Chapter Four
Upon entering their reserved room at the inn, Pein was treated to a lavishly decorated display of food and drink. His eyes were all shiny and he looked like he was about to cry, but that immediately vanished when he read the banner displayed above. "Um, who was in charge of making the banner?"
"Tobi was! Does Leader-sama like it?"
Pein clenched his fists, "You misspelt my name."
Yes, to Pein's dismay, the banner read "Welcome to Peni's Bachelor Party!"
Hidan was on the floor from laughing, he would have died of laughter but he was immortal. "P-P-Penis! Tobi, you're a genius!"
"That sort of rhymed," Kisame muttered to Itachi. Itachi of course, did not reply to that, he was busy munching on some dango. Deidara was red in the face, Sasori was sitting with an impatient look on his face, Kakuzu was grumbling about wasted money, Tobi was sniffing stuff and Zetsu was eyeing Tobi.
Just then, the hotel room door burst open and in walked six women dressed like ANBU members with masks on and they rolled in a huge cake. Pein looked at them suspiciously while Hidan, Deidara, Kisame and Kakuzu were smirking, Tobi was helping himself to some snacks, Zetsu ate a fly out of the air and Sasori and Itachi did not have a noteworthy expression.
"Leader-sama…" the women cooed, surrounding Pein.
"What is this?" Pein asked, inching away from the women.
"Just go with it, yeah, it's your first surprise of tonight," Deidara said.
Suddenly the cake literally burst open and out popped another woman in the most sassiest outfit Pein had ever seen; she wore tiny set of bright pink panties and a corset with sheer stockings. Her hair flowed down her shoulders in waves and her makeup was applied thickly, but Pein was no fool, he could see the big bulge in the woman's panties and it gave him the creeps. Her features were also very masculine.
"What the fuck?" Hidan said, voicing Pein's thoughts out loud.
"You're no woman!" Kisame said in shock.
"Who cares?" the stripper asked in a manly voice.
"I do!" Deidara said.
"Kakuzu…" Hidan snarled.
"They were the cheapest strippers I could find," Kakuzu said nonchalantly.
"So you go and fucking hire transvestite strippers! You cheap bastard!"
The other 'women' all had their masks off and they also appeared to be quite manly but their bra's were stuffed with padding. "They're not that bad…" Kisame said.
Everyone turned to him with an incredulous look. "What? I'm just saying!"
"Right…" Sasori said.
"We're not leaving until we provide you with your entertainment," the lead stripper said, folding his arms across his fake chest.
"That won't be necessary… you can go entertain elsewhere…" Pein told them.
The strippers all lined up and pushed every one of the Akatsuki members onto the couches.
"Senpai! What is happening?" Tobi asked as one of the strippers jumped on his lap. Itachi had his sharingan activated, no transvestite strippers were going to be coming anywhere near him, not if he could help it. "You have paid for this and we will deliver our service," the lead stripper said in a menacing voice, striding over to Pein.
-X-
The Konoha kunoichi and Konan were sitting at a small bar and the air was festive because of the freely flowing alcohol courtesy of the Hokage. Konan was pleased that no less than ten men had already hit on her but she waved them off by flashing her engagement ring at them. "I can't wait to get married..." Shizune said.
"Do you have anyone special in your life?" Konan asked, taking a sip of her fancy cocktail.
"No," Shizune said, and downed her drink, "I hardly even have time to date," she added, casting Tsunade a look. Tsunade didn't notice because she was ordering more sake. Ino, Sakura, Hinata and Tenten were having virgin cocktails since they weren't old enough to consume alcohol yet. Kurenai was having a pina colada and Anko was having sake.
"You know what? I think we need to find you a man," Anko said to Shizune, winking.
"That's a great idea! Is there anybody you have your eye on?" Konan asked.
"Well..." Shizune said, a bit red in the face, "Genma is pretty good looking..."
"Pretty damn good looking!" Anko said, raising her glass, "Isn't that right girls?"
Ino, Sakura, Hinata and Tenten looked at each other then nodded slowly; they found it unfair that they had to sit around sipping kiddie drinks while their superiors were getting wasted.
"Wait a minute, are you interested in him, Anko?" Shizune asked.
"What? No, Kakashi's the only man for me!"
Sakura choked on her drink.
"So where is this Genma, let's get the plan in motion so that by the end of the night Shizune can get laid," Konan said with a smirk. Shizune looked horrified and excited at the same time, "Um, just a date would be nice."
"Relax, I'm sure Konan was just joking, and I think I know where Genma is right now," said Kurenai. Even Tsunade wore a smirk on her beautiful face and Konan leaned back in her chair, smiling. She enjoyed the buzz that the alcohol gave her and it had been such a long time since she felt so free without inhibitions...such a long time.
"So lead the way sister!" Anko said, and they all left the bar with Kurenai leading the way and Shizune looking nervous. "I think she could do with more sake," Tsunade whispered to Konan. "I'm on it," Konan said, passing Tsunade's flask to Shizune. Shizune looked at her quizzically. "It will take the edge of," Konan reassured her. Shizune gladly took the flask and drank from it and by the time they reached the other bar where most of the male shinobi frequented, Shizune was giggling like a schoolgirl. "There he is, playing pool with Aoba," Kurenai whispered.
"Right, what are you going to do?" Tsunade asked curiously.
"I'm going to go over there and...and...give him the kiss of his life!" Shizune said boldly.
Konan, Anko, Ino and Tenten cheered as Shizune walked up to Genma.
"Shizune-san, how are y - " he didn't get to finish his sentence because Shizune's lips were already on his. "Twenty bucks she gets him on top of that pool table," Anko said.
Tsunade laughed, "She hasn't had nearly enough sake for that to happen yet."
The younger kunoichi of the group were looking very uncomfortable and Hinata was fiercely blushing at the scene before her. The male Jounin were cheering and catcalling until Anko threw a well aimed kunai at one of the more perverted ones. Shizune and Genma eventually pulled away, both red-faced and out of breath. "Uh...so dinner tomorrow at 7?" Genma asked.
"I'd love that," Shizune said, grinning.
"Awesome," Genma replied, looking very happy.
"That was great!" Konan congratulated Shizune after they exited the bar. It had been a while
since Konan had done anything this outrageous. Being in the Akatsuki kind of sucked the fun
out of life and the one time they all did party together was a long time ago and she didn't really want to remember the events of that night. "Something wrong?" Kurenai asked her. Konan shook her head and smiled weakly. I'm getting married, I shouldn't be thinking about that.
-X-
Pein's hair was all dishevelled as they left their room at the inn and he wore a slightly shocked expression. Deidara, Hidan, Sasori and Itachi wore similar looks, Kakuzu just looked like his usual pissed off self, Tobi was quivering and Zetsu was looking at him with concern but Kisame looked strangely happy.
"Well fuck," Hidan said.
"Just be glad that didn't happen," Sasori pointed out.
"Eew danna," Deidara said, his stomach was queasy after that transvestite stripper gave him the lap dance from hell.
"Kakuzu, you damn bastard, I'm going to make you eat shit and then I'm going to kill you," Hidan said.
"Try it," Kakuzu said, not looking bothered by the threat at all.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I need a drink...or ten," Itachi said solemnly. He was lucky for the fact that his eyesight was bad so he couldn't really see those eyesore strippers but that didn't mean he couldn't feel them, the thought of it made him nauseous.
"Itachi, you know that you can't hold your alcohol," Pein told him.
"True, but neither can Hidan," Itachi said, he was kind of ashamed that he had such a low alcohol tolerance.
"Hah! At least I don't end up getting lost and then found fucking face down in the woods!," Hidan said, reminiscing the night of his welcoming party. He had thrown it for himself when he joined the Akatsuki and managed to get all the other members to join in – even the more stuck up ones like Itachi, Pein and Kakuzu. Of all the members, one that caught his eye was Konan, and not because she was female, but because she was hot and off limits to him which made him want her even more. Hidan smirked at the memory of that night.
"What happened to you that night anyway?" Kisame asked Itachi who shrugged, "I honestly cannot remember."
"You think you'll be okay if you drink tonight?" Kisame asked.
"Yes. I won't be defeated by the same thing twice," Itachi said seriously.
Deidara burst out laughing, "Alcohol isn't an opponent, un!"
Itachi glared at him.
"Tobi still feels violated," Tobi said in a small voice.
"Sorry Tobi, I would eat those strippers but I think they would taste disgusting," said Zetsu, "Let's get sake instead," said Dark Zetsu.
"Great plan," Deidara said.
"You aren't old enough to drink," Sasori told him.
"I still maintain what I said earlier, if I'm old enough to kill, I'm old enough to drink, un."
"Come on Leader-sama, let's get you completely wasted," Hidan said, throwing his arm around Pein and looking a little too cheery.
A/N: Really sorry for such a late update. I almost lost hope in this story, and I'm sure many of you did too. But my inspiration is back, let's hope it lasts.
Any more guesses on who was Konan's mystery lover?
Please review!