Chapter Two: Hell, Heaven and Earth

Deidara woke up. His back was cold and the air smelled of a mixture of blood and chemicals. Where the heck am I, hmm? He thought as the pain from the night before hit him like a ton a bricks. When he opened his eyes, Deidara saw a bright, white light shining glowing above him, making his head hurt. After blinking a few times, the bomber tried to get up. Only then did he realize that he was strapped down. He felt something cold and smooth brush against his side and slide up to his ear.

"Did you ssssleep well Dei-Dei-Darling?" The snake morphed into Orochimaru as it spoke. Deidara was not surprised in the least.

"You bitch!" Deidara rasped, his throat quite sore. "Get me off here, hmm!"

"Bitch?" Orochimaru mocked, "I wouldn't call anyone else that if I were you, bitch." The Immortal Snake slid his long tongue across Deidara's still bare chest, causing goosebumps so bad his victim convulsed on the table.

Deidara suddenly felt like crying, for no reason at all and the area around his elephant felt strange.

"What did you do to me?" he demanded, trying to sound tough, though he felt breakable as glass.

"It's just a little... experiment." Orochimaru snickered evilly and licked his lips. "You'll get used to it. Eventually. Though advise you as your...doctor...to ssstock up on tamponssss and other femine products that I am not yet aware of." He bowed and glided out of the room.

"What the hell...?" Deidara tried to figure out what was going on, but this only made him want to cry more. He then remembered, Hey! I have two extra mouths! He slid his hands down as far as the bindings would allow. Perfect! He thought, as his hands began to chew through the bindings. He sat up and pulled on the closest scrub he could reach.

Soon, he was out and skipping to freedom. Unfortunately, he had forgotten about the hideouts great many hallways. Deidara was running through the maze, like a laboratory rat searching for cheese. However, in this case his cheese was a door leading to the outdoors.

Why? Kabuto cried, looking at the opposite wall. Why did you send me here? Didn't our love mean anything to you? Oh Sasori...Sasori...

Orochimaru's henchman sat there silently wondering what he had done wrong. Suddenly, he heard a heart-broken sob from the other end of the hall. Thinking that is was just an echo he ignored it, but then he heard it again. What is that? He thought as he stood up to go investigate.

"Sasuke?" He called, "Did you get the dildo stuck again? Lord Orochimaru won't be pleased!" Kabuto paused and said, as if to himself. "Actually he would..."

When the bespectacled doctor looked around the corner, he did not find Sasuke as he expected. Instead he found a beautiful blonde girl. He began walking over to her, thinking This is better than sticking my hand up Sasuke's furry butt to remove his filthy sex toys.

"Hey, are you lost?" Kabuto asked sympathetically. The blonde looked up, blue eyes filled with tears and jumped into Kabuto's arms.

"I'm so glad you found me!" The beauty cried into his shoulder. Kabuto simply patted her back in a comforting manner when he felt something nibble his ear. The girl was rubbing herself against him in a seducing manner and he thought, She is strangely flat-chested! Almost like a boy... He felt himself becoming aroused, despite the fact that he wasn't very into girls. He picked her up bridal style and found her mouth with his and kissed her deeply. Kabuto almost sprinted to his room and kicked the door open with the girl still in his arms. Kicking the door shut behind them, the gray haired teen laid the blonde on his bed and began kissing her slowly and sweetly.

Deidara kissed the wonder-man back, loving everything from the sweet taste of his tongue to the soft caress of his touch. The gray haired boy wasn't rough like Orochimaru had been the night before, he was sweet and slow. He touched Deidara like he was something to hold sacred, like he was breakable. Deidara liked this greatly. The teen above him sat him up without breaking their kiss and began untying the scrubs that were between them. When they were removed the boy looked at Deidara slowly, smiling.

Yes! She's a he! Kabuto thought and kissed him once again, even sweeter than before. He slid his hands up and down the other boy's back then slowly laid him down on his back as he began kissing his way to the blonde boy's cock. He placed his mouth around the end of the blonde's length and began sliding up and down, gently running his teeth along the entire length. The boy below mewed like a kitten to this touch.

"Oh, yes..." The blonde moaned with bliss leaking from his voice. "That's just right, hmm." Kabuto heard the 'hmm' and fell in love with the speech habit immediately.

Kabuto began kissing his way back up to the blondes mouth and captured it with his. As Kabuto lovingly kissed the boy below him he reached towards his bedside table, opened the drawer and pulled out the bottle of lube he kept hidden there. He squeezed some onto his hand and rubbed it on his own length.

Kabuto took two fingers that were generously coated with the lube and traced them down to the hole he knew he would find. He slowly slid in one, then two. He slowly pulled them in then out over and over again, opening and closing his fingers like scissors. The Boy moaned in pleasure at Kabuto's movements inside of him. Kabuto removed his fingers and slowly positioned himself at the blondes opening.

"Are you ready for this?" Kabuto asked, ready to stop or start at the other boy's command. "I'll stop if you want..." He was surprised when the blonde grasped his hips and pulled Kabuto in. Kabuto replied to this by thrusting slowly yet steadily, not wanting to hurt the other boy. It was sheer heaven for both of them.

The next morning, Deidara awoke sore, but not too sore. The pain was more of a comforting, lovingly annoying pain, instead of the oh-my-gosh-my-anus-is-going-to-explode pain he had felt the morning before.

"Good morning, hmm," he said to his lover who was already up, fully dressed and writing.

The gray haired wonder walked over and kissed Deidara soflty and warmly on the forehead. "It's nice to see you in full light, my sweetie."

The bomber sat up in the bed, aware of his soreness and hoping it could get better. His partner took the hint and leaned on top of Deidara. The blonde began straddling his lover's hip and closed his eyes, waiting for the joy to hit him again. Then a thought struck him. I'm still in Orochimaru's hideout! Deidara shot up abruptly, causing the henchman to nearly fall off the bed.

"I've got to get out of here, hmm!" Deidara almost began crying again. "Where's the exit?"

"Oh..." his new 'boyfriend' pushed up his glasses, feeling a bit upset.

"It's not that, hmm!" Deidara kissed his man again to prove that he really did love him. "Orochimaru's after me!"

Kabuto nodded, understanding fully what that meant. "Just go down the hall and there's a door on the right with a neon 'exit' sign. You can't miss it."

"Thank you! Thank you for everything, hmm," Deidara ran to the door. Then he realized he was naked. "Do you have any clothes I could borrow, hmm?" He blushed as he turned to Kabuto.

"Here," A black cloak was tossed in Deidara's direction. Quickly and swiftly, the blonde put it on and ran once more.

Itachi sat staring at the piece of pie that was taunting him. Deidara had eaten most of the pie, and left two pieces, one of which he had given to Sasori. The other, however, was still sitting here, saved for later. Deidara had even so kindly left a note on said piece of pie saying:

Eat this pie and I'll kill you, hmm!

Since Deidara was absent, Itachi was wondering if the note really meant much. After all, how could the bomber kill him if he wasn't present? Besides, Itachi had already defeated him once, how hard would it be to do it again?

"There's no need to let a perfectly good piece of pie go to waste," Itachi murmured, grabbing a fork. He was just about to shovel the deliciousness into his mouth when he heard the door behind him open.

"UH HA," Deidara panted roughly, glad to be home. He immediately saw Itachi sitting there, about to to eat his pie that he spent his hard-earned stolen money on.

Itachi, who usually was very composed, jumped three feet into the air, accidentally shoving pie into his mouth in the process.

"YOU!" the bomber swaggered than collapsed, a look evil enough to kill plastered on his face.

Deidara's opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was an empty pie plate accompanied by a note that read:

The pie was good, but it needed more sugar. Thank you.

~Itachi

"Urg!" the blonde sat up quickly, crumpled the note and threw it at the wall. "I hate you, Itachi, hmm," he said in the voice of the exorcist. Then, his head began spinning and throbbing in patterns, causing him to lay back down.

Hearing his partner's loud exclamation about Itachi, Sasori quickly ran into Deidara's room, only to find the bomber curled up in the fetal position, clutching his head tightly. Deidara looked up at Sasori, a pained look in his eyes.

"Medication. NOW," the blonde managed to croak out before grasping his head again.

Although he had many questions to ask his partner, Sasori could not stand to see Deidara in that much pain. He ran across the hall to his room and mixed up some strong pain medication. About two minutes later, he returned to find his friend in the same spot, covered in his own vomit.

Okay, thought Sasori, turning back to his lab. I guess I have to set up an I.V.

Deidara was cleaned and filthy, alone and crowded. Hot and cold and sore and everything was right and wrong. He was with one and without the one, that gray-haired teen without a name. What was a name? He couldn't remember..

"Yeah, he's been hallucinating all day." Sasori spoke as Pain looked questioningly at Deidara.

"What happened to him?" The leader asked.

"I don't know," Sasori admitted, "Itachi said he burst in last night and fell unconscious. I asked him where he had been and he said something strange. Probably just a bunch of nonsense from the medication."

"That being?" The leader looked at Sasori, his voice sounding curious, his face expressionless.

"He said 'Hell, Heaven, and back to Earth again,'" Sasori then went back to tending to Deidara as Pain thought this over.

Cold, sweat, pain, pleasure, bliss, anger, joy. It hurts!, Don't stop! No more, more! How many hours until he was finished? He was baggage, he was precious, He didn't know what he was anymore. When would the pain end? Was it real life? Or was it...

"I don't know or care," he said, "I wish for death, hmm."

"Please no!" Cried a little voice, "I want to live!"

"...I want you to live..." Deidara murmured in his sleep. Sasori looked over at the ill teen, wondering what he meant.