Chapter 1:
"Hey Hotch!"
Sleep left his eyes and he sat upright.
"Emily?
-o00o-
He didn't know what to say. Was "How are you" a decent question to ask in a situation like this? And should he even address her as Emily in the first place? It seemed as if she was struggling with her own set of questions and setbacks since she was being awfully silent and the conversation had practically fallen flat after first two lines. After almost a minute, she was the one who broke the silence.
"How is Jack?" She asked. The question itself brought a smile on his face. She was steering away from talking about herself or his work and he was fine with that. Not to mention the growing awkwardness in their conversation had both of them on their knees.
"Well, Jack seems to have taken up on soccer recently and insists on eating fruit loops for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And you are now talking to Jack's soccer team's brand new coach", he said chuckling. The whole idea of him coaching the team had tickled him immensely. He had accepted it, of course.
"You? Soccer team coach? Seriously?" Laughter was evident in her voice. The schedules and the deadlines they worked under had burned their social lives and her complaining had always been the loudest. And everyone grabbed at the tiniest opportunity they got to socialize or spend more time with their family and friends. And when it came to Hotch, Jack was his whole world.
"But then again, knowing how you get involved in everything that you do, you must have made quite an impression on them." Her voice weighed heavily with admiration. He felt nice knowing about himself from the woman who always distanced herself away from him.
"I don't have luxury of time like most parents when it comes to their kids. I have to make most of every moment given to me for both mine and Jack's sake." The tightness that gnawed his heart when he spoke of his personal life was loosened that night. It was only Dave with who he shared a level of comfort when he spoke about his widower status and his son.
"I wish I had seen you with other kids on soccer field once. I always wondered what Aaron Hotchner is all about when he is stripped off suit, badge, gun and the job title that he has." She spoke of a man who loved his family and did everything he could to save his marriage only to lose it in the end. Knowing the part of the man who did as much as he did on the job, she wondered why Haley didn't give him time to be what he was.
"He is just another father who squirms when his son falls on the ground but lifts him up and encourages to continue the game. He is worries about not spending more time with his son given how his job takes him all over the country and silently prays that his son's understanding doesn't turn into a string of disappointments." He answered as a matter of fact. He mused why Emily Prentiss who was presumed to be dead by many was calling him at wee hours in morning and talking about things that two friends would normally chat on a sunny afternoon with a glass of lemonade. Given their lifestyles, weirdness and oddity were all shoved under the carpet and they took everything they were offered.
"I bet those kids would be calling you a drill sergeant." She sniggered at her own joke. He wished she could see him roll his eyes over the not-so-private BAU joke. She was quiet for many moments and so was he. He waited for her to speak.
"Thank you Hotch." Her soft words were barely audible.
"For what?" There was something extremely vulnerable about her that night. It was probably the thought that she was practically all alone in the world being stuck in a memory from time to time while knowing that others gradually moved on.
"For picking up the cellphone. You have no idea how glad I am that you did." He couldn't speak. She continued. "May I call you again?" Uncertainty resonated in her voice.
"I would really like that", he answered immediately.
She hung up a moment later. He stared at the cellphone his mind recounting the conversation all over again. It had been utterly surreal to hear from her and he was surprised at his own level of comfort he felt while talking to her. The awkwardness had reduced a notch and they seemed to have found a common footing. The conversation wasn't much, but it was a start.
For once, he didn't perform a linguistic profile on their conversation. For once he didn't bring in his more than two decades of experience and dissected every little nuance and perhaps profile his own behavior. For once, he let it be. And for once, he decided to simply sit back and allow this to unfold.
-o00o-
Two weeks later:
"Oh, I almost forgot. I think this is yours", Hotch handed Reid his metro card. "I found it in elevator this morning but I forgot to give it you right away. I apologize." Hotch said.
It was late evening and they were driving back from the prison where they had conducted interview of an inmate who was on death row. The interview had gone smoothly contrary to what they had initially thought and Hotch for once was glad that the encounter hadn't ended in a hostile situation.
"Thanks Hotch." Reid looked at the card and smiled looking out of the window. Hotch knew the young profiler enough to understand that Reid was smiling after remembering a fond memory. He didn't prod further.
"Hotch, did you know that Emily took metro with me about two to three times a week?" Hotch looked at Reid in surprise. No, he didn't. He shook his head.
"She told me that driving to work was boring and she felt lonely sitting in traffic and listening to lame radio. So she took train to work so that at least for some time she would have my company while commuting to and fro." Fondness was obvious in Reid's narration. Hotch didn't say anything. He knew that there was still more to come.
"I knew that she took train rides because she wanted to give me company and not the other way around. I selfishly pretended it to be otherwise. With her, the commute was always fun. In mornings we would profile random people and our whispered laughs used fetch us dirty looks from fellow passengers. While going back she used to drag me to these small cafes and restaurants tucked between modern establishments where timed seemed to have stood still. She knew so many of these joints allover DC and she encouraged me to find new ones on my own." Reid stopped talking and took a look at Hotch. He wondered if his monologue wasn't welcome and was suffocating Hotch with his personal experiences.
"Did you find any?" Hotch asked.
"I did find a couple of them actually. I rarely had any plans on weekends and then suddenly I had this new hobby of finding family run establishments – from small breakfast joints to florists; bookstores to restaurants. It was a good break from reading and I got a chance to interact with a number of people from different background and different walks of life. It was difficult at first, but I learned slowly. She taught me how I can be alone and yet never be a loner." Reid finished softly. Hotch knew how socially awkward Reid could get and was more than surprised the way Emily had dealt with it. He hadn't known she would go out of her way to make Reid realize how much enjoyable he can be if he allowed himself to be. He could imagine Reid and Emily to conspire some nonsense and giggling like little kids. He smiled at the imagery in his head.
"When I am commuting back home in an almost empty train, her memories hit me the hardest. I pass by those stations which were foreign to me before I met her and there is not one day I try to get down and visit those restaurants but somehow I am frozen in my seat. I want to go to that small Italian place where we ate desserts first and ordered main course later. I want to go to the café whose owner believed that I was a girl and was posing as a boy with Emily encouraging the thought much to my embarrassment. But somehow I am not able to get myself to even make a plan of going to those places. It's as if going there would mean confronting the truth; truth being her death." Reid's voice had reduced to a hoarse whisper which shook with the agony of loss he felt.
Hotch saw torment evident on Reid's face. Reid had very few friends and acquaintances and they had ended up being so after months of interaction with him. It took him a lot of time to invite people into his personal life and when they left, like Emily or Gideon, it hurt him the most. They were quiet for most part of the rest of the drive to Quantico.
As they took elevators back to the bullpen, Hotch asked. "Reid, do you want to go get dinner at one of those places you used to visit with Emily?" When he saw how surprised Reid looked, he amended. "I do not want to replace your memory of her. I only want you to rejoice every memory you had with her."
"Shall I ask rest of the team?" Reid answered after a long pause. Hotch smiled and nodded.
After many weeks he saw Reid laughing at a lame joke Morgan made. Small lights glittered around them and early spring's warmth gushed along with their laughter. Garcia squealed like a little girl when the owners invited them in personally to a private terrace calling them "Spencer and Emily's friends".
That night, he felt he knew a part of Emily Prentiss which was closely associated to Reid. And Reid had invited him to that part of the world which was joyous and celebrated wonderful companionship.
Once back home, he checked upon Jack and kissed him goodnight. Every night before he went to sleep, he kept the cellphone next to his work phone. He obsessively carried it with him wherever he went but switched it on only during the night. He hadn't spoken to her since her first call and vaguely mused if it was only a one time deal. As he settled for the night he wished he could talk to her again even if they spoke about random subject for less than five minutes.
His wish was granted five hours later when the cellphone rang at 3:29 AM.
"Hey Hotch." Her smooth voice wrapped in smile came through. He could only smile and respond.