Disclaimer: The fanfic is mine, but the characters and whole shebang belong to L. Rennison.

6:00 pm

Home just in time for a lovely supper of erm… nothing. However, Vati gave me the famous "You treat this house like a bloody hotel…" speech, which was first given back in the days of ancient Rome. Or something.

5 Minutes Later

Poking about in the fridge for something to eat. Ah, yes there are quite a few things I could sink my teeth into.

However, I am not a fan of mouldy cheese and butter with cat hair in it.

A Minute Later

Tucked in to my lovely din-din of jammy dodgers and coke. How nutritious. Not. I will probably wake up tomorrow morning with my hair all fallen out, and my skin sagging off from my lack of nutrients.

Mutti will probably have a field day. She would be sooo happy coz we would have to pop in (Oo-er) to see Doctor Clooney.

Phone Ringing

I yelled out "PHONE!"

Mutti called back "Can you answer it, Gee? Libby got into the strawberry jelly." I don't even want to know.

"Jelly headquarters, Georgia speaking!"

It was Sven.

"Oy, Jelly baby! Have you be holding a papaya in the knickers? Oh yeah, baby! Keep grooving! Ya, chicks!" Then he slammed the phone down.

I'll tell you one thing for free, the thought of a papaya in my knickers does seem like something that could occur in my house.

A Minute Later

I did once wake up and find a few apple slices down my jim jams. That was the last time Mutti let Libs take fruit slices to bed.

Thursday, October 10th

Assembly

Slim is rambling on and on about how it is a "privilege not a right" to be working with the Foxwood lads on Rom and Jul and how we should take the play more seriously have we have our schools "reputation" to uphold.

Reputation, my arse! If there is anything Stalag 14 has a reputation for it is lesbian teachers, uncontrollable bobs and mad, old Elvis. And by the way rehearsals have been going, I don't think the play is going to give Slim the "reputation" she so vair much wants.

Speaking of reputation, Nauseating P. Green (who has the reputation of being the most boring person on the planet) has got a quite interestingly interesting haircut. Interesting if you like a frog with a bob.

The gang and I were doing are usual passing around of chuddie and not paying attention to Slims jelloid chin syndrome or listening to what she was raving on about when we heard some startling news.

"I am pleased to announce that as a treat for those of you who are participating in the production of Romeo and Juliet Miss Wilson and Herr Kamyer have offered to take you all to Verona, Italy for a week after the play has finished. How exciting is that? I wish I could come along, as well!"

Gadzooks!

English

Miss Wilson is sooo excited for Italy. Her bob nearly bobbled off and walked away.

"Verona is so lovely," she said. "It is, as you know where Romeo and Juliet takes place. So historical and romantic! To those of you have never been to Italy, it is molto, molto bellisima!" And she began to sigh, possibly thinking of her and Herr Kamyer kissing under the leaning tower of Pisa. Is that even in Verona? Do I care?

The gang are all vair excited for Stalag 14 on tour.

"Remember when we went to gay Paree and we got the comedy berets? Perhaps we can come back from Pizza-a-go-go Land with comedy gondolier hats?" Rosie suggested.

"Erm, oh, well, what is like, what is a gondolier?" Ellen dithered.

"Keep up, Ellen." I said, "Gondoliers are those blokes in stripy shirts that sing and paddle the gondolas in Italy."

"Venice is known for its gondolas. Not Verona." said Jas, the world renowned Gondola expert.

Rosie put her hand up. You could tell Miss Wilson really wanted to ignorez vous her, but she couldn't.

"Yes, Rosemary?"

"Well, Miss I was wondering if perhaps while we are in Pizza-a-go-go Land your boyfriend the Swan of Avon, Billy will be meeting us? I would quite like to get an introduction, if that is alright?" I do not know how she manages to keep a straight face,

Miss Wilson smoothed out her bob and breathed in deeply. She has once again pulled out all the stops fashionwise today. She has on a plum purple, velour jumpsuit with red felt booties. "Well, erm, Rosemary as I have told you before, I do not know William Shakespeare and uhm, Julia will you please take that beard off."

Break

We all have a whiff of pizza and vino tinto in our nostrils. We even have been kissing each others cheeks and saying "Ciao, Bella!"

Though, I must say all of this Pizza-a-go-go Land talk is making Masimo pop up (Oo-er) in my head. Perhaps if I see him while I am in Italy I will say "Ciao" and perhaps give him a matey-mate type hug. I think.

Maths

Maths is absolute poo. I am not going to become a mathematician when I grow up so what is le point? Jools started note sending

I wonder if the love birds Herr Kamyer and Miss Wilson will re-enact Rom and Julz famous balcony scene "Romeo, Romeo where for art thou pants?"when we get to Verona.
Jools
Ps. HHHHOOOOOORRRRRRNNNNNNN

One can only hope so.
G xo

Jas replied and tossed the note back to me.

There is an actual place in Verona called "Juliet's Balcony" which, of course is a balcony much like Shakespeare described. People from all over the world travel their and leave love notes. I do hope we go there so I could write a love letter to Tom. Maybe I will even post his poem "You are my only fish in the sea". I'm sure the Italian type people will enjoy it. They know their romance.
Jas

A Minute Later

Jas, all I needed was a one word reply. Not a bloody essay. Lurve you though.
Jools

4:00 pm

We were all ready to amble off home, and were just about to apply our "natural" makeup when Slim announced an impromptu Rom and Jul meeting. Sacre blue, are we never to be free?

Auditorium

Waheey! The Foxwood lads came barging in the doors. They were all slapping each others bottoms and shouting wubbish like "Oooh Son!" Boys are mental.

Two Minutes Later

Slim made the lads sit on the other side of the auditorium. Her chins were shaking like billio.

"Settle down, settle down" She said, "Now this is a very special occasion…" I was about to shout out "You're telling me!" Normally Stalag 14 is a lad-free zone. There were probably about a million girls waiting outside the doors hoping to catch a glimpse of them. "As my girls already know," Slim carried on "After the final production of Romeo and Juliet, they will be taken on a trip to Verona. Now, Mister Fields the headmaster of Foxwood has decided to allow the boys who have taken part in the production to go along as well…"

The whole auditorium erupted in cheers. I could hear Dave the Laugh shouting out "Mister Fields, you da Vati!"

After about a million hours of Slim telling us we have the weight of the world on our knees or whatever she gave us a permission package to take home and have our parents sign.

Oooh I am soooo excited! It's going to be sooo marvy having the lads with us! I have never done international romancing!

A Minute Later

Unless of course you count Jas and I taking nuddy-pants photos in Hamburger-a-go-go Land. Which is not at all romanticosity. Just friendosity.

10 Seconds Later

And I don't think Jock McThick molesting my basooma in Och Aye Land counts either.

5 Seconds Later

Nor does that crap mime in Paris who pretended to be juggling my nungas. I hope Italian type people are not as mad and pervy as Froggy people. Or Och Aye Land folk.

At Home

5:45 pm

Dave gave me a piggyback ride all the way home. He said he could not wait to snog my face off inside the Coliseum. Jas had to spoil the romance of it all by saying that the Coliseum is in Rome which is no where near Verona. Typico.

When we got to my front gate, I got off of Dave's back and he gave me a number six snog (yummy scrumboes) "Have you decided what you're dressing as for my party? Perhaps a prostitute? Or maybe an Ork?"

"No, no and thrice no." I told him. I do not understand why boys are sooo obsessed with Orks and ogres and things like that. "What are you being?"

He pretended to zip his lips and throw away the key. "Ni nannon nay!"

"Pardon?"

He ran off and pretended to pick up the key he tossed on the floor and pretended to unzip his lips. "I cannot say. However, I must go buy red body paint. S'laters Kittykat." He gave me a light kiss on the lips and walked away.

Well, there you are! Another chapter has come and gone! Please favourite, subscribe and review, please! I shall not post anymore fabby-ness until I get atleast 81 reviews! Thats just two more than I already have! So get on that! xo Em