Title: Summer Vacation
Author: Zetsubel
Rating: PG-13 ( T )
Month: March 2011
Challenge: Menage-a-Trois
Pairing: OT3 (KakaHinaDei)
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He hated public. He hated the hot weather. Hot weather meant sleeveless shirts and shorts. Public and hot weather meant whispers and stares, and sometimes street brawls brought on by up-start young thugs who ignored the bulging muscles and angry, bloodshot eyes.
A vein in his temple throbbed as another group of giggling, bikini-clad girls strolled by and suddenly hushed. He gave them a narrow glance. They collectively gasped and quickly moved on.
Kakuzu rubbed a hand through his hair and laid down on the towel. He hated the beach. Absolutely loathed it. He should have KNOWN. When Deidara showed up on his doorstep in a wife beater and bright yellow swim trunks, his alarms should have gone off. But his sweet little roommate had asked the blonde to run her to the bank, and upon offering, conned him into going with her. His apartment neighbors were relatively used to his looks, so he grudgingly agreed to ride along, never suspecting her thin sundress or the sunscreen in her purse. He was dressed warm in comparison - jeans and a V-neck shirt.
Hinata was determined to get him out and in the sun. He was dark enough to not need it. Didn't want it. Wanted to stay at home with his laptop and his stocks, rake in the money, plan further for a retirement that never seemed to come because he just could not get enough. Sure, he had upwards of three million stashed away already, but it just wasn't enough. Never would be.
"Kakuzu..?"
He cracked an eye open and glared viciously at the one responsible for his misery. Hinata was irritatingly unaffected by the look. She knelt on the towel, careful to not kick sand his way, with his head between her bare knees. Underneath the sundress she had worn a red halter one-piece, making an effort to be modest despite the cleavage and high cut of the suit on her hips. He was wholly unaffected by the swimsuit, unlike the scores of other men on the beach. More than once she had politely declined and pointed his way. The men gave her the strangest stare and walked away. At least he didn't have to kill someone. That would totally fuck with his retirement plan.
"You should come see the starfish I found," she said softly, stroking his dark brown hair back from his sweaty forehead.
Kakuzu didn't respond. He closed his eyes again and proceeded to ignore her. Hinata sighed and pressed her plush lips against the bridge of his nose and murmured, "I'm sorry, Kakuzu…"
He was finally about to snap at her when a brightly colored beach ball sailed out of nowhere and bounced right off his face. Hinata yelped and jerked back, glancing back and forth between Deidara, the ball, and the eerily silent Kakuzu.
"D-Deidara-kun!"
"Sorry!" The blonde barked with laughter and made a wide circle around the two to retrieve the ball, bouncing it in one hand with the other on his hip. "Maybe if he wasn't such a stable target, that shit wouldn't happen. What're you gonna do about it, old man? You know you're too scared of the sun. Scaaared."
Deidara bounced back and forth on his feet with a wide grin, beach ball brandished for another throw.
"Ah- Deida - KAKUZU, YOU CAN'T!" Hinata flailed for the scarred man as he quickly sat and reached for a Coke bottle in the cooler, ready to launch it at the blonde fiend.
"I'll fucking kill him, Hinata," Kakuzu responded calmly, trying to stand with her clinging to his arm.
"B-but - Um - how will we get home?" she tried, rationalizing with him.
"He has his keys."
"W-we're not s-stealing a car!"
"It's simple."
She gave him a hard look and yanked the bottle from his grasp. "NO."
They shared glares for a minute before he jerked away and sent her sprawling in the sand. "Fine."
Kakuzu stepped away from the sputtering girl and began folding the blanket. "Deidara. Take us back."
"Whaaat? You're such a tight ass, Kakuzu!" Deidara dropped the beach ball where he'd found it and jogged over, brushing sand from Hinata's back as he did. "It was just a little fun, no need to be so-"
Kakuzu stood to his full intimidating height, grabbed the blonde's ponytail, and sliced it clean off with the swiss army knife he kept in his jeans. Hinata's hands flew to her mouth, silver eyes flying wide open. Deidara went stiff. Kakuzu languidly finished folding the towel, took the umbrella down, hefted both under one arm and the cooler under the other, and walked to the car.
After several stiff moments Hinata laid a hand gently on Deidara's shoulder. He was trembling. "D-Deidara-kun…?"
The blonde wailed. "THAT FUCKER, HM! THAT BASTARD! I'LL KILL HIM! SLIT HIS THROAT!"
He fell to his knees and clung to the ponytail that was so heartlessly left in the sand. "NOOO!"
Hinata had to drive. Deidara was wrapped in the passenger side seatbelt to keep him from getting to Kakuzu in the back. Kakuzu was actually humming and watching the scenery go by with the most content expression Hinata had ever seen.
Maybe this summer wasn't so unproductive after all.