Kensi is not the kind of woman who gives up without a fight. Well, maybe she's starting to become that kind of woman. After all, she let Deeks slip away without putting much of a fight. It's stupid that the only thing she can think about while she's being held hostage in her father's old garage is Deeks and his leaving but that's the only thing she can focus on.

Her head hurts and she knows there's probably a big bruise on her forehead. She's not sure if it's bleeding or not because the guys are pretty rough and her hands are tied behind her back. However, she tries to remain awake because letting herself close her eyes for a few seconds with a concussion might not be the brightest idea ever. Andrew keeps looking at her and she knows he wants to say something but he remains silent. Kensi needs to remind herself that this whole thing is new to him. This is the first time he has to face a situation like this one.

This is not her first time. God, she has lost count of how many times she's been in a situation similar to this one. It comes with the job and they all accept that way before their first official day of work. There's not a single one of them who has never been held hostage. No matter how good you are, there is always a situation that can escape your grasp and send you tumbling into the enemies hands.

She knows her team is probably trying to find her by now but she can't wait that long. She needs to get out of there as soon as she can, and alone. There's something about the thought of someone saving her that is making her sick. Maybe it's because she's never been one to play the part of the damsel in distress. Maybe it's because she doesn't like to look weak. Or maybe, and that's probably the most correct one though she tries with all her strength to deny it, it's just because this time Deeks won't be there to save her. That thought is unsettling and messes with her mind in a way she wasn't ready for. That's why the next time their captors walk through the doors she tries to fight them, tries to free herself.

It doesn't end the way she planned. They stab her leg to make sure she has no chance to leave and punch her again for good measure before grabbing yet another needle. This time she doesn't try to fight back. She hears Andrew pleading them not to hurt her but they are way past caring about that at this point. The needle pierces her skin once again and it takes her only a few agonizing seconds to drift off to unconsciousness again. The strange part is that the only thing she can think about before the drug finally sets in is Deeks.

X

Kensi feels herself beginning to wake up but tries not to. The pain in her leg is terrible and she knows it's not going to get any better any time soon. The guys who are keeping her hostage are not going to give up soon and she's almost sure it will take her team a while to find her. She almost wants to call them and ask them for more drugs. The pain in her forehead is not nearly as bad as it was before she was knocked unconscious but it's still there.

Then she feels something warm on her hand and that's when she tries as hard as she can to extend the effect of the drugs for as long as she can. She doesn't want to wake up and see that Andrew is still there next to her, probably holding her hand. It's not that she doesn't like Andrew. She loves her brother to death but that's not the person she wants to see when she finally decides to open her eyes.

Then she hears something that makes her want to open her eyes badly. There's the steady beating of what can only be a heart-monitor next to her and a man talking in a whisper. She knows that voice. God, she misses that voice. She feels a hand squeezing hers and another hand softly stroking her forehead, cautiously avoiding the big bruise she knows it's there. She wants to open her eyes. She wants to see him. She wants to look into his bright blue eyes and ask him to forgive her for all her mistakes. She wants to feel his arms wrapped around her to give her that comfort she needs so much.

She can't, though. Kensi can't open her eyes. She tries to talk to him but she can't do that either. It's like she's not in command of her body anymore and it pisses her off. She needs to be in control. She needs to do things her way. When she finally stops trying to do anything to alert him that she's there, feeling him and hearing him, she listens. She's always been good with listening so there's no reason not to do just that. She misses his voice so much.

"Come on, sunshine, wake up! We're all here, worrying about you. I know you'd probably kick our asses to next century if you knew just how worried we all are but we can't stop. Sam is sitting outside, just staring at this damn door. He's been there for quite a while. Callen has been drinking coffee like there's no tomorrow which actually begins to scare me. Hetty, Eric and Nell are outside, in the waiting room too. And then there's me."

His voice, that is not much louder than a whisper, breaks even further. She wants to squeeze his hand and tell him that she's okay, that they have nothing to worry about. She can't. He continues and if Kensi didn't know him as well as she does, she would say he's crying while he speaks softly to her, almost like he's afraid of waking her up.

"I'm an idiot. Worse than that…I'm a stupid idiot. I thought I was doing the right thing, I really did. You didn't trust me and that's something I couldn't deal with. The truth is that I knew you trusted me, I've known it since that day with the Russians. I just needed you to give me something, Kensi. I just needed you to tell me you trusted me. I just needed you to tell me something that would make me see this partnership was for real. I see the mistake I made, sunshine, I really do. Please, forgive me. Please, wake up."

She knows he's crying and he's not even trying to disguise it. It's something completely out of character for him and Kensi wants to cry too because she has never listened to him being so honest. She wants to tell him there's no reason to be worried. She's fine, or at least she thinks she is. She's not sure of anything anymore. Deeks kisses her forehead. She feels his warm trembling lips on her forehead and they linger there for longer than necessary. When he pulls back, she hears him continuing.

"I know you're going to be fine. I'm just telling you this right now because I know I won't have the guts to say it out loud once you're awake. Besides, I won't be here when you wake up. I know you hate me right now and that chances are you'll never forgive me for what I've done but I need to know I told you this, even though you're probably not listening to me. I love you, Kensi. I love you with all my heart and I promise you I will do everything I can to make sure you never have to deal with a broken heart again, even if I have to threaten every single guy in LA. I'll make sure you're happy, Kensi, even from afar. I love you, princess!"

She feels his lips on her forehead once again and wants to cry, want to tell him she loves him too even though she doesn't show it. It's how she's been raised, actually. Her father was not the type of guy who would openly show his emotions to anyone. Working for a federal agency like NCIS helped keeping her emotions at bay too. Now, she wants to show him. She wants him to know that the only way for her to be happy is with him by her side, every single day.

He lets go of her hand and she hears his footsteps. She knows he's leaving her room. She wants to sit up in the hospital bed and yell at him to stay and never leave her side again. She wants to beg him to never leave her again. She curses her body for its lack of cooperation when she needs it the most. She hates her weakness right now.

X

Deeks exits her hospital room and doesn't even bother trying to disguise the tears is his eyes. He sits on a chair outside her room and buries his head on his hands. Callen sits next to him and pats his back. Deeks looks at the other man and doesn't know what to do or say to him. Callen seems to sense this because he's the one who breaks the silence between them.

"There's no rule." Deeks frowns, not exactly sure of what he means with that. Callen clarifies.

"There's no rule against dating a co-worker as long as said co-worker is not your boss. None of us mind and Hetty doesn't either." Deeks doesn't know how he knows about his feelings for Kensi but he decides not to ask anyway. It's not what matters. He shakes his head and turns to Callen once again.

"It doesn't matter. I'm staying here until she wakes up. I need to make sure she's okay but after that I'm leaving."

"Where are you going? You're an NCIS agent now, Deeks. You can't just leave!"

"Come one, Callen. We both know the only reason why I signed those papers was because I needed to find her. What I feel for Kensi doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm going to make sure she's happy and being around her it's not good for her." Callen shakes his head but Deeks doesn't really care. He knows what's right and knows what he has to do. Callen, however, is as stubborn as Kensi.

"We both know that's a lie, Deeks. You and Kensi are completely messed up but you're good together. She cares about you, more than what she'll ever admit out loud in front of any of us. Stay and tell her how you feel. You won't regret it." Deeks shakes his head once again, refusing to believe in Callen's words. He knows that believing in such a thing would only hurt him further because none of that is true.

"She made you promise that I would be the last person you'd contact if something happened to her. I think that proofs exactly what she feels about me. The worst part is that I can't blame her for hating me, not after what I've done to her." With that much said, Deeks gets up and goes to the cafeteria in search for a good cup of coffee. He doesn't get very far, though, because suddenly all hell breaks loose. Out of nowhere, nurses rush to Kensi's room and a doctor comes running from down the hallway.

Callen and Sam get up and try to see what's going on but all they can hear is her heart beating way faster than before over the machine and the nurses and doctor rushing around and almost screaming orders. There's a nurse stopping Callen and Sam from going inside. Hetty has her eyes closed and looks like she's actually praying. Nell is squeezing Eric's hand as hard as she can and has tears in her eyes.

Deeks can't move. He wants to go there. He wants to fight every single person that stands in between him and the woman he loves with all his heart. He's frozen, though. He wants to move but panic won't let him. It's like he's not in control of his own legs anymore. He just stands there while everyone tries to make things right. Does that make him a coward?

His mind goes blank for a few seconds but then everything changes. Deeks is suddenly assaulted by a bunch of memories that are the same ones that kept him company during the incredible lonely two past weeks. Her smile, her eyes, the way she laughs, the way she talks, the way she moves, the way she's not afraid to punch her way through any situation…he knows what he has to do. It's clear.

X

Kensi 'wakes' up once again. She can't remember how she fell asleep again but nothing has changed since then. She's still in the hospital room and her heart-monitor is still beeping steadily. She still can't control her body. She still wants Deeks by her side. Kensi remembers his words, remembers his touch and his light kiss. She needs him back.

Her heart starts to beat faster and the beeping sound of the monitor by her side is a clear indication of that. She needs to calm down and is well aware that she' starting to have another panic attack. Oh, that's why she fell asleep again. However, this one doesn't progress because not only two seconds after the fast beeping starts there's that warmness in her hand that alerts her to someone's presence by her side. His voice is what makes her heart go back to its normal pace.

"It's okay, princess. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere!"

X

X

Okay, I know I said this one would be the last chapter but it's been too long since I've last updated and it would take me a few more days to complete this in order to make it a final chapter. Therefore, one more to go (and this time it's for real).

Tell me what you think about this one and I'll update as soon as possible.

Sarah