Here's part 2 of Russian Troubles! The snowstorms are starting to kick in and Jackie is making them...sing! (That caught the racers off gaurd!) Also Jackie is still trying to kill Chris and the racers! Plus Chris hitches a ride with a certain racer,but who? Read to find out!
P.S. There's a new poll on my profile! Check it out! And I hope you guys don't mind the "Timewarp". Sometimes you gotta speed things along.
Disclaimer:Read Part 1
Chris watched as the racers sped past him. He was shivering wasit deep in snow and was trying to think of a way to get back at Jackie and a way to get to the Checkpoint. That's when he saw Cody's car coming up. He quickly ran in front of the speeding car.
"Yo,dude!" shouted Chris "STOP!"
Cody pulled to a quick,but skidding hault. He was just 1/2 inch from running Chris over.
"Have you lost your *censored* mind!" shouted Cody "And what are you doing down here? Aren't you suppose to be up in the sky or something?"
"Yeah, Jackie kicked me out the helicopter." said Chris walking towards the passnger side of Cody's car. He tried to open the door,but it was locked.
"Hey,let me in!" protested Chris "I'm freezing my perfect ass out here!"
"No!" said Cody "I don't want you tracking snow in my car!"
"Come on dude!" said Chris "Let me in!"
Cody was getting ready to leave Chris sitting in the ice cold snow,but noticed Chris was about to smash his window open with a big rock!
"Whoa,whoa,whoa!" shouted Cody "Let's not do anything your gonna regret,McLean! Fine you can get in,but clean your boots frist."
"Thank you!" said Chris,glad he was saved from a snowy death. He heard the door click and he quickly hopped in. Cody glared at Chris when he didn't clean his boots and tracked snow in his car. He was about to kick the 30 something year old man out his car,but noticed that Eli,Pika,and John had past them.
"*censored*!" exclaimed Cody "Ugh,buckle up and hold on tight!"
And without warning Cody hit the gas and began to drive at top speed. Chris flew backwards and struggled to get his seatbelt on.
"Warn a guy when your about to drive like a insane person!" exclaimed Chris
Cody was trying his best to ignore the host's complanits and concentrated on the race. Cody wanted nothing more but to get to the checkpoint,so he could kick Chris out of his car. It was bad enough he was in 16th place now,but now he had a complaining,dangerprone,vain,and stuckup host in his car! He grumbled to himself as Chris began to messed with the car radio.
Dan was trying his best to ram Io off the road and make him crash! He tried every move in the book to get the goth to crash into a rock or ice. He drove up close enough to Io. He had an evil smile on his face as he looked out his passnger side window.
"I'm gonna kill you emo freak!" shouted Dan "This is for my Pokemon cards!"
Dan rammed into Io with a hard CLACK! . Io swirved and crashed into a large,almost bolder like rock. Io smashed the front of his car,and his airbag went off. Io bit a hole into the bag making it pop. The goth writer's pale face was red with rage,and he was breathing heavily.
"That little nerd is going the *censored* down!" screamed Io "YOU HEAR ME,DAN! YOUR A DEAD MAN!"
As Dan drove off in the distance he heared Io's threat and simply laughed. He got his revenge,and was very satisfied with his handy work. Dan was smiling like a maniac as he saw Io kick and swear at his car in his rearview mirror.
"Revenge is sweet." said Dan statisfied "Very,very sweet!"
And with that he drove off.
Back with Nina and her crew,Jaxon,who was now in fifth place,was trying his best to win this race! Again he wasn't desprate,he just wanted a date! Very,very,very badly.
"Ugh! Why won't these girls just go down!" said Jaxon to himself "I will get my date! Even if it kills me!"
And,true to his word,he was going to get his date. Even if it did kill him. Jaxon rear ended Erika with all his might,breaking her backlights.
"What the!" said Erika as she jerked forward from being rear ended. She quickly looked back and saw Jaxon,trying to make her wreak.
"He's not getting off that easy." said Erika "Sorry girls,but a girl's gotta,what a girl's gotta do!"
Erika hit her gas pedal as hard as she could and began to pick up speed. She went past Kat,who was shivering a bit from the cold,as well as Checkers. Since they rode bikes they didn't really have much heat to keep them warm.
Erika felt a bit sorry for them,but got over it. She had a race to win,and wasn't gonna let that bother her at the moment. She'd deal with it after she got to the CheckPoint.
In the skies,Jackie was observing the race. She felt a bit lonely in the helicopter without Chris to torture. She missed him a bit,but she wasn't gonna let that stop her from doing her job.
"Whaz up,viewers!" said Jackie "Jackie here with some new TDR updates! Nina Fey and her crew are still ahead of everyone! And it looks like our cool rocker,Jaxon is trying to make his way to frist! Go Dude! Also Dan has managed to knock Io compeletly off the road! Oh no! That means Io is out of the race! Poor Io! Dan,on the other hand,is doing well...for now! The other racers better hurry or they'll get caught in the wicked snowstorms up ahead! Which reminds me,I better get out of here! Will the racers,and Chris,make it to the CheckPoint in time or will they perish in the snow! Find out after this commercial break!"
And with that Jackie blew a kiss to the camera and flew away.
[ Six hours later:9:30pm]
After an entire day of racing the racers where now tired,cold,and hungry. The sun was getting ready to set and it was begining to get dark. Three racers were out of the race,Kat,who slipped on some sleet and crashed into a pile of frozen soild snow,Io, who crashed because of Dan,and Dawn,who crashed into a giant piece of ice because of Kimmie. All three had been towed to the CheckPoint by Chef Hatchet,who was less than happy to do it.
But unknow to the remaining racers,there was a harsh snowstorm was up ahead! The racers had no idea that they were going to be in a lot of trouble, and buried under snow. Jackie,who was at the frist CheckPoint with the three losers,was hoping nothing,too horrible would happen to the racers.
[At Reststop/CheckPoint]
Jackie was sitting in front of the moniters watching the race. It was snowing a bit outside of the RestArea,but Jackie didn't notice. She took swig of cherry red soda pop,and then licked a blue sucker. Jackie was begining to get bored with the race. She couldn't go back out in her helicopter, because there was suppose to be a horrible snow storm up ahead,and plus her parents would flip the freak out. So she just sat in moniter room,watching the race.
"Uuuuugh!" groaned Jackie "I'm so bored! I wish something was happening."
Jackie licked her blue sucker and continued to watch the race. Noises were coming from the rest area kitchen. Screams,grunts,bangs,and other loud noises were coming from the small kitchen.
"AAAHH!" someone screamed from the kitchen. It sounded like Io. " AAAAAHHHH,it bit my *censoreddddddddd* leg! Kat , hurry and grab Dawn's legs! It's gonna swallow her whole!"
"*censoredddddddd*!" screamed what sounded like Kat, "Don't just stand there,you so called Chef! Help pull her out! HEY! Don't touch me there,you perverted monster!"
"AAAAAAAAHHHH!" screamed what sounded like Dawn, "IT'S EATING MY HEAD! GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
Jackie ignored the ex-racers cries for help,and began to tune them out. That's when Jackie noticed something on one of the screens. She looked at it and a wide grin came across her face. The screen was set to the Russian weather channel,and it said that a harsh snowstorm was heading in the direction of the race.
"I have to warn them!" said Jackie dramaticlly "And fast! Cause if one of them dies out there I'm gonna be in so much trouble when I get home! Steele! Where's my wakie talkie?"
A blonde haired intern appeared and handed Jackie a cotton candy coloured walkie talkie. She thanked the intern and began to mess the dial on the device. It sqwaked and squeaked,until she got a good signal. She clicked the button on the side and said,"Come in. Come in. This is Jackie Keiko with some important info to the racers! A harsh snowstorm is heading your way! I repeat a snowstorm is heading your way! It seems Klimpaloon is really pissed about something! And the only way to calm him down is to sing! Whoever is in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th,5th and 6th place must sing! I repeat whoever is in the places I said before you MUST sing! If you don't,you'll be elimated from the race! Oh you guys have to make it up! Jackie out"
She let go the button and laughed out loud. She was going to enjoy listening to the racers sing.
[Back with the Racers]
"ARE YOU SERIOUS!" screamed Erika,who was now in frist place "We have to sing about a creature that doesn't even exist! That's a load of BS!"
"Je ne chante pas non plus mais, je le ferai![1]" said Nina,who was now in second place "Je ne veux pas éliminé![2]"
"It's kinda fine with me." said Jaxon,who was in fourth place
"AWESOME!" cheered Pika,who was third place "We get to sing!"
"Greeeeat." said John sarcasticly, who was tied for third "Frist we avoid death and now we have to sing."
"Singing? On a racing show?" Eli,who was now in fifth place "How does that work?"
"I don't want to sing!" whined Checkers,was in sixth place "I want to race!"
The racer's heard feedback coming from thier radios.
"SING OR YOU ARE OUT OF THE RACE!" Jackie screamed through the radio "AND I MEAN OUT! DONE! ELIMATEEEED! Jackie C. Keiko is out! PEACE!"
The racers grunted and groaned. A ding was heard the racers grunted and groaned even louder! Music was heard,and the racers began to sing. Pika,Erika,Checkers,and Nina started the song off. And thanks to the speical effects crew,the scene transformed from the race to a snowy landscape with mountians. The girls where dressed in form-fitting parkas and snowboots. The boys were playing instruments and wearing the same outfit as the girls,except a bit bigger. Eli was playing the lead gitaur,Jaxon the drums, and John the bass gituar.
"Oh," sang the girls ",oh, oh!"
"He stands in winter, he's striped and frozen
He is completely out of style
He got no hands, he got no feet"
The boys began to sang the next verse;
"All mouth and teeth, but he don't smile" sang Jaxon
"He's the magical old-timey bathing suit" sang Eli
"That lives in the Russian Mountains!" sang John
The sence switched to the tip of a huge Russian mountian where the group was looking for Klimpaloon.
"They call him Klimpaloon!" The boys sang together
"Klimpalooooon!" sang the girls in perfect harmony
The girls continued to sing on to the next verse;
"All the sherpas think that he's just a fool" sang Erika and Pika
"Are you on a quest for a swimming pool?" sang Checker and Nina
"Tell me, Klimpaloon" They sang together
"Klimpalooooon" The boys sang in perfect harmony as well.
"Lives in the mountains" The boys continued to sing
"Oh!" sang the girls
"The frozen mountains" sang the girls
The girls and boys were now standing wasit deep in snow, shivering with iceciels hanging off thier noses.
"Oh!" sang the boys
"Unlived, unfriendly, and unmapped" sang Pika
"He's so short-sleevey" sang Eli
"Oh!" sang Erika,John,Jaxon,and Nina
"More knit than weavy" sang Checkers
"Oh!" sang John
"His lips are really, really chapped!"
"He's made out of wool, he's itchy to wear!" said Eli,scratching himself
"He's got broad stripes and savoir-faire" sang John
"He's out of place almost everywhere" sang Nina
"Since 1883!" The group sang together in perfect harmony
"He's the magical old-timey bathing suit!" sang Checkers
"That lives in the Russian Mountians!" Sang Jaxon
"They call him Klimpaloon!" sang Eli
"Klimpalooooon!" sang the remaining racers
As the song came to an end,the snowstorm seemed to calm down some,much to the racers surprise.
"Wow." said Erika "That actually worked."
"Oui." said Nina agreeingly
"WEll since the storm has died down, I can finally take the lead! Mwahahaha!" laughed Jaxon evily
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" yelled Pika "I'm taking the lead!"
All of the racers began to pick up speed wanting to be frist. They were drawing closer and closer to the frist CheckPoint.
[CheckPoint:The Garage/Finish Line]
Jackie stood at the entryway of the finish line with Chef Hacthet, Lizzie, Kat, Dawn , and Io,who wear covered head to toe in what looked to be meat,corn,and what smelled like wine.
Jackie sniffed the air, and quickly grabbed her nose.
"EEEWWW!" exclaimed Jackie "What is the horrible smell!"
Jackie sniffed Io and then accidentily threw up on his shoes.
"OH COME ON!" shouted Io
"Sorry,but you guys reak! YUCK! Go stand on the other side of Chef! PLEASE!"
The three grunted and walked on the left side of Chef,who was wearing a gas mask. The racers grunted in annoyance and Chef's gas mask.
Jackie looked out into the horizon to see if the racers were coming, because she was becoming very impatient. She bit her bottom lip,which tasted just like vanilla. She rocked on her heels with the flag flung over her shoulder.
"Where arrre they!" whined Jackie "I mean seriously! THey should have been here already!"
"Stop complaining,J-pop!" said Chef "Man,you complain and whine more than pretty boy."
"I do not!" Jackie protested
"Yes,you do." said Io "You complain alot!"
"I DO NOOOT!" spat Jackie
"DO TOO!" Io spat back
'Does Jackie ever NOT bicker?' thought Lizzie 'I mean really she's always bickering. If not with Chris,then with an intern.'
Elizabeth knew that Jackie would be busy for awhile,she decieded to look out for the racers. She walked twaords the entryway and looked out into the horizon. She stood there for a good six mintues until she saw racers coming. She smiled really big and tried to get Jackie's attention.
"Jackie! Jackie the racers are coming! Jackie..Jackie?"
"Emo nerd!" snapped Jackie
"Spoiled brat!" Io snapped back
"Gothic loser!"
"Uh, Jackie?" said Elizabeth
"Japanese Slut!"
"That take back you, you, you freaky gothy emo brat!"
"JACKIE!" screamed Elizabeth at the top of her lungs
"WHAT!" Jackie screamed back, turning her attention to Elizabeth,slightly frightening her.
"The racers are coming! And thier coming in fast!"
"Finally!" cheered Jackie. She turned her attention back to Io shooting daggers at him,and sticking her tonuge at him.
"Slut." said Io under his breath
Jackie stood next to Elizabeth and waited to see who was coming in frist. She raised her flag high in the air.
"And the winner is..." said Jackie with slight excitment in her voice.
A black 2010 Camaro drove at top speed crossing the finish line. It came to a skidding stop. Erika stepped out of her car with a satified smile on her face.
"...Erika!"
"Yes!" cheered Erika "I beat Jaxon! I'm home free! Woo-hoo!" She joined the others and waited for the remaining racers.
Nina-2nd
Checkers-3rd
Eli-4th
John-5th
Jaxon-6th
Pika-7th
Kimmie-8th
Johnny-9th
Eyrton-10th
Dan-11th
Deimos-12th
Phobos-12th
Ashley-14th
Lance-15th
Cody (and Chris)-16th
"Alrighty! Everyone is here!" said Jackie "You can all get something to eat,get warm, and fix your cars! The next race starts in less than half a hour!"
Everyone began to scatter all over the place,some were heading twaords the dining hall,some the sitting room,which had a fire place,and a few stayed in the garage to fix thier cars.
Dan started to walk to the dining hall. He was starving. But as he was walking there he felt someone tap his shouder. He turned and around and saw the one person he didn't want to see. Io.
"Hello,Dan." said Io,with much anger in his voice. Rage flashed through his eyes. He stared Dan down,making Dan feel slightly small.
"Y-you don't scare me." whimpered Dan
"Oh I'll scare you alright!" said Io "I'll scare ya real good!"
He grabbed Dan by his shirt collar and proceeded to the bathroom.
"It's time you met a friend of mine. And his name is !"
"NO!" begged Dan "Anything but ! Please! H-help! Help me! I'm too young to get a swirly!"
No one answered to Dan's plea for help. Some just simply watched as Dan was dragged into the men's room,screaming.
Jackie pointed and laughed. Shje loved to watch other people's pain. That's when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She stopped laughing and froze. She knew who was behind her. She slowly turned around to find Chris,who was clearly pissed off,staring her down.
"Uh...hi!" said Jackie nervously "So..um the whole kicking you out the helicopter thing? Yeah,I'm so sorry about that and-"
"You are dead to me." said Chris cutting Jackie off.
A hurt and devastated look came across Jackie's face.
"But,but,but,but I thought that we-"
"DEAD!" shouted Chris.
And with that he walked away,leaving Jackie in total shock. She quickly followed him trying to make peace with him.
Will Jackie and Chris kiss and makeup? Will Dan's meeting with be as gross as it sounds? And will Jaxon ever get his date? Find out after this commercial break!
Well there's part two of "Russian Troubles". Seems Jackie and Chris are having a bad day today. And also this chapter sucks,Ijust currently got over my writer's block. And the singing thing. I just wanted to test it out to see if it worked or not. Anyway now I gotta working on part 3! Yay!
Translations:
1."I do not sing either but I will!"-French
2."I do not want to be removed!"-French