Chamomile Part Two:
Souji dipped a long, black ladle into the steaming yellow curry and served each of our plates with a generous portion while Dojima coaxed Nanako into elaborating on her day. The quiet boy made brief eye contact with me as Nanako spoke, and that subtle thankfulness was once again gently channeled to me through his sweet, shy gaze. An expression like that would have once irritated me. This boy didn't know me. He didn't understand my intentions; he didn't understand true and pointless self-indulgence or apathy or even genuine cruelty. His friends were always searching for an answer or something. As though the world needed a reason to be cold. It was infuriating.
Despite this, instead of the usual anger and resentment I would have felt towards him - had once felt towards him - I couldn't bring myself to be disgusted by him now. Dojima's cologne was somehow lulling me into a relaxed state; Nanako's pigtails were shiny and caught the dim glow of the lights as she dipped her head down to catch a falling piece of curry-stained rice from her titled fork; Souji was smiling softly at whatever Dojima was talking about...and I just couldn't bring myself to hate it. I couldn't bring myself to hate any of them as I would have previously for their ignorance.
'I just realized I've never really asked you what your school life was like, Adachi. Nanako and Souji are always telling me things that make it sound so different than how I remember it.'
I jolted a bit at the sound of my name, and fortunately no one seemed to notice. I considered his statement for a moment. School life had been...boring. Full of all the impotent boys and lifeless bitches that reminded me of my parents.
'Oh, it was average, you know? Just public schooling.' I chuckled.
'What subjects did you take? Do you even remember?' He smiled in a friendly, teasing way.
'Hey now! I'm younger than you, if you recall.' I grinned.
'And I do remember what I took in high school. I took sports-med and band along with all the core subjects. What about you Dojima-San?'
'Band? Really? I didn't even know you played an instrument. Oh, and I took phys-ed and history as my optional courses.'
'I play the clarinet - badly - and I'm not surprised to hear you took history. I can kinda picture that for some reason.' Dojima smiled at that.
I had lied. In school, I had taken phys-ed and art. Both courses had instigated situations which led me to periodic suspensions throughout the year.
'How about you two, Nanako? Souji?'
'I like math the best.' Nanako beamed.
Souji shrugged. 'I'm in drama.'
Something regarding his body language when he had spoken suggested to me that going to drama made him tired. I suspected he was having difficulty balancing his school life with his extracurricular activities. Again, the concept did not arouse my anger. Rather, I couldn't help but start to focus on the details in his appearance. Souji had bags under his eyes, and his skin was slightly pallid. His shoulders were hunched, as though he were protecting his core. I began to wonder what his experiences in the TV were really like.