Chibi-Kari: You all might hate this chapter, but it needed to happen. And before everyone says I'm wrong and not following the show...watch the pilot. Finn refers to egging Rachel in the past. I don't own, but enjoy this little chapter! And I'm sorry for anyone I made mad with my last author's note! I didn't mean to attack and I'm not mad I promise!

Bittersweet Life

When the fire alarm went off Rachel was almost certain the day couldn't get any worse. Really, she had gotten barely any sleep the night before which was of course something she had been getting used to. Parties were a must in New York to keep your social reputation intact and it was her turn on the party circuit. It was a success that was deserved. She had put in weeks of preparation. Only the best caterers. Best liquor. Best guests. And her little black dress hugged all the right curves and left just enough to the imagination. It had actually ended relatively early, around midnight. That was also good. She had an early rehearsal day today. They just had to replace their Javert for the fourth time. Even Rachel, the perfectionist that she was, thought that the director was being ridiculous. This Javert really wasn't as bad as the second. She shook her head as the alarm blared over head and she started to head out of her dressing room. She couldn't quite understand why the director kept hiring these men before making sure they were right for the part. This was an ongoing show. Secretly she thought it was to try and pressure their current Javert into staying a little longer, but Brian was sure he was going. London's West End was calling him and she would miss him. Him and his red hair and ridiculous red sweaters…one that he decided on wearing last night much to her chagrin.

"Rae, you really do need to walk faster if this is a real fire." Brian came up next to her throwing his arm over her shoulders.

She rolled her eyes lightly before sticking her left hand in his back pocket, "We could always burn together."

He smirked wickedly at her, "Not here. Not now. And not like this."

She rolled her eyes. She was too tired for this banter. They had an on and off again relationship for three years and last night it was on again. When the morning rolled around it was off. They had both known that, though. In two weeks he would leave for London and it had to be off again. Maybe for good, but they would always be there for each other either way. They had history and not the type that kept her away from Ohio. They had met on day one of workshops for Spring Awakening. He played a wonderful Hanschen. Charming and manipulative just like his character...he certainly knew how to work the system. In fact he had been the first boy to charm his way into her pants…three weeks after they met. Back then it wasn't like it was now. They weren't a couple until years later. Years and several men later. But Brian would always have that part of her and he understood her and everything she had been through. He really was her best friend.

He eyed her slightly before squeezing her a little closer, "Still thinking about last night?"

She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She trusted him enough to lead her, "I'm just tired. Today is not a good day. I just want to go home and curl up in bed."

"Ahh. Well I guess I'm to blame for that aren't I? The director seems to think so."

She felt his voice rumble through her body. "He's just going to miss you. I'm going to miss you."

He stopped them and untangled himself from her before placing both of his hands on her shoulders forcing her to stand up herself and open her eyes, "You know I'm only a skype or phone call away."

She tried to put on her brightest smile, "Yeah. I know. It's just that you've been my rock for so many years now-"

"And it's time to be your own rock. Better yet, it's time to put everything behind you." He gripped her shoulders a little tighter and swallowed thickly, "You should have talked to her last night. At least given her something to walk away with."

"Brian-"

"Don't Rae. I know you." He shook her slightly. "You need to let go of all of this and move on. You know the saying forgive and forget."

Rachel tried to shake her head and protest, but he just pulled away and jogged to catch up with the rest of the cast. And that was exactly why they were not really together. He let her make her mistakes and he did it by walking away, but one thing was certain. He was always there. Always there to pick up the pieces.

She was one of the last people to walk through the doors out into the New York heat. This summer really was unbearable. The heat was oppressive and she couldn't help, but miss the cool of winter. She was about to make her way over to the rest of the cast when Rachel realized that yes, the day could get worse.

The entire cast was whispering and seemed to be glancing off to her left, but it wasn't until Brian looked at her in a way that alarmed her. She knew someone she didn't want to see was standing right over her shoulder. She closed her eyes slightly before turning. Rachel Berry wasn't afraid of anything, but God help her if Shelby was standing there asking where her daughter was.

She saw him first and everything seemed to click into place. Beth's Uncle Jesse wasn't a young John Stamos…as she couldn't stop herself from imaging. She couldn't stop the image from Full House from invading her mind when she had heard Beth talking to him on the phone. She wasn't eavesdropping…she was being a good person. And she wanted that little girl out of her house. She had to make sure that she really was calling her uncle and if she had to stand at her bedroom door with an ear to the door looking silly in front of Brian so be it. She just hadn't realized that Uncle Jesse and Jesse St. James were one in the same.

She stood staring at him before another feeling of resentment coursed through her and she took a step forward. Of course Uncle Jesse was Jesse St. James. Shelby had sent him to her. They were close and no matter what he did to her Shelby would still chose him over her. Shelby didn't want Rachel, but she would take Jesse who broke her heart mercilessly. She was always second string or not even allowed to play. Everyone in Ohio treated her that way. That was why they were dead to her. Every single one of them. She was tossed out of the game by Jesse. She wasn't even on Shelby's radar. And Finn couldn't seem to decide if he wanted her or not. The only one who was consistent was Puck and they weren't quite on speaking terms now that he and Quinn had found their way back to each other again.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was firm and from the corner of her eye she saw most of the cast shift away.

"I just want to talk to you." For the first time Beth came to Rachel's attention.

She wasn't sure what to say to any of this. Why did this little girl think it was alright to come into her life? Everything had been going great for the past few years. Her life wasn't perfect, but Brian had taught her how to love how bittersweet life could be. And in a few seconds this little girl ruined everything.

"Do you want me to call security?" Rachel flinched slightly when she felt Brian's hand settle on her shoulder. She hadn't even heard him approach. She just shook her head.

"I doubt there's a fire. Why don't you guys go back inside? I'll follow in a few moments." Rachel glanced over her shoulder and saw the cast looking slightly uncomfortable.

"There isn't. I pulled the alarm." Beth looked impressed with herself and Rachel couldn't help but chuckle a little bit.

"Just like your dad." Jesse hissed slightly as she said that, but she chose to ignore him for the moment.

"You sure you don't want me to stay out here with you?"

She locked eyes with Brian and shook her head slightly. He wanted her to face up to her past. He told her that moments ago and now she would. She would send the little girl packing and get back to her life.

Brian followed the rest of the cast, but paused for a moment looking at the three of them before closing the door behind him.

"Am I really like my dad?" Beth sounded slightly in awe as she took a step forward.

"Beth." Jesse's voice was warning and Rachel saw Beth look admonished. Only slightly of course.

It clicked, "Shelby not honoring the open adoption?"

Jesse's glaze flicked right back to her's, "Rachel, don't. It's not your place."

She nodded slightly, "It's not. I'm not involved in any of this and I don't want to be." She trailed her eyes back to Beth, "Go home. I thought I made that clear last night. Whatever you came here for you aren't going to get. I don't want to be in your life. I don't want you in my life. I don't want you."

"What the hell happened to you?" Jesse snapped as he pulled Beth into his side. This was not the Rachel he loved. This was not the girl that would forgive anything. This wasn't the girl that had optimism that shined through.

"She grew up. And Beth needs to learn that sometimes people just don't want you. Get used to it kid. When you grow up you'll see it all the time. Jobs. Boyfriends. Especially if you want to get into show business. I'm just lucky I learned it early." Rachel just wanted to go back inside. She couldn't be here. Not with him and Shelby's daughter. She just wanted to separate herself from these people. From this situation. She wanted the safety and security of her life. She narrowed her eyes, "You and Shelby taught me that lesson oh so well."

"Shelby was stupid, Rachel. She still is. And I made a mistake. Don't punish Beth for that!" Jesse felt his composure slip. He took a deep breath willing his voice to settle to a better volume, but as soon as the next words left his mouth he knew he should have stuck with shouting instead of saying that "You haven't forgiven me for that stupid choice? You always forgave everyone for everything!"

Rachel felt like she had been slapped. He had the gall to speak to her as if he knew her. Hell, he didn't really know her back then. If he had he would have realized that what he did would be it. The straw that broke the camel's back. "I'll never forgive you for that."

Jesse would have gone forward to touch Rachel if he hadn't had Beth pressed into his side. Beth was the only thing grounding him. The temptation to go to Rachel was the strongest thing he had felt in a long time, but he didn't need the tabloids coming out with some story of assault. Hell, he wouldn't put it past this Rachel to press charges. "Finn did the same thing! He egged you. You told me yourself that before he joined glee club he used to drive around with his friends and they egged you. You forgave him. I egged you. It was stupid, but what is the difference? Tell me what the damn difference is?"

Rachel was too infuriated to even continue this conversation. She couldn't deal with this and Jesse seemed to be past pretenses. She turned on her head and pulled the stage door roughly. She was halfway through before she decided to give him the answer before walking through that door. And she hoped it hurt. "I didn't love him."