A/N: This chapter has a T rating due to Zoro's mouth. Sanji's probably will as well, just so you know.
::oo::
Zoro's Chore Boy Hell: Day 1
–-
Breakfast was over way too fast, despite a nice little brawl with the ero-cook. Nami said I'm not allowed to take any of my swords with me. I guess it makes sense, since I'm headed into a Marine base, but I still don't feel comfortable without them...
–-
Why the hell did Luffy have to and spend all Nami's money? Now that damn witch stuck me in a damn Marine base, mopping floors! Again! I swear, she knows everything... Now where the hell is this place?
–-
I finally found the base. The witch's directions made no sense! Tch. Whatever. I might as well go and find the guy in charge. Robin said that they really aren't up to date on their bounties, but I think I'm going to wear my bandanna anyways... There aren't a lot of guys out there with green hair. Better safe than sorry, right?
–-
Well, I'm now in the main hallways, mopping floors. This is probably the worst job Nami could have given me! And this stupid uniform is really uncomfortable... I'm just glad that I'm a pirate instead of a Marine.
–-
I just got a look at their training dojo. I have to admit, it's pretty nice. The people are another matter. I could take any of their guys, maybe all at once. There's a guy that just tripped over his own feet. Seriously, how do they expect to capture pirates like that? Their balances are off, and they leave themselves so open.
–-
The Captain of the base saw me looking at the dojo. He wants to know if I want to try fighting against a few recruits. I said no. His exact words after that: "Don't worry, if you want to, I can tell them to go easy on you." What a joke. I said no again. When he asked why, I told him that I didn't want them to be shown up. He laughed. Somehow, I get the feeling that this is going to end badly.
–-
Dammit. I somehow got conned into fighting those recruits. The captain wanted me to take them on one at a time. I said three, minimum. He laughed and picked three for me. I decided to use Ittōryū, since that's my weakest style. Just looking at the stances these guys are using is enough to make me sick. They're terrible. I borrowed a katana from the captain.
–-
They really were terrible. They were down in less than five minutes. The captain is staring at me. He looks shocked. Shit. Now he's grinning. That's what happened before I got conned into the fight...
–-
He wants me to teach them. He wants me to teach them. I said no. But damn, this guy is really persistent...
–-
Finally, I'm out of here. It feels good to be out of that uniform. I bumped into Franky on the way back. He looks pretty pissed off. I guess he's not enjoying his job either. We decided to head back to the ship together. One thing is for sure, that shitty cook had better be ready for a fight tonight, because I sure am.
–-
Sanji didn't disappoint me. Our fight lasted for a good half-hour before Nami forced us to stop.
::oo::
Day 2:
–-
Breakfast went quickly. The ero-cook looks pretty tired. Wonder what's up with him? Not that I care. Luffy doesn't look particularly excited either, though. He's probably just tired. And then there was the witch. She looked all too awake. I sent a glare in her direction. I don't know if she noticed, but I don't want to say anything in front of Luffy. He doesn't like it when we fight. Not counting me and Sanji, of course...
–-
The captain is still trying to get me to train his recruits. I keep telling him no. I'm not going to train people who're going to try and catch me. That'd be just stupid.
–-
THIS GUY WON'T GET OFF MY BACK. Now he's wondering why I wear my bandanna all the time. What do I tell him to that? For now, I'm just going to say because I like it. At least I'll get a bit of peace from him during lunch. Just another hour or so.
–-
Some of the other recruits that I eat with mentioned that the captain is a really, over-the-top nice kind of guy. Of course I get stuck with a guy like that. Apparently, he's the kind that likes to really know his underlings. I'm just lucky that he hasn't asked my name yet. I don't know what I'll use for my name.
–-
I finally get to mop floors in peace. And I never thought that I would even think that sentence. The captain got called away for some sort of meeting for the rest of the day.
–-
The second in command, some guy named Mozer, said I can take the rest of the day off. I decided that this would be a good opportunity to go walk around town. Maybe I'll see if I can find Chopper and Usopp at that carnival...
–-
I found them. They seem pretty happy. Chopper is running a cotton-candy booth, so that doesn't surprise me. Usopp, apparently, has been moved around a few times. Right now he's running one of those bottle games. I tried it for the heck of it. I won. I gave the stuffed animal to Chopper, who instantly launched into his "I'm not happy, assholes" routine.
–-
Shit. I ran into the Marine captain on my way to the ship. He wants to accompany me to my 'house'. I disagreed. I can't have him knowing I'm a pirate! He's insisting. Seriously, I can take care of myself.
–-
Finally got rid of him and back to the ship! Damn man won't leave me alone. Oh, there's Nami, she must have just got out of work. She looks pretty pissed off. That makes two of us. Chopper and Usopp got back slightly after Nami and I did, and Luffy after them. He looks really tired. Shitty cook is still tired also. Definitely can't say that I'm not, though...
::oo::
Day 3:
–-
I haven't given up on glaring at Nami. Franky has started to as well. I guess he doesn't like his job at the Bullseye market. Dammit, breakfast is done. I have to leave now...
–-
Well, that Captain is leaving me alone today. Everyone seems kind of jittery today. People are whispering all over the place. I wonder what's up.
–-
Shit. I'm screwed. Turns out that Smoker is probably visiting tomorrow. I've got two problems, if that's the case... First, even if these backwater Marines don't know me, Smoker sure as hell does. Second, if he's here, that means that she'll be here. I don't want to deal with her...
–-
I spent half the day hiding from the captain. He's really persistent.
–-
I got back early today. I'm just going to sleep.
–-
I was woken up by Luffy. No surprise there. He's bugging me about what my job is. I'm not going to tell him. I was kind of surprised at dinner. Sanji's food wasn't as good as it usually is. I'm not sure what's wrong with him, but it's starting to bug me too. He's not fighting right, so I can't vent my frustration on him. And let me just say that I have a lot of frustration to vent.
–-
ROBIN TOLD HIM. Robin told Luffy that I'm working as a janitor... I'm just going to go to bed before Luffy finds me. This day can't get any worse.
::oo::
Day 4:
–-
Something is seriously wrong with Sanji today. He just let Luffy into the kitchen to get his own breakfast. I would go and talk to him, but I don't think that would help. Besides, it looks like Robin is planning on investigating.
–-
I'm trying to decide if I should incur the witch's wrath and stay on the ship or if I should go to work and risk running into Smoker and that woman. I honestly don't know which is worse. Nami is already eying me. Almost like she knows what I'm thinking. I really don't like that look. I guess that I'll go... Maybe I can find a way to get out before Smoker knows I'm there.
–-
Shit. He's already here. I'm working on covering my hair with a hat, and I left my earrings in a locker. I really don't want them to see me. Last thing we need is our cover blown before we stock up.
–-
I thought for a moment that Tashigi noticed me, but she just asked me to clean a particularly bad spot on the floor. Some of the other chore boys are thinking about going to the zoo. Maybe I'll tag along. I might see Luffy... Not to mention I'll get out of here.
–-
Luffy was feeding the zebras. I don't think he recognized me since I was wearing the Marine uniform. I noticed he didn't look very happy, though. If they're being mean to my captain, though, they'll have to answer to me.
–-
I should technically be getting back to the ship, but Smoker is wandering around town. So, since I'm back in my normal clothes, I'm currently hiding to try and avoid him. Shit! There's Brook! I've got to go tell him to keep out of sight!
–-
Smoker's finally gone. I'm guessing Brook and I missed dinner. Luffy isn't one to wait. If it comes down to it, I can wait until tomorrow for breakfast. If Brook really wants food, though, I can help him, I guess.
–-
Shitty cook is pissed. I thought I was mad. I'm just glad that Luffy went to bed before I got back. I think that the two of us just set a record time for one of our spars. I think that it lasted about three hours. I needed it, though. I think he did too. Bedtime, I guess. The two of us are the last ones above deck.
::oo::
Day 5:
–-
All I can say is that people had better not get in my way today. I think Sanji agrees with me. We got into a shouting match before we left.
–-
That damn captain is on my back again. I'm about ready to punch him.
–-
I gave in to temptation. I challenged him to a fight. I'm hoping that he's tougher than his trainees. We made a deal that when I win, he'll leave me alone. If I lose, he said that I'm going to be working directly for him, whatever that means.
–-
SHIT! I forgot that I can only use one or two swords instead of three, since that's a dead giveaway that I'm Pirate Hunter Zoro... He's actually winning. This guy is pretty tough. That just makes it more interesting.
–-
I don't believe it... I lost... I can't have... DAMN IT!
–-
I now work directly under this guy. Basically, I'm his personal slave for the next two days. I'm supposed to refer to him as "Captain Klive" now... He's yelling for me to fetch him a coffee...
–-
I've had enough of this shit. I'm going to go talk to Nami. After we started arguing, Franky joined me. Soon, Usopp and Brook came too. Even Sanji joined us after a moment. Nami started to look frightened. We didn't care. All of us were pissed off and had enough. Then Luffy came out. He told us to shut up and yell at him if we needed to yell. Some of the crew argued with him, but I knew better. My suspicions were confirmed when Luffy told us that it was all his fault, not Nami's. After a little discussion, we all decided to just go to bed.
::oo::
Day 6:
–-
I am definitely ready to leave. I want to leave and never come back to this hellhole. I said as much at breakfast. They laughed at me, but I could tell that they agreed, besides Luffy.
–-
I'm starting to think that Captain Klive is insane. Whatever it is, I don't get a moment of peace anymore. He's told me that I have to have lunch with him. Plus, I'm now his personal secretary. He says that tomorrow I will fulfill that role to his definition. I don't like the way he said it... I think he has some kind of devil fruit power. I don't know anyone that weird that isn't a devil fruit user.
–-
He tried to tell me about his devil fruit power. I gave up listening after a little bit.
–-
I fell asleep halfway through the day. I ended up having a cup of coffee shoved down my throat by Captain Klive.
–-
Time to go home... There's a reason I don't drink coffee... I know most people drink it to wake up, but it makes me really tired. Plus, I'd never admit it, but it makes me kind of queasy...
–-
I'm hoping dinner will help. Luffy tried to steal my food, as usual. Sorry, I'm not that tired. Ugh, Bedtime. Now.
::oo::
Day 7:
–-
I'm dreading work today. I don't want to know what the hell that damned captain meant by me "fulfilling the role of secretary to his definition." But if I want to get paid, I have to go.
–-
Well, I figured out his devil fruit power... It's called the gyaku gyaku no mi. It's also known as the reverse-reverse fruit. It can reverse anything. Including physical aspects. And apparently, his definition of a secretary isn't a guy.
Yeah.
–-
This is really annoying. My voice is so high-pitched and my body looks like Nami's. Not to mention the damn captain dressed me like freaking Kalifa. I just want this day to end.
–-
He's arguing about changing me back. I just want to be changed back and go back to the ship! He doesn't seem to get it that I was only here for a week. He thinks that I can deal with living here like this.
–-
I don't know how, but I finally talked him into changing me back. He seemed somewhat upset. He told me to come back soon.
I flipped him off.
–-
I was the last one to the ship. When they asked why I took so long, I told them that it was none of their business. I think they thought I got lost, which is ridiculous in the first place. I never get lost. I let them think what they would, though. I don't think I've ever been so eager to leave an island. If Luffy ever suggests coming back, I think I might strangle him.
-Roronoa Zoro
::oo::
A/N:
Okay, don't kill me! I was on DeviantArt and saw a genderswapped Zoro, and I had to do something with it! Plus, I did say that I wanted to write something ridiculous. And Zoro torture is always fun.
Gyaku gyaku idea belongs to Mal-am on dA.
Review corner for chapters 1 & 2:
Bleachfan170:
I'm glad you're enjoying it! And yeah, most of their jobs are absolutely terrible, because I'm a mean person like that. :(
Only a couple more chapters before Sanji's!
JuzSomeone:
Hehehe, as long as you review, I don't care. ;P
Basically, Nami picked out the nine highest paying jobs and gave them out one at a time. Some people just ended up with what was left. Zoro and Franky were among the unlucky. And yes, Zoro ended up with much cursing. xD