Chapter Four
Harry met Jolie and Pascal in the hallway at midnight. They were elders from the Roma camp and his close friends. Jolie was a small, thin man, a head shorter than Harry. He wore a hat pulled down raucously over his forehead; it hid the dark laughing eyes beneath eyes that could also be piercing. Jolie was in the habit of twisting his curled moustache and flashing his gold front teeth and liked to chew on a long stem pipe and smoke it frequently. When he was in a place where there were no Roms he often more cautious and solitary. Harry understood. His adopted family were not often welcomed into the wizarding community. Sometimes they were considered lowlife, other times people were just afraid of them.
Jolie had brought along a companion, Pascal, a cousin who sometimes joined the caravan with his own family and sometimes broke off to travel the road with other families. Harry didn't know him as well but trusted him no less. He had yet to meet one of the Rom he did not trust. Pascal was a larger man, hat in hand and standing quietly behind Jolie. Bothwere dressed in their normal clothing for them and very unlike other wizards. Pascal wore suspenders and pulled on them nervously while he shifted from foot to foot.
"Chav (dear child)!" Jolie said and hugged Harry. "Mushto hom me di kava tute (I have missed you)."
"Jolie, I left you two days ago. How could you miss me?" Harry asked in Romani.
"Ah, it is the way I am. So, you need this old Roma again, eh?" Jolie flashed his gold teeth. "Good, good. I am here." He tapped his chest as if boasting but Harry knew it was an act. Jolie was a 'godaver manush' ( a wise man and wizard) on equal if not better footing in some things than Albus Dumbledore.
Harry hugged Pascal. "Has the road been good for you, friend?" he asked.
"Yes, friend," Pascal answered and hugged him back, smiling shyly.
"Sit tut bocklo (are you hungry)? Harry asked. It was customary to ask about the comfort of his guests.
"We are well," Jolie said.
"Then we'll go upstairs."
"It is this old man who runs the school you have told us about?" Jolie said as they climbed the darkened stairs of the old mansion
"Yes, Jolie," Harry said. "I couldn't explain exactly why you were needed but it's because I'm not sure what is wrong."
They stopped midstair and Jolie stared at him with a serious face. "I thought as much. So I have brought Pascal. He is wise about such strange things."
Harry glanced down the stairs at the man behind them and nodded. "It is wise that Jolie has brought you then. You are much needed." Harry was giving the man a sincere compliment hoping to also put him at ease.
Harry led the way to Dumbledore's room. Madam Pomphrey had been sent to bed and Snape sat in the chair by Albus. He stood when the men entered the room.
"Hello, Old Crow," Jolie said warmly in Romani and shook hands with Snape.
Harry noticed the look on Snape's face. He must be learning Romani, he thought, He knows what Jolie just called him.
Jolie stared at Albus, bent over the bed, examined his face and smelled his breath, "He is mullo (possessed)?"
Snape shook his head.
"Pascal. Look at this Gadjo ( non-gypsy) and tell me what you think?" Jolie nodded for the man to take his place and said to Snape who had risen and started to step between Pascal and Dumbledore. Jolie raised his hand. "It's all right. He knows what he's doing, that's why I've brought him along." Snape grunted and stepped aside, watching the other man approach. Harry could feel the tension in the room and watched the Potion's master. It would not be good for him to have a confrontation with his Rom friends because Harry was pretty sure Snape would not win.
Pascal wrinkled his nose, touched Dumbledore's chest and looked around the room. Harry watched nervously. The man examined the room and got down on his knees to look under the bed. He pulled the bedclothes down and examined Dumbledore's body in detail.
"What's he doing, Jolie?" Harry asked, slightly concerned.
"Looking for marks, or hexes, talisman or amulets." Jolie whispered and put his finger to his lips. "We wait."
Pascal finished and gently covered the unconscious form. He shook his head at them.
"He is not haunted by a dead person," he said. "We can proceed."
Harry translated for Snape. "He says we can go ahead." He then spoke in Romani to Jolie, "He's going to teach me how to go into the mind of this man, to look in his head and see the pictures there and find out why he is like this."
Jolie looked at him as if he had gone mental. He turned and looked at Pascal who shrugged his shoulders and turned his palms out as if to say this was all very foreeign to him, too. "You're going to travel into his head?" he asked with concern written all over his face. The man glanced at Snape and then back to him.
"Yes," Harry answered and nodded at Snape. "He has to show me how." Harry had been taught to Spirit Walk; leave his body and travel to meet others. Jolie had been his teacher and guide. Now, Harry was hoping Jolie and Pascal were added measures of safety. He believed the combination of Snape's skill and the gypsy skills would help him accomplish the task.
"This, I want to see," Jolie said in Romani and smiled. "You- Black Crow- you can do this?" he asked Snape in English.
"My name is Severus or Mr. Snape if you like," Snape said, "and yes, I can do this Mr. Pulani."
"Jolie, call me Jolie," Jolie said, happily. "It is not bad you have name of Crow. It is a lucky name for our people. It means 'Happy Journey' ." Jolie was being his usual charming, vivacious self, like a puppy nipping playfully at ones' heels. Snape was like a snake, curled and ready to strike.
"I'd prefer Severus if you don't mind," Snape snapped waspishly.
Harry had to shake his head in wonder. These two had known each other for almost a year and they were circling each other now like two dogs. "Okay! Professor what do I need to do?" he asked stepping in to stop them. Jolie stepped back, hands in the air and grinned at Snape as if to say, "No harm done."
Snape explained, "You will perform the spell as we discussed earlier. You will use your mind and your will, like a wedge opening a door to enter his mind. If you get in, the memories and thoughts will flash by very quickly. Initially, many people become nauseous from the physical feeling. It's like spinning in a circle very fast. I don't expect you to get to that point his evening."
"Tell me everything to expect, Professor," Harry asked politely. "I probably won't be successful but I need to know what to do with what I see."
Snape glared at him for a moment and Harry remembered the feeling he'd experienced in Snape's Potions classes when Snape had given him that look. He was about to say something when Snape spoke, "Very well. It is very much one-sided. You don't talk to one another, you are the viewer and the other person 'plays out their memories' unaware of your presence. They will not talk to you, address you or have contact with you. That is with a normal person. However, Dumbledore is not a normal wizard. I think you can expect many things or perhaps nothing. He's quite capable trapping you, or pushing you out even in an unconscious state."
"Have you tried?" Harry asked him. "I mean before I arrived. Did you try Legilimency with him?"
"No." Snape hesitated and said, "I thought it would be best if we do this together. I can act as your anchor, add to your power to generate the spell and act as your guide."
Harry knew why he hesitated. They had done something like this before and it had involved Harry's dead mother. Harry watched Snape's face as he translated for Jolie and Pascal.
As he did he watched Snape's face and saw the concerned reaction Jolie was having as he described what Snape had said.
"Tell him, I am joining you and I am a skilled Legilimens," Snape said.
Jolie asked Harry to step on the landing outside the bedroom door and they left the room. "Harry, I think there should be some precautions taken if you are going to take this journey."
"What do you suggest, Jolie?" Harry asked.
"What do you know of this man Dumbledore and of the black crow-man, Snape?" he asked in return.
"What do you mean, 'know'?"
Jolie continued somberly, "If we go into anothers' mind there may be places that are familiar and many that are not; a road well-traveled rather than one never used." Jolie squatted down as if he had a fire next to him and he pulled Harry down with him. It was a normal act for him. He was speaking softly so they could not be overheard. "The things we share with each other- those are familiar- a trail we can recognize. Still, there are many things which remain hidden in a man; these are sometimes shameful, unpleasant or ugly. We hide our faces with our hands. How do you hide your mind?"
Harry understood what he was saying, "Dumbledore might try and block the way if there was something he didn't want anyone to know." Harry considered it and said, "I know very little about the two of them, as you already know, Jolie. I didn't know about Severus and my mother for one thing. Dumbledore has been my headmaster at school. I don't know if he even has any family. So I understand your concern and I definitely wouldn't consider it except Snape and Remus seem to think Dumbledore's condition won't change unless we try this."
Jolie nodded and made a gesture as if to say; 'See this is what I'm saying".
"Learning about someone takes a lifetime and that, I don't have," Harry added grimly. "I am willing to try. I don't know if you can help at all and maybe this kind of magic is just too much Gadje magic for you and Pascal. I understand if you can't help but I would feel better if you were here anyway."
"Yes, it is true we do not use this kind of magic," Jolie said and studied Harry. "This man will be your guide, Harry, and he knows this Albus. You must have trust in him. He knows the road better than you. There are more familiar markings for him and remember Harry; Kai zhalo vurdon vurma mekela (where the wagon goes a trail will follow)." It was an old Romani saying. "But I know you do not like each other and this could proved to be very bad."
"What are you saying, Jolie?" Harry asked, now very confused.
"If you get lost, if you find that you have lost trust in this man Snape, then follow the road you know. Follow it back," Jolie said.
"How, Jolie?" Harry asked.
"Remember when you did the Spirit walk?" Jolie asked.
Harry nodded.
"It is for you to but think of where you journey in order to be there. When you are in the old man's mind, if you feel lost, then you have but to think of me. I will be waiting to bring you home."
They re-entered the room. Harry wasn't sure how to approach Snape. "I need to ask you a question, Professor," Harry said.
Snape nodded.
"When you were teaching me Occlumency, I was able to force you out of my mind with a stinging spell."
"Yes," he admitted.
"What will it be like if Albus thinks we are invaders, rather than friends?" Harry asked.
"He'll kill us," Snape said, simply. "Probably in a very painful way."
Harry considered what he was saying and what Jolie had told him. "It would help if I'm not calling you Professor all the time. I think if we're going to do this it might help to call you by name. Mr. Snape if you don't mind," Harry said.
Snape nodded again.
"All right, then." Harry sat down and waited until everyone had taken a seat. "Jolie made a point to me a minute ago and I thought it was a good one. We want to do this as safely as we can. He reminded me that I don't really know you and Albus very well, not as normal people, not your personal lives anyway. Moreover… if I'm reading Albus' memories, thoughts... whatever...well, I can't ignore the fact that I won't recognize or understand most of it. Jolie says you'll be better at it because you have known each other for so long."
"Yes, essentially that's true," Snape confirmed. He was watching him and not contributing any further information.
"He also says people naturally have many things they'd rather not share with others... like very private thoughts…" Harry stumbled on the word and then took a breath, "You and I have managed to stumble on a few of those ourselves during lessons."
Snape sat motionless and then answered, "Yes, you're right. The boundary between our minds will also be thin when we try and interpret what Albus is thinking and feeling."
Harry nodded thoughtfully. "Do you know of any sensitive issues that might help me? Or areas to avoid," he finished, "for Albus…or... for you?"
"Thank you for considering it, Mr. Potter," Snape said, without malice or scorn in his voice. He was studying him carefully.
"HARRY, Mr. Snape, you can call me Harry if you like," Harry said, irritably.
Snape shifted in his chair. Jolie and Pascal were watching intently, not understanding the entire conversation, but listening.
"I'd prefer we address each other with a little more formality, Mr. Potter. I assure you I am a proficient Legilimens," Snape said firmly. "I will most probably be able to handle any intrusions you attempt on your part."
"Good, good," Harry murmured, hesitating for a moment and then adding, "And intrusions- on your part- in my mind? How do we handle those?"
"I shall endeavor to focus my mind on Dumbledore," Snape said. The air seemed to fill with tension once again. The kind that always seem to happen between the two of them no matter the circumstances and Harry almost felt like giving up. He could not do this if he didn't trust Snape and there was no reason to believe Snape had changed his feelings about him. Harry hoped it would not make their attempt fail miserably as Jolie anticipated, and maybe even in disaster.
"Potter, there is one thing…" this said in a less defensive tone.
Harry sat looking at Snape and thinking. What is it with you? Why do you have to be so bloody ugly and mean? What did I ever do to you? "What is it?"
"We may learn some things no one else should ever know," Snape said, looking strangely uncomfortable.
Harry nodded again, feeling himself cool off. He remembered the discussion with Remus and knew Dumbledore had many secrets he had not shared. "I understand."
"Are you ready to begin?" Snape asked. His face was blank.
No, Snape. I'd rather be eaten by wolves alive then share my mind with you, he was thinking. Harry translated what their intentions were to Jolie and Pascal and then pulled out his wand.
"Mr. Snape, (the name rolled uncomfortably on his tongue) have you ever attempted Legilimens with Dumbledore?" Harry asked standing and pointing his wand at Dumbledore. They stood side-by-side.
"No," he answered. Snape was taller and looked down his long equine nose at Harry, "Any further questions?
"I'm ready." Harry turned to Dumbledore and intoned along with Snape, "Legilimens."
Harry had experienced the sensation of using floo powder to travel from fireplace to fireplace. It was a standard method of travel in the wizarding world he preferred not to use. He found the spinning, heat and choking sensations of the method were always unpleasant and left him disoriented more often than not. As he spoke the words Legilimens and pointed his wand, focusing his mind, he felt the same type of overpowering sensation, a whirling, spinning tornadic sensation, where his normal senses ceased to function properly. He could not see the room or the other two men standing in it. He could not feel the floor beneath his feet, nor could he hear any sound, or sense the temperature of this room.
Unlike other spells, where he felt the power come from him; he realized this felt more like a portkey, (another type of wizarding travel). He felt himself being pulled into a different world of dizzying sights and sounds and fast moving pictures that were not his own. He had the sense of a presence nearby which he knew to be a Snape. This too, was unlike his previous experience in Spirit Walking with the man. The boundary between them was blurred and to Harry it felt like their two minds crossed over.
Harry could hear Snape's voice as if it were in his own head.
"This is very unusual. We are being pulled in," the voice said. "try and stay relaxed Mr. Potter and breath deeply. I'm thinking of a favorite moment in my memory which felt very relaxing. Try and do the same," Snape's voice drifted up and down in volume. "Don't fight him. Let him pull us in."
Harry seemed to wake as if from a dream. He stood in a long paneled hallway. There were no windows and no doors. Lamps lit the wood of the walls and warmed their polished surface. The floor was carpeted with a rose-colored, deep-pile carpet and seemed to go on forever into the distance. Snape stood at his side. He looked so solid that Harry was tempted to reach out and touch him. The terrible whirling and spinning was completely gone.
Snape looked at him and frowned. "This is most unusual. Stay focused." He said the words without moving his mouth and his voice was very clear. "I do not know what to expect." Snape started down the hall and Harry followed.
"Hello," a familiar voice echoed down the hall. "May I be of service to you? Are you lost?" Albus Dumbledore appeared out of nowhere and walked towards them, dressed in light blue robes. He was smiling pleasantlybut also glancing around as if he too were confused at his location. "Perhaps I can show you the way, although… I seem to be misplaced myself." Dumbledore stopped before them and studied the hallway.
Harry could hear Snape's voice in his head, "He doesn't recognize us. Speak only when I tell you to.."
"Ah no, this is the way. Follow me," he turned and walked back down the hall and they followed silently. "'Yes, yes. This is such a large place. Easy to get lost," he mumbled. "I don't remember having guests before. That's fine though. We'll just go down here." They turned a corner and found another long hallway. Dumbledore stopped for a moment, "Hmm, don't remember this. Nevertheless… I should like to offer you some tea...and a place to sit ad chat. Perhaps if we go this way." They turned to another hallway. To Harry each hallway looked the same and he was feeling lost.
"Albus, you are a guest in my home. Let me show you the way," Snape's voice was silky and gentle. "Remember the day you came to fetch me. It was my first time at Hogwarts. You're in Snape Manor." Snape stood in front of the man spinning in circles and drew his attention to him.
"Severus, my boy!" Albus' eyes lit up. He was not looking at Snape when he recognized his voice but had slipped past him and was walking down the hall away from them. Snape motioned with his head that they should follow. "Now, I know where I am. I was a little confused before. Follow me!"
"Mr. Potter, this is going to be unpleasant for both of us, but it cannot be helped," Snape's voice bled into his thoughts.
"I think this is it!" Dumbledore opened a door that had not been there a minute before. He led them into a room.
"He is remembering how we met…" Snape explained to Harry.
"Oh my boy, my poor boy," Dumbledore moaned. He held a boy of about eleven in his arms. Harry knew the boy. He had seen him in Snape's mind when they had practiced Occlumency. It was Snape as a child. "How can the world treat its children in this way?"Dumbledore groaned. He turned to them, his eyes full of tears. Harry could see what he cried about. The child's dark eyes stared at them in terror; his body badly bruised. Harry knew in his heart the child was beyond tears. He had been abused so many times he no longer knew how to cry.
"Time to go, Albus, You have saved me from my parents and I am well," Snape's sad voice resounded through the room like a bell ringing.
They were once again in the hallway. "There are so many of them. I don't have enough time," This time Dumbledore looked frantic. "Will you help me gather them? All the little ones?" He was waving his arms, looking angry and confused. "I must find them. Will you help me?"
"Call to him Mr. Potter. He's caught in a trap of his memories."
"Professor, Prfessor Dumbledore? It's Harry, Harry Potter," Harry stood in front of the man and opened his mouth but found he didn't need to actually speak. What was in his mind seemed to come out of loud speakers hidden in the hall. It was almost deafening. He tried to quiet his thoughts. "It's me Professor, it's Harry."
Dumbledore grabbed his arm and peered into his eyes penetrating into the core of Harry's brain. It almost felt like a cold shaft of steel and it hurt. "Harry?"
"Yes...yes... Professor, it's me." Harry could feel a vise-like grip in his head.
"Is it you?" Dumbledore squinted, "Or do you mock me? You're not Harry!"
"You have to convince him." Snape turned to Harry. "He's dangerous if he doesn't believe you."
What can I say to make him believe? Harry thought. The pain was getting stronger.
"I'll show you the real Harry Potter!" Dumbledore said and took off down the hall, "Not an imposter!" They followed him.
Snape was at Harry's side. "You must try and find something he remembers which connects you too so that he will believe you are who he sees."
Dumbledore opened a door that lead to dark street in front of Number Four Private Drive. He held a small bundle in his arms. "Little Harry," he said to the sleeping child, " you'll never know that your father died to save the world, and your mother died to save you. But you will never lack from love." Dumbledore kissed the child's head and laid it on the step to the house. "This is but a temporary home, Harry. When you're ready you will come to your true home."
Harry felt his heart erupt in his chest and tears welling up in his throat.
A moment passed as they watched the scene. They stood again in the hallway. Dumbledore looked at them as if he finally knew them. There was a moment of pure sanity and clarity. "Take me home." He said it as if he knew why they were there and was sending out one last desperate message. "I must go back to Hogwarts."
Then, he degenerated into an angry, shouting person Harry had never seen before. "You will not harm my children!" He roared up at them expanding in the hallway, his face red and enraged. They were thrown from his mind, from the world he had created.
Harry thought he was flying too fast and didn't know a way to slow himself down or stop. "Snape!" he shouted, flailing his arms in the spinning well surrounding him and pulling him down. "Help me! I 'm falling." He couldn't feel Snape's presence any longer or see him. He felt himself falling into darkness and feeling himself lost he cried out to Jolie. "Help me Jolie, help me!"
"Harry," Jolie's voice penetrated his mind. "Listen to the beat of the heart. Listen closely, follow the sound, and it will bring you to me. Listen…to the beat...of my heart."
Harry concentrated. Yes, I can hear it. It was very faint and very fast. Jolie, I can hear it!
Follow it back. It is my heart, come back to us. Jolie's voice was soft.
It was some time before Harry opened his eyes. The room was familiar but he wasn't sure where he was and why he was there. Then, he remembered. He glanced over and saw Snape watching him from a chair. Harry was sprawled on a bed in a room in Sirius' house.
"Did we do it?" he gasped.
Snape looked exhausted. "Yes."
"Where are Jolie and Pascal?" Harry asked, sitting up gingerly. He felt sore all over.
"They are downstairs having breakfast." Snape looked unusually frail and aged.
"Is it morning already? " Harry looked around. Drapes covered the window and the room was lit with candles. "Are you all right?" Harry asked. "I feel like I've very sore."
Snape watched him. "Actually, Mr. Potter, it's been two days. This is the morning of the third day."
"What do you mean?" Harry felt light-headed. "Two days!"
"Yes," Snape didn't move. His hand was over his eyes and he was slumped in the chair in a very uncharacteristic-like pose. "We were very lucky. I hadn't expected that to happen. Albus just drew us in. He also very neatly kicked us out, too. Your friends helped us get back." He looked up and dropped his hand to the chair arm.
Harry waited, thinking through what he'd just heard. "Can you help me understand what it all meant?"
The man dressed in black studied him and was a long time in answering. "I believe Albus needs to be at Hogwarts to recover. I think the source of his power and strength lies there." Snape straightened. He looked like Harry felt; bruised and sore, but was not a physical bruising. It was in his eyes and Harry wondered if he didn't have the same dark look to his eyes.
Harry marveled at the struggle taking place inside the man as he sat and watched his face. He wasn't sure Snape could accept the need to join forces with him. They had already been through a lot together and yet Snape always drew back, defensive and petulant. Harry had just shared minds with the man who sat before him. He knew Snape! They had shared more than just the confrontation with Dumbledore. As they moved through Dumbledore's world Harry saw images and sensations representing Snape's life, many of which he could not understand. Still, there were many that he did understand and he was aware he could not be pushed.
"Potter, you know who the Guardians are?""
Harry shivered as if the room had grown cold. "Guardians?"
"Remus told you, don't be thick," Snape scolded. "The true Guardians of the Order of the Phoenix," Snape said.
"Yes. He told me something about it," Harry answered. "He didn't know much, just that Albus was one of few…" Harry also had absorbed some of Dumbledore's life and he was beginning to understand more about the Guardians. He waited, knowing Snape was going to reveal more about them.
"Did he also tell you your father was one?" Snape said.
"No!" Harry sucked in his breath. "God no, he didn't."
"Griffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin; all Guardians."
"They were?" Harry forgot his discomfort and sat up facing Snape.
"Yes. The founders of Hogwarts were all Guardians. That was until Slytherin decided to use the dark power to become the most powerful wizard in the world. He left Hogwarts when the others refused to maintain the purity… the purebloods." Snape said. As if reciting the information to himself.
He sat staring into the room, his gaze unfocused. "Of course, there have been Guardians over the course of the centuries which followed the founders of Hogwarts. They were drawn from the students who attended Hogwarts." Snape put his hands together and templed his fingers, raising them to his chin in an uncharacteristic moment of exhaustion. "Each generation of Guardian becomes the foundation of the Order: the true Order. I won't speak of it's mission here, but you are aware of it. We are but a branch of that Order."
Harry nodded.
"Your father was a Guardian, so it is easy to conjecture you would be as well. Dumbledore knew who those children would be; he chose them for very special qualities. Children who were abused, 'Snape's voice cracked slightly and then he pulled it back, "children without parents. The new generation…" he broke off suddenly before struggling to continue. "Those who are alive now… They would follow in his footsteps."
Harry's mind flew with activity. My father a Guardian. An orphan? He wondered. Then, "Tom Riddle, an orphan; his only home was Hogwarts," Harry said aloud. "And me, an orphan. My only true home has been Hogwarts." Harry was thinking of others, Neville Longbottom, for one.
"Yes. Riddle would have been prepared… was trained... to become one of the Guardians. Trained by Albus, until he left Hogwarts," Snape said looking thoughtful. "I doubt he knows what he did to himself."
"And you?" Harry asked. "Dumbledore rescued you. You weren't an orphan but ..." Harry stopped.
Snape dropped his head, a look of agony flashing across it. He pulled up his sleeve and exposed the Dark Mark glowing against his skin. "Because of this, I was not suitable."
"Why did you take it then?" Harry asked. "Why did you let Voldemort mark you?"
Snape threw back his head and closed his eyes. He remained silent.
"You know, Professor," Harry began, trying to keep his voice level and calm, "all I ever hear is part-truths. Just when I think I know and understand, I run into another layer of secrets; layer after layer after layer, from everyone. Dumbledore kept them. And you… I had to learn that you loved my mother so I could see her after she was dead! I find out you stop becoming a Death Eater because Voldemort killed her. Now, I find my father was a Guardian and died defending, protecting… this, this…"
"Potter!" Snape' eyes snapped open, "Not here!"
"What more am I going to learn? I'm to be groomed for this job of Guardian? Will I learn Dumbledore went around choosing orphan children, without homes, so we could grow up to take his place?"
"Would that be such a horrible imposition, Mr. Potter. I would take your place in a heart beat!" Snape glared.
"Is that it?" Harry slid off the bed and stood in front of Snape, and looked down at him, "Is that why you hate me? Why you've become such a bitter man? Because you can't become Guardian? That you took a pledge to not have an allegiance to evil and you broke that promise?" Harry could feel his anger rising unexpectedly, "On pain of death, I might add. But you're not dead!" He felt the words coming effortlessly from his mouth, "If you wanted to be a Guardian why did you go over to Voldemort?"
"Stop saying the evil bastard's name!" Snape hissed. He was on his feet towering over Harry. They had both reached for their wands without thinking.
"Why? It's always the Dark Lord this, and the Dark Lord that. Where do your loyalties lay, Snape? Why aren't you dead? Why didn't Albus kill you the minute you broke your vow to the Order?"
"I am not the resource of all knowledge for you to dip into whenever your heart desires, Mr. Potter," Snape snarled, his face hardened.
They both were caught off guard by the door springing open. It was Hermione.
"Get out!" they both shouted. She paled and closed the door. They stood now, nose to nose, both furious
.
"You were among the children chosen. Dumbledore loved you!" Harry said bitterly. "How could you do this to him?"
"You've got it wrong as usual, Potter," Snape said, through his gritted teeth. "I took the mark because Albus asked me to."
Harry was dumbfounded. "You what?"
"I took it willingly." Snape turned and dropped into his chair as if deflated. The fury was over. Harry stood staring at him in horror.
Snape looked at the wall and said dreamily, "Albus told me once that it is only through knowing Evil that we can know Good. Each child he chose had known evil, and, in their own way, marked by it. Supposedly, once marked as innocent child you become the Uncorruptable."
Harry slumped down on the bed. "The Uncorrupted." It was the term Lupin used that he didn't understand.
Snape smirked, "That's what's suppose to happen. However, it doesn't always turn out that way. Tom Riddle became corrupted, as others have been. We are human beings and very fragile when it comes to our willingness to choose evil over good. Vanity, greed… the hunger for power, jealousy… whatever... it gets us all." He turned sharp, obsidian eyes at Harry. "It is a powerful master."
Harry instantly knew the reason why Snape had been watching him, angry with him all those years. He'd been waiting for him to become corrupted; had even accused him of arrogance and big-headedness.
Is that why you've hated me, he thought. Because you were afraid? Afraid I would fail Albus and turn into a dark wizard? That I would fail the man you love?
"Why did he ask you to take Vol…the Dark Lord's mark? Harry asked gently.
"He has never told me the reasons and I have never asked," Snape replied.
Harry was amazed at the number of sacrifices the man had made. "You were afraid you would find out the reason when we entered Albus' mind." He knew it was true. They had shared each other's mind and the fading residue of knowing what was in his mind was still there.
Snape remained still.
"Am I a Guardian then?" Harry asked.
Snape shook his head. "I didn't say you were a Guardian. After this,' he waved his hand absently, indicating he meant the Legilimency session. "I think it unlikely. I do not know who was chosen or if one has been chosen. Obviously, it is of great importance that we find out, and we have failed." He slumped into the chair. Their trip into Dumbledore's mind had no revealed anything of importance.
"No one knows any of this but Dumbledore," Harry said sitting back, "and me."
"The source of his power is at Hogwarts. I think he was struggling to give us a clue," Snape said quietly. "We must get him back there soon. It is clear he has lost his way."