Karofsky was dreaming that he was at a carnival. He sat in one of the teacups whirling round and round, out of control. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't get the ride to stop, and the more he struggled the faster it went. He started to panic as the world flew by him in swirls of green and blue, reaching out for anything to stop his never ending cycle. Just when he thought all hope was lost, he felt a familiar hand slide into his. The ride suddenly came to a stop.
"Dave?"
Karofsky was torn out of his sleep and his eyes flew open. He knew that voice.
"Sam?" he whispered, voice rough from sleep. "What are you doing here? How'd you get in?"
Karofsky was referring to the strict no-visitors policy the hospital had for patients that had been Baker Act-ed.
"It's your last day… I convinced them it would be alright for a visitor." Sam shrugged. He looked tired almost as if he hadn't slept in days. "I've missed you. How are they treating you?"
"Like I'm crazy. I'd rather get my stomach pumped again than talk to one more psychiatrist.
Karofsky sighed. Ever since he'd gotten here his life had been one never ending of doctors and nurses asking him questions and checking up on him. It wasn't easy living under a magnifying glass.
Sam smiled, a bittersweet type of smile that said it was too soon for jokes.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Sam asked, his heavy brown eyes staring into Karofsky's.
"I don't know. I wanted to… but I was scared. I- I might seem tough Sam, but I'm not. I'm afraid of everything."
The statement hung there in the air for a few seconds, neither boys sure of how to digest it. It was probably the most honest things they'd told each other in a while.
"I know," Sam almost whispered.
"I tried to be strong for you Sam, I really did."
Sam's forehead wrinkled and he pursed his swollen lips.
"Dave, you don't have to be strong for me. I don't want Strong Dave, or Football Dave, or even Sweet Dave. I want you, the real you. I love you, no matter what flaws you have."
"Love," Karofsky murmured, "We say it so much… but do we mean it?"
"What are you talking about?" Sam's voice rose slightly.
Karofsky stared down at his hands and said nothing. The truth was that he didn't believe Sam loved him. You don't cheat on someone you love.
"Dave." Sam looked as if he'd been slapped. "I know I screwed up. I know. But you have to know that you're the only one for me now!"
"Then why wasn't I enough to be the only one then?"
Sam's eyes fell and something made Karofsky feel as if he'd asked himself this a thousand times.
"I don't know," came the quiet response. "You should have been enough. I'm sorry."
Karofsky kept his face emotionless, allowing no hints to how he was feeling. Sam had lied to him, his father had beaten him, and his mother had let him down. He wasn't ready to forgive any of them yet.
"Dave."
The hand in his tightened it's grip and Karofsky's eyes met Sam's.
"I don't know why I did it. Maybe I was making sure I didn't end up alone, I don't know. It doesn't matter. What I do know is that for the last three days I've been worried sick about you. I haven't slept or eaten… My- my boyfriend almost died and there was nothing I could do. I might have fucked up, but there is no chance in hell that I don't love you."
Karofsky felt his anger begin to ease. The way Sam's voice had broken over the word 'nothing' and the way that he was now sitting, holding back tears was starting to convince him.
"I don't want to lose you, Dave. Not again."
Dave leaned over to Sam, pulling him into a hug. "Hey," he said, brushing back a tear that had escaped Sam's eye, "You won't lose me. I'm not going anywhere, okay?"
Sam nodded and managed a smile. His eyes traveled around the hospital room, seeming to take in his surroundings for the first time.
"I guess we're both a little messed up, aren't we?" Sam chuckled.
"Yeah." Dave leaned in and pecked Sam softly on the lips. "But at least we're messed up together."
Both boys sat for a minute in silence, just staring into the others eyes. Finally Karofsky broke the silence.
"Hey Sam?"
"Hm?"
"When can I get out of this loony bin?"
"I see you're eating today."
A light haired boy dressed in simple dark clothing slid into the seat beside Stephen.
"Just because I fainted doesn't mean that I don't eat."
Stephen gave the boy a sidelong glance. He'd been in the Nurse's office when Stephen had arrived the other day, flanked by two other pale scared-looking boys.
"Who are you anyway?"
"Dan, sophomore. It's my first year at McKinley though. I usually hang around the Drama room, so you probably don't see me around a lot."
Stephen nodded, running a hand through his curls. "It's my first year here too. I just moved from Indiana." He poked at his fruit cup, lifting one of the peaches to his mouth. He knew he had to at least finish half to prevent another fainting spell. Dan watched him eat, as if he knew what he was thinking.
"My sister was just like you. Do you throw up too? Or just starve?"
Stephens face flushed. "That's none of your business."
"She died," Dan said offhandedly. "But that was when I was young. Is that what you want, to die?"
"Like I told you," Stephen said firmly, "this isn't any of your business. I'm sorry about your sister, but that doesn't give you the right to get involved in my life."
Dan grinned at Stephen, his blue eyes sparkling. Stephen was starting to notice that this boy was a little strange.
"You're really cute when you're flustered."
Stephen practically choked on his food. Was this guy flirting with him? Shakily, he stood up to throw away the remainder of his meal, turning away to hide the blush creeping across his face.
"Hey," Dan said, grabbing the back of Stephen's shirt, a vintage tee he'd found at a local thrift store. "Sit down and eat your damn peaches."
Stephen paused and turned around, looking from his fruit cup to Dan, then back to the fruit. He thought about protesting, but the look on Dan's face convinced him otherwise. He lowered himself back into the chair and slowly popped another peach cube into his mouth.
"Why is this so important to you?" he asked after choking down the fruit. "Why are you so interested in what I do? It's not like I mean anything to you. I'm just another stranger."
Dan lowered his eyes guiltily and mumbled, "Don't be creeped out…"
"What does that mean?"
"I've sorta been… Well what I mean is-"
Stephen rolled his eyes. "Get on with it."
"I've been keeping tabs on you for a while…"
Stephen felt his eyebrows raise so high that it was a wonder they remained attached.
"What?"
"I wasn't stalking you… It's just that you're, well," Dan lowered his voice, "Gay."
"What does that mean?"
"You're the only one here since that other boy left… I just wanted to see if I'd be interested."
"Right," Stephen smirked, "totally logical."
There was a slightly awkward pause before Stephen asked, "So… were you interested?"
The blue eyes glittered again.
"What, me? Of course I wasn't."
He swung his backpack onto his shoulders and gave Stephen a grin just as the bell rang. He stuffed his hands into his hoodie and turned away, only looking back once before disappearing into the swarm of kids.