A/N: Thanks for the reviews and putting this story on your alerts and favourites. You guys are awesome. But…a lot of people read and don't review so please review! I would really love to know your thoughts on this story and my writing. I'd hate to be writing crap and no one tell me about it. On the other hand, if you do like what I write, I wanna know that too!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Chapter 3
Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu, Tobi and Zetsu were gathered in the Akatsuki living room, finalising the plans for Pein's bachelor party. "I don't get why we're going all out for this jerk," Hidan said suddenly. Everyone looked up at him in confusion.
"I was just thinking - "
"Well that's unusual," said Kakuzu.
"Shut up Kakuzu! As I was saying, Konan's fucking hot right?"
Deidara and Kisame nodded in agreement, Itachi and Sasori remained impassive while Kakuzu was watching Tobi annoy Zetsu in the corner. "Zetsu-san! Tobi will give you a hug!"
"So hot she literally makes you wanna fu - "
"Hidan, please don't say it..."Itachi said quietly.
"What's wrong Uchiha? You shy?" Hidan asked with a sneer.
Itachi glared at him but didn't say anything. "What are you trying to get at Hidan, get to the point," said Sasori.
"I'm saying, why should we let that no-balls leader get to marry her?"
"How does Hidan-san know leader-sama has no balls?" Tobi wondered out loud.
Hidan made a move to strangle Tobi but Zetsu held him off. "What the fuck Zetsu?"
Zetsu simply stared at Hidan until he retreated, muttering curse words under his breath. "Leader is...well he's our leader, and we should respect him. He is the reason we have food, and clothes and a place to live. We should honour him with this bachelor party, for he has found his true love and we should not be jealous. I'm sure he would do the same for one of us," Kisame said. Everyone stared at him. "Kisame, are you guilty of something, un?" Deidara asked. "N-no, why would you think that?" Kisame said in alarm.
"Because of that gay-ass speech you just made. It's too good to be true to what you're really thinking..."Hidan told the blue man. "Nonsense, I am completely, one-hundred-and-ten-percent happy for both Pein-sama and Konan-sama. But I do hope that I will one day find my own happiness," Kisame said softly. Hidan threw an arm around Kisame, "Aw you freak, you want love? I'm sure Uchiha here is dying to give it to you."
Itachi sent a murderous glare Hidan's way but was slightly discomforted seeing the blush that was on Kisame's face. "Let's hurry up and finalise the plan for the party, I haven't got all day," Sasori said, clearing his throat. "So we're going away for the weekend to Tanzaku Town, un. But what about Konan? Shouldn't she be having a bridal shower or something?" Deidara asked. The other members looked thoughtful, obviously Konan deserved a little bachelorette party but there were only guys in the organization, so it was going to be a little difficult. "Tobi will throw Konan-chan a bridal shower!"
"Uh...no you won't, un!"
"Perhaps we could ask Konoha?" Itachi suggested.
"Are you kidding me?" Kakuzu asked incredulously.
"No. I am not. Leader has already invited them to the wedding. How much more could it hurt if we asked a couple of the kunoichi to host a bridal shower?"
"Itachi-san is right," Kisame added.
"Well they better not charge us," Kakuzu said.
"Okay, Konoha it is!" said Deidara.
!
Tsunade had no idea what to think of the Akatsuki's current antics, it was puzzling to say the least. This very morning, an ordinary messenger bird had arrived with a message from the group of criminals, this time it was to ask if the kunoichi of Konoha could throw the bride a bridal shower. "Tsunade-sama, what are you going to do?" Sakura Haruno asked.
"I honestly don't know," Tsunade replied, "This is all very weird."
"It sure is," Ino Yamanaka said. Most of Konoha's kunoichi were standing in the Hokage's office to be briefed on how they would handle the Akatsuki's strange request. "We could always just ignore them...yet it is tempting to know what they're up to at the same time," Anko Mitarashi said. Tsunade banged her fist down onto the desk suddenly, causing Hinata Hyuuga to jump backwards. "I have decided that we will go through with it."
"Tsunade-sama, are you sure about this?" Shizune asked sceptically.
"Yes, why not? If they're planning anything, we're all capable kunoichi here, are we not?"
"We are!" came the chorus of the kunoichi.
"Okay ladies, then we've got a hot and sexy bridal shower to plan here!" Tsunade said.
"Hot and sexy?" Kurenai Yuhi asked, amused.
Shizune checked Tsunade's sake stash drawer, sure enough, it was empty.
!
Sasori had been given the task of 'kidnapping' Konan and sending her off to Konoha for her bridal shower. She could have a ready-made bridal shower right here in Amegakure...the way it rains here all the time, Sasori thought in annoyance as he stood outside in the rain. The rain would have made his beautiful wooden body rot and stink but luckily he had varnished. What's taking her so long? Sasori thought, he hated waiting for anyone. Hidan was supposed to have told her to walk by this spot so that Sasori could kidnap her but so far there was no sign of her. Why they were actually going to such lengths to stage an elaborate kidnapping, Sasori didn't know, but he went along with it. Now of course, he regretted it as his clothes were getting soaked. Sasori thought back to why that had chosen him for this particular endeavour...
Flashback...
"Sasori, you can kidnap Konan and take her to Konoha," Itachi said in his deadpan voice.
"Why me?"
"Danna, you're the only one her paper cuts won't affect...since you're made out of wood and besides, paper comes from wood," Deidara said.
"Can't argue with that logic," Kisame had said.
Sasori sighed, and then he heard footsteps approaching. "Where is the huge order of paper? What was that imbecile Hidan talking about?" he heard Konan's voice, she was looking for the non-existent paper that Hidan told her was being delivered to her. When Konan got near enough, Sasori pounced on her. He was hidden under a black cloak which was all drenched and sticking to him thanks to the rain. Konan didn't scream like some banshee, she was a powerful kunoichi, she immediately launched an attack on her captor. Sasori was prepared for this, so he brought out his secret weapon – a poison that caused the victim to instantly slip out of consciousness, and held it up to her face. Within a few seconds, she stopped struggling and lay limp in his arms. Sasori carried her to the carriage that was already waiting, Deidara was going to be the driver.
"Oi Danna, wanna drive?" Deidara asked, clearly because he didn't want to be the one out in the rain while Sasori and Konan would be warm in the carriage. "I decline," Sasori said. Deidara groaned while Sasori climbed in with Konan in his arms. He set her down carefully and then sat down on the seat opposite her. The carriage lurched forward and Sasori was almost thrown on top of her. "Drive properly brat!" Sasori called. He sat back down in his seat and surveyed the unconscious woman before him. She was also soaked from the rain and her wet clothes clung to her attractive figure. Not an ounce of fat, Sasori mused. Her blue hair provided a startling contrast to her pale skin and while she slept, her face looked peaceful and relaxed and her perfect lips looked inviting for ones fingers to trace and perhaps kiss. If Sasori had been human, he would have grown hot and blushed, but he did still have a heart and it started to beat faster...remembering. Sasori remembered the topic that Hidan brought up. It was selfish of him to even think about that or even consider it, but did Leader deserve her? Long ago, Sasori had once wanted her to be one of his everlasting works of art...to turn her into a puppet like himself just so that he could preserve her beauty forever. She was an artist just like himself with her unique works of origami. Of course he had forgotten those feelings when the Leader claimed her as his own, but Sasori couldn't help remembering them again. He could just run away with her now and leave Akatsuki, but he knew how upset Konan would be at not being able to marry her childhood friend. And she also may not like the idea of being turned into a semi-immortal puppet. As they journeyed to Konoha, Sasori still entertained the forbidden thoughts.
!
"Wh-what am I doing here?" Konan stammered, looking around at the faces of various woman. Then she looked down at herself, she was dressed in a short, black dress that was pouffy at the bottom and only reached mid-thigh. The top half of the dress was strapless, it was plain but undeniably sexy. I wish Pein could see me in this, Konan thought slyly. "We thought we'd get you out of those hideous wet clothes and into something more befitting the occasion," announced a beautiful blonde woman with large breasts. "Oh? What occasion?" Konan asked, intrigued. "Your bridal shower!" exclaimed a pink-haired girl.
"My bridal shower? How did I even get here?"
"Two cloaked guys brought you in a carriage and dumped you here," said a woman with purplish hair that was tied in a high ponytail. Konan tried to remember what happened before she blacked out, she remembered Hidan telling her that an order of paper had been delivered outside a factory close to their hideout in Amegakure. She went there and there was no paper but someone had attacked her! Aaaah! Those guys! They planned all that to lure me to my bridal shower, how sweet! Konan thought. "Hmm, okay! So who are all of you, except you," she said, gesturing to Tsunade, "I know you, you were sensei's teammate and you're Konoha's Hokage, which means I must be in Konoha."
"Well done," Tsunade said drily.
"I'm Anko," the purple haired woman said.
"Sakura!" said the pink-haired one cheerily.
"I'm Ino, nice to meet you," said a pretty blonde girl. Konan tried to remember all their names as they introduced themselves. "Kurenai," said a beautiful woman with long dark hair and red eyes. A cute girl with hair styled into buns shook her hand in a firm grip, "I'm Tenten." Next up was a shy-looking pretty girl with long, dark, midnight-blue hair, "My name is H-Hinata." The last woman in the room introduced herself as Shizune. Konan smiled happily, it certainly was a relief to find herself in the company of females, even though she hardly knew them. "Let's get this party started ladies'!" Tsunade declared, holding up her sake bottle.
!
"What is the meaning of this?" Pein asked, "I thought we were going to pick the wedding cake," Pein grumbled as he found himself in what looked like an inn in Tanzaku Town.
"Just let that pervert Jiraiya handle all of that – he is the wedding planner after all, that's what we're paying him for," said Kakuzu, eager to gamble Hidan's money and make more money for himself. "It is already Friday, the wedding is on Sunday, will everything be ready in time?" Pein asked.
Whoa, forget bridezilla, we got groomzilla over here, thought Deidara.
"Yes, it will, Leader-sama, now relax and enjoy your bachelor party, un!"
"My...bachelor party?" Pein asked, his glare softening into a smile.
"Yeah, you think we wouldn't give you a fucking bachelor party? A guy's gotta let loose before he's tied down," Hidan told him with a wink.
"Oh? And was that rant about earlier, when you didn't want him to have one?" Kakuzu whispered with a sneer. "Shut the fuck up, 'Kuzu," Hidan said, as they entered the inn.
"Now we can get drunk and play with strippers!" Deidara declared.
"Aren't you too young for that?" Sasori asked.
"Hey, if I'm old enough to be an assassin, I'm old enough to drink, un!"
"Tch. I don't drink," Itachi said.
"I drink like a fish!" said Kisame.
"You are a fish!...partly," said Deidara.
"I don't drink. I love sake." Zetsu said.
"Tobi is a good boy! Tobi will not drink!"
"Fuck that and let's go party!" Hidan said.
Pein grinned, he had the best group of friends/teammates/assassins ever...or so he thought.
A/N: So…hope that was a fun read. I tried to make this funny but Sasori's point of view ended up being kind of dark… I know it seems way way farfectched that Konoha would just throw a bridal shower for an Akatsuki, but just go with it hey :D Don't forget to review because your reviews inspire me to write faster! Thanks!
I've uploaded Chapter 9 of my other story Konoha's bash today, so check that out if you like and I've also written a new two-shot based on how soccer would be played in the narutoverse called Konoha 12 v. The Akatsuki so please read that and tell me what you think!