This is Chapter Three...like I said last chapter, I'm posting the first three all at the same time, so...read and review...Not much else to say...haha
Disclaimer: If I owned Glee, then Brittany, Mike, and Matt would have already gotten a solo song...but they haven't, so...I don't own Glee...
Chapter Three - Anything but Bieber Fever
They had been driving for just two hours and Matt was already contemplating murder, and Mike wasn't much different.
Santana had agreed to sit next to Puck so things wouldn't be awkward if Quinn took that spot (they still weren't on the best of terms since the baby was born), so Quinn and Brittany were in the middle row and Santana and Puck sat way in the back. At that point, Puck and Santana had done nothing but argue about various topics, and Brittany was reading every single billboard and street sign out loud in sheer boredom. A very annoyed Quinn yelled at them to keep it down so she could sleep; consequently, she spent more time yelling than sleeping.
"Mike, I'm going to be completely honest with you."
"What about, Matt?"
"I'm considering swerving off of the side of the road to kill us all and end this nightmare."
"I wouldn't blame you."
"HeadOn! Apply directly to the forehead!"
"Brittany, for the last time, please stop reading the billboards!"
"Sorry, Quinn…"
"Yo Santana, if we start making out right now, nobody up front will know."
"Hey Puck, here's a new invention for you, the rearview mirror. I can see all."
"Puck, you are such a pig!"
"Think outside the bun!"
"Brittany, shut it!"
"You shut it, Santana!"
"Puck, don't be messing with me, I will take you down!"
"Nobody will be taking anybody down!"
"Can't we all just get along?"
"Maybe if you turn up the radio!"
"Fine…there!"
"Eek! I love this song! 'P-p-p-poker face! P-p-poker face!'" Brittany started poking Quinn's face.
"Quit singing along Brittany, you're ruining it!"
"No, she's doing the song a HUGE favor by singing it!"
"Don't be dissing this song, Puck!"
"Actually, Santana, the pig's got a point. Britt, QUIT POKING ME!"
"Thank you, Quinn. Hey…"
"Oh my God, what the hell is wrong with all of you! Do I have to turn this vehicle around!"
"Matt, don't bother, they're just children. They won't be stopping any time soon." Mike groaned, then began to imagine what Mercedes and her crew were up to.
He visualized Mercedes driving happily and Kurt in the passenger seat sipping tea like he's British or something. Finn and Rachel were probably snuggling quietly in the very back of the car, and Tina and Artie were likely playing some card game and sneaking in a cheesy 'I love you' every other turn. What Mike wouldn't give to be in the other car right now…
"Mike, change the damn station already, this song is getting old!" Mike obeyed Santana's harsh commands and pressed the number for the other set station, where Carrie Underwood's Before He Cheats was playing.
Quinn jumped up in excitement. "I love this song!"
"I don't," Santana stated coldly, climbing to the front to change it to another station.
Baby, baby, baby, ooooooh
"NO!" everyone shouted in unison. Santana and Mike immediately reached to change the station, but they both hit the stereo at the same time with too much force, causing it to go silent for a second, and then return to the dreaded song. Mike hurriedly pressed the button to change it, but nothing happened.
"It won't work!" he screamed.
"Then just turn it down!"
"That won't work either!"
"You broke the radio!"
"Oh God, the horror!"
"Hurry up and get rid of it!"
"We're all going to die!"
"Like a good neighbor, StateFarm is there!"
"BRITTANY!"
"Sorry!"
"That's it!" Matt yelled, ripping the stereo out of its place in the center of the car, rolling down the window, and tossing it out onto the storm-soaked road. "Okay, the nightmare is finally over…" Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
Meanwhile, in the car behind them, Mercedes and Kurt were busy watching the minivan ahead of them swerve left and right until finally a black object flew out the window. "What in the name of Jesus is going on up there?" Mercedes wondered.
"I don't know, but it seems entertaining…" Kurt admitted, sipping from his cup of tea.
It was almost noon, and the Gleeks were almost out of Ohio and into Indiana. Ever since the Justin Bieber incident, Matt's car was completely silent. Brittany and Quinn were listening to their iPod, and Puck had fallen asleep on Santana's shoulder. Santana, however, was also asleep and didn't notice. The only sound heard in the car was now the splattering of rain drops on the windshield and the occasional swipe of the windshield wiper.
"This is nice…" Matt said. "Silence at last…"
"But without the radio, the rest of this trip is going to be boring as hell," Mike pointed out.
"Don't blame me, blame Justin Bieber."
"Don't mind if I do."
Matt chuckled.
The car was completely silent again for a moment, but it wasn't as peaceful as before. Matt had been noticing that something was up with Mike ever since when they first left. Being his best friend for ten years, Matt was the only one who could tell his smiles were a charade. He figured it was something Mike wouldn't want to talk about, so he decided a different approach: take his mind off of it.
Okay, Matt, think of anything, he thought, anything that's interesting. Let's see…what have they been talking about in the news? Think…Think…
"So what are your thoughts on gay marriage?" Matt blurted out.
"What?"
Oh, real nice, Matt. Where the hell did that come from?
"It's cool…I guess…doesn't bother me…" Mike was confused.
"That's nice…"
Idle conversation never was Matt's forte…
"Um…you know, this was a really great idea," Matt admitted, awkwardly changing the subject.
"This road trip?"
"Yeah. We're going to have loads of fun and be with the rest of the Glee club. Mr. Schue would probably consider this excellent bonding time. He'd tell us how this could really help our performances and stuff, something about us being united, or something cheesy like that." Mike laughed, and that time Matt could tell that laugh was genuine. His plan seemed to be working.
So for the next hour, the two just talked. They first talked about hysterical moments in Glee that past year, like the Vitamin D fiasco, and how they didn't recognize Puck when he shaved his head, and even the Kiss and Lady Gaga performances. Then somehow that conversation changed to songs they wanted to perform next year in Glee club. Suggestions ranged from Avril Lavigne to Disney Movies to Maroon 5. They even talked about all the love drama in Glee club and how it would affect them all in the future. They ended up predicting where all the Gleeks would be ten years from that moment: Rachel and Finn would be married with exactly six equally-talented children and would be a well-known family on Broadway, Kurt would be a multi-billionaire with four mansions scattered across the country, Mercedes would be the most famous pop/hip-hop singer on the radio, Brittany and Santana would randomly become a lesbian couple and adopt a child from a country of which nobody has ever heard, Puck would be a drug dealer, Quinn would be a radio host, and Tina would be a movie star who would be iconic for her background in a small town and her marriage to her paraplegic high school sweetheart.
"So, where do you think I would be ten years from now?" Matt asked.
"Hmm…I could see you being a professional football player in the NFL," Mike answered.
"Sweet, that's exactly what I'm hoping for!" Matt laughed.
"Where would I be?"
"Well…in your future…I see you winning America's Got Talent, American Idol, and So You Think You Can Dance, thus becoming the most famous entertainer to have ever walked the face of the Earth."
Mike smiled. "Let's not get too carried away now, I doubt that's going to happen."
"Anything is possible."
"Not anything…" Mike sighed.
"But there is one drawback about all these fantasies and what-not…"
"What's that?"
Matt paused and frowned. "…It means we would have to move on. The whole club wouldn't be all together anymore. I'm having the time of my life, and I don't really want this to end, you know?"
"Me neither, but…who says we have to move on? Maybe we'll all still be tight like we are now, and we'll all move into an apartment together like that one show where everyone hooks up and does naughty things but still consider themselves just friends. I like that show, it's funny. But even if we don't, we still have to make the best out of now." Mike looked out the window and up into the silhouette of the sun through the ubiquitous clouds. "Wow, rain really does bring out my emotional side…"
"It's okay; I think I like that side of you…"
Before the meaning of that could register in Mike's mind, the worst possible scenario came true: Santana woke up and realized her position.
"OH MY GOD, PUCK! GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!" she shouted.
"Santana! Unnecessary!" Quinn scolded, pulling the earphones out of her ear. Puck yawned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
"Wha…what happened?"
"Puck, I swear, sometimes you're slower than Britt." Brittany still had her earphones in and was rocking out, so Santana's comment flew right by her.
And so commenced yet another round of arguments.
At long last, the time came to get gas and eat lunch, therefore mixing up the seating arrangement.
Matt let Mike drive while he sits up front and relaxes. In the middle row of the minivan, Kurt and Brittany had somehow ended up next to each other. In the very back, Finn and Rachel were being that cliché lovey-dovey couple that everyone is annoyed at but is secretly jealous.
"Well…this should make things quieter…" Matt said, sitting back in the seat. Mercedes and her crew took the lead this time and drove onto the interstate, the minivan in tow.
"I love you!"
"I love you more!"
"No, I love you more!"
Childish giggling could be heard in the back of the car.
"You have got to be kidding me!" Kurt complained. "They did this in the other car, too!"
Finn and Rachel just ignored him continued snuggling, sipping at the slushie they had bought to share at the gas station, and playfully arguing about how much they cared about each other, even though everyone else knew the answer was simply too much.
Mike started banging his head on the steering wheel. "I…hate…my…life…" he grumbled between bangs.
"You're cute when you drink slushies…"
"You're cuter!"
"No, you are!"
"No, you-" Suddenly, Mike swerved the car to the left and back, catching the couple off guard and causing the slushie to spill all over both Finn and Rachel.
"MIKE!" the two called in frustration. Matt and Kurt were cracking up with laughter.
"Sorry! Uh…I saw a squirrel!" he protested.
"Where!" Brittany questioned in excitement. She then proceeded to look out the window hopefully.
"That was REAL mature, Mike!" Finn complained, wiping the frosty slush off of his shirt.
"You guys will NOT see the end of this!" Rachel threatened. "I would angrily storm out, but I'm above the idea of leaping out of a moving vehicle!"
"I don't see the squirrel! It must have returned to its home planet!" Brittany proclaimed.
"Britt, it's a squirrel, not E.T.!" Kurt explained.
"Who?"
"Never mind…"
"Rachel, where'd you get that towel?" Matt wondered.
"I never travel unprepared," she answered, wiping the beverage off of both her and Finn.
"Mike, I have to pee!" Brittany whined.
"Why didn't you go when we were at the gas station?"
"I didn't have to go then!"
"You can't hold it?" Mike's question was answered as Brittany began to hop up and down impatiently.
"Britt, whatever you do, don't think about water!" Matt said.
"Why would I think about water?" she asked.
"Don't you have to go to the bathroom?"
"Not anymore."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"This is going to be a very long road trip…" Kurt complained.
Okay, so what did you think about THAT one?
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