Guess who is back! That's right! I am girding my loins and bringing you a whole new chapter for ALL YOU NEED IS LUUURVE. I know I have been away in No-Fanfiction-a-go-go-land but here I am, back and better than ever before. I am no longer in jail (school) and I have all the time in the world to write – that is if all you lovely chummies still want me to? I sure hope so because here it is – a whole new (and hopefully fabby) chapter twelve. Strap on your horns and adjust your nungas, girls!

Disclaimer: Yadda Yadda Yadda.. I don't own the Marvy world of G. Nicolson. How poo is that?

Monday, October 7th

8:30 am

Lolloping up the hill to Stalag 14 all on my ownsy. My deary best pal to the universe and back is at home with "the painters in" which is just Jazzy code for "I am far to full of heartbreakosity to leave my bed of pain in the sobbing suite of the heartbreak hotel". Well, live and let live is what I have to say. I was nearly a permanent wotsit at the heartbreak hotel. It's character building.

Assembly

Hawkeye back on seeing-eye dog duty. I had refrained from doing anything marvy with my beret and did not even bother doing skirt rollsy-upsy. I am much too tired from my weekend of fun and shenanigans.

I said to Rosie "I am much too tired from my weekend of fun."

She said "Yes, well too many cooks spoil the cheese."

WHAT?

German

Herr Kamyer has truly outdone himself today in the trouser area. Did you know it is possible to get silk trousers with stars on them? It is.

Rosie put her hand up and Herr Kamyer blinked at her through his glasses and said "Jah, yes Rosie?"

"I am just curious as to where you got your trousers from? My boyfriend Sven is from Lapland and is particularly interested in international fashions."

I would like to think this was a fit of comic genius – sadly I know her and Sven far too well.

RE

The Ace Gang and I have begun our beauty regime for the walk home. How dim can Miss Wilson be? She is far too busy stuttering on about something to even see that Jools has pulled down her tights (Oo-er) and is shaving her legs. Honestly!

5 Minutes Later

Miss Wilson finally noticed Jools shaving her legs. In fact, she could have remained oblivious if Jools hadn't shouted out "OY BLOODY HELL AND LACKADAY!" when she accidentally cut her leg with the razor.

4:00 pm

As we scrambled out the doors of Hades, we noticed the lads were waiting for us by the gates. When they saw us they began shouting "NUNGA NUNGA NUNGA"

Thank God I had my natural makeup applied (about three inches of panstick, lashings of mascara and nearly half a tube of strawberries n crème lippy) coz Dave was waiting front and center with his naughty grin and aura of sexiness and oomph.

Walking Home

The whole lot of us are doing arm-linksys. God help whatever soldier walks towards us.

Dave was telling us of some of the days goss at the lads school.

"You should have seen it," He said trotting in front of us. He turned around to face me. "Rollo had spilled his lunch break choco milk on the floor and Phil the nerd came ambling over and slipped and had an absolute, tip top spasm to end all spasms before he landed arse down in the milk. Top comedy points all around"

Ellen, know for her sensibility and caringness (not) was snuggled up to Declan and said "Well, erm.. was he, like Phil.. was he, y'know? Alright? Erm?"

We stared at her.

Rollo, who was being fed a Mars Bar by Jools said (between mouthfuls) "Yeah then we picked him up and put him wet-botty first into the rubbish bin. Excellent."

The lads did that stereo-laughing thing and started laughing and slapping each other. Why?

20 minutes later

We all split up, except for Dave and I. He put his arm around me and gave me a proper, full frontal snog. Mmm jelloid knickers extraordinare with a helping of quivery legs syndrome.

"Sex Kitty, it has to be said" Dave said, "You are absolute top in the snogging department."

I tried to seem modest, "Well, fanks Dave. You are quit literally the king of nip libbling"

He took his arm away from me and did a sort of Mick Jagger strut, "They don't call me Dave the biscuit for nothing!" and at that point he began his mad twisting. Why?

2 minutes later

I have joined in on the mad twisting and Dave attempted to do a comedy leap into my arms which was not good as 1) I was unprepared and 2) I am not strong. As I have said many, many times to anyone who will listen (No one) that I may have rickets or scurvy or some kind of disease-y type fandango coz my diet mainly consists of oven chips, jammy dodgers and the occasional midget gem (preferably not from Jazzy's secret stash).

Anyways, both Dave and I crashed to the floor quite hard. I have probably once again broken my bumoley. Cheers.

5:30 pm

Dave left me at my doorstep with a quick stop to number six, and a pat on my bottom.

"S'laters you cheeky minx" and he walked off whistling the theme from Harry Potter and the Philosophers Pants.

5:40 pm

No one is in. Typico. However there is a scrap of paper on the floor (heavily chewed).

Gee
We've gone to visit Grandad and Maisie. Will be home late.

Xoxo Mum

Ps Jas rang for you

Excellent. After a long day of torture the only thing I ask for is a nourishing stew to be waiting for me when I get home. But I suppose that is as likely as me marrying Prince Harry.

A minute later

Actually, I think there is a greater chance of me marrying P. Harry. I hear he is red bottomed minx always snogging commoners whilst he is out clubbing. Perhaps I will run into him one day at the Buddha Lounge and he will see that I'm destined for royalty.

Two minutes later

Although it might be quite weird moving into Bucky Palace with the Queen seeing as I know her bra size (48 D).

Oh noooooo! I have accidentally thought of the queens nungas as well as accidentally cheated on Dave the Laugh with Harry! Pooooooooo.

6:00 pm

Rang Dave.

"Hello, mister Sparkling personality speaking!"

"Ohh Dave I am so sorry!"

"Kittykat? What's wrong, pet?"

"I have accidentally cheated on you with P. Harry in my mind!"

Silence.

"Dave?" I asked.

"Do you mean to say you have accidentally cheated on me. With Prince Harry? As in Prince Harry, Buckingham palace's resident bad boy?" He asked.

"Err… Yes?"

"Phew! I thought I was the only one who had fantasies involving the royal fam!" Dave said, " I quite often dream about me and the Queen having a quick session of number nine, with just a hint of promise of number 10 in the near future."

Boys are mad.

Two minutes later

Does he really fantasize about the Queen? Well, I suppose anything can happen in a world of loin girding and being "binned" while you have a soggy botty from choccy milk.

6:20 pm

I have accidentally gone over to Jas' only to hear her ramble on about heartbreak.

"We were so – sniffle – good together!" She moaned. "Why does he need – blubber – space?" Her eyes were all swollen and piggy and red. I handed her a tissue and she blew her nose. Erlack!

Snuggled up in Jas' bed

She is far too weak and sad to kick me out. Ha! Still, I do feel bad for my little pally even though she was Urma Unhelpful when I was suffering a broken heart. I am a great pal. I hope Baby Jesus is watching me being all selfless and helping the less fortunate (Jas) so that way when I really need something, B.J comes up in trumps.

Jas says she is never leaving her bed again.

"Au contraire, my little hairy pally, this calls for an impromptu extraordinary meeting of the ace gang. Gird your loins and put something sensible on"

5 minutes later

I have called the gang. We are all meeting at Luigi's for cappuccinos and plotting. Ostracized veg boy will regret the day he ever broke Jas' legume filled heart.

Okay fine, I may be back but not better than before. YET! I am just getting back into the swing of things and my fingers were all huddly duddly from not writing in soooo long! Hopefully this was okay and I hope I have managed to keep a few readers! I'll be back with more chappies and more fun and snogging soon! REMEMBER TO REVIEW SO I KNOW TO KEEP GOING WITH THIS! xooxox em