worry about that!
pagepacer:
CRAZY RIGHT? Lol but I really liked your comparison. 'it's like old people living with their kids!' ha! Spot on...hah!
MusicAdict101:
That would be funny! Could you imagine? 'Feeling lucky I bought a lotto ticket along with my cherry Pepsi. Even though it's illegal...but with shaking hands I scratched it off. AND I WON! I turned to Jake excitedly and gave him a big smooch.' The end. Lmao xD
MaxRideFan35:
DAMN! I was actually certain that his name was Kip. Haha, oh well...future reference I guess :)
FivelFleurHavens:
YAY!
AceTrace:
Thanks for the suggestions! I do sorta already have a plan though...so hopefully it'll work! :)
Sammy Girl:
Haha! Me too! xD
livandletliv:
Bon appetit! :D Haha, hmm...keep reading and you'll see ;)
WHEW! Thanks for all the great reviews! :D Oh, and since this is a long chapter you should leave long reviews ;)
"Later Brat...," Jake said as he climbed into his rusty truck. He paused and glanced at me; a crease building between his eyebrows. "Oh...and try not to do anything too stupid. Please?"
He waited for me to confirm that I wouldn't. I rolled my eyes and gave a dramatic huff. "Whatever you say chief."
With a final glare he climbed into his truck; it roared to life making me cringe a little and with a final glance in my direction he drove away.
I brought my arm around from behind me and smiled down at my crossed fingers. "Sike," I added, but it was too late; he was already gone.
x-x-x-x
I walked into the house smiling. Surprised that just about an hour ago I was ready to jump off the barn roof. Gram glanced up from the stove and did a double take. My smile surely throwing her off. She wiped her hands on her apron and walked over to me.
"Sam...?" She glanced at me cautiously as if she thought I had gone crazy.
Maybe I had.
"I'll be in my room!" I yelled as I dashed out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
I shut the door behind me and glanced around. Where would I find some paper...?
With a thump I dived under the bed; swallowing a few dust bunnies on the way. Coughing I scrambled through junk that I never used...along with junk trash that gets shoved under here when Gram tells me to clean my room. I was surprised she wasn't a little curious that it only took me about five minutes to clean my room when in looks like a Texas tornado's been through it...one look under here would explain everything that's for sure.
Needless to say I was glad Gram failed to look under my bed.
I dug around looking for the notebook I never use; my hand touched something slimy and I jumped back hitting my head on the wooden frame.
"Son of a preacher man!" I yelled; forgetting that Gram and dad were right downstairs. I bit my lip and held back my giggle of pain.
Yeah...I laugh when I get hurt...don't ask.
I looked for the source of slime and grimaced.
"I forgot about this!" I pulled back a paper plate with a piece of moldy cheese pizza on it. Catching a whiff of it I gagged. "Oh dat's nasty," I cringed and pushed it away...reminding myself to throw it away later.
A knock on the door made me jump again...and hit my head again. "Curses!" I giggled again.
"Sam? Honey are you alright?" Gram asked from the hallway. "What's all that commotion?"
"I'm-uh-cleaning?" I said, making me want to smack myself. That was the most unbelievable thing I've ever said in my life...and I had tried to convince Jake that, that was in fact a UFO at the fair...
"Okay...dinner's almost ready," she called back; sounding unconvinced.
I sighed in relief when I heard her go back down the stairs. Though I wasn't sure why I was being so secretive...maybe I just didn't want Gram to see under my bed. Or anyone for that matter...people would have to sign a liability form before looking under here.
I scrambled a bit more before finally finding what I had been looking for. "Ah-ha!" I exclaimed pulling back excitedly and hitting my head...again.
"Seriously?" I hissed rubbing it and retreating from the war zone. The pizza could wait a little longer...I mean its already been under there for about a month anyhow.
I clambered up onto my bed and flipped through the pages. It was empty of course. Shrugging I grabbed the pen that was stuck inside of it and decided it was time to fill the pages...well at least one or two...depending on how many it would take.
So it was true when Jake had mentioned I wasn't much of a planner...but I was a great schemer. Whenever I wanted to pull off the ultimate prank or get back at someone I would write down my plan...well mostly doodle it with stick people since words were boring.
When I was planning on making an itsy bitsy (you know...just enough to scare him a little) explosion outside of Jake's room Gram had found my last book and was a bit disturbed. I believe that faithful books ashes still remain in our fireplace...
Afterwards, I had taken another book from my school supplies...not like it was being used. But my scheming was put on hold and the book got shoved under my bed one day when I was 'cleaning'. Now it happily sat in my lap.
Scheming was like second nature to me. The pages just fill up with brilliantly evil ideas—well not too evil—now I sat satisfied and with ten pages full of the brilliant things I was going to do.
*Title: Things to Do Before Leaving Darton. By: Samantha Forster
Time limit: 2 weeks (14 days)
Supplies: *Top Secret* (don't want Gram to flip her lid again at the word 'napalm'.)
Goal: Eliminate, Humiliate, and Procreate (ha-ha...just kidding on that last one...it was the only word that I could think of that rhymed...)
Hereby commence operation 'Death Star'
Side note: Ask Jen to come up with a better name...maybe one not referring to Star Wars.*
Doodles—or as I like to refer to as blueprints—filled the pages after that. Smiling victoriously I flipped through my work, reviewing everything.
It was absolutely perfect.
I rolled towards my nightstand to grab the phone and fell off with a thunk. My grace was really top notch today. Not.
Pausing, I waited to see if Gram would come back upstairs. Much to my relief; she didn't. So I quickly dialed the phone number I had memorized and waited.
One ring...two...thr-
"Hello?" Jen answered sounding breathless.
"Herro pwease...who this?" I put on my fake Asian accent...so much more fun than British...since Ryan and Rachel ruined that for me too.
"Hey Sam," Jen answered not missing a beat.
I blinked. "How did you know it was me?"
"I'm psychic."
"Really?"
"Of course not. What's up?" Jen sighed and I could picture her rolling her eyes. It wasn't my fault I could be gullible...okay well maybe it was just a little.
"What are you doing tomorrow?" I asked quickly, my excitement building.
"Um, probably go through my SAT handbook mom just got me!" She said excitedly.
I gagged audibly. "Ew, but tomorrow it Sat...as in Saturday," leave it to Jen to still be doing something educationally. To me; Saturday was deemed a no educational value day. People should seriously consider making this a national thing.
"So?" She obviously didn't get my point.
"I'm coming over," I announced, not bothering to ask if it was alright. Call me rude.
"But-" Jen started to protest but I cut her off.
"No but's about it!" I sing-songed. "See you tomorrow!"
"Wait!" Jen called before I hung up.
"Yes?" I waited for her to begin protesting again but instead she sighed.
"What time?" She asked.
It felt nice to actually feel like I wasn't forcing my presence...too much at least.
"Oh, probably in the morning! I'll ride over."
x-x-x-x
That whole 'in the morning' plan failed needless to say.
I rolled over and rubbed my sleepy eyes to get a clearer picture of the clock.
Noon. It was noon.
"Woopsie daisy," I grunted trying to kick off my tangled sheets.
At least this gave Jen a little time to get some morning SAT reading like she wanted...
I hurried to the closet, a sheet still wrapped around my leg causing all my blankets to be dragged off the bed. I tripped on them but caught myself on the closet door.
"Presenting her highness Fairy Graceful," I announced stupidly then laughed at my own joke. Fairy sounded like very—therefore very graceful...well it was funny to me.
I grabbed a pair of jeans with holes on the knees—except unlike most people I hadn't bought them like that-and my Superman tank. Quickly, I threw them both on and did a quick check in the mirror. My hair stuck up in all different angles and was a tangle mess; grabbing a ponytail off of the dresser I threw it up.
It sounded like a herd of elephants was going down the stairs as I ran down them. The kitchen was empty which I wasn't surprised. Usually, I would be out of the house too but not today. I walked to the fridge so I could grab an apple to go and found a note on it.
Morning sleepy head!
I rolled my eyes...Gram would write something like that...
Your dad and I went into town to take care of a few things. We'll be back later.
Gram
Oh, and Jen called.
Sighing I crumbled up the note, feeling a little annoyed. Again she was being vague about everything. Going to take care of a few things? Wonderful.
I grabbed an apple and slammed the fridge door shut and went outside, not bothering to call Jen. Blaze was lying on the porch and jumped up when I came out. He wagged his tail excitedly and ran circles around me. It took most of my concentration to not trip or step on him.
"Blaze!" I yelled, annoyed. He whimpered and lay back down on the porch, making me feel like a jerk. I knelt down and gave him a quick scratch on the head. "Later boy," I said softly, caving in to those puppy eyes. Made me wish I could pull off the whole puppy eyes thing.
I skipped off the porch and into the blazing sun. It was going to be a hot one that's for sure, just made me all the more glad I wore a tank. I squinted my eyes, which reminded me of my Stetson that I thankfully left in the barn. Walking into the shaded barn was a shock and I had to stand for a moment, disoriented, waiting for my eyes to adjust. Blinking quickly did the trick.
Ace perked up when I called down to him. He whinnied and I smiled; there was a painful thought creeping into my brain. Ace wouldn't be coming with me...with us. I quickly tried to push it away but it was too late, it was now a nagging realization stuck at to the back of my brain.
Annoying as hell.
I bit onto my apple and loaded my arms up with tack and grooming supplies. Spotting my hat in the process I went ahead and stuck that on my head before I forgot about it. The weight of the tack and the awkwardness of holding it all made me waddle instead of walk. So I waddled my way down to Ace's stall, trying not to let anything drag or fall while juices from the apple started dribbling down my chin...and boy did it tickle.
It was a relief to finally reach the stall and unload my arms. Once everything was set down I spat the apple into my hand and wiped away the slobber.
Ace pawed in his stall, kicking the door in the process, his eyes on the prize...the prize being my apple.
"This happens to be my breakfast," I informed him. Still he pawed, not caring. "What?" I asked sarcastically holding the apple up. "You think you just automatically assume ownership to all food in your sight?"
He snorted and kicked the door again. Apparently he did...
"Oh, fine!" I rolled my eyes. "Here you go princess," I fed him the apple which he gobbled up in one bite. "Don't choke," I muttered sarcastically grabbing some brushes and heading into his stall.
x-x-x-x
"In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey
Butane in my veins and I'm out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray paint the vegetables
Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose!"
I sang one of the most ridiculous (yet awesome) songs of the 90's. Ace snorted under me and tossed his head—I don't think he was too fond of my singing.
Sheesh, they weren't kidding when they say everybody's a critic.
"Fine, have it your way...I'll be quiet," I sniffed haughtily.
Of course that lasted about five minutes—if that.
"I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down and the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire
The ring of fire."
I started singing again but Ace kept his criticism to himself this time. Or maybe he just liked the song...
That's the way my ride went pretty much. Me singing, Ace would get prissy if he didn't like it, he was quiet if he did. It was the best game ever.
By the time I reached Jen's I was singing (or attempting) some hip-hop.
"Watch out!" I started making Ace spook a little. I dismounted, still singing/rapping.
"My outfit's ridiculous, in the club lookin' so conspicuous.
And Rowl! These men all on the prowl, if you hold the head steady I'm a milk the cow."
I turned and found a smirking Ryan.
"Oh, hey," I said, slightly embarrassed.
"Nice song," he smiled, clearly amused. "A little old school if you'd ask me though."
I shrugged. "Yeah can never get old," I pointed out.
"Go ahead and finish...," he leaned against the hitching post. "Don't mind me."
"Um, no that's okay...I'm pretty sure that's all I remember," I lied. I knew that whole song by heart.
"You sure? I have a karaoke machine," he offered still smiling.
"Actually, I'm here to see Jen...thanks though," I tried to smile back but I'm sure it looked more like a grimace.
He pushed himself off of the railing. "Oh, she left."
My shoulders sagged as I turned to face him again. "Huh?"
"She tried to call you but she said you would probably show up here anyway...so she wanted me to wait and let you know she won't be back till late," he informed me.
Damn. Maybe I should have tried calling. Or...maybe she could have left a message with Gram!
"Did you just growl?" He asked amused once again.
I coughed, forgetting that I sometimes growled when aggravated. "Something in my throat."
I stood there in awkward silence, not sure if I should leave or what. I considered breaking into Jen's house and getting something to drink before I left...I've done it a few times. That window to the living room never quite locked all the way.
But another idea came into my head.
"Hey Ryan," I called. He had started walking back up to his house. "Can I get your help with something?"
There were many things in life I never imagined myself doing-and one of them was asking a Slocum for help. Go figure.
He looked surprised but shrugged. "Let's take him to the barn and head in side. It's too bloody hot out here."
We walked to the barn and Ryan had a barn hand take care of Ace for me. I scratched his head before following Ryan up to the house.
"Rachel's not here," he informed me without my asking. He must have sensed my hesitation and figured that was it. The boy was smart...I'll give him props for that.
We reached the door and he opened it ushering me inside. "Neither is my dad."
Creepy? Just a little. But I was sure if anything were to happen I could totally kick Ryan's pompous British arse. The only thing I had to worry about was Jen being pissed when she hears I was alone with Ryan. Now that was going to be scary.
I shucked my boots, leaving them by the door and followed Ryan into the kitchen.
"A refreshment?" He asked and I had to fight the urge to laugh. Really? Who asks if somebody wants a refreshment?
"Uh, please," I dug deep for what little manners I had and pulled them out.
"Lemonade okay?" He asked pulling out a pitcher of piss colored water.
"Perfect," I said not really caring.
"Helen makes some of the best," he said pouring me a glass and handing it to me. I almost asked who Helen was but then I remembered—Helen Coley—she worked as their house maid.
Poor woman.
Besides...the best? Doubtful. This kid has never had Gram's lemonade obviously.
Ryan leaned against the counter opposite of me. "So what can I do for you?" He asked.
I fidgeted. Asking Ryan for a favor was harder than I thought...and definitely more awkward.
I swirled my lemonade in my cup and took a breath. "Okay, this may sound weird...no it definitely will sound weird."
"That's okay," Ryan shrugged. "I've been getting used to weird."
Not that I cared.
"Remember when you said you would help...when it came to your sister. You said she could uh, be...?" I searched for the word he had used but drew a blank.
"Humbled?" He nodded and I took that as a sign to continue.
"Well I kind of have an idea. But I'll have you know there is no physical harm involved," as much as I would have liked that. "And no destruction of property," well...at least not on purpose of course. "Just a little...humiliation."
He smiled. "How can I help?"
Oh so evil. It made me appreciate him...just a little.
"Well is there anything that Rachel is absolutely terrified of? A secret fear that she wouldn't admit to?" I asked hoping that there was.
Ryan thought about it for a minute before snapping his fingers.
"Two things actually," he grinned. "Clowns...cliché, yes. But she is terrified of them."
"And?" I pushed for the second thing. Who would have thought Rachel would be into cliché's.
He was holding back laughter and I knew it would be good, so I leaned forward excitedly.
"Teletubbies," he started laughing then and so did I.
It was golden. It was amazing. It made my revenge plan so much more fun.
"Teletubbies?" I asked still giggling. Personally, I was more of a Sesame Street fan...but still, Teletubbies never seemed like a scary thing.
"Okay...another favor?" I asked, feeling a bit bad about asking him. "I'm gunna need a Teletubbies costume, a clown costume, and the Teletubbies theme song. Do you know where I can get these?"
He leaned back taking a swig of his lemonade. "Leave that to me."
"Really?" I asked surprised.
"Sure," he shrugged. "When do you need them?"
I thought about that. As soon as possible would be best. But would it even be possible for him to get all of that at all?
"As soon as you can would be great," I said still shocked by how helpful he was being and how excited he seemed. Maybe I wasn't the only one Rachel annoyed.
"Leave it to me," he assured, not seeming to worry about it.
I smiled excited that something was actually working out for me.
It was going to be epic.
LONG REVIEWS FOR A LONG CHAPTER :D pwetty pwease :)