Disclaimer: I do Not Own Naruto
WARNING: Kunoichi behaving badly!
Chapter Five
The ladies were back at the sake palace and Shizune was floating on cloud nine after her daring escapade. "That was fun, now it has to be someone else's turn to do something," Anko said with a mischievous look in her eyes. The younger kunoichi, namely Sakura, Ino, Hinata and Tenten, looked rather worried. "What do you have in mind?" Konan asked.
"Hmm...let's play," Anko paused and looked devious, "...I never."
"How does that work?" Konan asked.
All the other kunoichi looked at her, dumbfounded. "You've never played 'I never'?" Kurenai asked.
"I've never played I never," Konan said, with a short laugh.
"Wow, old as I am, even I've played it," Tsunade said.
"Well, I live in a base with guys and before that I also hung around with guys so that is probably why," Konan explained, and she wondered what those guys were currently up to.
"I know you guys are a criminal organisation, but don't they ever party?" asked Shizune.
"No, it's all serious business," said Konan, "Although...there was that one time when Hidan joined, the guy threw himself a welcoming party and roped us all into it."
Now that she was drunk once again, Konan began to remember that night all too well...Hidan was brash, loud and annoying but he also had a devilish charm and by the end of that night they had all been drunk out of their minds. But you still had enough sense left to know what you did...said an irritating voice in the back of Konan's mind. She shook her head, "Okay, let's play, explain that game to me."
"Basically, someone has to say something, for example, 'I never ate ice cream', then everybody who has ate ice cream has to drink a shot,"Anko explained.
"Cool, sounds easy enough," Konan said with a grin.
"Um...K-Kurenai-sensei, do we have to play too?" Hinata asked.
"Sure you have to, come on girls, you're only young once!"
Ino smirked, "I've always wanted to try sake."
Tsunade called the bartender over to request shot glasses and more sake. The bartender poured out the sake in the glasses and placed it in front of them. Tenten gulped and Sakura looked nervous. "Sakura, you can go first," Tsunade said to her apprentice.
"Alright...um... I never...thought Sasuke-kun was hot," Sakura said, and then she downed her shot and started coughing violently. Tenten, Ino, Kurenai, Anko and Shizune also drank theirs. Tsunade refilled their glasses, "Next up, Ino."
Ino looked slyly at Sakura, "I never...had a crush on Naruto."
Hinata looked at her glass apprehensively and slowly lifted it up and emptied the contents into her mouth. Sakura hesitated for a few seconds but then drank again. By this time her head was already spinning.
"Oh this is so juvenile," Anko complained, "My turn. I never...used a kunai for kinky purposes," and she drank proudly. Kurenai, Konan and Tenten also drank theirs. Everyone stared at Tenten. "What?" she asked innocently, setting her glass down.
"For that, you can go next," Anko told her.
"Okay. I never...flashed anyone," Tenten said, and she drank once again. This time, only Anko drank with her.
"Wow...Tenten..." Sakura said.
"Hinata's next!" Shizune declared.
The shy girl lowered her head and said something that they couldn't hear.
"Louder please!" Anko said.
"Um...I n-never...see a n-naked guy."
Tsunade, Anko, Kurenai, Konan, Shizune, Tenten and Ino drank this time. Sakura and Hinata looked at each other with shock in their eyes. It was Shizune's turn next and she took her time to think of something, so long that Anko began to feel sober again.
"I never...kiss a guy!" Shizune stated, somewhat lamely and proceeded to drink. Again, Sakura and Hinata were the only ones that didn't drink. Finally it was Tsunade's turn.
"I never...become Hokage!" And she was the only one to have a drink that round.
-X-
Meanwhile, the gentlemen of the Akatsuki were having an argument over what to next. "I thought we agreed to go to the bar and get wasted!" Hidan exclaimed.
"But I'm hungry and I can't drink on an empty stomach, un," Deidara whined.
"Who cares about your weak-ass stomach!" Hidan said angrily.
"Decide fast...this is getting annoying," Sasori told them.
"Deidara's right, we should eat first," Pein told his comrades.
"Hah! In your face, un!"
"Oh fuck you man."
They walked back to their room at the inn where all the food and some drinks were. But when they entered their room, they had an unpleasant surprise. The banner with 'Peni's Bachelor Party' still hung there but everything else was gone. "OH MY GOD! Where's the food?" cried Kisame. He had been looking forward to eating those cocktail sausages and other gourmet treats but they were all gone. The only thing that remained on the table was 9 cups of ramen. Kakuzu cleared his throat, "I asked the caterer to clear all of that away, that fancy food was just for show in the photographs, the ramen is what I've paid for and what we're eating tonight."
All the guys stared at him dumbstruck. "You cheap fuck!" Hidan said, launching himself at Kakuzu.
"Hey! Don't fight, it's okay, we'll eat ramen. I happen to like ramen," Pein said, trying to keep the peace.
"I'll bet Konan-sama is having a better time than us. Those Konoha ninja's definitely won't be as cheap as Kakuzu," Sasori commented. Itachi nodded. And so they ate their lousy dinner of cup ramen and then made their way to the bar. "Tobi doesn't feel so good. That ramen was expired," Tobi said, holding his stomach. They entered the bar which had a smoky atmosphere and looked very dodgy. Hidan immediately rushed over to the counter, "Gimme drinks for all my bro's here, he's getting married!" Hidan pointed to Pein and everyone whooped and cheered and came over to shake his hand. Some congratulated him and some offered their condolences. "Pein my former student, how the hell are you?"
"I'm great, Jiraiya-sensei," Pein said to the tall, grey-haired man who also happened to be at the bar, "Should you really be here Sensei? Aren't you in charge of planning the wedding?"
"Yes, yes! Don't worry about that, it's all under control," Jiraiya assured him. Jiraiya then walked over to Itachi and lead him away from the rest of the Akatsuki.
"Itachi, you're the best man right?" Jiraiya asked with a nervous look in his eyes.
"Yes..."
"I have something important to tell you."
-X-
"What's next?" asked Kurenai when the game of 'I never' ended.
"I've got a great idea," Anko said, "It is time to be daring."
Sakura already began to develop a bad feeling about this.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Tsunade asked.
"Are you thinking male strippers?" asked Anko.
Tsunade nodded, with a glint in her eyes, "Time to cure Sakura and Hinata."
"C-cure us?" Hinata asked.
"Aha, you both haven't seen naked guys before," Konan pointed out.
"We're only sixteen!" Sakura exclaimed.
"So was I Sakura...so was I," Anko said. And that was how Sakura and Hinata were taken against their will, for the first time, to a strip club.
"I didn't even know there was a strip club in Konoha," Tenten said as they walked back to the Hokage's mansion.
"There isn't. We're going to Tanzaku town," Shizune informed her. They were then transported with the Hokage's carriage to Tanzaku town. "We should book in and spend the rest of the night here," Tsunade suggested. Everyone else agreed and they went to a hotel. Tsunade didn't come here to go a strip club, no, her intention was to go on a gambling spree but she made the strip club their first stop after they checked in at the hotel.
"I'm sorry ma'am, but these young ladies over here look underage," the bouncer said looking at Sakura, Ino, Hinata and Tenten.
"Let me handle this," Kurenai said, as she was a master of genjutsu, she whispered something into his ear and his looked out of focus when she was done, "Have a good time ladies!"
The group of lovely kunoichi sat at a table close to the front of the stage and Tsunade was quick to order more drinks. The lights dimmed and the stage was only illuminated, a guy with grey hair came on to the stage and his back faced the crowd. When the music started, he began taking off his shirt in a seductive manner.
"That guy seems familiar..." said Sakura. And indeed when he turned around, they got the shock of their lives. "Oh shit!" Anko yelled. The guy on the stage screeched and put his shirt back on fast when he noticed the kunoichi in the front row. The lights came back on and the music stopped. "What the hell is going on here?" the manager asked, puffing away at his cigar, "People are paying good money for this so get out there and give them a good show!"
"But – but," the stripper stuttered.
"No buts. But I want your butt back up there!"
"Kabuto, you're a stripper?" Shizune asked.
Kabuto was red in the face and looked like he wanted to bolt from there.
"Look, funds are low at the base and Orochimaru sent me to get more money and this...this was the only way to get more money fast!" Kabuto told them.
"I see. But why only send you out to make money when he could send out more people to make work easier?" Tsunade asked, trying to hold back her laughter.
"Oh Sasuke works here on Thursday nights," Kabuto said.
"WHAT?" Sakura and Ino cried.
"Just kidding," Kabuto told them, "That Sasuke is Orochimaru's pet, so that is why I get sent to do all the dirty work."
"You poor thing," Anko cooed, "Now get up there and dance!"
-X-
"What is the matter?" Itachi asked Jiraiya, who looked very anxious.
"I don't think I can tell the groom over there, he will flip out, which is why I am telling you, but don't breathe a word to him!" Jiraiya said.
"...Okay."
Jiraiya leaned in closer to Itachi, "The thing is...well I'm not sure how it happened, but it's terrible..."
"What is it?" Itachi asked, growing worried and impatient.
"The bakery that made the wedding cake – it burnt down, along with the cake!"
Uh oh... thought Itachi.
"How did that happen?" Itachi asked.
"They're saying that something in the cake detonated and that is how everything caught alight," Jiraiya told him.
"Something in the cake...detonated?" Itachi said, then he came to a realization and went over to Deidara and pulled him towards Jiraiya. 'Hey!" Deidara exclaimed.
"Weren't you in charge of making the little bride and groom figures that go on top of the wedding cake?" Itachi asked him.
"Yeah! I did a good job, didn't I?" Deidara said, with a big grin on his face.
"Did you use your exploding clay to make them?"
"Uhm...yeah, I didn't have anything else."
"Heh. Well I'm leaving it up to you too to find a new baker, since it is your fault," Jiraiya said, and he disappeared before they could say anything.
"What happened?" Deidara asked, he was confused.
Itachi glared at him, "The wedding cake blew up and the bakery burnt down."
"Oh shit," said Deidara, "Leader is going to be so pissed, un."
"That is why we're not going to tell him."
"But when he find out - "
"He won't find out because you're going to get a new wedding cake, am I right?" Itachi warned Deidara, sharingan activated.
Deidara panicked, there was only one more day until the wedding, how was he going to find a new bakery and get them to make a cake in time?
A/N: Please review! There is now a poll on my profile page where you can vote who you think was Konan's lover.
You should also check out "The Ninja All Stars Tournament" which I'm collaborating on with Inuyonas.