BLEACH
~THE ADVENTURES OF ORIHIME~
"Episode 2: In Which Orihime Has a Secret Admirer"
In the solitude of her home, with the windows drawn, Orihime Inoue exits her bathroom, after flushing the toilet unsuccessfully. A mysterious note lies at her feet.
Orihime: *Reading from note*
I have darkish skin
I have darkish hair
I'm a giraffe.
Ichigo: 'Sup, Inoue!
Orihime: Kurosaki-kun, HAIIIIII. *bats eyelashes*
Ichigo: Off your period, I see?
Orihime: Moo?
Ichigo: O_o
Orihime: Look at this note!
Ichigo: What note?
Orihime: Oops, I lost it in my breasties.
Ichigo: :P *reads note*
Orihime: Who is it?
Ichigo: Chad-o?
Orihime: Nonsense, Sado-kun is white.
Ichigo: ?
Orihime: I love you.
Ichigo: What?
Orihime: Nothing.
Ichigo: School time!
On the way to school, Ichigo and Orihime are attacked by a Hollow!
Orihime: Kurosaki-kun! Save me 'cuz I'm useless!
Ichog: BANKAI
Orihime: SANTEN KESSHUN, BOOBIE BLAST!
Hollow: XD
Ichigo: *distracted by Orihime's womanhood*
Hollow: *kills Ichigo*
Orihime: O_o Oh ones, I'm alone and frightened!
Hollow: CERO
Orihime: FUCKINSHIT THAT HURTS
Chad: Inoue! I'LL SAVE YOU! LA MUERTE
Hollow: X_X (dead)
Chad: Are you okay, Inoue?
Orihime: You saved me! I never knew you had such beautiful darkish hair and smooth darkish skin!
Chad: lolwut
Orihime: You remind me of a giraffe...
Ichigo: O_o (magically revived because he's the anime's main character)
Orihime: *glaring at Ichigo* What do YOU want?
Ichigo: Inoue, I think Chad is your-
Orihime: SHADDUP, BUTT-HAIR. You're just jealous I have better breasts than you!
Ichigo: O_o; I don't have-
Orihime: YES YOU DO. You have saggy man boobs. MAN. BOOBS.
Chad: ...moobs?
Orihime: YES! MOOBS.
Ichigo: Stop mooing...
Orihime: I SAID MOOBS
Later at school...
Keigo: EEEEEEEEE-CHIIIII-GO!
Ichigo: Get off me, man, I feel oddly attracted to you.
Keigo: =D
Mizuirio: He's right, Keigo, he's oddly—WHAT?
Tatsuki: I KNEW IT!
Chizuru: I'M THE ONLY HOMOSEXUAL IN HERE
(Yadoumaru Lisa: SHUT UP BITCH)
Orihime: PAY ATTENTION TO ME
Ichigo: O_o whodat.
Orihime: touch me.
Chad: KAY.
Orihime: So YOU are my secret admirer!
Chad: ...
Orihime: *takes out note and shows him*
Chad: wuzn't me...
Classroom: O_o?
Tousen Kaname: =D
THE END