A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out, guys. Thanks for all of your continued support! Each and every comment you submit is a little life jacket of happiness that buoys me up above the seas of monotony and boredom. And if I drown in there, I obviously won't be able to write any more installments ;)

And believe it or not, my Laura or sorts (European History/Literary ref - congrats if you get it!) is sick yet again. Or at least not feeling well. Maybe I should stop dedicating these to her, and she might get better!

The story so far: Bella has dumped Edward, having broken free of the charm of the hallucinogenic gas wafting off his bracelet. She now likes Layton. Luke still likes Bella. Edward has fled the coffee shop, leaving our noble characters (and Bella) sitting at the table in an awkward love triangle.

Bella looked at the door with a hint of a smile sitting on her usually blank face. "Well, where were we?"

Layton peered over Bella's shoulder. "What an odd gentleman," he mused, adjusting his hat. "It's always hard to adjust to the idea of hallucinogenic gas, but this young man's actions were totally inexcusable."

"I believe you were telling us about why you liked that man," Luke piped in.

"Yeah, I was," agreed Bella. "But some of the details are not ideal for…" she coughed lightly. "…younger listeners."

"Hey!" Luke stood up, indignant.

"Luke, one must always respect a lady's wishes," Layton gently chided. He nodded his head toward the door. "It would be prudent for you to take a walk outside."

Luke glowered contemptuously at Layton, and then turned his gaze to Bella. His rebellious resolve quickly disappeared as he stared into her nondescript eyes, and a flicker of a smile managed to dart across his face before he promptly turned it into a scowl. Determined to keep this new resolve, he stomped out the door.

Across from the coffee shop was a small park, and Luke made his way over to sit down on a bench. Not only was he missing out on the full answer to a puzzle not even his great mentor could solve, he was also losing an excuse to sit next to and look at Bella. The way her pale fingers wrapped around her cardboard cup, the way her flat hair just sort of hung off of her head… these images now rested solely in his mind, and not his eyes. He kicked a rock angrily, sending it speeding off across the dirt into a rather intoxicated squirrel. The squirrel gave a feeble squeak, and proceeded to flee up the nearest tree, before falling off backwards. "The futility of life," Luke sighed. "I hate Bella." No sooner were the words out of his mouth when he wished he could withdraw them.

All of a sudden, a muscular man sat down besides Luke; he had short, glossy black hair and impossibly toned stomach and arms.

"Yo," he greeted Luke, acknowledging him with a jerk of the head. "You having girl problems?"

"Yeah," admitted Luke. "The girl of my dreams has a crush on another man."

"That sucks, yo," the man said. "Story of my life."

"And that other man is my mentor, and is obviously not interested in returning her affection."

"I could dig that, yo. It ain't that bad. You just gotta take what life gives ya."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Well, your girl's gonna get over that dude real fast, if he ain't paying her no attention."

"I suppose that's true."

"And then she'll be out on the market, yo! You can put on some moves and snag her!"

Luke wasn't convinced. He also shuddered, thinking about what dubious 'moves' the man could be referring to. "Are you sure about this?"

"Well, Imma' tell you some'n. Yo, can you keep a secret?"

"Sure, dawg," said Luke, trying to emulate the man's speech. It sounded peculiar mixed with Luke's English accent, but the man didn't say anything.

"Well, I use'ta like this girl once; we were friends. Then she got a boyfriend, some creepy dude. But then she got dumped, and came cryin' back to me. And then I started puttin' on some of those moves I was talkin' 'bout. And she liked me, too, but then that whore turned back to her boyfriend as soon as he got lonely and came back!"

"Wow," said Luke. "What happened next?"

"Well, she kept going out with this dude. Then she married him, and got knocked up pretty bad. And then she gave birth to a half-vampire demon child that I fell madly in love with."

Luke's jaw dropped. "I'm sorry, what was your name?"

"Jacob," the man extended his hand. "Jacob Black."

A/N: Heehee, more use of creative license. In this story, Jacob Black speaks inexplicably like an inner-city kid. Do not ask me why; it simply is. Tune in for the fourth and (maybe) final installment in the Twilight Enigma!

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